canceled surgery 3 times

[connie123lok 5]

I was originally supposed to get my surgery about 4 months ago and ended up canceling it because I did not know if I could deal with this major life style change. I have made an app and rescheduled about three times already, when I was only days away I would chicken out and postpone it once again.

My dr told me the most recent time that I saw him that I could no longer reschedule my surgery and that if I did he would not be able to perform it on me.

My surgery us once again days away! an here I am wanting to postpone/ cancel it, why? because I have yet to fully get my over eating hobbits under control. I am very much addicted to food an been craving it like crazy. Any opinions of wat I should do? Also I am supposed to be on my two week post op diet of two shakes a day and a sensible dinner. I have completely wasted the first week of this diet because I did not follow it at all, I actually over ate. I have one week left to do this diet and so far I have been sticking to it, do u think because I am following the diet for one week instead of two it can cause complications?

My surgeon is very direct and harsh and just has a dominating/ intimidating personality, not willing to hear about my struggles. That's why I do not feel comfortable speaking to him unfortunately. I'm 21 years old and am very stressed

any help please

[brookie 89]

u either want to do it or u dont,u have to decide one or the other.this is not an easy way out but it will help u w cravings & only being able to eat small portions.i just had it done at 48,if i were ur age i would go for it & start getting healthy & living life asap.goodluck

[jenpa 34]

I can NOT tell you what to do. I can tell you that I am almost 47 ..., most of my life I have had ups &downs when it comes to my weight. Over the years I have wasted countless hours , days , weeks and months worrying about my health my future health how I will look in front of people what I am going to wear . how I get out of breath walking up a hill or just a set of stairs how my body aches & cant do what I want with my kids-how I have no control over what I eat at times it just consumes me ...on top of the added health issues of many many years of yo-yo diets there is just so much of my life wasted because of being overweight. Regrets absolutely-yes I wish I could go back in time & have done my surgery when I was better. Not now when I am suffering from so many things related to obesity. I am scheduled June 5th 2018 . I am terrified, nervous & hopeful - I hope this will help me make up some of my wasted time. I hope it gives me a chance to start over& work at being healthier .this is a tool & a gift. I wish the best for you !

[JulieBaker 1]

How are you doing I am 51 and I am scared I might be to old to loose a lot of weight I really hope I can my bypass surgery is May 9th and I have lost only 19lbs so far scared and getting nervous

[Creekimp13 5,838]

When you change your mind about major surgery at the last minute:

1. You are depriving other people of that surgery spot

2. You are creating endless paperwork for both your surgeon's office and your insurance.

3. You are behaving in the most self absorbed way imaginable and inconveniencing others.

4. None of your excuses for not following through hold Water. You don't seem to care about how this effects anyone but you.

Your behavior is unacceptable.

I don't blame your surgeon at all for giving you a final warning.

[Creekimp13 5,838]

Ok....whew!

Now.....let me try to be more constructive.

Pull the plug on your surgery tomorrow...because waiting until the last minute is a hundred times more obnoxious.

Then, schedule an appointment with a therapist.

You need to address getting control of your eating habits and what might be causing your difficulty with indecision.

Incidentally, indecision is a symptom of depression. If you have depression, it needs to be addressed.

I really do wish you future success, but your attitude about jerking your healthcare providers around annoys me no end.

Time to grow up a little and be responsible for what you commit to.

[connie123lok 5]

u see it as being irresponsible, jerking health care providers and being annoying but reality is I'm going through my own issues, stress and doubts.

Not to mention thinking about my future with this major surgery

um ...so yes I much rather a provider do some paper work then me getting a major surgery that can ultimately effect me negatively. That's why they getting paid to begin with right.

[Creekimp13 5,838]

It is NOT their job to stabilize your mental health enough to follow through with your commitments.

That is YOUR job.

You need to actively seek help and take care of these issues. What you are doing with surgery dates is not acceptable and soon your doctor will send you a letter saying you are no longer welcome as a patient.

Mark my words on this. Actions have consequences.

If you call the office tomorrow and explain you really need to seek some therapy first, and that your therapist will be in the loop when you're ready....they might continue to work with you.

But at this point...you are going to burn your bridges.

Edited April 17, 2018 by Creekimp13

[KimTriesRNY 1,853]

You’re not ready for this surgery.

Seek some counseling for your other issues and the stressors first. Address your relationship with food.

If you can’t follow a diet for two weeks I just don’t think now is a great time for a huge lifestyle changing surgery requiring a Vitamin regimen, alcohol abstinence, social support, and coping mechanisms that don’t involve food.

Maybe you could revisit this in a few years when you have matured and are more stable.

[nina0891 43]

I was originally supposed to get my surgery about 4 months ago and ended up canceling it because I did not know if I could deal with this major life style change. I have made an app and rescheduled about three times already, when I was only days away I would chicken out and postpone it once again.
My dr told me the most recent time that I saw him that I could no longer reschedule my surgery and that if I did he would not be able to perform it on me.
My surgery us once again days away! an here I am wanting to postpone/ cancel it, why? because I have yet to fully get my over eating hobbits under control. I am very much addicted to food an been craving it like crazy. Any opinions of wat I should do? Also I am supposed to be on my two week post op diet of two shakes a day and a sensible dinner. I have completely wasted the first week of this diet because I did not follow it at all, I actually over ate. I have one week left to do this diet and so far I have been sticking to it, do u think because I am following the diet for one week instead of two it can cause complications?
My surgeon is very direct and harsh and just has a dominating/ intimidating personality, not willing to hear about my struggles. That's why I do not feel comfortable speaking to him unfortunately. I'm 21 years old and am very stressed
any help please

When you are 30 or 40 years old, trust me you will wish you had done it sooner. I'm 36 and wish I had done it way sooner. Get your head on straight and do what's best for you.

Sent from my SM-N950U using BariatricPal mobile app

[Kahkeetsee 64]

I agree. I cancelled mine 4 years ago. I'm 55 now and think of all of the years I've been so heavy and in pain. SO wish I could have done this at your age.

Sent from my SM-J700T using BariatricPal mobile app

[alleyesonme 3]

Connie123lok I am so sorry that you feel that you cannot speak to your surgeon. I think you might want to find a surgeon that is blunt and also has bedside manner. Maybe your medical records can be transferred.

Sent from my SM-J727P using BariatricPal mobile app

[Bryn910 519]

You may see it being as everyone doing their jobs but it is added stress for the doctor, insurance companies and other employees involved.

If you canceled this surgery 4 times, why have you not seeked therapeautic help for your food issues? YOU have to want this, and it’s obvious you don’t want it.

For real though, you’re young enough to change your life now or later. Cancel the surgery, explain to your doctor the way you feel. Ask him for a referral to a therapist that specializes in food addictions, and spend a year in therapy (or more if needed). If you had this surgery in 2 years, you may be in a better place mentally.

i hope you find what you are looking for

[Frustr8 7,886]

You know what you did, it didn't hurt you as,much as it did others. Go get some consulting at a good. therapist. Let me Well,you a little of my story and I hope you'll listen. I am 72 years old, oh you will say "she's old, doesn't know what she's talking about!" But I do. It took me years and years to get ready for surgery, I was too busy, I had a family to take care of, my parents would disagree, my late husband would certainly have disagreed, and I've almost left it too late. At this point, the thought or prospect of surgery frightens me much less than the thought of no surgery, living in a fat painful body that is slowing down because the years of me carrying around this,much weight, I weigh 323 lbs on a 5ft8in nody, and in a very short,time, maybe a year or so may kill me. And although many of my friends have. done it, I DO NOT WANT TO DIE! As many others on here will tell,you I have, for the past few months, fought an uphill battle to gain my surgery. I have been through all my testing and classes and it still hasn't happened. But I am not a quitter, I want it too bad to stop now. This might sound cruel but if you aren't going to do anything with the chances you've been given,please,get out of MY Way, I want so badly and you are slowing me down . By all that is holy, move to one side and let ME through.! Now before it's too D*** Late! .....Thank You

[Frustr8 7,886]

And although I am not usually a violent person, were you my grandbaby or great grandbaby I would be sorely tempted to turn you,over my lap and spank,you! Yes I'd cry more than you would , but here it needs done!😳