My surgery was on 2/12. I have been taking time off from dating to focus on myself. I think it would be better to wait until I'm at least at my goal weight. I am concerned what kind of guys will be into me when I am skinny though. I haven't ever been small. The men who usually hit on me say they like curvy women... what if they don't like me when I am 148 lbs.

Ive run into this problem myself. But now since i am thin.. i have a new problem. LOOSE SKIN. Its going to happen. It makes me really insecure while meeting new guys. I've just decided to focus on myself and not worry about men rn.

I have a very unique perspective on dating I am pansexual and polyamorus with my hubby who is bi and polyamorus. For those that do not understand let me break it down a bit I am attracted to anyone regardless of gender or gender expression also me and my hubby are actively looking for other people to get involved with. So when it comes to dating to me I've had the pleasure of meeting amazing people and one thing that remains constant for me regardless of my weight is the acceptance of people where they are and expecting the same in return. Life is too damn short to put up with someone who does not value you ass you are

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Based on past experience, the most frustrating piece of losing weight is your perception of how other people treat you/are attracted to you as you lose weight. This can be a massive mindfuck. Suddenly friends who you had slow-burning crushes on long ago are cropping up again and claiming they've had a crush on you since high school. You become more and more aware of how many people are checking you out on the bus. When a totally new person sidles up to you and shows interest, your brain kicks into overtime to try and game out how they would've treated you 100 lbs ago. It's all in your head but so is food addiction and we all know how powerful THAT one is.

Personally, I'm going to therapy to tackle this one before it gets its hooks into me. I already know that my reaction to the changes above can be a desire to become "invisible" again, which prior to surgery usually meant regain. I also know that my view of humanity takes a massive hit because with the increase in approaches, flirtation, invitations - it's flattering, but I can't hel but think "why didn't you act like this with me last year?". You start to see what fat bias is like from the ranks of the skinny. You end up feeling really bad for the person you used to be and sometimes angry and bitter at the people who are suddenly being so much more welcoming and in some cases hitting on you.

Someone out there will like you, don't worry about that part. MANY people will like you. Just get yourself in the right headspace to deal with that influx.

Edited March 24, 20188 yr by sideeye

My surgery was on 2/12. I have been taking time off from dating to focus on myself. I think it would be better to wait until I'm at least at my goal weight. I am concerned what kind of guys will be into me when I am skinny though. I haven't ever been small. The men who usually hit on me say they like curvy women... what if they don't like me when I am 148 lbs.

I totally understand. I have a friend who would question whether women actually liked him. When he was overweight, couldn't get a date. Once he lost it, couldn't keep the women away. He figured women only liked how he looked, not who he was as a person.

SW:275
GW:150
Height: 4ft 11in
VSG: 5/11/2018

Brittney let me be kinda practical. At 148 you'll still have curves, your boobs won't have to compete with your belly for attention and your booty will be small enough a guy can hold each cheek in his hands when he pulls you close to him. Put out your sweet personality toward him and rein him in, if he has even half his hormones working he'll like what he sees, want to get closer to you, and from then you two will write your own kind of music. I wish you the best,because you deserve the best life can offer. Go for it![emoji106][emoji13]

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8 minutes ago, frust8 said:

Brittney let me be kinda practical. At 148 you'll still have curves, your boobs won't have to compete with your belly for attention and your booty will be small enough a guy can hold each cheek in his hands when he pulls you close to him. Put out your sweet personality toward him and rein him in, if he has even half his hormones working he'll like what he sees, want to get closer to you, and from then you two will write your own kind of music. I wish you the best,because you deserve the best life can offer. Go for it!

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haha thank you! You are totally right. I actually have found a boyfriend who is super understanding of the surgery and effects. He just says I am not allowed to loose my ass. He doesn't care if my boobs deflate haha. He is overweight too and I just him just the way he is!

Good for you that you found him and I hope he realizes how lucky he is to have found you. Go make sweet music together, maybe wedding bells off in the future? At any rate enjoy the here and now. God Bless! .........the Bariatric Godmother[emoji72][emoji96]

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And any updates now that it is almost August? Does the fairy-tale romance? continue, are you still happy and content @ Britteny H??

I'd guess that your entire dating landscape will change. By that I mean you are going to change, your confidence will change, your tolerance for BS with change, you will find a voice you didn't know you had.

In other words, you may want to begin to ask yourself, not who will like me, but who will deserve me.

Just my .02

Edited August 3, 20188 yr by JConforti

Ummm hun you’re gorgeous regardless, there are like billions of penis’ out in the universe i’m sure plenty of them will find you attractive when you’re smaller.

Besides, don’t think about it, most of the time you accidentally find awesome connections when you least expect it.

See now, I like me a BIG boy! Of course, I also like athletic builds. But I am looking for a beautiful heart and soul and will not limit myself based on how someone looks, what color they are, what size, etc. I hope to find someone who is looking for the same!

On 3/1/2018 at 6:22 AM, BrittneyH said:

My surgery was on 2/12. I have been taking time off from dating to focus on myself. I think it would be better to wait until I'm at least at my goal weight. I am concerned what kind of guys will be into me when I am skinny though. I haven't ever been small. The men who usually hit on me say they like curvy women... what if they don't like me when I am 148 lbs.

Okay if I'm to be completed shallow in my own mind it doesn't matter to me whether a girl is 150lbs or 200lbs provided she has big breasts like DD or better, I like big butt too, but it really depends on the individual girl.

I've met numerous girls at 200lbs that had the most beautiful face and smile with the body and I was attracted.

Then a mate of mine will Only date girls around 100-140lbs and like 5ft tall.

Every guy is different like I love some Latino and Mexican girls they generally are born with curves lol they can be small but still very curvy just look at Selena Gomez!!!

My wife and I met when I was 200 lbs. At 9 years later at 260 lbs I got a sleeve. At a year after surgery and 130 lbs we separated.