My surgery was on 2/12. I have been taking time off from dating to focus on myself. I think it would be better to wait until I'm at least at my goal weight. I am concerned what kind of guys will be into me when I am skinny though. I haven't ever been small. The men who usually hit on me say they like curvy women... what if they don't like me when I am 148 lbs.

10 minutes ago, BrittneyH said:

My surgery was on 2/12. I have been taking time off from dating to focus on myself. I think it would be better to wait until I'm at least at my goal weight. I am concerned what kind of guys will be into me when I am skinny though. I haven't ever been small. The men who usually hit on me say they like curvy women... what if they don't like me when I am 148 lbs.

lol never heard this kinda concern . you will deffo hav your pick ,more options. can you explain your concern for simpletons . like me .. im enjoying datin now

Maybe I am worried that the men who will like me are dirt bags who only like skinny girls. At least now I am not concerned because I know they don't mine extra weight on me.

2 minutes ago, BrittneyH said:

Maybe I am worried that the men who will like me are dirt bags who only like skinny girls. At least now I am not concerned because I know they don't mine extra weight on me.

dirt bags like fat girls too. yeah there people who prefer smaller women which i dont mind

58 minutes ago, BrittneyH said:

My surgery was on 2/12. I have been taking time off from dating to focus on myself. I think it would be better to wait until I'm at least at my goal weight. I am concerned what kind of guys will be into me when I am skinny though. I haven't ever been small. The men who usually hit on me say they like curvy women... what if they don't like me when I am 148 lbs.

More important to find a good man that treats you well and likes you at whatever size you are. That size is going to change rapidly.

Something to think about.....

Will you be attracted to the same type of men? Will your preferences in men change as you lose weight? What type of men will you have things in common with once you are 148?

2 minutes ago, jenn1 said:

More important to find a good man that treats you well and likes you at any size.

Something to think about.....

Will you be attracted to the same type of men? Will your preferences in men change as you lose weight? What type of men will you have things in common with once you are 148?

I dont like people at any size. That doesn't mean im not a good person. someone 400lbs is not what I am attracted too sexually or any other way , i am still a good person and treat everyone well just not my type the whole " find someone who would like you at any size makes me laugh , we all have a certain thing that may attract us even if we are open to all people. some men like all sizes sure, but their is nothing wrong with a man that prefers a 130 over 250 or the other way , people think a guy who liks 250 girl is some how less shallow but people dont realise that alot of the time its jut were his sexual attraction lies, which is no harm but swap it round to i prefer slim girls and people get called shallow but its okay if people prefer fat girls lol

but your right since being not super obese my standards are higher and the men who are attracted to me are slim work out etc, its not something im used too. slimmer women had always been attracted to me at any size how ever which is interesting.

I have always liked skinny guys but don't mind some meat either. I didn't think about if my taste will change! I can't imagine it would. I hope my confidence will tho! Right now I just assume I am a certain type, like I will only look good with guys my size.

Just now, BrittneyH said:

I have always liked skinny guys but don't mind some meat either. I didn't think about if my taste will change! I can't imagine it would. I hope my confidence will tho! Right now I just assume I am a certain type, like I will only look good with guys my size.

Just you wait girl, its amazing and overwhelming the amount of attention that happens ( well from my experience) dont worry too much what will happen will happen just continue with openmindedness

I get hit on online easily but rarely if ever in person. Maybe I don't notice. IDK. I am hoping when I loose the weight I will at least notice it... because I know I am not ugly.

3 minutes ago, dreamingsmall said:

I dont like people at any size. That doesn't mean im not a good person. someone 400lbs is not what I am attracted too sexually or any other way , i am still a good person and treat everyone well just not my type the whole " find someone who would like you at any size makes me laugh , we all have a certain thing that may attract us even if we are open to all people. some men like all sizes sure, but their is nothing wrong with a man that prefers a 130 over 250 or the other way , people think a guy who liks 250 girl is some how less shallow but people dont realise that alot of the time its jut were his sexual attraction lies, which is no harm but swap it round to i prefer slim girls and people get called shallow but its okay if people prefer fat girls lol

but your right since being not super obese my standards are higher and the men who are attracted to me are slim work out etc, its not something im used too. slimmer women had always been attracted to me at any size how ever which is interesting.

You said That doesn't mean i'm not a good person *laughing* WTF??? Never said you were not a good person...?????

You said "find someone who would like you at any size makes me laugh." I can rephrase it if this helps - " find someone who is attracted to " whatever size you currently are" Because that size is going to change rapidly.

I'm confused. How did being shallow have anything to do with this. *laughing*

We are attracted to who we are attracted to.

2 minutes ago, jenn1 said:

You said That doesn't mean i'm not a good person *laughing* WTF??? Never said you were not a good person...?????

You said "find someone who would like you at any size makes me laugh." I can rephrase it if this helps - " find someone who is attracted to " whatever size you currently are" Because that size is going to change rapidly.

I'm confused. How did being shallow have anything to do with this. *laughing*

We are attracted to who we are attracted to.

Whatever size you currently are, isn't the same as loves you at any size lol. i mis understood what you meant . Apologies.

This is a bizarre question to me.

I really don't understand superficiality. I don't consider other people to be meat. Or sex puppets. That's the most simplistic silly view I can imagine, and I wouldn't want to live a life so limited.

The most attraction I've ever felt for people in my life has been based on their minds, their creativity, their passion, their confidence, their sex appeal, their kindness, humor, decency.

I can find about anyone incredibly attractive. Seriously. Physicality is insanely diverse. If you're limiting yourself to any particular type, you're missing out.

I can find about anyone incredibly appealing. IF their mind is outstanding, if their ability to express themselves is immaculate, if we have commonality and trust.

Finding someone with an amazing mind is so much harder than finding someone with an amazing body. Amazing bodies are a dime a dozen.

So much of our perception of what's attractive...is informed by the people we are most impressed by and feel love and trust for.

Edited February 28, 20188 yr by Creekimp13

1 minute ago, Creekimp13 said:

This is a bizarre question to me.

I really don't understand superficiality. I don't consider other people meat. Or sex puppets. That's the most simplistic silly view I can imagine, and I wouldn't want to live a life so limited.

The most attraction I've ever felt for people in my life has been based on their minds, their creativity, their passion, their confidence, their sex appeal, their kindness, humor, decency.

I can find about anyone incredibly attractive. Seriously. Physicality is insanely diverse. If you're limiting yourself to any particular type, you're missing out.

I can find about anyone incredibly appealing. IF their mind is outstanding, if their ability to express themselves is immaculate, if we have commonality and trust.

Finding someone with an amazing mind is so much harder than finding someone with an amazing body. Amazing bodies are a dime a dozen.

So much of our perception of what's attractive...is informed by the people we are most impressed by and feel love and trust for.

Love this!

Just now, Creekimp13 said:

This is a bizarre question to me.

I really don't understand superficiality. I don't consider other people meat. Or sex puppets. That's the most simplistic silly view I can imagine, and I wouldn't want to live a life so limited.

The most attraction I've ever felt for people in my life has been based on their minds, their creativity, their passion, their confidence, their sex appeal, their kindness, humor, decency.

I can find about anyone incredibly attractive. Seriously. Physicality is insanely diverse. If you're limiting yourself to any particular type, you're missing out.

I can find about anyone incredibly appealing. IF their mind is outstanding, if their ability to express themselves is immaculate, if we have commonality and trust.

Finding someone with an amazing mind is so much harder than finding someone with an amazing body. Amazing bodies are a dime a dozen.

So much of our perception of what's attractive...is informed by the people we are most impressed by and feel love and trust for.

See, I am similar to you but i just know sexual attractiveness i have my limits, please dont be offended all that in mind can you be sexually attracted to someone who is 500lbs? i am only curious, I consider my self demisexual so i am not sexually atraccted till i know more about someone their mind, their life etc, i need more, but i just know i have my limits. I accept it could be making me lose out on a 500lb man/woman of a life time. I am willing to take that risk. the same way people dont date people with any kind of disability as it is not attractive to them. Im pretty cool lol they are missing out but i dont mind lol

I was married when i was 20. I am divorced now( way before surgery, and i admit I may just want to experience some amazing sex with someone hot for the moment lol not one night stand as in in a relationship , i cant say i was that sexually attracted to my husband , sometimes personality is not enough

Attraction is a weird animal, it can be started by eye contact, a sly smile, the voice, the rear view, rogue haircut...etc The initial impression can then be reinforced or completely spoiled by behavior or personality or lack of education. (Also bad kisser)

A person has to be well groomed, and in my experience a lot of obese people lack self esteem and as a consequence neglect themselves, not all, but a great many. No hairstyle, sloppy clothes, not smiling, not making eye contact, slouching, etc. (I also see normal weight people disheveled as well, but percentages are higher in the overweight category)

In my past, I have only had a couple flirting/dating occasions with obese men (not morbid, just obese) but they had on suits or stylish clothes, polished shoes, smelled devine, smiled, could hold a conversation beyond the weather, and were polite. I would not have eliminated them based on being obese.

My husband of 20 years is normal weight, is an amazing man - but did not have the looks that normally attract me - (dark hair, dark eyes, grinning, witty-chatter-tight-jean-wearing dude) - BUT he is super intelligent, blond (ish), responsible, respectful, loves to dance, loves music, reads, and the best kisser....and at times still surprising. And loves me entirely for me - that is key, as we all know you cannot fall in love with just part of a person - and you cannot change anyone.