Hello everyone,

I'm having such a hard time deciding what I want to do. I am 318lbs and 5'5, but I don't hate my body. I have sore knees and I get out of breath a lot, but I don't hate my fat. So on one site I want to have surgery to feel better and help my fatty liver, but on the other side, I've been on diets my whole life, I question if this is right for me. Has anyone regretted their surgery? Is it possible to be happy, healthy, and fat? Where does body positivity fit into this? I need to hear what others think on this.

Thank you

At 32 years old, I was 5'7 and 305lbs. No serious health problems. My blood pressure was borderline high, but no other issues. I was married, with children, and liked myself. No self-esteem issues.

By time I was 38, my blood sugars were inching up into the prediabetic range. My blood pressure shot through the roof, and I went on a blood pressure medicine. Walking up a steep hill had me vomiting at the top. Stairs had me seeing stars. I woke up one day, and just KNEW I needed surgery for my weight. (I have no idea where the idea came from because I hadn't heard of bariatric surgery for 20 years.. I just woke up with the idea.. weird!).

I had surgery 8 months ago, self pay in Mexico, and have lost 105lbs. My blood pressure is down and I no longer need meds, I think my blood sugars are back to normal (I have a checkup this week, so will find out more). I can jog up a few steps, without issue, and the hill is no longer a major challenge.

And here's the thing. I wasn't exercising before the surgery, and I haven't started yet, after. All of these benefits are JUST from losing the weight from surgery and by controlling my diet. That's it! Most patients start an exercise program right off the bat, but I didn't. One day I will, but at least I am a clean example of what surgery and caloric restriction can accomplish, even without exercise.

With your knees in that condition, exercise for you should be in the swimming pool. This may be easy, or challenging, depending on your location/circumstances.

For me, living in a too-large body interfered with a normal life in several ways. I couldn't fit in a plane seat (no honeymoon in Hawaii!), and waiting room chairs were always tight. Sex wasn't interesting or fun. I couldn't cross my legs, and tying shoes was a chore. Shaving my legs was a joke, and pubic hair maintenance? Can't maintain what you can't reach or see. Family reunions were a source of embarrassment (family isn't heavy), and even the thought of entering the workforce was a concern because standing on my feet for 8 hours was unimaginable. (I've been a stay at home Mom since 2008, but getting out of the house would be good.. emotionally and financially). Avoidance of pictures since my visage had become bloated and unrecognizable.

That last makes it sound like there were self esteem issues, and by time I was 38, these issues HAD cropped up (more than there had been at 32).

Now, ALL of these issues are better. Sex would be better if I exercised. I haven't started working yet, but now I feel confident that I'll be ABLE to. Looking in the mirror is like seeing an old friend.

I didn't know how heavy the burden of obesity was, until the weight was lifted. I'm still 30-40lbs from goal, and I look forward to feeling better and better.

@Berry78 Wow! Very powerful and honest account! I'm so thrilled for the changes brought by this surgery for you and want to tell you, that you really help me and inspire me daily! Thank you!

I have been obese as an adult for 40 years, and that's a long time. I could lose weight but keeping it off was a huge issue. I am fairly active, I square dance, raise 2 grand kids, and live in a tri-level house. I am self conscious about my size AND grateful my body has held me up, delivered my kids and kept me going. It would be easier at a lower weight. I want to be able to do things that excess weight will not allow. I can dress up and look great, but all that is not going to allow me to get up off the floor without struggling and holding onto something while looking ridiculous as well.

I wish this surgery had been an option a long time ago, I looked into the lap-band 10 years ago and it wasn't for me. A couple of friends my age died early this year and I had the 'man, life is just too short' and it's time to 'fish or cut bait' moments. And here I am 5 weeks after the sleeve and so so happy with it.

I am not hungry, nor desiring food. I get an 'empty' stomach feeling when I need to eat, but that's a physical need and not an addicted thing. Food tastes good but I don't eat something and say - I want the whole thing and keep going. I get satisfied and quit. It's very weird sometimes.

Fear can hold you back and play the weirdest mind games. I would examine those motives closely and get honest. Good luck.

I went back & forth about it for about 10 years. During that time, I kept trying to lose weight on my own. I'd lose 30-50 lbs, hit a brick wall, and gain it back. I realized at some point that if I didn't get the weight off, I wasn't going to live a full life, so I bit the bullet and had the surgery. One of the best decisions I ever made. Should have done it years ago.

I have had 2 knee replacements due to wearing out with my weight. Don't want the,hips to be next plus I'm tired of being slow moving and out of breath. And the,list goes on but soon I'll turn my life around with the help of surgery. If an old chick like me can do this journey you young'end should be a cinch. Happy New Year and much success everyone.

Sent from my VS880PP using BariatricPal mobile app

Even if you don't have weight related health issues now, chances are you will eventually. I made the decision to have surgery for health reasons. I am 37, and I have a heart condition. I wasn't doing myself any favors by carrying extra weight. It had nothing to do with my body image or my self-esteem. It was purely health related.

The truth is, you probably don't realize how bad you feel because you're used to being overweight (I don't mean that in a rude way - just being honest). I have lost a little over 80 lbs and I can't believe how much better I feel already. I have more energy, sleep better, think more clearly - it's amazing. I can't wait to see how I feel at goal!!

FWIW, I am over 50 and the weight does start to add health concerns over time. For me, its osteoarthritis in my knees and hips, severe sleep apnea, high BP, high CH. Add menopause, because it exacerbates weight gain. And I'm pre-pre-diabetic. So....consider going to a seminar and starting the process -- nobody says you have to have the surgery in the end, a fair number of people on this board drop out before they cross the finish line. As part of the process, my PCP and FOUR specialists think its a great idea for me. Best wishes to you!

Given your stats and your other health problems you should at least consider it. The fact that you're comfortable with yourself as is, is amazing but it's not always about looks. It's about health and feeling amazing which is why i chose to have mine. Plus i didn't want to deal with long term health issues down the road.

Most of us got to this point because we also struggled with diet. You'll go through your own journey and figure out what works for you.