On the Fence about Weight Loss Surgery

[MissLindseyR 110]

Hello everyone,

I'm having such a hard time deciding what I want to do. I am 318lbs and 5'5, but I don't hate my body. I have sore knees and I get out of breath a lot, but I don't hate my fat. So on one site I want to have surgery to feel better and help my fatty liver, but on the other side, I've been on diets my whole life, I question if this is right for me. Has anyone regretted their surgery? Is it possible to be happy, healthy, and fat? Where does body positivity fit into this? I need to hear what others think on this.

Thank you

[FluffyChix 17,409]

@MissLindseyR Not meaning any disrespect, but how old are you right now?

[Healthy_life2 8,319]

28 minutes ago, MissLindseyR said:

Hello everyone,

I have sore knees and I get out of breath a lot, but I don't hate my fat. So on one site I want to have surgery to feel better and help my fatty liver,

I'm having such a hard time deciding what I want to do. I am 318lbs and 5'5, but I don't hate my body. but on the other side, I've been on diets my whole life, I question if this is right for me. Has anyone regretted their surgery? Is it possible to be happy, healthy, and fat? Where does body positivity fit into this? I need to hear what others think on this.

Thank you

(1) You asked "Is it possible to be happy, healthy, and fat, Where does body positivity fit into this?"

You can absolutely live a happy life and not hate your body at a high weight. You can also be a healthy weight live a happy life and be not hate your body.

(2) You said " have sore knees and I get out of breath a lot I want to feel better and help my fatty liver" The surgery and weight loss will improve health and your quality of life.

(3) Has anyone regretted their surgery? You are going to find people with and without regrets that have had any type of surgery.

I am three years out happy and no regrets.

Here's the thing... You don't need anyone's approval or permission of any decisions in life. The only one that has to be happy with your decision and outcome is you.

[MissLindseyR 110]

[mention=329408]MissLindseyR[/mention] Not meaning any disrespect, but how old are you right now?

32 as of today.

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[MissLindseyR 110]

(1) You asked "Is it possible to be happy, healthy, and fat, Where does body positivity fit into this?"
You can absolutely live a happy life and not hate your body at a high weight. You can also be a healthy weight live a happy life and be not hate your body.
(2) You said " have sore knees and I get out of breath a lot I want to feel better and help my fatty liver" The surgery and weight loss will improve health and your quality of life.
(3) Has anyone regretted their surgery? You are going to find people with and without regrets that have had any type of surgery.
I am three years out happy and no regrets.
Here's the thing... You don't need anyone's approval or permission of any decisions in life. The only one that has to be happy with your decision and outcome is you.

It is my decision, I just want to make sure I make the right one.

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[Healthy_life2 8,319]

5 minutes ago, MissLindseyR said:

It is my decision, I just want to make sure I make the right one.

Sent from my SM-G935V using BariatricPal mobile app

Try looking into your bariatric program for your area. Many give information meeting. It's good to research all the options.

[Ed watters 11]

I also had my doubts, but I can tell you that 7 weeks ago I had an RNY and I am so happy I did it. I did for myself and my family. I want to see my granddaughters graduate. I want to spend another 35 years with my wife. I have a lot of amazing things left to do.

It is your decision alone. Just ask yourself why you want to do it. Your health will improve dramatically, your energy level will be through the roof. It's about a lot of things not just physical appearance. I wish you good luck in making your decision.

[KarenOR 180]

Only your decision matters. If you love your body, more power to you! There are plenty of thin and "average" sized people who hate theirs. You are still pretty young to have a lot of the weight related health problems, but they are probably coming. I am 50 and two months out. I had surgery before I was diabetic, but it seems that's pretty rare, at least around here. I yo-yoed for probably 40 years. I just couldn't do it any more looking forward at how hard it was to keep it off.

[shedo82773 1,236]

Hi KarenOR How are you? I also live in Oregon. In fact, I live in Roseburg. I don't see many people from Oregon on here. Just a case of the nosiness. LOl

[KimTriesRNY 1,853]

You may consider looking into if your area has a bariatric support group. Sometimes programs have monthly meetings where you can go and speak to people that are in all stages of the operative phase....considering it, fulfilling insurance requirements, post op, maintenance. It’s a great way to talk in person with a mix of people in each stage of their journey. Our group is led by the bariatric program coordinator. You may have something similar near you.

Good luck no matter what you decide!

[FluffyChix 17,409]

Happy Birthday!!!

I love what everyone has said. Great advice! You know, we're ready when we're ready. Each has a different time line. I have 23 years on you, and I can tell you that's it's fairly rare to carry the weight we do while still feeling good. It became impossible for me. I was out of breath just wiping my bum or taking a shower! I had to rest in my recliner for at least an hour before going on to my next task.

I'm thrilled you have a positive body image. That will only help you even further as you take life's journey. But I truly don't believe it's possible to be happy, healthy and severely morbidly obese. At 318lbs and at my highest 325lbs, that is the category we fall into. To think anything less would be absurd. At 32 your knees already hurt and you are short of breath. Just wait another 23 years until you have spondylosis and arthritis in your hips and SI joints as well as in your neck and shoulders.

There are new studies out that show better long term health benefits the earlier the intervention. But conversely, all the surgeries on our guts will not keep us from regaining if our head isn't ready and in the game. You honestly have to be "all-in" for surgery to work--in my opinion. It took me 2 years to get ready mentally and emotionally. During that time, I researched like cra-cra.

Hope you find your certainty!!! ((hugs))

[Creekimp13 5,838]

Not everyone who has weight loss surgery has a bad body image. I don't mind how I look at all. My hubby thinks I'm gorgeous and I feel pretty damned secure.

It's not vanity with me at all, and it's not about body image.

My decision is based mostly on two things... My blood sugar creeping up to pre-diabetic numbers, and the arthritis in my back hurting so awful it was getting hard to be on my feet for more than 30 minutes.

My weight had been stable for two decades at about 240-250. I didn't mind being a fat person. I had good energy, my labs weren't bad, etc...

But then, I hit perimenopause and my weight went nuts. I gained 20 pounds in two years. My back got severely worse, my fitness suffered because of it, and the sugar started creeping up. I started getting edema in my legs and I could feel my health losing the battle. Something had to give, it was time to take action.

Not every fat person loses the battle for stable health. But in reality most do. Being fat increases your chances for cancer exponentially. Blood pressure and stroke risk. Diabetes risk. Debilitating arthritis risk.

I wanted to just be fat and enjoy my life.....but it eventually caught me.

I'm going through the surgery at 46. I wish I'd done it at 32.

As previous posters have said...your choices are your own. You don't have to justify them to anyone. Best wishes, whatever you decide.

[dreamingsmall 1,125]

Hello everyone,

I'm having such a hard time deciding what I want to do. I am 318lbs and 5'5, but I don't hate my body. I have sore knees and I get out of breath a lot, but I don't hate my fat. So on one site I want to have surgery to feel better and help my fatty liver, but on the other side, I've been on diets my whole life, I question if this is right for me. Has anyone regretted their surgery? Is it possible to be happy, healthy, and fat? Where does body positivity fit into this? I need to hear what others think on this.

Thank you

Is it possible to be healthy and 300 lbs on your little frame ? Your risks are increased you know that. Your health is at risk . You might be healthy now but we all have reduced our life expectancy by being fat. If your okay with that don't have the surgery and live your life. I decided to make the change at 244lbs because for me. I have two kids and my risks of illness was getting worse and worse. What you do is upto you . Not everyone feels ugly and fat to have this surgery it's about better health but it's an amazing bonus to start looking cute while getting healthy. Good luck.

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[dreamingsmall 1,125]

In terms of body positivity. How is it positive what we have done to our body to get so over weight ? I say we because I put all kinds of **** in my mouth. To me body positivity is about looking after our body and taking the steps to make it the best it can be. Body positivity isn't just about "yes this is my body and I love it " I love my body. So for me. This surgery showed my body love and I'm working from the inside out. You already have bad knees and out of breath at 32. Your so young. To me that isn't showing your body love. Your poor knees doesn't feel loved carrying all that weight. Neither did my back. 20 years from now you may struggle more. But this is just my opinion. You know what's best for you but consider the whole picture.

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[MissLindseyR 110]

8 hours ago, FluffyChix said:

Happy Birthday!!!

I love what everyone has said. Great advice! You know, we're ready when we're ready. Each has a different time line. I have 23 years on you, and I can tell you that's it's fairly rare to carry the weight we do while still feeling good. It became impossible for me. I was out of breath just wiping my bum or taking a shower! I had to rest in my recliner for at least an hour before going on to my next task.

I'm thrilled you have a positive body image. That will only help you even further as you take life's journey. But I truly don't believe it's possible to be happy, healthy and severely morbidly obese. At 318lbs and at my highest 325lbs, that is the category we fall into. To think anything less would be absurd. At 32 your knees already hurt and you are short of breath. Just wait another 23 years until you have spondylosis and arthritis in your hips and SI joints as well as in your neck and shoulders.

There are new studies out that show better long term health benefits the earlier the intervention. But conversely, all the surgeries on our guts will not keep us from regaining if our head isn't ready and in the game. You honestly have to be "all-in" for surgery to work--in my opinion. It took me 2 years to get ready mentally and emotionally. During that time, I researched like cra-cra.

Hope you find your certainty!!! ((hugs))

Thank you!

I hadn't thought of the future and how this weight might hinder me. It is true, if I am already having horrible knee pain, it will only get worse. And I have a 19 month old. I'm still in the early stages of my journey. I think I will look into the groups within my program and see about attending. I do this often where I get my head on something then change my mind about 3 weeks in. But I need to get past that road block and actually do this for myself and my family.