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Hey you guys, THANKS SO MUCH for all the prayers and support. Yes, I do take on a lot of guilt and try to overcompensate.

And, 2bemeagain, you ask if I want my marriage to work? That is a hard one. At one point I would have said definitely yes, and at another point I would have said definitely no.

A lot of our problems started with a lack of communication and got to a point where when we would go out to eat we would be like strangers, not saying a word. It would be so quiet it was uncomfortable.

Also, I am to blame (not putting guilt on myself, this time is the truth) for some of the personal problems as well, not wanting to get into specifics.

But, we reached a point where we had totally lost everything we ever had. We also got to a point where there was nothing physical between us. I feel like I am still young (47) and not ready to give up on a physical relationship. He apparently is not interested in it and would not even discuss it with me. All those things rolled together had me at the end of my rope, and so I gave him back his wedding ring and told him I wanted a divorce, but like I stated, neither one of us can afford to move out or file for the divorce. He also needs insurance (that my job provides for free) so we stay married and miserable.

But, I am doing MUCH better today. Feel very encouraged by all the kind words and support. I LOVE YOU GUYS.

thanks so much.

candy,

We all love you too! Hang in there! God cannot fail!

Still in my prayers...Hugs.

~M

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I was touched by the post about little Brian's nighttime prayers. It's so important to teach our little ones to pray. Our three youngest grandchildren love to say prayers and often fight over who is going to say grace! And if Johannah, who turned 6 this week, wins, you know your food is going to get cold before we can eat!! LOL

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thanks. I appreciate it. It's really nice to know I have people that are concerned about me. I don't feel so alone. That is sometimes the worst feeling, to feel alone.

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Oh wow - I've been gone for two days and look at this!! I've cried and laughed catching up on this thread!!

candy - my prayers are with you as you go through this time. My marriage was almost over 7 years ago and then my husband became a Christian. God is so good and now I thank God every day for the man He has given me. 7 years ago I couldn't get rid of him fast enough lol. I know God can work through any situation - I pray God's blessing on you, your marriage and that you receive God's wisdom during this time.

Ghost - such a sweet story. I'm a sap and cry at EVERYthing! So touching :( I love the ideas you have already received on how to deal with your nighttime prayers. Is it working?? I wish mine were small again (14 yr boy, 10 yr girl).

Hugs & prayers!

wombat (Geneva) <><

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As we have a rash of cute kiddie stories, I may as well pass this short one on. Couple of weeks ago, my 5 yr old daughter was in the car w/me. I looked back at her and asked if she knew how much I loved her. She responded with, "Even more than the Dallas Cowboys" just as I've told each day of her life. (FYI, I LOVE the Dallas Cowboys. Even have the Star tattoo'ed on my forearm with "There is Only One Star" written below it). Then, I told her she and mommy were the most important people in my life. She retorted with, "You're forgetting someone". I knew who she was talking about, but asked who she meant. She immediately replied "JESUS!". Makes a daddy proud.:(

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LOL, too cute, Ceradad. They are so innocent and full of life. Such words of wisdom. I'm honored to know parents that are still teaching their lil ones about our saviour. God gave them to us to protect ,teach and love them, that's why I cringed every time I read, see or hear about someone mistreating them. I read a car bumper once that said "Warning, precious cargo on board" , they had a child in the back seat. Don't you know when we come to him (God) innocent as a child and full of love, just plain old humble and praising him for just being WHO he is, his heart melts just like everyone of us does when our child/ren, neices/nephews or grandchildren come to us giving us praises.

Okay, sorry to chatty so much,I got caught up in the moment, but I do love to visit here.

To God be the Glory!!!!!!!!!!!!:(

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LOL, too cute, Ceradad. They are so innocent and full of life. Such words of wisdom. I'm honored to know parents that are still teaching their lil ones about our saviour. God gave them to us to protect ,teach and love them, that's why I cringed every time I read, see or hear about someone mistreating them. I read a car bumper once that said "Warning, precious cargo on board" , they had a child in the back seat. Don't you know when we come to him (God) innocent as a child and full of love, just plain old humble and praising him for just being WHO he is, his heart melts just like everyone of us does when our child/ren, neices/nephews or grandchildren come to us giving us praises.

Okay, sorry to chatty so much,I got caught up in the moment, but I do love to visit here.

To God be the Glory!!!!!!!!!!!!:(

Thanks for the kind words. My DW and I truly believe we are doubly blessed with Cera. We went through 7 yrs of infertility, 4 before we started the adoption process. After spending over 2 yrs in "the book" at the adoption agency w/o any birthmothers wanting to even talk to us, we had pretty much given up all hope. I still remember to this day standing in front of the bathroom mirror before bed and thinking I could stay up to lift weights during the week, but on Sunday mornings I couldn't stay up to go to church. Too tired. (I worked midnight to 8 am Sun-Thur back then.) I told myself I had to make sure we went to church on a regular basis and become more involved in our church.

Not even 2 wks later, we got a call from the adoption agency that a birthmother wanted to talk to us and we were the only ones she wanted to talk to. We met the following week and got a call 20 minutes after we left the meeting she had chosen us for her baby. Met a week later to discuss the birthing plans and she gave birth the following Saturday. Less than 2 wks, we went from no hope to being parents.:rose: 4 wks after my decision.

Some call that a coincidence. I call it God working a miracle for us. No doubt in my mind that God was waiting for dw and I to get our lives right with Him. So, I believe that I owe it to God to raise her properly. She loves Sunday school and church. Every year, our church does a food drop for needy families in our area. She helps out with the delivering of the boxes with me every year we've done it. I can honestly say, we have done our part so far bringing her up right.

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Thanks for the kind words. My DW and I truly believe we are doubly blessed with Cera. We went through 7 yrs of infertility, 4 before we started the adoption process. After spending over 2 yrs in "the book" at the adoption agency w/o any birthmothers wanting to even talk to us, we had pretty much given up all hope. I still remember to this day standing in front of the bathroom mirror before bed and thinking I could stay up to lift weights during the week, but on Sunday mornings I couldn't stay up to go to church. Too tired. (I worked midnight to 8 am Sun-Thur back then.) I told myself I had to make sure we went to church on a regular basis and become more involved in our church.

Not even 2 wks later, we got a call from the adoption agency that a birthmother wanted to talk to us and we were the only ones she wanted to talk to. We met the following week and got a call 20 minutes after we left the meeting she had chosen us for her baby. Met a week later to discuss the birthing plans and she gave birth the following Saturday. Less than 2 wks, we went from no hope to being parents.:lol: 4 wks after my decision.

Some call that a coincidence. I call it God working a miracle for us. No doubt in my mind that God was waiting for dw and I to get our lives right with Him. So, I believe that I owe it to God to raise her properly. She loves Sunday school and church. Every year, our church does a food drop for needy families in our area. She helps out with the delivering of the boxes with me every year we've done it. I can honestly say, we have done our part so far bringing her up right.

That's a wonderful story! God is faithful. Our youngest daughter went through many years of infertility treatments also. Then two failed adoptions... first one, the mother changed her mind the night before they were supposed to take the baby home because she decided she lived too close to where they lived. Second one, they had the baby home for several days when the mom (16 yr old with a seizure disorder) persuaded her parents to let her keep her baby. That was a real heartbreaker. The next month... back to the fertility specialist. My daughter said they would give it three more months and then go back to the adoption efforts. (they had one of those books with their life story and pictures, etc. at their adoption agency). The third month... she got pregnant. That was Johannah. With no further treatments, 16 months later, Charly, and two years after that, Thomas! We are Snowbirds, so we haven't seen them since Oct. Thomas wasn't talking much yet when we left. Nothing intelligible anyway! But yesterday on the phone we heard, "Hi, Grandma! Hi, Grandpa!" The most beautiful words in the world!!

Well, I better stop my Grandma rambling. I still get choked up telling this story!! God is good!!

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That's a wonderful story! God is faithful. Our youngest daughter went through many years of infertility treatments also. Then two failed adoptions... first one, the mother changed her mind the night before they were supposed to take the baby home because she decided she lived too close to where they lived. Second one, they had the baby home for several days when the mom (16 yr old with a seizure disorder) persuaded her parents to let her keep her baby. That was a real heartbreaker. The next month... back to the fertility specialist. My daughter said they would give it three more months and then go back to the adoption efforts. (they had one of those books with their life story and pictures, etc. at their adoption agency). The third month... she got pregnant. That was Johannah. With no further treatments, 16 months later, Charly, and two years after that, Thomas! We are Snowbirds, so we haven't seen them since Oct. Thomas wasn't talking much yet when we left. Nothing intelligible anyway! But yesterday on the phone we heard, "Hi, Grandma! Hi, Grandpa!" The most beautiful words in the world!!

Well, I better stop my Grandma rambling. I still get choked up telling this story!! God is good!!

Phyllser-great story. So glad it worked out for your daughter and her husband. I love to hear stories about people that beat the odds. DW and I are starting up the adoption process again, slowly. We know God will give us another child if it is meant to be. Otherwise, we're blessed with Cera and couldn't be prouder.

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:lol:Good morning all my Brothers and Sisters, Its very cold in Illinois today and think it will be all week-end. I am in need of your thoughts and prayers this week. I have surg. on Friday January 25 at 12.00 noon,I'm nervous, worried, scared, excited all at the same time, I just need to know there are those out there that will really be with me at that time, I have a friend at work who I can always rely on, She will take a few min at 12:00 and think of me. I havent' told anyone else at work, and they aren't into the praying quite like she and I . I thank you all, Good Bless each and everyone of us through out this Journey, that it may be uneventful, In Christian Love and Respect, Thor..Becky Just BELIEVE!!!!

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