My Dad is hard hitting me not to have this surgery. I am 46, BMI 40, Arthritis in both knees and obviously no long-term ability to keep it off.

He is gathering stats and posting them to me in emails.

Here is an excerpt below, what do you think of his stats?

"I have never seen so much distortions and obscurations pertaining to anything as is done in bariatric surgery.

I thought knee replacement was bad with all the hype but nothing like this!!

There are hundreds of "authoritative" articles on the subject, almost all of which are blatantly designed to appeal to your emotions.

Half the forums are a joke mixed with truthful questions and experiences and often salted with carefully spin doctor messages.

The most complete reporting that I have found with only moderate spin is: www.obesitycoverage.com " Gastric By Pass vs. Gastric Sleeve Surgery."

I feel that you doing this surgery could be without a doubt the worst decision in your life.

You've got to know the probable consequences and they are not good.

Colette, this is one of those times that even if you feel that the probability of serious occurrences occurring is low...you still just do not do it..... You just don't do it because if any of the serious consequences do occur, they are so unalterably life changing negative that you can not risk it no matter what because it will be forever.

I don't get where you say the odds are in your favor? They are not.

Yes, I understand that the death rate is low, (which I am thankful for), but to have some complications are almost guaranteed. You have got to know that by now.

Read the article.

Even if you ignore the 60% to 70% probability of indigestion, nausea and dehydration, the percentage of occurrence of mild to severe complications is a huge collective 88.9% !!!

GERD 47%

Nutritional deficiency 12%

Gallstones 23%

Acute Stricture 3.5%

Deep Vein Thrombosis 1%

Staple line failure 2.4%

Total: 88.9%

Please don't go through with this. We can figure something else out. You do have options. Dad"

My Dad is hard hitting me not to have this surgery. I am 46, BMI 40, Arthritis in both knees and obviously no long-term ability to keep it off.

He is gathering stats and posting them to me in emails.

Here is an excerpt below, what do you think of his stats?

"I have never seen so much distortions and obscurations pertaining to anything as is done in bariatric surgery.

I thought knee replacement was bad with all the hype but nothing like this!!

There are hundreds of "authoritative" articles on the subject, almost all of which are blatantly designed to appeal to your emotions.

Half the forums are a joke mixed with truthful questions and experiences and often salted with carefully spin doctor messages.

The most complete reporting that I have found with only moderate spin is: www.obesitycoverage.com " Gastric By Pass vs. Gastric Sleeve Surgery."

I feel that you doing this surgery could be without a doubt the worst decision in your life.

You've got to know the probable consequences and they are not good.

Colette, this is one of those times that even if you feel that the probability of serious occurrences occurring is low...you still just do not do it..... You just don't do it because if any of the serious consequences do occur, they are so unalterably life changing negative that you can not risk it no matter what because it will be forever.

I don't get where you say the odds are in your favor? They are not.

Yes, I understand that the death rate is low, (which I am thankful for), but to have some complications are almost guaranteed. You have got to know that by now.

Read the article.

Even if you ignore the 60% to 70% probability of indigestion, nausea and dehydration, the percentage of occurrence of mild to severe complications is a huge collective 88.9% !!!

GERD 47%

Nutritional deficiency 12%

Gallstones 23%

Acute Stricture 3.5%

Deep Vein Thrombosis 1%

Staple line failure 2.4%

Total: 88.9%

Please don't go through with this. We can figure something else out. You do have options. Dad"

The fact there's a few people who said this was a bad idea because it wouldn't last. I told them flat out that if I get 4 - 5 years of normalcy then it will be well worth the time. That's four or five years I won't have if I do nothing or change nothing and if it was so easy I would have done it a long time ago.

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I had surgery...sleeve and honestly i dont have many complications but i feel miserable. Yes im loosing weight but doing it natural is best. Regardless this surgery is 90% head games. Unfortunately its the worst desicion i made cause im miserable and tierd all the time...pls maybe pray on it. As for me I already did it...so I have to just make the best put of it and thank the Lord that Im ok

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@@Anna Nim, I like that your father still worries about you. If, as one might guess, he is a retiree, he seeks opportunities to occupy himself. Surgery, a new occupation, is ideal for him. Give him a kiss and don't worry about him on this.

I have to agree with the others... compare those statistics to your current risk for stroke, heart attack, and diabetes... I have 5 friends/family plus myself who have had the surgery ranging from 7 months ago to 9 years ago and we all agree it's the best decision we've ever made.

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Well my dear here is another statistic that's scary.... you and I may very well be sisters because my father is the same way about me having surgery.

I love him dearly and I know it's all out of concern but he had heard of other people who have had complications and he made me (yes I'm 40 but with good daddy's you're always respectful and any age) but he had me interview them and I got this....

Two women had hernia issues, one cousin he had gallbladder issues, another lady bypassed the bypass (she gained the weight back) my PCP who honestly said she knows nothing about WLS explained that she feels that I am not big enough (BMI 40) I get that a lot and what I do is I thank people and explain to them how I truly just pack my weight in spanxs well. lol and I do!! My cousin's wedding was beautiful. My maid of honor dress was gorgeous. But I was in pain the entire time!!!

But after I reported back to my father that they all agreed they would do it all over again if they needed to he backed off. Lol I even talked to my pastor who was supportive.

People tend to think that we have other options and yes, maybe we do, but when you are in constant pain and in too much pain to do anything about it? This surgery is the best and safest way for us to maintain and work out.

This is by no means the "short cut" for me this is just getting started. I have had fibromyalgia for 4 years. The weight does not help the fatigue, slap apnea, new or old joint pain.

The bottom line is that it is our bodies and we have to make the choice on if we want to live or exist? I'm doing my surgery Feb 1st 2017 because I choose to live!!

Well....and brag on social media how I kept my new year resolution and lost 100 lbs!! Lol keep us all posted.

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I am 10 weeks out. And not a single thing wrong. I am so greatful I had this surgery. My mom was the same way as your dad. I am now off all of my meds except synthroid but even that went from 150 down to 100. Good luck!

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I am 10 weeks out. And not a single thing wrong. I am so greatful I had this surgery. My mom was the same way as your dad. I am now off all of my meds except synthroid but even that went from 150 down to 100. Good luck!

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But you're only 10 weeks and not single thing wrong YET! By week 16 you'll have polio, gout, and a touch of bird flu.

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Your dad needs to go to the Community College and take a basic statistics class.

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I'm 13 yrs out and if I could go back I wouldn't have done it. The malabsorbtion and other side effects are horrible to live the rest of your life with.

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I'm 13 yrs out and if I could go back I wouldn't have done it. The malabsorbtion and other side effects are horrible to live the rest of your life with.

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Do tell!

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My dad is 74 and also begged me not to do the surgery, especially in Mexico. 8 weeks oost op now, 49 yrs old, serious arthritis pain is controlled with tylenol, 82 lbs down total, 35 since surgery. I absolutely would do this again (sleeve). The first 3 to 4 weeks were tough, so was the preop phase, but is all worth it in the long run. I still have 70 to 80 lbs I need/want to lose, and I know with this tool/assistant I will keep it off. You have to work on healthy coping skills, i used to lean on alcohol more than I should, and you lose both food and wine as coping methods post op. Overall I'm so much healthier in a short period of time. Do this for you if you feel it's the right step, based on Your research, best wishes! Jeanette

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you are 40. this is your decision. I was sleeved September 9th. start weight 285. current 216. best decision I made.

I'm sorry, but my response is to ignore your dad and everyone except yourself and your doctor.

The surgery works, bottom line. Let me just debunk ONE of these so called stats...GERD. Part of the reason I got my sleeve was to get rid of GERD. You only get simple heartburn from the surgery and only if you overeat. Just like everyone else.

Please. Don't worry about the "stats". This was the best thing I've ever done. It's all about helping us with our food addiction. That is the part that the moms and dads and friends don't understand.

I wish you all the luck in the world.

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Go with Gastric Banding, Lap Band. It worked for me!

Tell him he's a meddling old fart and he needs to back to f$%k off.

Also, you need to grow some backbone, you're an adult.

Come on man, he is a 72 year old man who lives alone in fear and pain, we will all get there. He is over fretting, but he is my father-that is his job.

I have issue with his math and of course I am nervous. There ARE real risks.

As for my backbone, I can assure you, I most certainly have one. You have no idea.

Your father loves you and he is worried for your safety. That is not hard to understand. The hard part is getting past that. I think it is important for him to know that you have listened and considered his concerns. It is equally important that he know that this is your decision, not his.

Life is full of what ifs. I had two friends die from this surgery years ago, which was a major factor in my putting it off for so long. But, that was years ago, and both of them were in really bad shape pre-op. When your time is up, it is up. Your chances of dying from this are about the same as dying in a wreck on the highway. As for the other complications, yeah, they are there, but there are risks we incur every day just living our lives. You know all this already. Your father does too at some level, but he has to get past the fact that it is his little girl who is going to be in danger, and there is nothing he can do about it. That is hard on a Dad, and I write that as the father of three little girls. Although they are adults, married and with children of their own, they will always be my little girls.

Talk to him and put it to him this way if you haven't already. It might not help right away, but you will have done all you can to let him know you consider his fears for your safety important.