My Dad is hard hitting me not to have this surgery. I am 46, BMI 40, Arthritis in both knees and obviously no long-term ability to keep it off.

He is gathering stats and posting them to me in emails.

Here is an excerpt below, what do you think of his stats?

"I have never seen so much distortions and obscurations pertaining to anything as is done in bariatric surgery.

I thought knee replacement was bad with all the hype but nothing like this!!

There are hundreds of "authoritative" articles on the subject, almost all of which are blatantly designed to appeal to your emotions.

Half the forums are a joke mixed with truthful questions and experiences and often salted with carefully spin doctor messages.

The most complete reporting that I have found with only moderate spin is: www.obesitycoverage.com " Gastric By Pass vs. Gastric Sleeve Surgery."

I feel that you doing this surgery could be without a doubt the worst decision in your life.

You've got to know the probable consequences and they are not good.

Colette, this is one of those times that even if you feel that the probability of serious occurrences occurring is low...you still just do not do it..... You just don't do it because if any of the serious consequences do occur, they are so unalterably life changing negative that you can not risk it no matter what because it will be forever.

I don't get where you say the odds are in your favor? They are not.

Yes, I understand that the death rate is low, (which I am thankful for), but to have some complications are almost guaranteed. You have got to know that by now.

Read the article.

Even if you ignore the 60% to 70% probability of indigestion, nausea and dehydration, the percentage of occurrence of mild to severe complications is a huge collective 88.9% !!!

GERD 47%

Nutritional deficiency 12%

Gallstones 23%

Acute Stricture 3.5%

Deep Vein Thrombosis 1%

Staple line failure 2.4%

Total: 88.9%

Please don't go through with this. We can figure something else out. You do have options. Dad"

Ana Kim - I think you have to look at the sum of everyone's experiences, not just the few answering your post. There are several people that have successfully lived with RNY for more than 10 years. Check out "The World According to Eggface", "Miles to Go", "Bariatric Foodie" and "The Bariatric Girl" blogs. These are all long term RNYers who have been successful. This surgery requires a commitment to following the Vitamin regimen every single day for life. And to take the best bariatric formulated Vitamins out there - for example I take Nutrametrix vitamins and Calcium which are Isotonic, which means once mixed with Water they are like the liquids given in IVs and they are 95% absorbed. Normal vitamins found in stores are only 25% absorbed so you have to take 3-4x the amount.

If you are going to go the Mexico route I highly suggest you find a Bariatric Nutritionist in your area and consult with them on the vitamin and post-op eating regimen. That way you will know exactly what is necessary to remain healthy after surgery.

Malabsorbtion has a whole bunch of side effects in itself. Horrible gas, bloating, abdominal cramps and painting and foul BM. Not able to get anything except calories from food so you learn to eat great and you can't get the nutrition. Like superfoods such as kale and sweet potatoes. The Vitamins I take for the 4est of my life are fine but every once in awhile have to have Iron infusion and b12 and vit d extras because I get sick and blood work shows a huge lack in those. It's really hard to stay on top of and gets expensive. The dumping symptoms some times come out of the blue at the most inopportune times. That's another can of worms....

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Sorry you are having such a bad experience. Just making sure you realize this is a sleeve procedure post so malabsorption really isn't a problem.

Right on thanks.

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My dad could not be anymore against the idea of WLS - and I haven't even told him yet!

I was supposed to have surgery five years ago. I was nineteen, in college, financially dependent on my parents, on my dad's health insurance (through his own business, so he was footing the bill for all things medical related). I had talked to my mom about WLS, and she was 110% on board, but I was much, much closer with my mom then my dad. We decided, knowing my dad and how he is, that we wait until all the test were done, insurance approved surgery, and we had a date, before we were to tell my dad. And that blew up in my face. My dad flew off the handle. He demanded to meet with the surgeon, and I humored him, thinking it would help things. It didn't - my dad threatened the surgeon, and 48 hours before surgery, my dad pulled me from the health insurance.

My dad is a recovering addict. He struggled with narcotics and alcohol for most of my life. He is currently eight years clean and sober. My mom passed away almost four years ago, so her support is no longer there. I am twenty four now, I do not live at home, have my own insurance through my job, and am financially independent from my dad. I have gained almost 40 pounds since I was supposed to do this five years ago, and that's disheartening, especially since I have a friend who did it a month before I should have, and her progress is incredible!

Despite being an adult, and despite having the support of everyone else around me, I know my dad will freak out with the news that this is something I'm planning on doing again. And, despite everything, he's still my dad and I will tell him. It's a struggle though, and something that stresses me out to no end. I'm sorry your dad doesn't seem to be in your corner, but he does seem to be coming from a place of concern (even if his scare tactics are insensitive). We need to do this for us, not for our dads. We have researched, planned, and thought about the decision we are making, and it is not for them. I wish you peace with your decision, and that your dad can find peace with it also.

Everyone's already said everything possible to combat the (sorry!) craziness of your dad's e-mail/math skills.

I just want to respond to one thing he's said:

This surgery is the best decision I've ever made in my entire life. I'm sure MOST people who have had the surgery will agree! Don't let him scare you. This is life-changing in the most positive of ways!

Most of those complications are temporary (gerd--most people only have it for a month or two and take a medication for it) or fixable (gallstones are from losing weight not the surgery per se and they remove the gallbladder, strictures are fixable or you can live easily with one, one member here does and likes the extra restriction, nutritional deficiencies are often temporary and fixable when not).

What is the complication rate for remaining obese?

I had gerd so your dad would count me in those statistics. Three years out now and running marathons and the healthiest I have ever been in my life!

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@annanim, I understand that your father worries about you, we all want the best for our children, but the decision is yours and you have to decide what is best for you. I am almost 62 years old, have diabetes, BP, did the sleeve on 11/16. We all have our doubts and worries, but I look at the people who had the procedure 3-4 years already and the results are great. So read, think and decide. Do not forget, you are doing this for yourself, not for somebody.

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Your dad needs to go to the Community College and take a basic statistics class.

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Funny thing, is he is a retired mechanical engineer!

Then why.... nm.

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That's is if you get normalcy...... I am three months post op and pray to god everyday to feel better and am starting to regret having the surgery period..

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If you are going to go the Mexico route I highly suggest you find a Bariatric Nutritionist in your area and consult with them on the Vitamin and post-op eating regimen. That way you will know exactly what is necessary to remain healthy after surgery.

I am having the Sleeve here in the US and have been given I think a good amount of nut info. Wed is the day! Thanks!

That's is if you get normalcy...... I am three months post op and pray to god everyday to feel better and am starting to regret having the surgery period..

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What is going on?

One thing I KNOW that all of us need and none of us get enough of is Magnesium. Depression, energy, heart issues..all helped by it. I take a lot of it, like 200% of daily value. The Magnesium Miracle (book) is helpful in this area. But, for you-what is going on? Water? Nausea?

THANK YOU everyone for such large and overall super supportive responses! I know I have a 100% chance of regaining anything I lose. Proven Fact. I am trying to wrap my head around the changes to come, but I think the ones I know about are better than what is currently in front of me.

Losing a bit on the Pre-op, cut my coffee way down-my soul is crying at that but I DO feel better!

Wed is the day! I wish I could take off on Tuesday, but we are down 2 people in my department. It is already going to be nuts. Wed Wed Wed.

My friend is going with me and staying with me that night when they send me home that night. The next morning she will leave, and I will be alone until my high school son comes home from early release. I had wanted my exH to come over, but since I rejected him again on his 25th request to get back together, he is feeling butt hurt. When I can drive a few days later, going to Mom's in Dallas for xmass.

Fingers Crossed!!

Congratulations on your decision! Wednesday will come before you know it. Be sure and take good care of yourself post op. Give your daddy a big ol hug post op and tell him you love him for his concern. And have a Merry Christmas with mom!

THANK YOU everyone for such large and overall super supportive responses! I know I have a 100% chance of regaining anything I lose. Proven Fact. I am trying to wrap my head around the changes to come, but I think the ones I know about are better than what is currently in front of me.

Losing a bit on the Pre-op, cut my coffee way down-my soul is crying at that but I DO feel better!

Wed is the day! I wish I could take off on Tuesday, but we are down 2 people in my department. It is already going to be nuts. Wed Wed Wed.

My friend is going with me and staying with me that night when they send me home that night. The next morning she will leave, and I will be alone until my high school son comes home from early release. I had wanted my exH to come over, but since I rejected him again on his 25th request to get back together, he is feeling butt hurt. When I can drive a few days later, going to Mom's in Dallas for xmass.

Fingers Crossed!!

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Good luck and keep your chin up! Do not think about regaining and do not have any doubts. You are doing the right thing and you won't regret it. Best wishes to you!

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