My Dad is hard hitting me not to have this surgery. I am 46, BMI 40, Arthritis in both knees and obviously no long-term ability to keep it off.

He is gathering stats and posting them to me in emails.

Here is an excerpt below, what do you think of his stats?

"I have never seen so much distortions and obscurations pertaining to anything as is done in bariatric surgery.

I thought knee replacement was bad with all the hype but nothing like this!!

There are hundreds of "authoritative" articles on the subject, almost all of which are blatantly designed to appeal to your emotions.

Half the forums are a joke mixed with truthful questions and experiences and often salted with carefully spin doctor messages.

The most complete reporting that I have found with only moderate spin is: www.obesitycoverage.com " Gastric By Pass vs. Gastric Sleeve Surgery."

I feel that you doing this surgery could be without a doubt the worst decision in your life.

You've got to know the probable consequences and they are not good.

Colette, this is one of those times that even if you feel that the probability of serious occurrences occurring is low...you still just do not do it..... You just don't do it because if any of the serious consequences do occur, they are so unalterably life changing negative that you can not risk it no matter what because it will be forever.

I don't get where you say the odds are in your favor? They are not.

Yes, I understand that the death rate is low, (which I am thankful for), but to have some complications are almost guaranteed. You have got to know that by now.

Read the article.

Even if you ignore the 60% to 70% probability of indigestion, nausea and dehydration, the percentage of occurrence of mild to severe complications is a huge collective 88.9% !!!

GERD 47%

Nutritional deficiency 12%

Gallstones 23%

Acute Stricture 3.5%

Deep Vein Thrombosis 1%

Staple line failure 2.4%

Total: 88.9%

Please don't go through with this. We can figure something else out. You do have options. Dad"

Let's not confuse 'love' with 'control'.

I have no doubt your dad loves you, but there's always an element of control and a self narrative with these people's arguments against having the surgery. He needs to understand that the risks of being obese far out weigh the risks of having the surgery. And I'm assuming you are a competent adult who is capable of making decisions for yourself.

He may be kicking and screaming if you go ahead with it, but he'll get over it. They always do.

I have GERD, I take a pill once a day. I would much rather take that pill than be the 60 pounds heavier that I was. Also, I have very many family members that have had their gallbladders removed (aged 25-55) and none of them have had bariatric surgery. I know there is a chance of other complications, but that is a small chance that I was willing to take.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

Hi

I can honestly say I felt the same way when my husband had his procedure two years ago. HW:325 two years later, he is at 195 and maintained 195 for 1 year, still going strong. Your dad is scared, worried and over educated on all the negatives of WLS. He loves you but he needs to read patient testimonials and attend some of the bariatric pre surgical and support group meetings and/or forums. He needs to do so with an open mind. Yes, there are alot negatives, but good communication with your doctors is key and following their instructions and sticking with them is an absolute must.

Needless to say, after I performing my research, I decided to have WLS but self pay. I have arthritis in both knees and rheumatoid arthritis in my hips, and I take Celebrex and plaquenil for pain. In the winter months, my mobility is very difficult without a cain but my BMI is not high enough for medical insurance to cover cost.

I spoke with my Primary and she said as long as I did all my homework, why wait to gain 50 more lbs especially since I employed by an health insurance carrier.

I had my procedure 10 days ago and lost 11 lbs, my knees don't hurt anymore but hips I need to take liquid Tylenol because in full liquid stage of recovery.

So basically I am saying I was opposed initially but once I saw active proof , it changed my viewpoint. My husband follows his regime closely,so that's key: follow your doctor's orders before, during and after you too will be successful and you can say to your dad and all of the "doubters": look at me now!

You will be strong and confidently beautiful, because you took control of your life

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An extended comment to what Heidikat sad about gallstones. The most common predictors for gallstones are the 3 F's: fat, forty, female. You meet all 3. It's just a matter of time before you will need your gallbladder taken out. With obesity, your risk for heart disease is very high, not to mention more cancer risks, HTN, diabetes, high cholesterol and joint damage. To me, taking Vitamins and changing my whole perspective on food and nutrition, WAY out weigh all the health risks of obesity. Good luck in your decision making. I didn't tell my father I was having the surgery done because this is exactly how he would have acted. I know your father's comments are out of concern, mine would have been because my dad is judgmental against obese people.

YES! I had my gallbladder out 15 years ago, way before I even thought about weight loss surgery. I weighed less then, and had lost a whopping 40 pounds on Weight Watchers when I ended up in the ER in agony. ANY weight loss, with surgery or without it, can lead to that pesky gallbladder acting up. Our terrible diets caused the problem, NOT weight loss surgery.

@@Anna Nim

The complications of staying obese far outweigh any potential complications of surgery. Your dad seems to be coming from a place of fear. Most of the complications he quoted are 1-4 week post-op issues that most of us dealt with in some minor way or another. For example dehydration, can be dangerous but fixable! Gallstones? Surgery fixes that, too.

I guess the question for him is, does he want you to be happy?

You're 46, capable of your own decisions. Stay strong!

Edited December 7, 20169 yr by The New Kel

You have to think long and hard if you can make the lifestyle changes required post surgery to be successful. If yes, then chat with your Dad about what your life will be like post surgery and how he can help support you. The surgery is not a license to eat or not exercise. It is a tool to help along with significant lifestyle changes. My husband helps me plan low carb meals. Weighs and measures food for recipes and packs my lunch. His support is helping is invaluable.

Had lapband surgery 10/12/16

Edited December 7, 20169 yr by Treadmillwalker

Heck, my husband had his gallbladder removed two years ago. He's a little overweight BUT last time I checked he wasn't over 40 and wasn't female. And the gallbladder surgery wasn't a big deal at all. I think it took longer to knock him out than the actual surgery time. I think one of the worst surgeries to have is your tonsils removed as an adult. My husband had that done about 9 years ago. We were all miserable.

Any surgery has risks. I'm falling apart at a rapid pace (sleep apnea, cholesterol, arthritis, high blood pressure). Odds are pretty good this surgery will alleviate these problems!

I think it is sooooo sweet that your dad is so concerned. I love it. However, you are doing this for long term health reasons. With a BMI of 40, the odds of losing the weight and keeping it off on your own are slim. The advantage we have is that we know those are all risks so we KNOW what to watch for and how to prevent it. Most of the complications are ones we create by not following the doctors orders. The odds of actual medical complications are very slim and getting slimmer as the medical world is progressing every day. Maybe take your dad with you to speak with your doctor to put his mind at ease??? Good luck and bless your dads little heart ❤️

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Everyone else has already given a lot of the data I would.

Let me just also say that in reference to gallstones - if you're at risk for them, any significant weight loss will trigger them, whether surgery or not. So just getting healthy can set you up for them.

One more note.

The effects of yo-yo dieting are showing to be worse than if we all just stayed fat. Statistically, only 5% of those who lose their weight solely with diet and exercise will keep it off long term (3 years or more). If any drug on the market only had a 5% success rate, it wouldn't be on the market. We are being sold a bill of goods in relation to diet and exercise. The long term success rates for WLS range from about 50% to about 70%, depending on which study you read, and which surgery. That's a damned sight better than 5%. You wouldn't try to run a marathon with a 50# backpack in heels, would you? The surgery just gives you a better toolkit... reducing the backpack to 20# and giving you good running shoes.

Oh, by the way, I'm a nurse and in graduate school and researched the heck out of this before doing it. The major complications (leaks, serious infections) are actually quite rare. The minor common complications (nausea, vomiting) are easily manageable. The moderately bad complications (strictures) are also normally treatable, and don't happen very often. Safety-wise, WLS is safer than virtually any other abdominal surgery.

Malabsorption is only really an issue with the bypass. Some minor malnutrition with the sleeve is related to reduced intake and possibly low-carb eating, and is generally avoidable with a good Multivitamin. Dehydration is usually limited to the first few weeks post-op, and many people are able to drink enough fluids to not have any issues.

Complications are absolutely possible, but they don't tend to be as common or as serious as your dad would make them out to be.

Here's my response to a lot of the "there's a better way" nonsense. (And in case you can't tell, I get a little preachy about it!!)

http://www.theantichick.com/2016/08/05/the-easy-way-out/

Good luck!!

I am 44, and haven't yet shared with my dad for the same reason. I understand! My doctor said the risks of these things being a possibility are less of a concern than what is our current daily risks from obesity. Diabetes, sleep apnea, heart disease, etc.

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Even if you ignore the 60% to 70% probability of indigestion, nausea and dehydration, the percentage of occurrence of mild to severe complications is a huge collective 88.9% !!!

GERD 47%

Nutritional deficiency 12%

Gallstones 23%

Acute Stricture 3.5%

Deep Vein Thrombosis 1%

Staple line failure 2.4%

Total: 88.9%

I know I keep posting, but every time I read this, it just makes me want to reach through the internet and shake your Dad. This is NOT how statistics work!!

To the gallbladder question- I had mine removed 5 weeks before my sleeve surgery because I had a stone . Gallbladder surgery is a piece of cake. In and out of hospital same day, like in 4 hours! Then a couple days rest. I considered it a break from work and time to catch up on Netflix, lol!

Here are just a few things that your dad might want to consider that are complications of obesity:

Heart disease

Stroke

High BP

Arthritis

edema

Depression

reclusive behavior

joint problems.

Many more.

A couple years ago, I had a stroke in my eyeball! yes, you read that right. My BP shot up to 210/100 and I my vision got fuzzy. Went to ER and was put on bed rest and meds for a BP caused Retinal occlusion. I still have some vision loss in my right eye. I was told I was lucky that I didn't have a full blown stroke. I am only 47.

My brother had a heart attack at age 45. He is obese as well.

I am thankful now that as I am losing weight post surgery the risks for these things are drastically decreasing.

Not to be morbid but I do think that the odds for dying in a car accident are higher than life threatening complications from WLS. Something for your dad to consider as well.

Edited December 7, 20169 yr by The New Kel

Oh, by the way, I'm a nurse and in graduate school and researched the heck out of this before doing it. The major complications (leaks, serious infections) are actually quite rare. The minor common complications (nausea, vomiting) are easily manageable. The moderately bad complications (strictures) are also normally treatable, and don't happen very often. Safety-wise, WLS is safer than virtually any other abdominal surgery.

Malabsorption is only really an issue with the bypass. Some minor malnutrition with the sleeve is related to reduced intake and possibly low-carb eating, and is generally avoidable with a good Multivitamin. Dehydration is usually limited to the first few weeks post-op, and many people are able to drink enough fluids to not have any issues.

Complications are absolutely possible, but they don't tend to be as common or as serious as your dad would make them out to be.

Here's my response to a lot of the "there's a better way" nonsense. (And in case you can't tell, I get a little preachy about it!!)

http://www.theantichick.com/2016/08/05/the-easy-way-out/

Good luck!!

Lol I'm calling my attorney on my mom for that easy way out comment. If it was a stranger.. It would be a bails bond man lmao assault and battery for real.