Where I am at this point is I'm meeting with the surgeon next week for the first time, so I'm just a newbie.

My relationship with food right now is that I feel that I obsess about food: how much I'm eating, what I'm eating, feeling tempted, and basically feeling a lot of anxiety surrounding food.

For you post-op people, do you feel that food is an obsession? I'm thinking specifically about the "diet mentality" - needing to count calories, weigh and measure everything, and having to think always about what I'm putting in my mouth. I'm worried that I'll still have to obsess about food, even post-op. I don't want to live the rest of my life obsessing about these things. Have food issues normalized for you? I want to put food in its proper place in my life, that it is not something to think about constantly, but I'm worried that even with surgery I'm still going to have to be on constant alert about food. Thanks for any insight you may have.

I think everyone is very different. For me post surgery my relationship with food has changed. It also has gone through several stages.

In the immediate post op I was "obsessed" with food in the sense that I had to learn to eat again. I had to figure out what worked for me, learn to eat slower and chew my food more throughly. I also was very focused on trying to stay hydrated. However, the hunger was completely gone for me so food did not hold any appeal. I never felt anxious about food even when eating out, I just learned to adapt what worked for me to my current situation. I also never expected my family to eat as I did. I am the one who had surgery not them.

As I began to progress and the weight came off, I still stayed focused on my food because I was very diligent about getting my protein in for each day. For me about month six my hunger returned but it was not the insatiable monster it was pre op. My hunger for the first time felt normal. I was hungry and my body needed fuel.

I am in maintenance now and have been for about 10 months. I can eat more now and sometimes I am even tempted (enjoy those first few months). However, my relationship with food is what I consider fairly normal. I even indulge in my cravings and treat myself occasionally. I still watch my food closely in order to make sure I am getting the calories, carbs, protein and nutrients to maintain my weight.

One thing I have realized is that this is a tool and even though my obesity is in "remission", I will never be cured. It will be a lifestyle change forever in order to maintain. I will always be a bariatric patient who needs to be careful of hydration status and nutritional status. I have learned if I fill up with junk, then I can't give my body what it needs to be healthy.... So I guess my answer is that I still obsess, but to me it's in a good way and I am super happy!!

One thing that I feel helped me was I did track faithfully during my losing stage and for about the first five months during my maintenance stage. The tracking was so valuable in that it allowed me to see trends and what calorie and carb intake worked best for me. Therefore I knew exactly what my targets were for losing and what they are for maintaining. At 20 months post op I usually just track a few times a week to make sure my protein counts are working target.

Good luck to you!!

I am obsessed with reading nutrition labels, and I'm obsessed with finding new and exciting recipes and cooking healthy versions of things I used to make. But it's a good thing. I no longer have feelings of guilt and anxiety about my food even when I eat something "bad" because I know I budgeted for it in my daily calorie/carb allowance.

I prefer to think of it as me in total control of my diet. It is definitely a positive.

I plan on tracking everything I eat probably for the rest of my life because that works for me (I like the daily affirmation/accountability). So I guess you could still call it obsessed, but it's an obsession that brings me peace, contentment and lets me control my life and my health, so I am perfectly fine with the label.

Having a reduced appetite is very new to me - literally. I had my first fill on the 8th and it appears to be doing the trick. It's not just that I can't eat as much as I used to... I also don't want to eat as much as I used to. I thought I would only experience the former (wanting to keep eating but being incapable of continuing) because that's what being full meant to me before. Messed up but true. I'd eat until I felt like I was going to burst and still want to keep eating but only stopped because if I kept going I'd get sick. Now when I have a meal I lose interest halfway through. It's a miracle.

To me, it's much easier to make good choices because I get full quickly regardless of what I'm eating. I still think about it a lot but that's probably out of habit. I feel tense, like I'm waiting for the insatiable appetite to return. But the feelings of hopelessness and deprivation are gone. For the first time ever, I can honestly say I don't feel deprived with eating less. That feeling of deprivation is what always derailed my efforts in the past. And I think the deprivation and hopelessness compounded my anxiety around food. I'd feel resentful when I went out to dinner with family/friends and ordered off the "lite" menu when I wanted a big bowl of Fettuccini alfredo.

It'll take time to get through the thoughts of "Should I eat this?" or "Does this have too many calories?" or "What's the protein/carb/fat ratio of this food?" But you will want to cry from happiness when you eat a meal and feel full and satisfied from a portion that would have been a snack for you in the past.

You ask a complex question. I didn't obsess about food, I was more guilty of the mindless eating. i did carry alot of "baggage" about dieting though. I felt i did need to "obsess" in the early months but now, 4 years out, I would describe it as mindful, not obsessive.

the phase where food tasted terrible and I had little appetite gave me a window of opportunity to change my relationship with food.

I do think that the focus on weighing, tracking etc. can be anxiety provoking if it is already, so some sort of support/guidance might be useful

I am 18 months post-op and still have to make good choices about what to eat every time I eat. Is that what you mean? I have to get 100 grams of protein a day, so I keep a running tally of protein in my head all day long. Sometimes it's a pretty rough guess. I also always have to think about how much I can eat. Like when I go out to eat, I have to first find something that's pretty high protein, then figure out how much of it I can actually eat. I usually try to eyeball it at the beginning and tell myself, "okay, I'm just going to eat 1/3" or whatever and sometimes I will even separate that amount out before I start eating.

post-op people, do you feel that food is an obsession

@@librarianlk

YES!!!

even at 4 years PO

i have spent most of my adult life thinking/obsessing over food

i still do think about food, constructive thoughts

planning what i will eat, ie Protein and more protein

concentrating on healthier foods, low cal, high protein etc

eating slowly - small pieces/bites

most importantly for me - following allll the Water rules

I "might" relax more about constant thoughts concerning food

but not toooo much - food will always be foremost in my mind

for ME, if i don't obsess, struggle a bit

i'm afraid i might go back to some of my old ways

past, present and future

i will continue to "obsess" about food - but in different ways

"obsess" - its's just a word

kathy

I don't know if the word obsess fits for me but living in this new lifestyle requires me to be very diligent and planful.

So I am always planning what I am going to eat, finding new recipes that will work for my high Protein, lower carb diet.

food is still very important to me, it just looks different. Before I was guilty of mindless eating not really caring what I ate. I ate a lot of processed foods, fast foods, junk foods. The recipes I made were laden with Pasta, rice, bread.

I no longer eat that way and honestly don't do well with spontaneous eating. I may not plan a week in advance but I definately plan a day or 2 in advance.

Grocery shopping is different too. I actually make a list and go to the store vs just mindless shopping for what looks good.

I log my food. I no longer weigh everything as I am definately very aware of portions. My nut felt confident that I had an excellent handle on portion sizes so although my logging may not be perfect, it is fairly close. If I am guilty of anything it might be shorting myself on portions and rarely can I clean my plate.

So I guess if planning my food, budgeting my nutrients and logging everything is obsessive then yes, I am obsessive.

On the flip side, before surgery I was not obsessive. I simply ate whatever I wanted without even realizing how bad it was in regards to nutrition.

I was a morbidly obese person who was actually malnourished because of my food choices.

Most people don't realize how often obese people are actually malnourished!

food used to be my to-go for everything..if I was happy, sad, upset, you name it. Right after surgery I was obsessed with calories, Protein, carbs, etc. I am just over 9 months out and at goal weight. I learned early on the more I obsess about it, the fewer pounds I lost. I don't even track any more. I am contentious about what I eat but not crazed. I do look at labels and decide if I want to purchase something.

I pretty much eat whatever I want just in very limited quantities. My choices are definitely better post surgery. My relationship with food is different. It is not an emotional band-aid anymore. Food is merely fuel to do what I want and need to do. I still enjoy yummy food, but it is not the be all end all.

I have to say that at 29 months post-op, I no longer have the obsessive relationship I once did with food. I think this is because I know that if I want to, I can eat whatever I want, and I will not be physically able to overeat. Because of this, I have no real interest in food that before would have been something that I just had to have. I feel like this is a little bit like how it works if you feed a dog with treats and don't tell him that there is anything special about the treat...because he can have the treat whenever he wants, he doesn't really care about it anymore. Not the greatest analogy there, lol.

I have maintained within a few pounds of goal for almost 11 months now. I eat what I want and I don't think a whole lot about it, which is partly because every single morning I weigh myself. If I see my weight start to inch up a few ounces or a pound, I pay attention to my food that day, and I drop back down to my usual weight in a day or two. I don't eat junk food like candy, Cookies, or chips, mostly because it makes me feel sick, and I don't eat anything with oil, fats, or major sugar because it makes me barf.

So far today I have had a handful of granola and a snack bag of goldfish. Later today I'll probably eat my leftover grilled nuggets from Chik Fil A, a half serving of a vegetable Protein steamer, a few granola bars, and another snack bag or two of goldfish. This is not obviously a diet plan that you should use, but the fact that I can eat what I want to, feel full after relatively few calories, and not be overly obsessive about counting calories (I still login everything on MyFitnessPal everyday- I just hit something like 160 days without missing a day). Being able to eat what I want and not having to worry that I will overeat has substantially reduced by obsession with food.

I am 21 months post surgery and still plan all my meals and weigh and log all my food. I found it is the plan that works for me. If I'm out at a restaurant i'm not shy about asking the server a portion size so I can eat accordingly. I believe that I will live like this for the rest of my life. The logging takes minutes out of my day, but insures I stay on track. Being diligent has lead to a 130 lb loss and has given me an active life I could never have imagined. While I don't consider my behavior obsessive, some (including my therapist) do. However, I'm not willing to change. I like the control planning and logging give me. I will, and do, eat off plan, but I'm always sure to log to make sure I stay on track. Good luck!!

I don't know if the word obsess fits for me but living in this new lifestyle requires me to be very diligent and planful.
So I am always planning what I am going to eat, finding new recipes that will work for my high Protein, lower carb diet.
food is still very important to me, it just looks different. Before I was guilty of mindless eating not really caring what I ate. I ate a lot of processed foods, fast foods, junk foods. The recipes I made were laden with Pasta, rice, bread.

I no longer eat that way and honestly don't do well with spontaneous eating. I may not plan a week in advance but I definately plan a day or 2 in advance.

Grocery shopping is different too. I actually make a list and go to the store vs just mindless shopping for what looks good.

I log my food. I no longer weigh everything as I am definately very aware of portions. My nut felt confident that I had an excellent handle on portion sizes so although my logging may not be perfect, it is fairly close. If I am guilty of anything it might be shorting myself on portions and rarely can I clean my plate.

So I guess if planning my food, budgeting my nutrients and logging everything is obsessive then yes, I am obsessive.

On the flip side, before surgery I was not obsessive. I simply ate whatever I wanted without even realizing how bad it was in regards to nutrition.

I was a morbidly obese person who was actually malnourished because of my food choices.

Most people don't realize how often obese people are actually malnourished!

I am 21 months post surgery and still plan all my meals and weigh and log all my food. I found it is the plan that works for me. If I'm out at a restaurant i'm not shy about asking the server a portion size so I can eat accordingly. I believe that I will live like this for the rest of my life. The logging takes minutes out of my day, but insures I stay on track. Being diligent has lead to a 130 lb loss and has given me an active life I could never have imagined. While I don't consider my behavior obsessive, some (including my therapist) do. However, I'm not willing to change. I like the control planning and logging give me. I will, and do, eat off plan, but I'm always sure to log to make sure I stay on track. Good luck!!

I'm 18 months post-op (today). I've lost 100 pounds and am maintaining at 135 pounds.

Everything @@Djmohr and @@stacyrg1 said (above) is true for me, too. "Obsessive"? I dunno. Mindful? Always. Disciplined? Pretty much. Plan my food and track it? Most of the time.

@@librarianlk - Great question and you have received some great answers. I am only 8 1/2 months out, but not only did I have the same question as you pre-op, I recently had a similar conversation with my therapist about wanting to be "normal" with relation to food. In the beginning, I felt very food obsessed, so I completely understand where you are coming from, but now, I am just more mindful. Having said that, when discussing with my therapist she said something that resonated with me. "You aren't normal yet" she said. I obsessed about food for at least 40 years of my life and to expect that I would undo all that and be "normal" in 8 short months is unrealistic of me. I hope to reach a point in my life where I have a more normal relationship with food; however, 1) who is to say what "normal" really is? and 2) just as an alcoholic is a recovering alcoholic for the rest of their lives, I too will always be in recovery from my obsession of food. For the rest of my life.... That is daunting sometimes, but the struggle does change (and will continue to change) and I strive for being mindful yet not obsessed of every bite.

I hope this helps a little. I am trying to explain that your fears are reasonable but please do not let them get in the way of making the decision of going forward with the procedure. It is an incredible journey and I would highly recommend therapy as you move through it. It will be the biggest tool you have (next to the actual surgery).

There is a really good article posted today called "Food and Eating...the Extremes" that addresses the extreme obsessiveness on the other end of this journey. It is worth a read.

I am one who has a suppressed appetite, (or none at all)...I have no interest in food and sometimes, when I am busy or traveling, will forget to eat entirely.

People describe it as "Feeling Full"...I have never felt that since my Lap band surgery....however, my brain tells me I am full and have no need to eat, even if I have not eaten in over 12 hours.(or more)

And if my brain senses it, then I simply don't think about it....

And the miracle is, I am one who could not stop eating...like a machine, all day long.

And when I do eat, it is very little...very small portions. Waste and throw away more than I eat. So because of that, knowing my portions will be small, I concentrate on eating the healthiest I can...make the best of it and not waste that small window with something with no nutritional value....

After 5 years, I don't worry about measuring portions, or counting calories...I did in the beginning...but now, it's all about eating healthy and eating less...along with plenty of exercise.

It's a breeze.

Cooked a freaking spread for my son for Breakfast this morning........didn't phase me. A vanilla Protein shake and I'm good.

Cook for the family quite a bit and don't have problems sticking to my menu and my portion sizes.

I measure things at the house with my 1/2 cup measuring cup in order to figure out what my meal size should look like.

In restaurants, I'll evaluate & portion out the entree (always chicken, steak or fish) and eat only that amount. I do not like to ever reach the state where I'm full. It's not comfortable to me and I simply don't like it. It's better when I eat my 1/2 cup portion over 20 minutes and I'm done.

Very, very easy to follow the plan.

Hunger is no longer there......at all. There are cravings that pop up occasionally and require discipline to work past. Had this happen recently with my downfall.....mixed nuts. I bypassed them and instead step into the half-bath near the kitchen....closed the door and pull my shirt up. I'd love to tell you that I saw a 6-pack of ab muscles.....but what I did see is a smaller belly and the future site of that 6-pack !!!!!! Forgot all about the food craving.

I can now see my progress really well.....I'm now leaner than many of my non-bariatric friends. I want to be leaner than my gym friends next. I want to live lean and that makes discipline come easy...easy....easy.

Getting the appetite monster off of my back has been such a relief! I am no longer driven by that hunger and obsessing over whether I am on or off a plan, etc. I have a new normal. Every one is different and you will find what works for you. I am happy to report that I still love food, just in much smaller quantities and eaten at appropriate intervals. I am not on a diet but I eat smart and listen to my body. I do not deprive myself -- that mentality did not serve me well during all those years I'd dieting and regain. There's a part of me that enjoys being "in food" -- I'm a cook. I hardly taste now when I'm cooking (not hungry!) but I enjoy the display and presentation, the textures, aromas and notion of preparing food for others to enjoy. It's all good!