Comments from only one sex

[Briardlady 73]

I've lost 121 pounds, maybe 40% of my weight, so it is definitely noticeable. I inspect facilities, so see some people annually year after year. They know me. I recently did two large zoos, both of which I've been going to for almost thirty years. I usually work with men for the actual driving / walking around, but a lot of the keepers know me too, and are always very friendly. At both zoos, not one single man commented on my weight loss AT ALL. Not a word about how I looked, about how well I was able to keep up, nada, nothing. OTOH, just about every female keeper I know gave me compliments, asked how I did it, etc. Male keepers looked surprised when they saw me, but no comments.

I guess we've reached the point in society where men are afraid to say anything in a work situation? I was actually a little annoyed, not at the lack of compliments, but at the clear difference between the men and the women. At the dog shows, comments are evenly divided, but that's not work. With my co-workers (who I see rarely), no one has been afraid to talk about my weight loss.

It just seemed weird.

[Nurse_Lenora 903]

As a rule unless it is someone I am close to I never comment on weight. As for the men at work, They might also fear someone claiming sexual harassment.

[WorkinOnMe 596]

I agree with @@Nurse_Lenora ... they may have feared sexual harassment charges. I have seen the same thing in my workplace though. Those I see often, or the women, are always commenting. The men, although you can clearly see the surprise on their faces, will not say a single thing. A sad sign of the times.

[jess9395 5,448]

In my experience men aren't as observant either. Heck I have to tell hubby I've gotten a haircut when I hack 5" off!

Just another thought

[Nurse_Lenora 903]

I also NEVER EVER assume someone is pregnant! Even if they are wearing a shirt that says "baby on board" lol....

[gowalking 10,790]

Sounds to me like they noticed all right...they just didn't vocalize it. Don't sweat it...after all, at some point the compliments will stop because people will get used to the smaller you. I'm three years banded, about half that time in maintenance. No one says anything anymore....and I'm fine with that. It means they are getting used to seeing me at my new size.

[jj7481 363]

From a guys perspective, it's likely they noticed. However, they're either unsure how to approach it or fear you will not take the comments as a compliment. Unfortunately, we live in a society that is very PC and all it would take is someone to feel offended or harassed....and that's it. I don't know you personally, and maybe they don't feel they know you well enough either. Do you have close relationships with any of the male co-workers?

An example would be a male co-worker who told a female she looks great only to be met with "What? Are you saying I was fat?!" Or, something of the like.

[Daisee68 2,493]

Same thing happening to me. Men appear to be afraid to say anything - especially older men. Don't take it personally.

[SweetPotato 142]

I've only had a single person comment on my weight loss...one of the male cohort members in my doctorate program who I consider a friend. He just commented on how hard I must be working and wondered if it would be ok for him to check in as a way to offer support. He prefaced it with a "i know this might sound weird to ask.." None of my female friends or colleagues have said anything and my loss is pretty noticeable.

[OKCPirate 5,323]

@@Briardlady - Geez you live in California, you can be sued for getting someone's gender wrong, or not providing 5 bathrooms in your restaurant to cater to the 5 people in your area going through reassignment surgery. Of course guys are not going to say anything.

I have many people who won't say anything until it comes up in a group, and someone mentions it and the ball gets rolling. BTW remember people think about you less than you think. Just be happy in your shrinking skin and enjoy life more abundantly.

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

I think men are less observant and definitely more gunshy about bringing up " weight"

I work for a European based company though, and there was NO holding back, HOWEVER, it didn't happen until I was thin enough to move from matronly to more conventionally attractive and then it was game on!

During the losing process it was definitely the women who commented most.

[otillie03103 123]

I work from home and recently had to meet with IT to get a new PC for my home office. The IT guy admitted he was afraid to say anything thinking I may be offended.

[sharkgirl 251]

I was just talking about this with a male co-worker. He always says something but we are friends. He has noticed other male coworkers ask if I've changed my hair instead.

[4MRB4PHOTO 3,899]

If a guy is smart he never comments about a woman's weight, as in "Honey, does this dress make my butt look fat?"

They probably noticed, but don't want to comment since they don't know how you may receive the compliment.

Edited February 2, 2016 by 4MRB4PHOTO