The fear of regain is REAL!

[Elode 8,093]

@@WLSResources/ClothingExch LOL! Oh I most certainly get food pictures. I've learned to brush it off. It hurt my feelings and pissed me off a bit the first time but not any more. I would have thought they would be supportive since we all are WLS patients but it just didn't turn out that way. It's ok though! I like to keep positive people around that help to motivate me.

[Elode 8,093]

@@Bndtoslv I know it's a real possibility in my own life. I like food! I thought that would go away and was naive in the beginning to think I would magically not want to eat or care about food ever again. I was wrong! I wish it was that way but it's just not. Not for me anyway. I have a loooong road ahead of me. It's daunting when I think about it. I'm going to do whatever I can to try not to regain my weight back. I have to keep my head right at all times without letting it over consume me. It's a fight.

[Bndtoslv 292]

@@Bndtoslv I know it's a real possibility in my own life. I like food! I thought that would go away and was naive in the beginning to think I would magically not want to eat or care about food ever again. I was wrong! I wish it was that way but it's just not. Not for me anyway. I have a loooong road ahead of me. It's daunting when I think about it. I'm going to do whatever I can to try not to regain my weight back. I have to keep my head right at all times without letting it over consume me. It's a fight.

I think you will be ok simply because you are on this board and having this fear. I thought I was "cured". My band was very helpful and I lost weight so quickly. I was very active spinning and running 5 days a week. I didn't have the healthiest diet but still managed to lose weight rapidly. Then I had 2 kids and my band stopped working. I wasn't able to work out as much and there were some serious illnesses in my family. The combination caused the regain but I sort of gave up when I lost restriction too. never again! My nutritionist told me that it will be just as challenging to fight regain as ever so I am prepared. This time around I have reformed my eating. With the band healthy foods are challenging. With the sleeve I feel that I crave much healthier foods and I am not as interested in sweets. I do love food though. I love to cook and eat out.

[songsmith 334]

My aunt is one In the green leggings that likes to send me pictures of food or say " I bet you wish you could eat this". She thinks it's funny.

You should send her a picture of some pants that you just bought and say, "I bet you wish you could wear these". I think that would be pretty funny.

That...is perfect! I know you could send her pictures of food and then ram it home when she complains, but then you'd be doing the same thing as your aunt. I suppose you could ask them not to send you pictures of goodies and tell them it makes things harder for you. You could even pitch it as a plea for help to soothe their egos. "Gosh, this is so hard. I'm really counting on you all for your support just like you helped me so much when I made my decision to do this surgery. I couldn't do it without you!" Bleh. Appeal to their egos. If they continue after you ask them to stop, then they can't escape the fact that they are deliberately undermining your efforts.

They might not consciously be doing these things. You know that deep down they must hate that they allowed themselves to gain the weight back. It's easier to accept if all of you gain. If you succeed, then they have no more excuses. "WLS? Oh, that's all hype. It doesn't work. And if it does, you gain it all back. Look at us!" That doesn't cut it when you're standing right before them in your glorious new you.

Keep doing what you're doing. Like others, I just may steal that photo. I'm terrified I'll fall back into my old habits when the time comes. I think we all feel that way since everyone has dieted so many times (and failed) before. That's why we're doing this, after all. You can do this. You have great determination. You stop after you allow yourself a taste. You throw out Cookies. You resist the donuts. Each time is another victory, and you're a winner. (or a loser? I get confused when it comes to weight loss.)

I'm fortunate because my hubby's food weaknesses don't coincide with mine. He's a salty guy, and I'm a sweetie. I do ask him to bring in Snacks that I never liked (your Cheetos? Would never have tempted me because I have a thing about the cheese powder. chips, though? So he brings home the Cheetos.) Anyway, I can't think of any donut I would hate, but there are ones I don't like very much. (For example, I don't like nuts on donuts.) If you feel the same way and if your hubby likes those sorts of donuts, maybe you could ask that he bring in those? That way you're not denying him, but you are making it easier to deny those donuts.

[WLSResources/ClothingExch 3,443]

@@BigViffer -- in my note (above somewhere) to Elode I suggested she send to the relatives the pic of her legs & killer shoes which she posted a couple of weeks ago. The legs were in jeans, but still looking slim and hot and the shoes were eye-poppers. You 'n me, guy, great minds thinking alike.

Edited November 14, 2015 by WLSResources/ClothingExch

[animallover1247 249]

Okay so I am not even going to address the you succeeded because you were "lucky" except to say it is absurd. What I want to say is this...they next time they say it is "luck" that got you were you are, you could say that damn Mountain Dew can is why she didn't get to where she wanted to be !!!!!!!! WTH?

[WLSResources/ClothingExch 3,443]

@@Elode --

@@WLSResources/ClothingExch "LOL! Oh I most certainly get food pictures. I've learned to brush it off. It hurt my feelings and pissed me off a bit the first time but not any more. I would have thought they would be supportive since we all are WLS patients but it just didn't turn out that way. It's ok though! I like to keep positive people around that help to motivate me."

I have yet to write a BP intro about my surgery saga. For now I'll just say I'm greatly grateful that, even though I've had a rocky downhill run (but am not giving up despite the long detour), I've never begrudged anyone's success. Quite the opposite, I selebrate with them. I don't know where the attitude came from, but it tells me that I haven't lost my humanity and am not over self-absorbed.

Something in your telling of your relatives' negativity got me angrier than I've ever felt when hearing about underminers. Of course you got past them, but they are new to me. Bitchers (had to put the "r" in to get past the censors to say what I really want to say).

Edited November 14, 2015 by WLSResources/ClothingExch

[AvaFern 3,516]

@Elode Reading your post gave me my own little anxiety attack, lol. I know exactly how you feel. Only my three best friends knew I had surgery because I have fragile feelings (haha) and I knew if everyone else knew they would spend the rest of my life critquing what I eat and saying I cheated on losing weight. As it is, just being thin after losing weight people who aren't my good friends like to comment on my food. I think I have a mild stricture so I tend to barf a lot, but when I go out to dinner I generally get so nervous about the fact that I'm going to get sick from the food, that I eat next to nothing, which then of course sparks conversation about how I don't eat, which then makes me even more conscious that everyone is watching me eat, and then I really want to eat nothing, lol.

I am terrified of regaining the weight. A lady I knew from work had lapband, got super skinny, and I guess she's now about 5 years post-op and she's just as large as she originally was. I feel bad for her. I also think that the only reason I have stayed thin this long is because every single day is a battle. The second I stop paying attention to my weight, and relax about what I eat and how much I exercise, I will regain it all right back. Knowing that the rest of my life is going to be about the stupid scale is a bummer, but it's way less depressing than knowing the rest of my life could be about being fat.

[Elode 8,093]

@@Bndtoslv That's awesome! You will do wonderful I'm sure! I will be waiting for updates!!!!

[Elode 8,093]

@@songsmith My husband is the worlds worst eater! He walks 12 miles a day (mailman) so he has the luxury of eating whatever he pleases. I just have to build up a thick skin and say no. It's not always easy. I was having a melt down on a recent post because there was so much crap in my house and I was REALLY wanting some. I have to find ways of coping with that feeling, there is always food everywhere, home , work ect....And the holidays are right around the corner. I need strong coping skills, I wasn't born with the food filter so I'm having to establish one.....as painful as it is it feels good to say no and get past it but then there's always another temptation waiting right around the corner......always!

[Elode 8,093]

@@WLSResources/ClothingExch Lol! You're so funny!

[Elode 8,093]

@@AvaFern Exactly! We have to be aware at all times. To think we will never regain is not only naive but dangerous. The one who had the sleeve before me was eating fried foods, pizza & cake as soon as she was able. I will never understand it. Maybe if she had an issue with the sleeve or was uneducated on what she was suppose to do but she was well aware. To call me "lucky" is a slap in the face. I tired to support her even before I had my surgery but she was head strong and I obviously didn't know anything. I keep my mouth shut now. It's not my problem nor is it my business anymore. I have to focus on myself. Maybe that's selfish but I'm ok with it. This is the one thing in my life I did for ME! Not for any one else.

[BLERDgirl 6,417]

I have a fear of not only regain, but stoping where I am which is halfway. I know I have to stay focused. I have 2 several friends who had Bariatrc procedures. One had bypass 10 years ago. She got down to a size 4, but never ate properly or keep up with blood work & supplements. She is now a 16, but has literally lost all her teeth, and is constantly sick. Another lives in Europe, was banded then converted to bypass. Also had issues with bone breakage and slow healing. I did this to optimize my health, not just get skinny. So I try to stay focused on the things that promote good health, not just weight loss.
As for your relatives I would rise above and ignore. If they felt better about their actions they wouldn't need to taunt you.

[_Kate_ 2,224]

My aunt is one In the green leggings that likes to send me pictures of food or say " I bet you wish you could eat this". She thinks it's funny.

You should send her a picture of some pants that you just bought and say, "I bet you wish you could wear these". I think that would be pretty funny.

LOVE this !!

[WL WARRIOR 690]

The reality of how easy it is to gain weight really set in this week.

I've decided that my set point is 127 pounds and have been successful maintaining that weight for the past two months. However, last week was quite turbulent. I had two relatives die and was very busy at work. The result was a loss of 4 pounds. To some, that may seem like a good thing. Although for me, it's a time to take action.

Ever since the beginning of maintenance in June, I told myself that I would not let myself get sickly skinny. I work with a lot of young girls and don't want to give the impression that it is okay to look underweight. Plus, it makes me look incompetent at work and may prevent me from getting hired for a more prestigious position. Looking weak and super skinny was not why I got WLS. However, in a way it makes you feel empowered. I think that is why some post ops are okay with being underweight.

So, my plan was to add a bowel of Cereal (Special K actually) to my daily diet. I though it might take a couple weeks to get back to 127. Nope! It only took three days to gain back the four pounds. Therefore, all it took to gain the weight back was three bowels of carb ridden Cereal. It was so easy to do, which is so unfortunate.

No wonder some gain weight back. It doesn't take much.