Well, I've been yelled at today.

[Babbs 14,680]

Times like this are when I think people should include their age when posting on the Internet.

Millennials. I vote they are millennials.

And before everyone jumps on me about that comment, I have 2. I know the attitudes well.

Just sayin'.

Some will say that certain generations are more entitled than others. That was my point. But you are correct in saying it can be a person of any age that can feel entitled. And yes, lack of personal responsibility and blaming everyone else for your problems or mistakes seems to be the norm these days.

I don't think it's age, I think it's entitlement. And emotional intelligence.

Venting is fine, whining is OK. But at the end of it all, one must take accountability and OWNERSHIP for the part they play in their own destiny. Not happy with how thing are going? Cry, moan and fix. Period.

[LipstickLady 25,682]

Just because you might not like someone's answer to your question does NOT mean they are being mean/bullying/being hurtful/etc.

I truly wish people would post that they want happy, warm cuddly responses that are 100% in agreement with them so I could skip those posts.

[dlappjr 467]

This happens a lot in a support group I am on on Facebook also. People come into the forum and want approval or verification for the way they feel. They get a little butt hurt because the conversation doesn't go their way. I find it hard to believe that there was not a single attempt by the office to remind her of the apt. In the past 6-8yrs, I have not had one single apt. that the office did not contact me by phone, either in person or by recording, to remind me. My Bariatric Surgeons Office has called me every other week since surgery to check up on me. Just to see how I was adapting. 2 of those times it was the Surgeon himself. I don't buy the story as it was sold to us.

That said, I hope @@Snowbutterfly reads these responses and decides to own a little more of the truth. There are a ton of great rescources on this site. People that really do want to help. I hope she keeps coming back and reads and asks and posts. It is a lot better than going it alone, and a far cry better than finding a group of people who might accept you not owning up to your responsibilities. Could you imagine settling in with a group who just says "it's ok, sorry they were mean to you" just because you didn't want to hear the correct answer. You don't need enablers. We all have had that already.

Edited October 20, 2015 by dlappjr

[BLERDgirl 6,417]

My doctor's office calls me. It's an automated system that requires a yes or no response. If you don't give one or it gets your answering machine, it will call back. They also email a reminder to my direct email AND if you choose to set up the hospital patient system (MyPennMedicine), it sends a message there as well. I personally set up reminders in my phone for a week in advance and the day before.

Despite all of that I recently missed an appointment because for some dumb reason I thought the appointment was on a Tuesday when it was actually on a Monday. I showed up on Tuesday and was told to reschedule. It took another month to get an appointment because the Pope came to town. I was annoyed, but really I had no one to blame but myself.

[GermanShepherdMama 145]

I just want to offer my support to the original poster.

Sorry so many people who have replied have been pretty blunt. However, they were accurate.

Don't be afraid to come back with more frustrations! There are a lot of people here who are encouraging.

[Halfagain 68]

I admit I try not to post if we seem to have a dog pile of basically the same messages. I'm not saying anyone is/was mean in this case -at all. or that people do not have the right to voice a helpful response, but sometimes In some threads I think the message has already been pretty clearly put across and there is no need to heap more onto the pile of comments.

[AngelaWilliamsMD 290]

If you are in the wrong, then you are in the wrong. I agree this is a support group but that doesn't mean tough love can't apply sometimes. Hopefully the OP (and others as well) learned a lesson here.

[finediva 979]

@@Snowbutterfly You are welcomed! Just stay focused on that goal.

[angelstwo 11]

I am not here to beat a dead horse. I do agree with much of what the previous respondents said. Your reaction was an overreaction but - BUT it felt/feels real and absolutely true to you. I am sure I am not the only one to recognize some of myself in your post. I most likely would have had a similar reaction a year and a half to two years ago while I suffered from very low self-esteem and major depression. We all embark on this journey expecting to lose weight; but this is not just a journey of just weight lose but a journey of the mind, body, and soul. Most of us achieve major weight lose along with a huge helping of self-discovery and an emotional roller coaster which can be quite nightmarish at times. My suggestion to you is to start seeing a counselor if you do not already do so. This counselor does not need to be through your bariatric center but should be someone familiar with bariatrics and bariatric surgery because many challenges still lie ahead. I wish you all the luck on your journey since it truly is your journey and your journey alone because everyone's journey is different.

[winklie 518]

The thing is, for the Treatment Center, every step is a weeding out process. Think of it, you most likely went to an informational seminar, that was packed with several hundred people. Now think of all the work between that first encounter until surgery. They are testing you, making sure you are ready. My Doctors office, is super cool if I have to miss an appointment, I just call, explain why and reschedule. That being said, I missed one, out of I would guess, 20 visits over 6 months.

[Sharon1964 2,530]

Okay kids, from now on, if someone posts a similar thread, someone PLEASE quote it to protect against the dirty delete. I missed all the fun!

Now for my two pence:

I have worked in the healthcare field for going on 20 years. I have come to believe that reminder calls have no real effect on the number of no-shows that we have. I have personally spoken to patients on a Friday, they don't show up on the Monday that happened to be Columbus Day, and when I called them to ask if they were on their way (it was psych and the appointments were an hour long), they would say, "oh I thought you were closed today, it's a holiday."

BLINK. BLINK.

I just talked to you on FRIDAY! Why in the world would I remind you of an appointment that didn't exist?????

Or you leave them a message and they don't check their voicemail, then claim you should have called them more than once.

Then people get used to the reminder call, and if you get swamped and don't make contact with someone, they don't show up. Their excuse is, "well you didn't call me."

So where I work now, we don't call or text. Our position is that you, the patient, are responsible for your own appointments. We are considering a system that makes automated calls, but if we do, I can hear it now.... "I didn't get the reminder."

We have around a 5% no-show rate (most days are 1 no show or none; some have 4), which is far below industry standard. We are a pain management practice, and if people don't show up, they don't get their medications and they are in pain or go into withdrawals. We also charge $125 for a no-show.

And lastly, if a new patient calls to cancel and reschedule their first appointment (which, from the responses, I think the OP did), the next available new patient slot would be more than 60 days away. Depending on if they give us a hard time on the phone, we may decline to reschedule at all.

Okay, I think that was really 3 pence. But there's the view from the other side.

[itstimealready 180]

Good Morning

I love it when people post their issues, other people don't give them the validation then want and they erase it. JEEEZUS.

As I just stated in the "Giving Up" thread.

Some people just LOVE playing the consummate victim.....

Yes, it made me question if she's mature enough to handle this whole process and journey. Taking responsibility for our own actions is a MAJOR part of success at anything, especially this!

[winklie 518]

@@Sharon1964

My Treatment center has taken this to a whole new degree. I get 2 emails, at 1 week and 1 day before the appointment, a robocall, where you have to listen to the machine blah blah and press #1 to keep the appointment, and a text message 2 days before the appointment where you have to reply to the text by sending 'C' to keep the appointment.

Honestly it's over the top. I made all but one of my appointments, and I live 30 miles away, do not drive and rely on public transit and made it. Each appointment requires 2 miles of walking and three different buses, each way. Yes, round trip is 4 miles walked, and six buses. If I can go through all that and make 19/20 appointments, I have little pity for someone who misses an appointment. That being said, things can and do happen, however as I pointed out in my last post, everything is a test. The Doctors want patients who are going to be successful, and they are testing you at every turn, every test, every exam,

Think of it like this, they do informational seminars twice a month to a packed room, hundreds of people. They do eight to 10 surgeries a week. Sometimes a few more sometimes a few less. So from hundreds of potential patients they have weeded it down to 8-10 a week, those 8-10 are the most motivated, cream of the crop so to say, and thus most likely to succeed. Which bodes well for the Doctor.

[The Candidate 3,215]

I'm old enough to remember a time when there was no email, voicemail, text, or even answering machines. And the vast majority of people still managed to make it to their appointments on time, without the aid of technological reminders.

[ProudGrammy 8,322]

timely about docs appointments

i had an 8:30 appt with one doc yesterday

i left home proper time

immediately i felt something "strange" scraping noise with the car

very noisy - didn't feel safe to drive

luckily there was was a repair shop a couple of miles down the road

turns out i needed new brakes (took 60 minutes or so, not bad)

ASAP i called doc office

lucky they could fit me in early afternoon

called 2nd doc

he could fit me in mid-afternoon

went to my 3rd doc end of day - on time

sign on the door

afternoon appts have to be rescheduled due to unexpected illness of the doc

we are very sorry for the inconvenience

Ekkk - went home - ALMOST had a "little" cry - but i didn't

if i can survive this mess - i can survive anything

my day with domino effect ended up being 8:00-4:00!!!

that's my story and i'm stickin to it

thanx for listening

you are allll aces

wanted/needed to share my vent

kathy