Secret

[sarah.mae 0]

I'm in the very early stages myself, and I've only told a select few people. I think it's perfectly fine to only tell folks you are comfortable with talking to about it.

[Kathy Krebs Robertson 30]

I have told a lot of people, most are supportive but the negative comments keep popping up in my head, I am at the point where I'm like, ' I'll show you " !!!!

[Soxgirl 32]

I wish I would have told less people, I hate the judgment from people that don't understand. I have only told my family and about four close friends but I still get a lot of pushback!

[The Candidate 3,215]

For me making the choice to only tell my immediate family and a few close friends was absolutely the right choice. But I never thought of it as a "secret" I'm keeping, as I never once felt obligated to share my personal decision with the world.

At seven weeks out I am still feeling my way, and figuring things out. I enjoy only having to focus on myself for once. Everyday it seems, I find a new thing to get excited about. But since it's such a personal experience, I'm not sure I would have the energy to be constantly explaining it to the outside world. I'd rather focus that energy entirely on getting healthy, especially in the beginning.

[gobeit 17]

I LOVE THIS POINT OF VIEW! Focusing on yourself is really important:)

Edited September 18, 2015 by gobeit

[alejcerra 12]

I am have my final preop in two weeks then I can schedule...I have told my mom, sisters, MiL & SiL, 4 friends & of course my husband knows.

I'm 31, 5'3 and have stayed between 220-225 for the last 10 years. I've actually been having some medical issues regarding my gallbladder and a horrible fatty liver. Yes of course I'm doing the surgery because I want to loose this weight...but I am doing this for my life, my health.

I have no intentions in telling anyone who doesn't already know I've had this surgery. Friends and family know I've been sick with gallbladder issues, and I will be getting it removed soon. While that is true, they don't need to know I'll be having my bariatric surgery at the same time. And when I get asked about my weight, I will be honest, I've made a lifestyle change. That's all anyone needs to know.

You also need to remember this is your battle. No one knows what you go through and what you have been through. Of course they won't be supportive, because like I once was...they think it is the "easy way out". In reality it is only a tool to get you to where you should be, but creating those healthy habits along the way is what will let you maintain that.

[BairwithMe 144]

No, I don't think it's wrong to ask your SO/spouse to not tell others. Even if you do plan to tell someone, I'm one of those people who think it should be *your* time and *your* decision. I pretty much had a melt down and got very angry at my partner last week over this. Over a month ago, I had told him that he did not have my permission to disclose my surgery to ANYONE without my explicit consent. I explained he could tell his boss/coworkers I was having surgery (because he took off work) "for digestive issues" if he wanted, but no other details. I *specifically* told him not to tell his mother, because she's just been really unpleasant to me.

It's difficult. She's mostly an okay woman, in her 80's, but it's very clear that she thinks her son has chosen poorly because of my weight. Lately she's made it part of our interactions whenever I see her. So, for example, a couple of months ago, she gave me diet cook books, and quizzed us about how much we out, because she thinks that eating out is a problem. Last December I went to Christmas dinner with his family, and that was the *worst* it's been -- first, my sweetie told his mother I don't eat blue cheese, so she wasn't going to put the dressing on the salad, but then she DUMPED a giant container of blue cheese crumbles on the salad. When I later politely declined a serving, she got upset at me. My sweetie said "She doesn't like blue cheese..." and his mother denied putting any in it. We couldn't tell if she had forgotten or what. But the final stroke was that most of the foods on the table were bad for me (carby) or just disgusting -- her salad, gross stuffing with giblets -- so I ended up with small portions of the bone dry turkey, macaroni and cheese, and bread I'd made. His mother leaned over the second time I refused her salad and said, "Well, look at your plate -- you won't eat the salad but you'll eat all that? That's why you're fat!"

You are so strong. Wow she sounds like a bleeeep. she must have her own issues.. people start picking on other people when they have self esteem issues of their own. and want the attention on someone else.. I am sorry you have to deal with her. I am not telling anyone either. thanks for sharing.. hugs

I cried half the way home in the car, because I had put up with that, and because of that, I have NO interest in that woman knowing about my surgery. So when my sweetie said, last week, "Oh, I told my mother you had surgery and she hopes you get well soon..." I was FURIOUS. I am not interested in that mean-spirited woman thinking she somehow influenced me, when in fact the opposite was true -- every time she did stuff like that to me, it made me sure I would NEVER have WLS.

Well, gosh--- that's been a bit of an off topic theraputic rant. But anyway, my point is, I support you having privacy. :-)

[Ilovecats1985 100]

I am keeping my surgery quiet. I've only told very few people. The people who I will need some help from post op. Other than that it's nobodies business.

[Smytty 93]

I agree tcoulombe30!

[RDub 57]

I have also sworn my husband to secrecy. I have only told one other person, and will probably tell my family AFTER surgery because they would a) try to talk me out of it and worry. I have broached the subject with other groups of friends and the response is overwhelmingly negative towards WLS. I just can't have that kind of negativity in my life right now. I may feel differently post-op, at least I hope I do.

[erykha 0]

I've struggled with the thought of telling my friends and family too. I'm sure I'll get the "well just start eating better and exercising" speech. Which is never helpful. I am not close to my family for a variety of reasons and would prefer to not tell them but my mother is the gossiper in the family and as soon as i tell her everyone will know. So she just won't get to know.

[Smallfry06 51]

I only told a hand full of people. They know I have the lap band and that I am going to get it removed and that's all. Some do know that I will have the sleeve done at the same time. I just don't feel like telling people my personal information.

[cookies_queen 74]

No I completely agree. I haven't told anyone but my significant other and do not plan on telling anyone else. I just don't want everyone asking me how much weight have you lost... Ect. I'm not trying to deceive anyone it's just my business.????????