I'm not sure how I managed to find the topic, but someone was recently lamenting (the loss of) and questioning his/her ability to drink at college parties (at the ripe ol' age of 20 something). The question was posed in possibly the most immature way.

Ever just want to shake people and/or give them a virtual kick in the ass? My initial thought was, really? Grow the F up and get your priorities straight.

The OP sort-of (iffy) redeemed the question later in the thread, but still.

Anyway, I'm not linking to the thread and/or mentioning names, but for the love of whatever, think before you post something. The OP is lucky people didn't go off on her - I know some of you rant & ravers were in the thread and showed major restraint.

Edited July 4, 201511 yr by no onions

I actually am not so even keeled about some things. The f****** drinking question drives me nuts.

I mean, worrying about when I can drink was the last damn thing on my mind before surgery. I was more worried about, oh I dunno, CHANGING MY LIFESTYLE BECAUSE I'M HAVING MAJOR SURGERY TO DO SO???

See. Not so even keeled.

I try to be patient but the repeat questions over "when can I do all the things that I am told not to?" or "when can I go back to eating anything and everything?" Those get me and drive me insane.

Also not gonna mention any names but the post I see every week that says something to the effect of "I walk 2-3 miles a day and only eat 500 calories but I don't lose" What a lie, not even possible.

I look at my husband and read them to him and he says "walk away" but it is like a train wreck and I have to look lmao

@@ShrinkingPeach

Just wait until you've been on here for a year or more. Eventually you do learn to just move on to the next topic before your head explodes.

I haven't been here long.....almost two weeks post surgery, so I probably shouldn't chime in. However, I'm happy to see other people besides me with their heads close to exploding. LOL

There do seem to be a lot of people who had this surgery who want to skip steps and/or eat things they shouldn't (and many within just a few weeks of surgery). It terrifies me.

But I think the worst ones for me are the posts that say something like, "I've been doing everything perfect, and I've lost 30 pounds in the past 4 weeks since surgery, but OMG.....I haven't lost anything in the past day!"

Sorry, I couldn't resist. Back to lurking. )

@@TakeitorSleeveit

LOL! You get it. Just after 2 weeks, you totally get it.

And your user name is awesome. I like the cut of your jib, my friend

Hope things are going well for you so far!

I have a lot of empathy for the people who haven't quite internalized the fact that in order to be successful, their lifestyles have to totally change. I was in their shoes early in the process. Even though I had read and researched and met with a nutritionist, I still, in the back of my head, thought I could keep doing things my way. It wasn't that I didn't have the facts. It just took me a while to accept them. So my head doesn't explode when I read those kinds of posts. I believe that these people can come to terms with their new way of life and be successful, especially when we, who understand what they are feeling, give them the benefit of our experience.

@@no onions I was one of " them" !!

There are two questions/posts that come up over and over that actually raise my blood pressure.

1. Whining about only losing 30lbs so far and I am already a month out. When in your life have you ever lost that much weight so quickly? It took you longer than a year to gain all this weight but you think it should just melt off overnight.

I seriously have to take deep breaths before responding so I do restrain what I really wNt to say. Oh and by the way, as soon as you start on soft foods and are released to eat a "normal" diet, weight loss will actually slow way down. But guess what, you will still lose.

2. I am stalled. I have not lost any weight over the last two days or 6 days. does this mean I have failed or am Done losing? "Insert panic here"

Ok, really? Get a grip. I think I actually grind my teeth every time I read one of these. Deep breaths and reassure them that this will not be the last time days God by without loss.

I recognize that there are a lot of people that are just beginning research but that panic just gets me every time.

This is just me but I researched so much prior to surgery and read everything my clinic gave me. I knew exactly what to expect before proceeding so maybe that is why I did not panic when these types of things occurred.

For the love of God, thankyou to everyone who posted all the above thoughts ! I just want to scream every time I read a post from someone who's whining because they cant eat /drink/party/celebrate/couch surf etc like they used to ! And loose weight too !! Really ? Seriously ? (No shit Batman ! Ya'think???) My favorite one was the person who actually updated her status with the whine fest of "I've gained 3 ounces, so depressed !!!" You. Have. Got. To. Be. Kidding. Me............................rant. over...............have a good day ! Happy 4th of July to all !!!

I have to be one of the bluntest people on this forum.

But 20-year-olds actually are immature. And many of them are far more impulsive than they'll be 5-10 years hence. Hell, their brains aren't even finished cooking yet. Bless their hearts ... and I don't mean that in the Southern way.

Likewise, it's sometimes hard being older and wiser with more experience and more insurance. Therefore, on a forum like this I can sometimes forgo cutting a young person's throat virtually.

And yes, later in the thread, she did rethink the subject and clarify her position.

For older people who whine repeatedly (not that we don't all have the occasional bad day) about pizza+beer, stalls, I simply realize they're probably not going to "make it." They probably don't have the proper nutritional education, counseling or therapy, intellectual or emotional intelligence, or other attributes that WLS requires for success.

Don't be mean. Those of us who do get it and are successful long-term are lucky in many ways. I also remember that this journey is never over, and that a challenge I stepped over easily last month could trip me up next month.

Finally, I'm feeling unusually charitable this Fourth of July as I think about the great fortune I had to be born in the United States and about all the opportunities freely available to me as a woman that I'd not have had if I'd been born in a number of other places and times.

Great point VSG...

Lots of us vets have to be patient when newbies ask about when nachos and pizza enter in...

I am thankful I was older when I had WLS and accepted the change in lifestyle my new life would entail.

And yes aren't we lucky to live in a place that let's everyone have vocal opinions about anything????????????????

Happy fourth⭐️

i do remember on a post a few days ago someone did give the OP a reality check and a few moaned about people being harsh to newbies (she was post op). The reality is you should know what you are getting into, know what you need to do to suceed and know that its a tool not a quick fix. I have no doubt that these posts will continue forever and a day.

And relax ~~ lol ~~

Kate

I am pre-op so maybe I shouldn't vent since I haven't had the experience yet... but I have been thinking the same thing! From people who eat bacon when they should be drinking liquids to people who just want to know how soon they can return to their comfort foods... I always have that "should of had a V8" moment where I just want to thump them on the head! I also don't get food funerals, if I am being really honest. To each their own but to me that is like raising the white flag before the enemy troops even show up. But to each their own. For me the point of this surgery is to teach me how to change so that I eat like an average healthy human! I have been craving tortellini for the last 2 weeks... like really hard core craving it. However, if someone told me right now it was pasta or the surgery, would I cancel my surgery? HELL NO! I want to add extra days, months, and years to my life. No beer, pizza, bacon, soda, or straws are worth dying for. /endrant

And to look at this from a different perspective than I wrote from above ... I've seen / known WLS patients who gained all their weight back because they couldn't give up sweet tea. Or wheat thins.

Jeez.

Louise.

There's a huge difference between not knowing what you're getting into, and willful ignorance. The latter of the two is where I get annoyed. Don't ask me to justify your bad choices. Especially if you are newly post op and can damage something by said bad choices.

I mean, let's not kid ourselves into thinking that all these people have not had some kind of guidance before surgery. Some no, but most have. So in my opinion, most are just asking for justification to go against their plan.

I'm not going to pat them on the head and give them a "there, there". Sometimes a little tough love is in order.