How does everyone deal with the feelings of wishing you could've lost the weight and kept it off with diet & exercise alone..and achieve that?

I would obviously feel awesome if I could do it, but after a million times trying in 10+ years...it's not working!

I am in the process of getting wls, but I keep holding onto this feeling of failure or the feeling of wishing I could accomplish my weight loss goal with diet & exercise, I know getting wls is not taking the easy way out and it still takes work but I wish there was a way to not tell anyone about it...but close family & friends are going to know of course when I can't eat much for awhile & when they see me thru the recovery process.

How does everyone deal with the feelings of wishing you could've lost the weight and kept it off with diet & exercise alone..and achieve that?

I would obviously feel awesome if I could do it, but after a million times trying in 10+ years...it's not working!

I am in the process of getting wls, but I keep holding onto this feeling of failure or the feeling of wishing I could accomplish my weight loss goal with diet & exercise, I know getting wls is not taking the easy way out and it still takes work but I wish there was a way to not tell anyone about it...but close family & friends are going to know of course when I can't eat much for awhile & when they see me thru the recovery process.

Well I was in the same boat but didnt care what others thought. We seem to have some of the same things in common, ht wt and longevity of trying not only to lose weight but to keep it off for a lifetime. I am 6 days post op and after being denied twice by my insurance company there is not one thing I would have done different. So GIRL......Go for it. I don't believe you will be sorry.

I guess I feel like more of a failure in losing and keeping the weight off because I know I am capable of it with diet & exercise...but my emotional eating (worse with having a mood disorder), constant hunger, cravings & out of control appetite make it so hard..in addition to that I can't stick to anything to save my life, I go from diet to diet and practically starving myself at times until I end up binge eating by the 3rd day and the cycle continues..but are all these good reasons to get wls? Are these some or all of the same problems others have that had surgery to lose the weight and keep it off?

I don't have any health problems that cause weight gain, but I do take required medications that contribute to increased appetite & slower metabolism.

I don't know who I am trying to prove all this to? :-/ I guess only myself. Because I really shouldn't care about anyone else's opinion, but I wish I had the willpower and motivation and dedication, etc to do this on my own, but I haven't been able to in the last 12 years so I deserve a solution to be happy with how I look and feel

And with this new "tool" I am confident that I can achieve that.

I guess I feel like more of a failure in losing and keeping the weight off because I know I am capable of it with diet & exercise...but my emotional eating (worse with having a mood disorder), constant hunger, cravings & out of control appetite make it so hard..in addition to that I can't stick to anything to save my life, I go from diet to diet and practically starving myself at times until I end up binge eating by the 3rd day and the cycle continues..but are all these good reasons to get wls? Are these some or all of the same problems others have that had surgery to lose the weight and keep it off?

I don't have any health problems that cause weight gain, but I do take required medications that contribute to increased appetite & slower metabolism.

I don't know who I am trying to prove all this to? :-/ I guess only myself. Because I really shouldn't care about anyone else's opinion, but I wish I had the willpower and motivation and dedication, etc to do this on my own, but I haven't been able to in the last 12 years so I deserve a solution to be happy with how I look and feel

And with this new "tool" I am confident that I can achieve that.

Why do you need to take these medications? Cant you just control your health issues on your own? Without the medications? If you can just find enough willpower, motivation & dedication then surely you shouldn't need the help of these medications? See my point?

I am a very motivated and dedicated person but I had something I still needed help with and thank goodness I had the option of receiving that help.

You don't fix a cavity on your own, you see a denist, right ? Same with a broken leg (a cast and crutches )hearing problem ( a hearing aid ) eyesight problems (glasses or contacts) etc. If someone said " I have a drinking problem and Im going to work wth my Dr. and rehab so I can live a long , healthy life !" , well nobody would tell them to "solve it by themselves " would they ?? I dont think so !!! They would be congratulated for making a smart decision !! Same with WLS. YOU are making a smart decision to get a strong , healthier body. So, CONGRATULATE yourself !!!!

How is having a major surgery, counting everything that goes into your mouth, making sure you take lots of Vitamins on time every day, getting enough Protein in, exercising every day, and getting enough liquids in for the rest of your life taking the easy way out.???? I must say it's kinda hard but soooooooooooooo worth it. Mine was 6/17/13 137 lb. loss

I guess I feel like more of a failure in losing and keeping the weight off because I know I am capable of it with diet & exercise...but my emotional eating (worse with having a mood disorder), constant hunger, cravings & out of control appetite make it so hard..in addition to that I can't stick to anything to save my life, I go from diet to diet and practically starving myself at times until I end up binge eating by the 3rd day and the cycle continues..but are all these good reasons to get wls? Are these some or all of the same problems others have that had surgery to lose the weight and keep it off?

I don't have any health problems that cause weight gain, but I do take required medications that contribute to increased appetite & slower metabolism.

I don't know who I am trying to prove all this to? :-/ I guess only myself. Because I really shouldn't care about anyone else's opinion, but I wish I had the willpower and motivation and dedication, etc to do this on my own, but I haven't been able to in the last 12 years so I deserve a solution to be happy with how I look and feel

And with this new "tool" I am confident that I can achieve that.

there is medication that I will stop need for along time due to mental disorders ,plz don't beat yourself up..I just have to work harder..everyone's different..Its not a matter of self discipline or willpower or lack thereof it's a real struggle and I still do daily. I'm not saying it's an excuse so I don't wanna start a war of words or opinions with anyone I understand what your saying. When I had my total thyroid work up I had to go on armour med and it helped alot but still struggling with emotional eating. Hang in there. I take 1 day at a time. Xx ????

I believe the type of surgery does matter......granted, I don't have experience with bypass or th sleeve, but I know from my experience the mere presence of the band wrapped around the upper portion of my stomach sends a constant message to my brain that I am "Full"..and do not need to eat anymore.

A mental note of being "Full", not a physical feeling.

That in itself cure a lot of my pre-surgery eating issues, and adding other factors such as the inability to over eat whether I wanted to or not, eventually all add up to a simple formula.

But getting there was very hard, frustrating, and at times I wanted to give up...because with the band it is a process, not an overnight thing.

But then, all this is from MY experience only...not what others may experience.

I *AM* doing it through diet and exercise. The surgery keeps me from rebounding.

I've always been amazing at losing weight - pitiful at keeping it off. Case in point; I'd lost almost 100 lbs as of Valentines day. I was feeling pretty smoking. All of a sudden, my left arm didn't work and I was falling a lot. Fast forward to two and a half months later - I wasn't able to work out, I hit the Skittles and Potato chips instead of the chicken and green Beans. I've gained four pounds.

Before surgery, in that same time frame, I'd have gained at least 20 - possibly 40. Much easier to get back on track (aka Diet and Exercise) and lose 4 plus the other 80 than have to relose 40 and still go the other 80.

I recognize that my experience isn't the same as everyone's - but it's also not unique. The sleeve is *NOT* an easy way to lose weight, and it is *NOT* the easy way out. It is an awesome tool, though, if you're dedicated to using diet and exercise to get your health back.

"You don't fix a cavity on your own, you see a denist, right ? Same with a broken leg (a cast and crutches )hearing problem ( a hearing aid ) eyesight problems (glasses or contacts) etc. If someone said " I have a drinking problem and Im going to work wth my Dr. and rehab so I can live a long , healthy life !" , well nobody would tell them to "solve it by themselves " would they ?? I dont think so !!! They would be congratulated for making a smart decision !! Same with WLS. YOU are making a smart decision to get a strong , healthier body. So, CONGRATULATE yourself !!!!

Actually, this is an analogy I use for myself when speaking at support groups, etc....

I had a problem that needed medical attention, needed fixing....compare it to knee replacement, etc.

Something I was unable to do on my own (with traditional diets, etc) but had to be done.

So I went through surgery to "Get it fixed"....afterward I needed o go through rehab, to learn how to walk again with my new knees....and eventually I completed that rehab, adapted all the new habits until they become 2nd nature.....

Then I got back to my life...better than ever!

I didn't dwell on the surgery healing or rehab phase.although at the time it was tough...pure hell sometimes......didn't think it would pay off at all sometimes.....but I continued to move on....and eventually everything became "New Habits"

I could care less what other people think...I am me, and I did what was best for me.....and I'd be dead if I didn't so why should I apologize or feel guilty??

Saw this sign today.............. " You can't make everyone happy, you're not a jar of Nutella !!" So for those that are getting no support, or very little, or even some negitive smack talk, about WLS, or anything else, quit worrying about every one else's opinion. Make YOURSELF happy. That is all.

I don't see why people might say to a person you cheated you took the easy way I say to them it's my life and not yours and it's not your business what I do and how I do it. They think the surgery makes you loose the weight even if your stuffing your face in front of the Tv but they are so wrong you need to work hard to loose weight.

When I made the decision to have surgery, that was it for me. I wasn't scared, I didn't cheat, I set goals, I was laser focused. It wasn't until I was at the hospital and the nurse had just given me the IV that I broke down. I couldn't believe that I had allowed myself to get this way that I had to have surgery to fix it.

I promised that day no going back and I've maintained that laser focus. Find your moment.

Losing weight is hard. Maintaining that loss is harder. The longer you do it, the harder it gets. Having had WLS makes it easier and possible for me. Before WLS it was super hard, unsuccessful, and demoralizing to work that hard without success. So now I work hard, but at least I'm rewarded.

So while I don't want to offend anyone, I always feel like it's easier-for ME. I am not including the actual decision to have surgery, the prep time, or the actual surgery in that. I'm only referring to the comparison for the difficulty I experienced trying to restrict calories pre and post surgery. Before surgery I had a ridiculous drive to eat, all the time. Now, normal meals satisfy me, and then I can forget it. That is a night and day difference.

As another poster said, it's the only way out for me. And I don't feel a bit bad about it. I feel pretty darn good about a 140+ pound weight loss and my single digit clothes and my perfectly healthy body. Honestly, I wish it was easy. I'd feel even better about that!

Well said MC????

Before WLS, I felt good and relatively successful into life... Except that one huge issue of being fat ... And yes I could lose some. But maintaining my weight was by far the hardest issue I faced.

Now I still must eat right and exercise and drink lots of water... But I can stay at the weight that is right for me

For years... (Never could after I had gained weight with kids and a mean spirited marriage)

Life is better for me at a smaller size

As I hope it is for many????

I don't struggle with this feeling because it's not easy.

I somewhat struggle with the possibility that others will perceive this as taking the easy way out, but then I realize that most people that haven't had WLS don't know **** about it and therefore their opinions don't matter.

If it was easy, every overweight person would do it. If it was easy, it would just be "the way." It's not easy. It's a complete lifestyle change FOREVER. It's relearning how to eat and properly treat your body for life. You didn't cheat. You did what you had to do to take your life back. I refuse to take this second chance at living to the fullest for granted.

Edited May 5, 201511 yr by blashlee