How does everyone deal with the feelings of wishing you could've lost the weight and kept it off with diet & exercise alone..and achieve that?

I would obviously feel awesome if I could do it, but after a million times trying in 10+ years...it's not working!

I am in the process of getting wls, but I keep holding onto this feeling of failure or the feeling of wishing I could accomplish my weight loss goal with diet & exercise, I know getting wls is not taking the easy way out and it still takes work but I wish there was a way to not tell anyone about it...but close family & friends are going to know of course when I can't eat much for awhile & when they see me thru the recovery process.

As I predicted in an earlier post on this thread, @@Butterfly512, you're getting tons of comments! In fact, I'll bet if an analysis were to be performed, the term "easy way out" generates more response than anything else on BP. Okay, since I'm an analyst by day, I'll do a quick one.

Check this out...

There are 40 pages of topics that include the words "easy way out", in that order, in one or more posts.

There are roughly 25 topics per page.

So that's roughly 1,000 topics on BP that include the phrase.

So then I sorted that data set to find the 25 threads that generated the most responses.

There were 197,852 total responses to the top 25 topics that include the phrase "easy way out".

And that doesn't include the other 975 topics with the phrase. So that's probably 200,000 or more responses, folks! What this shows is that whenever those words are mentioned, it touches a raw nerve in all of us who are working our butts off to get healthy! Pretty interesting stuff, eh?!!

Have a great weekend everyone who's taking, or hoping to take the "easy way out"! We've earned it!!!

And I hit my final stretch goal of 120 pounds down today, so this seems like a nice way to celebrate!

@BLERDgirl@BLERDgirl@BLERDgirl

I notice quite a few people who have replied are not banded and you say on your profile that you are getting the band. Do be aware it is harder for us! I am living proof it is easier than without surgery. But banding is the option which gives you least help as you still have a fully functioning stomach etc and the band only slows eating, it should never stop it. It is more common for banded people not to reach goal than for people with the other surgeries.

I don't think the type of WLS matters. OP is struggling with feeling as if she's "taking the easy way out". Hopefully by now it's pretty apparent that whether you are banded, sleeved, bypass or any variation of that WLS is NOT an easy way out. It take hard work and determination.

Yes, not only did I understand what she was asking, I answered her in totally relevant detail in a post early in the thread. Does it somehow offend you that I chose to offer her a separate comment based on my experience? And I didn't say any wls was easy! I said they were all hard!

@@Rogofulm - Great job!! Congrats!!!

Congrats @@Rogofulm!!

I enjoyed reading this thread more than many, many others . IT IS REAL

We have gone through the portal to the other side.

We all are different ages, sizes ,surgeries ... Yet there is total consensus on the value of our current lives vs the other side.

I also truly enjoyed no infighting, (rare) which kinda turns me away from some threads... I know it gets heated and I like an educated discussion but.....

We all agree NOT THE EASY WAY OUT!

BTW. Thanks for the statistician..????that would be rog.

I am glad I started such a good thread :-) & it definitely has given me the advice and support I had hoped for in my decision to have wls.. thank you to everyone & it's so nice to see the responses and people coming together on this.

Sure, I wish I could have lost weight without the lap-band. I also wish I could have gone through life without gaining an extra 100 pounds in the first place. I also wish I had a million dollars and a private jet.

Everyone has their own circumstances to deal with in life. For those of us who are WLS patients, we just couldn’t manage our weight without WLS. It’s okay. Ideally, yes, I definitely agree with you that it would be nice to be able to be healthy and lose weight without WLS. In my real life? I needed help, and WLS gave it to me.

By the way…you’re not taking the easy way out. You’ll unfortunately learn that as soon as you start to have struggles. We all do.

It sure isn't the easy way out but if that's what people want to call it, so be it. There are too many ways to get help in this day in age without having to suffer it out. I'm about living life smart and not hard. It's about life choices and what works for you, and makes you a better person. IMO.

It is definitely not the easy way out. And why do you have to tell anybody? It's not anybody's business. My husband a three of my closest friends knew because I knew I needed a support group to make it successfully. Think about it ... all the surgery does is make your stomach smaller. If you put bad food in a smaller stomach, you're still going to get bad results. You still have to walk through the bakery at the grocery store to get to the fruits and veggies; you still have to drive by the restaurants; you still have to exercise; you still have to make the right choices! If you're not willing to do that, then all the weight loss surgery in the world is not going to do any good. It's a tool in a big toolbox. So, you see, it's not the easy way out at all!

@@ilikecake2much

@@Butterfly512 I feel the exact same way. And you know what? The truth is you (and I) probably CAN "do it on our own". But you know what else? We would probably also gain it all back and then some. What is making the decision easier for me is knowing the facts - about 97% of people who lose weight with diet and exercise will gain it all back. We are more likely to keep MOST of the weight off long term with WLS. That is what seals the deal for me. Yes, I could eat healthy and exercise and slowly lose weight. But I have done that so many times and it has always ended in me gaining it all back and more. Its time for me to try something better. Something proven to have a higher success rate.

Sorry my post above didn't come out right.

I meant to mention "ilikecake2much" as winning the unofficial best name on the forum contest!

Thanks! @@Mike4132

@@Butterfly512, having surgery is not the easy way out. It's difficult but not as difficult as losing weight on your own. The difficult thing (other than the recovery period that won't last too long) is giving up those foods and not being able to eat as much as you think you would like to eat. I miss breads and pastas, I miss carbs.... but I don't miss them as much as I LOVE having the weight gone. And by the way, you don't have to tell anyone about your surgery.... it is nobody's business but yours. I told my husband and my daughter but nobody else. I told everyone I was on a diet and I was. I still am!!! Don't worry about the surgery, think of it as a wonderful gift and go with it. You will get your life back and you will be so much happier. My whole outlook on life has changed. Best of luck and hope you get a surgery date soon.

Well, as so many others have said, it is not the easy way out and you will see that when you have this done.

BUT I will say that for me, after 35 years of struggle and yo-yo dieting, this was the BEST way out and I don't regret it for a second. Hard? YEP Worth it times 100? YEP

I am not shouting my WLS procedure from the rooftops but I certainly have not hidden it from anyone. When it comes up I speak of it as if I am the luckiest person in the world to have received this gift, and I truly believe that I am. I have had no negative responses and if I ever do they can simply kiss my SKINNY butt!!

I suspect once you are a few years post op you will no longer view this as "the easy way out". For me, nothing easy about it... I view it as "the only way out"