How does everyone deal with the feelings of wishing you could've lost the weight and kept it off with diet & exercise alone..and achieve that?

I would obviously feel awesome if I could do it, but after a million times trying in 10+ years...it's not working!

I am in the process of getting wls, but I keep holding onto this feeling of failure or the feeling of wishing I could accomplish my weight loss goal with diet & exercise, I know getting wls is not taking the easy way out and it still takes work but I wish there was a way to not tell anyone about it...but close family & friends are going to know of course when I can't eat much for awhile & when they see me thru the recovery process.

It would have been nice to be able to do it on my own without the surgery. However, I approached my WLS with the attitude that everyone needs help with something and I needed it to help me lose weight.

Try not to beat yourself up that this is the "easy way out". There are plenty of people who seek medical attention for things they can't fix on their own and no one judges them. People use washing machines instead of hand washing clothes. Drive cars instead of walking, the list can go on...

I think if you hold your head high and act proud of your decision it makes it harder for people to make catty comments. I have only had one person ask me if I thought it was too extreme and why didn't I just exercise. I just replied that this was something me and my doctor felt was best for me and I do not question their healthcare decisions so don't question mine. That shut them up!!

Congratulations on your decision to take back your health!! WLS is a fabulous tool for the path to health. Best decision I have ever made and I make no excuses for it!!!

I am almost 3 weeks post op, and it is soooooooooooo not easy!!!!!!!

Obesity is a medical condition and Bariatric surgery is a treatment for it. No different from other diseases which some indivuals are able to control with less invasive measures while others need those measures. I elected to tell everyone and have only had positive responses.

I can't count how many times I've dieted and lost 50-60lbs, only to gain back 80lbs. I finally said enough. Did not feel ashamed. I actually felt enlightened. I felt like finally I have the help the I need to make the choices I need and not gain it all back. I agree with earlier posts, it's not the easy way out. I'll say this is more work than any diet I've ever been on before! As far as telling ppl, you don't have to tell them exactly what you're doing. Just tell them you had some medical stuff done and you just aren't hungry. I have IBS and had an episode with CDiff that landed me in the hosp. I only told 3 close friends and my mom. No one else. The rest I just tell I'm watching what I eat and cutting down sizes and exercising, all true. And family I tell I had a medical procedure due to my IBS to try and help. Also technically true. No one has ever guessed a thing. Good luck!

I too would have loved to be able to do this by myself. Actually I've spent over 25 years yo yo dieting, losing then gaining it all back. Trust me this is not the easy way out, it is a helpful tool. Never thought I'd say that. There were many times during the six months before that I was ready to give up and the week before surgery I was second guessing myself. Everyone kept telling me if you can lose 20 pounds in 6 months why can't you continue. No one understood I was starving to lose that weight, never full always hungry and sad, so sad and embarassed with myself and my looks. This is so not the easy way out, I can tell you with my experience the first two weeks after surgery were the worst, not the pain from the surgery but the pain from the gas in my shoulder, and I was so sick of Protein shakes. My cravings were still there and still are but now I'm FULL for the first time in my life I can't actually say that. It is the best feeling in the world. Sure you'll still want more but your stomach won't and it will let you know. I totally eat better and exercise all the time. I'll be 11 weeks out this Thursday and I feel great. I'm down 35 lbs since surgery and I've gone from a size 20 to 12. Looking forward to getting off more meds too. So, good luck to you in whatever direction you choose. Just make sure you do this for you, no one else. take care

It's as much if not more about keeping it off rather than taking it off. I'm only two years post WLS and only maintaining for a few months so even I don't know what the future holds. But my hope is that this tool helps me to keep it off.

I lost alot of weight about 20 years ago and said I'd never get fat again. Guess what? I not only gained it all back, I added another 40 lbs. more and destroyed my knees and hips in the process. I now have metal hips and 150 fewer pounds on my frame. I can move and walk around like a normal person. This alone is miraculous to me.

I have a ten year old granddaughter who knew me fat and now knows me thin. I hope she forgets what fat grandma looked like. I have a grandson only days away from coming into the world. I hope he never knows anything other than grandma as she looks right this minute.

If this band helps me to achieve that, I couldn't give a rat's ass what anyone else thinks. (By the way, I've had nothing but positive feedback so don't presume you won't have the same)

Good luck!

I harbor no feelings of guilt as I can truthfully attest that I have tried every diet under the sun, exercised myself into the ground, and have lived under a self imposed umbrella of shame for the majority of my life, simply because I have failed to measure up to society's acceptable level of "beauty." Yet beauty isn't even even my end goal at this stage in my life, health is my holy grail.

This past year while waiting for surgery, fulfilling every hurdle placed in front of me by my mandated insurance requirements, including losing 10 percent of my pre op weight and maintaining it for over six months, I have never worked harder in my life. I've been overweight since I was a child and I refuse to live in the shadows for one day longer. In answer to the question of "Did you take the easy way out?" I would answer: "I got to the finish line. Does it really matter what route I took to get there?"

I know a lot of people who have had their surgery say their only regret is not having done it sooner. When I get there (I hope to have my surgery sometime this summer), I don't think I'll be concentrating on that. Instead I find myself, even now, just thanking my lucky stars that I live in a time where surgical technology has advanced to the point that I can even have it done! With the unbelievable bonus of having my insurance cover it. Does it get any better than that!

I am almost positive about my decision to get the procedure done, I have an appointment today to get the process started..to those of you saying how hard it is and that it's still tough after surgery, that is one of my worries, the emotional eating & mental aspect of it..I have bipolar disorder and all the stupid problems that go along with it :-/ ..but I do feel like my only stress and depression comes from me being overweight and unhappy about how I look and feel..I am afraid I won't be able to handle the way it could affect my emotions/moods & stress factors but at the same time...if I use food to fill the void of being overweight and unhappy with that, then losing the weight finally with this "tool" should be a great solution.

I quit smoking 1 1/2 years ago..when I found out I was pregnant with my son, that was extremely difficult. ..I kind of turned to food even more after that, so I hope another bad habit doesn't replace food after this..But plain and simple..if the stress & depression is taken away by losing weight and being happy again in that way. .I feel that everything will fall into place in a positive way.

Anyone else have a similar situation that has had a great experience as the outcome after wls?

@@Butterfly512 - Let's get one thing very clear, the "easy" thing would be to sit on your tush and do nothing. The "easy" thing would be to live a miserable existence instead of embracing this wonderful tool. You are not taking the easy way out -- this isn't easy. Anyone who tells you this is the easy way out can suck a fat one.

It took me years to finally allow myself this gift and I couldn't more excited. I've faced my share of hiccups along the way but I can't wait to begin my new life. Use this forum to air out anything you need to, I do. It's been such a wonderful resource for me.

GOOD LUCK!

A lot of people post that 'others' have told them they're taking the easy way out, and that always touches a raw nerve in this Forum! Since you're the one that's feeling that way, you probably won't get scorched by the responses. But so you'll be as well-informed as possible about this decision you're about to make, I'm going to let you in on what this deal is REALLY about.

A message from someone who had gastric sleeve surgery, lost about 120 pounds, and is now living below goal weight.....

Is this the easy way out? Well, yes and no.

Yes, because the smaller stomach helps me control my appetite and the amount of food I can take in. Initially (but not forever), calories are greatly restricted because of the lesser volume consumed, but good choices still have to be made every single time I put something in my mouth.

And...

No, it's not easy, because since making this decision I have:

• Taken nutritional counseling classes
• Attended monthly bariatric support group meetings
• Been evaluated by a psychologist
• Been evaluated by a cardiologist
• Been evaluated by a pulmonologist
• Had an upper GI evaluation
• Had a complete physical by my primary care physician
• Gone through a two-week pre-operative liquid diet
• Gone through and recovered from a major surgical procedure that removed 80% of my stomach
• Gone through a two-week post operative liquid diet
• Gone through a two-week soft food diet
• Eaten zero starches (bread, Pasta, rice, potatoes, pizza, etc.)
• Eaten zero sugary Desserts (cake, pie, pudding, ice cream, candy, etc.)
• Eaten very few fruits
• Had zero fruit juices
• Had zero sodas
• Had zero alcoholic beverages
• Eaten 80–100 grams of Protein every single day
• Not had anything to drink for 30-45 minutes before eating
• Not had anything to drink with meals
• Not had anything to drink for 30-45 minutes after eating
• But still managed to drink 64–120 ounces of fluids every single day
• Always eaten protein first
• Always eaten non-starchy vegetables second (and there's never room for anything else)
• Exercised 5-6 times a week
• Logged everything I ate or drank for several months, and again whenever my weight loss slowed
• And through it all, I've watched my friends and family eat and drink whatever they want at restaurants, birthdays, dinner parties, sporting events, New Year's, Valentine's Day, St. Patrick's Day, Easter, 4th of July, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and so on....

Now, does that sound "the easy way"? Not by a long shot! (Just compare the 'yes' and 'no' sections above.) But it is a tool that makes the likelihood of long-term success much better than it would be without it. And, of course, now I'm starting maintenance, where I have to learn how to eat, exercise, and live in such a way as to not regain the weight I've lost – for the rest of my life! The easy way? Yeah, right!

Thank you everyone for your input, advice & encouraging words.

Overall, I feel like the hell I have gone thru for the last 12 years with the back n forth dieting, feeling like a failure everytime, beating myself up over it & being depressed almost everyday at some point due to my weight/appearance. ..it can't get any worse ..only better!

I can go thru the tough parts of this knowing I have a lifelong tool to keep the weight off, and that the depression, stress and feeling tired and out of shape all the time will come to an end as long as I do my part.

Yes, I am trying to make sure I consider every aspect before I make this life changing decision but getting reviews & feedback from people that have gone thru it definitely helps :-)

There is absolutely nothing easy about making the decision and ultimately having weight loss surgery. It is a mental battle that one fights daily. You simply have a tool to help control the amount of food you put in your body. You, are still in charge of what you put in your body.

You will still deal with and learn to control head hunger. You will have to pay very close attention to your intake of Protein, Vitamins and Water. You will potentially go through a period where you mourn the foods that you love. You will have to come to terms with a whole new relationship with food.

Obesity is a disease and most people do not understand what that means. It means years and years of weight gain, loss and then gaining more. It means down the road you will likely have comorbitities that can actually take your life early.

At the end of the day the only advice I can give you is that you MUST be ready before you move forward. If you go into this with a scared negative attitude, you will struggle with this whole new life required of you.

I can tell you from the shirt experience I have had, it is all worth it, absolutely, positively. I was in the place where my comorbitities were actually killing me. Slowly and painfully. Now, I am very very healthy and most important, I feel fantastic. A whole new life.

I was ready, and excited and I try to keep a positive attitude even when things are tough. It helps me to live with my decision.

My only regret is I did not do this 10 years earlier.

I wish the best of luck for you. Just please make sure you are ready before you move forward.

As far as depression...although not bipolar, I've dealt with depression for years. It's always worse when I'm at my highest weight. I have found that losing 57lbs so far, I don't hate myself as much. Might actually even agree to be in a picture or two. It's horrible what we put on ourselves. As long as you have a therapist you can talk to or a friend to help through the emotional roller coaster you do go through on this journey, I think you'll be fine.

Ha! Once you have the surgery, you will understand there is nothing "easy" about it. The process of getting approval is a whole ordeal. The surgery itself and the recovery time. The HUGE sacrifice you are making in terms of what you will and won't be able to do/eat ever again. And you are still going to have to track your food and exercise regularly to actually lose the weight.

I feel guilty for taking the "easy" way out. I feel ashamed that unlike "normal" people I couldn't control my weight with diet and exercise. I have told my three best friends and I have no intention of ever telling anyone else, largely because I know that most people think bariatric surgery is the easy way out and it attaches a stigma to you. Oh, look, the fat girl got skinny because she had her stomach cut out- what a total cheaterhead. Must be nice to take the easy way out! I am fully aware that that is exactly what everyone who has never struggled with food and most people who have not had the surgery feel about it and I am fine with that. We are all allowed our opinions and I don't put my decision in a position where other people can judge me for it.

That being said, I wouldn't say this was the easy way out. Was it easier? Yes. I have gained and lost 50-90 pounds no less than 5 times in 10 years. This last time with the sleeve was the easiest because for the first time ever I don't feel like I am starving, while forcing myself not to eat. The first time I lost weight was in high school and I had a small bag of craisins for Breakfast, 2 packs of 2ct saltines for lunch, I worked out for 2 hours at the gym and I had yogurt and oatmeal for dinner. Yuck! I was always hungry and always miserable but I graduated at about 120. As an adult, my successful diets were those where I ate 2-3 Protein bars a day and a Lean Cuisine, worked out 2-4 hours a night, and was completely miserable trying to not eat. One day, I inevitably gave in and I binged, and I would literally gain back 5 pounds in a day then spend the next week trying to lose them all over again. I had a hate-hate relationship with food because I was always SO hungry but whenever I ate anymore than 1200 calories I felt like a failure and I would end up eating way more than that as an emotional reaction. As such, I reached my personal tipping point at 237 pounds in August of 2013.

My brother and sister came to visit me that summer and while neither of them would ever say a word, I know they were ashamed that the person that was supposed to be their cool older sister was so disgusting. I decided then that I would look into sleeve surgery. Since I was self-pay, the point between my first meeting with the group of people who wanted to hear about the surgery to the day I was rolled into the OR was a little under 3 weeks. The first two weeks I thought I had ruined my life. What the heck had I done?! I cut out 20% of my stomach forever?! OMG I am an idiot.

There as a lot of crying and feeling miserable and since I was self-pay there had been no pre-diet or nutritionist or group support, so I figured I could get on board with figuring out my new stomach or, well there was no other option. I didn't follow all the rules and I still don't, but for the first time in my life I can actually eat like a person who doesn't obsess over food. If I want to go out to dinner, I do. I eat a few bites and I save the rest for later. If I want some chips with nacho cheese, I have some, I enjoy them, and then I'm over it. The last month or so I haven't been watching my calories as closely as possible partly because I just had my last plastics surgery and partly because I know what I can and can't eat to maintain or lose at the weight I'm at. Food is no longer calling my name every second of the day and when I eat too fast, too much, or anything with butter, fat, or excess sugar, I pretty much throw up instantly, so I've been conditioned to stay away from that food.

My sleeve has made my life something other than a life about food. Sure, it was easier to not have to starve myself and worry about binging, and it is far easier to maintain now than it would be with a full stomach. I will admit, I just don't have the willpower when it comes to food to not eat an entire pan of brownies, so like an alcoholic who doesn't go to bars, I am just a food person who doesn't have the option anymore to eat too much. The sleeve is a tool and it does make things easier, but if you have a tool available to you, why in the world wouldn't you use it?

Now I can't enjoy food anymore, I have a hard time going out to dinner with people because I can't eat much, and I barf fairly regularly. I have to take B12 and Iron because I'm anemic and sometimes I worry about whether or not the sleeve far into the future will be bad for me. But right this second, I am very happy to have it and very happy I took the easy way out because I would rather have done so and be healthy and thin than still be overweight and miserable, fighting the hard fight and getting nowhere. I am a weight loss cheater...and I am cool with that.