Venting About Poor Forum Etiquette

[beachgurl84 456]

Yes, it is easier to read a post with good grammar. However some people have not had the opportunity to learn good grammar. They should feel comfortable here anyway. This isn't Harvard Law Review.

Perhaps you could consider blocking posts from members whose grammar continually offends you.

I think most folks here have already experienced enough criticism and are here looking for a safe place to become more informed.

This is so perfectly stated and true (in my opinion) that I had to quote it in its entirety.

I don't come around here that much anymore and part of that is because of some of the backbiting and criticism just for the sake of complaining that I've witnessed. I truly believe that most people are doing the best they can based on the knowledge they have and it's sad to me that we have those who want to complain about grammar of all things. Some people are struggling right where they are in life and we have people who want them to use the internet to educate themselves about grammar before they'll deign to answer their questions.

So many things I'd like to say on it but why add more negativity? Instead I'll thank you again @@emma4884, for your kind response.

I really must thank you for going out of your way to return to this website, go out of the way of the main topics, all the way to rants and raves, to pick up my vent (clearly stated it was a vent) that included multiple topics, just to enlighten us that this is the reason you don't come around anymore. Perhaps you should read my #1 topic first.

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

I participate in online forums a lot and am used to communities where other members are also experienced online community members.

This joint, on the other hand, attracts a lot of people who appear to have never been in an online community before. They are not only uncomfortable being online with others who aren't from their own cultures or backgrounds, but seem shocked that there are others online who share their need for WLS while having little else in common with them.

So then this culture battle develops when the newbie side has a reaction to others' language or sense of humor or lifestyle or "morality" or "ethics." And threads that started out interestingly enough turn into "You're not polite enough or sincere enough or humble enough or kind enough or empathetic enough or succinct enough or too straightforward or too rude or ... blah, blah, blah."

I'll remind anyone who cares that your style isn't everyone's style. And to those who just want strokes for being lazy, I suggest you go hire someone who'll tell you what you pay them to say. And if you want to pay me to stroke your idiocy, please PM me and I'll tell you where to send my check.

(And now there will be the obligatory posts about how this is a *support* group and we're not supposed to offer any authentic feedback.)

[CanyonBaby 1,852]

And as for the grammar-thing, I think most people are just in a hurry, and can't be bothered with grammar. So are we to be proper in all areas before we get a response, let alone a kind one? Education, or lack thereof, plays a large role here, as well. Not to mention the fact that this particular site tends to omit letters, punctuation, and sometimes complete WORDS. I can forgive that, who am I to judge? And if I am going to judge something so small, I fear for myself in all the REALLY bad things I do, say and think..... Yes, I deliberately did not put a period there, for emphasis' sake! Onto important things, now, like cat litter-box cleaning..........

[beachgurl84 456]

I guess I also need to contradict myself.....I have on multiple occasions answered questions written in the form of my example. Only when I can actually tell what is being asked. Most of the posts I'm referring to make it difficult to actually understand what is being asked. That's the point of grammar right? To make it so we can communicate effectively with each other. So to the reference of denying people information based on their grammar, yes according to my original post that would be correct. In reality it is not the case. Nor have I ever called anyone out in a post about the way things were written unless it involved the tone it was written in instead of the form.

[LipstickLady 25,682]

I don't believe in coddling people and their ignorance because they never had an opportunity to learn. The world is at their fingertips and if they don't know they're doing something wrong, they can't fix it. Encouraging it to continue because "they don't know better" does more harm than good.

Well then, it seems to me that we will see a lot of you correcting a lot of people on this forum. Otherwise, it would just be coddling them, wouldn't it?

[une nouvelle vie 327]

I really must thank you for going out of your way to return to this website, go out of the way of the main topics, all the way to rants and raves, to pick up my vent (clearly stated it was a vent) that included multiple topics, just to enlighten us that this is the reason you don't come around anymore. Perhaps you should read my #1 topic first.

Oh I read your first response, remember I'm the one who pointed out the structural mistakes you made while bitching about others?

Now let me help you with something else since you don't like people being ignorant: I didn't have to come back here and go out of the way of the main topics and seek out rants to pick up your quaint complaining. I came to the site and saw your post under "recent topics" and clicked on it.

Now you aren't as ignorant anymore about how people sometimes find posts on this site. I'm sure you're glad I'm helping you and you'll see it as such since your only wish is to help others with their own inadequacies. You're welcome in advance.

Edited April 1, 2015 by une nouvelle vie

[LipstickLady 25,682]

I guess I also need to contradict myself.....I have on multiple occasions answered questions written in the form of my example. Only when I can actually tell what is being asked. Most of the posts I'm referring to make it difficult to actually understand what is being asked. That's the point of grammar right? To make it so we can communicate effectively with each other. So to the reference of denying people information based on their grammar, yes according to my original post that would be correct. In reality it is not the case. Nor have I ever called anyone out in a post about the way things were written unless it involved the tone it was written in instead of the form.

Want me to point out the glaring grammatical errors in this post?

Nah... I'm just funning you. I would never do that. It's rude.

[beachgurl84 456]

I don't believe in coddling people and their ignorance because they never had an opportunity to learn. The world is at their fingertips and if they don't know they're doing something wrong, they can't fix it. Encouraging it to continue because "they don't know better" does more harm than good.

Well then, it seems to me that we will see a lot of you correcting a lot of people on this forum. Otherwise, it would just be coddling them, wouldn't it?

eh I dont' think not calling them out is coddling them. Just like someone asking me if a shirt makes them look fat. If it does, I'll say yes. If they don't ask, I won't say anything.

[beachgurl84 456]

I think everyone is missing the severity of the posts I'm referring to. Honestly, if you have a paragraph with more than 3 periods and a couple commas, I'm not going to pay attention to much else. It's the ones that are blatantly written in ignorance of the English language that make me cringe.

Editing to add that of course there may be a language barrier if English is not your first language. That is usually obvious and not what I am referring to. I applaud anyone that has the discipline to learn more than one language.

Edited April 1, 2015 by beachgurl84

[beachgurl84 456]

@@VSGAnn2014

Very good point about cultural differences that I hadn't considered.

[beachgurl84 456]

I love how everyone has focused on the least important of my 3 vents

[LipstickLady 25,682]

I love how everyone has focused on the least important of my 3 vents

Speaking only for myself, I focused on that one because the other two have merit in my opinion. Neither bother me as much as they appear to bother you, but I find the vent concerning grammar to be "unfair" for lack of a better word.

Perhaps because I was a special education teacher for children with learning disabilities or because my father is dyslexic and has trouble communicating correctly via the written word, I have more empathy.

[CanyonBaby 1,852]

Not to insult anyone here, it's just not in my nature; but I HAVE to say I am enjoying this SOOOOO much, and am getting such a good laugh (much to my lungs' dismay - cough, cough)! So can I say Happy April Fool's day, everyone, and don't let this make a fool of us all.....

[beachgurl84 456]

@@une nouvelle vie

Ok Ok calm down... you're partially right. I was wrong to jump on you like that and I am sorry (see I can be pleasant).

However, I don't understand people that go out of their way to post that they don't post here anymore because of what they're reading. If it offends you so much, why would you take the time to respond? I'm not being rhetorical, I would genuinely appreciate input on why people jump into threads just to complain about the person complaining and tell everyone that is the reason they don't frequent this site anymore. This is very relevant to my first topic of jumping in for the sake of attention. That may not be the case but it's how it appears to me.

Yes, I complained about a very unimportant factor in an online community. I was venting because I had read another thread where the OP was being badgered about their opinion because someone was offended even though the original post had nothing to do with what they were offended by. And while I was venting I laid it all out there. Now everyone may think I'm a grammar tyrant but that's not the case. I am seriously only referring to the post that are full of blatant laziness and lack of self respect for the way they are presented in an online community. I believe I have said that a few times in this thread already (or some variation thereof).

I stand by my statement that ignorance is not an excuse. I do mean genuine ignorance by those that have the ability to learn but are too lazy to do so. Disabilities, second language, mental barriers, I'm not referring to any of those. As a matter of fact, that is the reason I would never dare say something to someone outside of a vent in the appropriate section.

Edited April 1, 2015 by beachgurl84

[sharonintx 1,275]

@@VSGAnn2014 lol! These 3 words made my whole afternoon better:

" ... blah, blah, blah."

The way you just threw it in there....haha I loved it.