I can't believe this is happening today. After I swore to myself last June when I recieved the sleeve, it was a secret. I have had so much success with it and finally opened up to my sister in law this weekend.

She reacted exactly the way I knew she would. Judge judge judge!

Ugh....

All the typical stuff

"You didn't want to go to the gym"

"Easy way out"

As she said things like how could you not tell me?

Then she gossiped about it to friends and family member over the last 4 days!!!!!!!

Today she tells me she assumed it was ok to tell people.... And that if I wanted it a secret I shouldn't have told her!

I have no idea what to do next.... I am so embarrassed!!!!!

Trust no one seriously

This is the exact reason I'm scared to tell people! Obviously my husband knows and my parents. I told one close friend and that's it. My dad didn't have the best reaction when I first started contemplating this about a year ago but when I recently told him it was happening this fall he actually said he was happy for me. You never know how people will react. I assumed because he was overweight his whole life he would understand but it took him a little while to come around. It stinks she went on to tell lots of people, I'd see if she comes around and apologizes. If not maybe it's best to limit your interactions. You need good supportive people in your life to be successful!

Sounds like she is a busy body to start with. She needs more to do with her life than talk about yours. Bless her heart. Please do not let the judgement from her or others knock you off your game. I love this quote.." People gonna talk about you til the day you die. It doesn't matter what they call you it matters what you answer to." I would own that sh@$ like a boss! They wanted something to talk about.. I'd give it to them. Work your arse off and let them talk about your results! Good luck!

Sorry to hear about all the negative responses people can get. I will be sleeved in August and one of my sisters is very much against this surgery. Other than my sister, the response from friends and family has been very positive and supportive.

It seems that obesity is an epidemic that everyone has an opinion about. I feel like I'm tired of living in the shadows and if asked, I will be open about my journey. I want to help take away the stigma attached to WLS. I tired of being ashamed and I am excited to pave the way.

The support group and exercise classes that I have attended have been so helpful. I've met people in every phase of their journey.

I am so grateful for this opportunity and if I can help just one more person emerge from the shadows of obesity by knowing my story...I am glad to help!!

People are going to talk! Let them... you have no control over what they say and what they think..

I was over 300 pounds. I did go to the gym. I biked, I ran.. I swam, I went to crossfit.. I couldn't lose the weight.. I tried diets.. I was paleo, I did a whole 30.. I tried not to eat carbs, I ate high Protein.. I was tired of "trying" for the past 34 years to lose weight.. I needed help.. If people JUDGE me for finally saying, I need help to get healthy and lose weight, and live more years.. then so be it.. EFF them. Most people are judging you cause you are fat anyway!

BTW, call her on her bs. You told her that no one else knows.. that didn't give her permission to tell your secret.. but now you know who not to talk to. Don't let her put that on you.

Edited June 9, 201511 yr by Chrystee

I have started telling people about my decision. Mostly everyone has been supportive, but one person told me she didn't think I needed it, I could do it on my own. I explained to her that I have been overweight since I was a child and that I have health issues. We haven't talked about it since then! She is entitled to her opinion, and I an entitled to my decision for my life!

You know I haven't experienced this sort of thing, luckily. But I'd be tempted to take out a piece of paper and appear to be checking it intently, then take a big sigh of relief and say:

"Oh, thank God! Your opinion doesn't appear anywhere as a requirement in my approval approval process!"

Edited July 23, 201511 yr by The Candidate

I've not told anyone. I'd feel so betrayed and humiliated in your position. It's your news to share, not her juicy piece of gossip. I just love the response that DebbieDuck4 suggested. I'm going to use that if I ever need to. I've been through 9 miscarriages, and multiple IVFs, both of which have attracted unwanted advice and insensitive comments. It's so valuable to be prepared with a store of come backs to unwanted advice and snide or judgey comments. I think now the news is out it's better you control the narrative, and not your SIL. Is there a thread on here of the best comebacks? Get yourself prepared by having some backs, and deciding how much you're willing to discuss your personal business with others. I'm sure if you were getting hemeroids treated people wouldn't feel so entitled to comment!

I also struggled between keeping this a secret and telling people. I chose to tell a few of the closest people before I had the surgery. Once I have the surgery I plan to tell people I had weight-loss surgery. I'm not going to get into details as to what kind of surgery it was unless it's someone whom I believe wants to know because they have an interest in doing it for themselves. I don't want to be worrying about someone spilling the beans and the secret getting out. I am trying to not care what other people think. That's really hard to do because I spent most of my life wanting to please others andcaring about their opinions. Well no more!!! And it's very liberating. You do whatever you feel like doing.

Edited July 27, 201511 yr by my_new_lifetime

Omg I why that too so aggravating they think of younger a surgery it's cause your lazy and want the easy way out

Omg yeah not many know of mines I feel like many will be negative and I dont need that right now!!!

Yes you will get a lot of negative comments people don't see that it's for health reason some people are very closed minded

I can't believe this is happening today. After I swore to myself last June when I recieved the sleeve, it was a secret. I have had so much success with it and finally opened up to my sister in law this weekend.

She reacted exactly the way I knew she would. Judge judge judge!

Ugh....

All the typical stuff

"You didn't want to go to the gym"

"Easy way out"

As she said things like how could you not tell me?

Then she gossiped about it to friends and family member over the last 4 days!!!!!!!

Today she tells me she assumed it was ok to tell people.... And that if I wanted it a secret I shouldn't have told her!

I have no idea what to do next.... I am so embarrassed!!!!!

Trust no one seriously

Her judgement or lack thereof says more about her then you. I've been very public about my weight loss and my intention to get the sleeve done. My support has been beyond what I thought. People who proclaim the easy way out excuse, couldn't go through this process if they've tried.

They should be happy that you've decided to get healthy rather than criticize you. People who put down other people are small and narrow minded. Your success bothers them, so keep succeeding.

You do you!! Haters gonna hate.

Dust it off your should and don't sweat it. Let them talk if anything now they can watch how beautiful you will transform. Let them talk and as for your sister if she was so quick to spread the word and judge you then she can't be trusted at the end of the day you don't need anyone's approval wether they support you or not you keep walking with your head up high and smile because now all eyes will be on you and all she's doing is making you important lol if she's talking now imagine when you lose your first 100 and you reach your weight loss anniversary ????????????????????????then she will really talk and envy you lol so don't worry and continue your transformation continue because your not alone hundreds of us will be going through it and you will lose certain people in the process. Their lost not yours ????

I told a few people in my family. I went to a barbecue this past week and I found out that most people know. So much for secrecy! Now I feel like I just shouldn't care who knows.

Yeah I know the feeling but don't focus on how many people know. Someone will always have something to say. Wether your big or skinny it's always going to be something. Try to ignore it and not let it get to you. You've made it this far. Wait until you lose your first 100 then everyone will really know ????