I can't believe this is happening today. After I swore to myself last June when I recieved the sleeve, it was a secret. I have had so much success with it and finally opened up to my sister in law this weekend.

She reacted exactly the way I knew she would. Judge judge judge!

Ugh....

All the typical stuff

"You didn't want to go to the gym"

"Easy way out"

As she said things like how could you not tell me?

Then she gossiped about it to friends and family member over the last 4 days!!!!!!!

Today she tells me she assumed it was ok to tell people.... And that if I wanted it a secret I shouldn't have told her!

I have no idea what to do next.... I am so embarrassed!!!!!

Trust no one seriously

You know what I really love?....How skinny people believe that weight gain and weight loss is just a simple thing....eat less and exercise more. Period. So easy, right? Why didn't we think of that? Gheez!

I told my niece....an exercise aholic and nutritionist, 3 mths after. Her first comment...I wish you would have told me before because I would not have let you have the surgery and I would have made you go to the gym. Really? I am 23 yrs older than you and in that 23 yrs I lost and gained around 100lbs. I understand the calorie in/calorie out thing sweetpea.

This whole weight loss/gain thing is way more difficult than the 2+2=4 formula so many skinny people think they have figured out. 1+3 still equals 4, so does 5-1 and 8-4......doesn't matter, it all still equals 4. Our decision on how to get this weight off shouldn't make a difference to anyone. Its no ones business.

Oh....and just wait. Rude people will continue to be rude and get pretty stinking good at it. I just heard....you had surgery 7 mths ago and you're still fat? Are you doing what your doctor told you? You should be skinny by now! That was my mother!!!!

Edited March 21, 201511 yr by Bobby46

I guess I lucked out I has people very supportive of me and nothing but compliments. I had people more worried bout me making it thru the surgery vs making sarcastic remarks.....nothing but support I'll pray things get better

Yup. It's now time to move on without her.

My husband and I both were sleeved almost 1 1/2 years ago....he tells everyone....I don't....but we've had nothing but support from family.....

I told everyone, but I work in healthcare. I think that most of my colleagues know the health risks of obesity. I actually work in a rehab hospital, and kept seeing patients and thinking that would be me down the road. Not that skinny people don't have car accidents and strokes, but recovery is easier when you are not morbidly obese.

I have been blessed with incredible amounts of support, but occasionally the comments are a little weird. One of my good friends (who has lost a significant amount of weight herself) said that it would be so nice for me to have normal friends to hang out with. Not sure what she meant by that, since I hang out with her and a number of people who are not overweight. I choose to believe that she meant that it was exciting that my life is changing in a positive way.

It's not easy it's a tool!! All the people who say that are just jealous!!! Scared you'll be or are hotter then them ????

I'm really learning to just own it... at first I didn't want anyone to know and felt embarrassed to be honest that I had to resort to what society considers an extreme measure. I also knew others would judge and I didn't want to face that. But somewhere along the line I have begun to realize its pretty hard to judge and criticize someone who's proud of something and just rockin it! So now, I just say "Yep, had bariatric surgery in December" with a big ole' smile on my face, answer a few questions, and if anyone even dares seem to be the slightest bit "judgy" I say something I got right here on Bariatricpal.... "I'm tired of talking about my body, let's talk about yours for while, mmmkay?" Your sis-in-law is talking about you cause she's got a teeny small life and nothing else to do. Let her, don't worry about it, just go out and take on the world girl. And you're gonna look fab doin it!!

She is only bullying you and talking about you because she is jealous of your success. All of us that have been through this know this is not the easy way out and we suffer greatly in order to regain our lives back

Tell her to try the liquid diet and having surgery with incisions everywhere and see how easy it is... It's not easy.

I did not tell that many people. I felt like I have heard enough comments my whole life, and didn't want to hear anymore. So many people in my life feel like they have all the advice in the world to give, and I am not interested in it anymore. And maybe some day I will tell them? Not sure!

*hugs* I am SO sorry that you had this experience with "family". You, nor anyone else deserves the negativity because of the decision you made to take control of your life and your health.

It's so easy for us to pass judgement on others when we really have no idea what a day in their shoes is like. I try my best to not judge, because I've not walked a day in someone else's shoes.. but with that being said, I am NOT perfect.

I encourage you to go back and read journals (if you kept any) and/or remember why you made this decision. Think about the work you did to work up to the day of surgery, the patience, tears, frustration and pain you dealt with after the surgery... remind yourself it was far from the "easy way out." You've worked HARD to get to where you are today!! Keep your chin up and surround yourself with a positive support system to help get through the tough times with difficult people.

I have been sleeved for 5 years. When I made my decision I heard all that crap too. As a matter of fact my boss at the time was scheduled to have hers done before me. So she felt slighted that I to was having it she was a great deal heavier. However I ha been having issues with my health for over 6 years prior and I had a hubby and 2 children to think about. She and another lady that had a band always made comments and talked about me.

My closest friend there was a RnY bypass with 3 years out. She told me. Look their gonna talk. You will drop more weight fast because you have less to loose and she won't like it. But it's your life. I had surgery and it happens just like she said. By the time I was back 3 weeks later I was down 42 lbs. she was sleeved 1 month prior and has lost 40 but you couldn't tell much.

I was told I cheated, was lazy because I did not attend her support group or Zumba classes. I did my own at another location. All my family supported me in person and on the phone and still do.

My husband is my biggest fan. He tells me no matter what I look like he loves me. So if anyone asks I tell them yeah I had it done. Had to to fix problems with my health. If they give me any BS I ask them if they could come visit me for a month and we will live on liquid Protein together and work and all the other stuff we have to do and. See who is stronger.

I don't bull s it it. I'll tell them plain out it is my body and I choose what I do. If you son like it or the way I live to bad. God choose me to do a specific purpose in life and if gastric sleeve is part of that who am I to argue.

I also ask them how much they spend each month on medications, ciggaretts and side pop. Along with all the other crap they eat. That usually ends their rants.

You didn't tell her earlier because, DUUUH! She's a gossip?!???

It's not the "easy way out". If she wants to try the diet WITH you, have at it, girlie! Until then, she's an ignorant twit.

Geez. It's hard to believe how nasty people can be.

Then again, my husband is behind me 100% and plans on following the diets with me. I also have a sister who had a lap band and her son-in-law had the bypass, so my family is on board with it. All that said, I'm not exactly broadcasting it. I told a 64 year old friend and his response was, "You don't need that. You can do it without it." I asked him if he'd ever been overweight (he's 6' 3" and about 180#) in his life? Noooo. Doesn't have a clue. Last person I told. Why invite misery in?

don't strss it..you did what was best for you not her or anyone else. sounds like she is not a nice person to start with..she must be a drama queen and jealous.. I love myself and I am not ashamed of my decision at all. I post it for the world to see. this is a life long lifestyle change. we cant eat what normal people do..they can slip up more than we can this is out tool and if they don't like it to heck with them im gonna live by my own rules not them..drop the drama and live girl screw her and who ever else that do like IT!!

What a mole. All you can really do right now is own it ! If someone approaches you in an arrogant manner

" OMG did you do the sleeve NoOOoOo wayyy"

- yeah i did, and I've lost --kg since, I'm much healthier now thank you for your concern Xx

BOOM they have nothing on you now, trust me there's no point in shying away, denying it or getting embarrassed. Think of it this way, would you rather not have done the sleeve or have to deal with this ?