So this is going to piss off a lot of people. But I call BS on everyone that says they are a "private person" or "its nobody else's business" when trying to justify why they don't admit to having WLS. Saying you had your gall bladder removed or a hernia repaired or any other number of fake surgeries instead of WLS is "sharing" a personal health issue, just not the one you actually had. If you needed a knee or hip replacement, would you fib and say you sprained something to explain your brace and/or crutches? Do you hide your need for insulin if you have diabetes? Do you all wear contacts instead of glasses so people don't know you have bad vision? How about if you needed your appendix removed? A kidney transplant? Can you seriously say you would come up with a "story" to cover up the fact you needed these surgeries?

What are you all afraid of? Why are you ashamed? This was a huge commitment for all of us. Why aren't you willing to stand up and defend your convictions by being honest about your decision to have surgery? Some people claim they don't want to hear negative feedback. Well how is the social stigma of obesity and WLS ever going to be overcome unless those negative people hear and see all of our success stories for themselves. Every time I am asked about my weight loss I see it as an opportunity to educate. Maybe next time the subject is brought up, that person can say "I know someone that had VSG and she looks and feels great! Why don't you give her a call".

I don't mean to offend, I just don't think "privacy" is the whole reason why WLS isn't admitted to and talked about openly.

"The cr err y

Yeah, please disregard. Crazy phone posted by accident. Ugh!!!!

Where I work I am the only overweight person. Almost all my peers do cross fit and marathons. There would be no common ground, no communication, no understanding. These peoples whole lives revolve around fitness. You just can't have a conversation about having WLS with people who would not understand or have an open mind to it. Then it's just a debate and I'm not one for that.

For me it would be embarrassing and uncomfortable to say you all can do it on your own but I need surgery. I mentioned last year to two girls that my dr mentioned it as an option to me and immediately I got bad feedback how ones brother had it done and gained all his weight back and she proceeded to say she has no tolerance for people who say they can't lose weight because she knows if they ate right and exercised they could. She's one if the nicer people. That was the last time I ever said a word.

I'm private and don't even want anyone to know but my best friends of because I trust them but only a few support the surgery.

I'm eating less, doing Meal Replacements and exercise and that's all true I'm just leaving out the part about the WLS.

Edited October 20, 201411 yr by happymama2014

Fin diva lol it was the ugh nicest way I could describe it without being vulgar

Oh man now my reply has your name spelled wrong finediva darn fingers!

It's not that I'm ashamed at discussing this with anyone. I decided not to tell anyone because it's nobody's business. My personal health is very private and I also don't want to be the topic of discussion at everybody's table. People will then be watching what I eat, what I'm drinking. I've never discussed any previous surgeries and certainly don't feel the need to let everyone in on this one either. I've always been private.

The OP made a lot of assumptions about others motivations that I did find offensive. I don't criticize or judge anyones choice on if, when, or how to share their medical procedures and I would appreciate the same. I kept it private at first. I did not need uneducated feedback or to hear about somebody's cousins uncle best friends brother who either died or gained it all back. I also don't want to think I should have to be a poster child for weight loss surgery. I have no obligation to the world on making WLS go mainstream. Did I miss this section in the medical forms?

Don't remember seeing that next to all the other things I signed off on.

Believe it or not some people don't discuss all their medical issues with others whether strangers, family or friends. I don't tell them about my hemorrhoids, varicose veins, heart arrhythmia or breast cancer treatment either. Because it's PRIVATE. And that's not BS.

I am going to try and say only one more thing on this topic and then I am going to move on to more positive threads.

I am absolutely thrilled that so many people are open about their surgery. I am excited that they are excited and that they are so willing to share. I love to see their confidence soar as the pounds drop and if they want to shout how they did it from the rooftops, I will happily hold the ladder.

I am also happy and excited for those who had this procedure done and choose to share only with their loved ones or even just us here on these boards. I have always found those who are able to maintain privacy admirable and extremely trustworthy. Strength is often found in silence.

Either way, the choice we make in this situation is one that is only ours to make. No one has the right to come here and make ANYONE feel bad, guilty or embarrassed about the path they are choosing. None of us should feel guilted into being an "advocate". No one should be bullied into sharing what they hold close about their health. No one should be called names or accused of being a liar. That's shameful and wrong.

I love discussion, I love debate, I love a healthy exchange of ideas. What I do not love is someone coming to a support forum where feelings are fragile, emotions are running high, and some are still unsure about the choices they are making. No one deserves to have their feelings mocked or ridiculed and that is exactly what the OP has done here. It's even more appalling that the OP can be considered a "vet", someone who should understand how difficult this journey can be. I'm still floored that this topic was even started.

Why is it such a problem with being private? I'm an introvert. I don't want or need everyone in my business!

I like feeling comfortable sharing my personal decisions when I feel it appropriate to share. Not every question, or opportunity to share is the best time to share. Some people want to make a mockery out of your decision and others either don't care while other may need to know. Some people may not ever cross your path again when they ask.

My point is, why share with people in passing or those that are co-workers only. My business is my business. I determine who I want to share my business with and who to keep at arms length. When I am ready to share my business, I wait for the right moment, time and motivation. The end!

I agree with Lexie. I don't spread my business at all. I AM indeed a private person. I don't share my salary, tax bracket, political stance, how much I paid for my house, my credit score. Heck, unless I knew you, personally, you didn't know I was pregnant. My fb friends knew after he was born and his dad tagged me in a pic.

I wouldn't tell anyone if I had heart surgery. What do I look like telling anyone I had weight loss surgery?

And who are you to judge me or anyone else. Shame on you.

Amen LipstickLady! Amen.

Wow Kindle, I had no idea how vocal people would be regarding your post- last count 70 replies. Good job getting a discussion going

It has been interesting!

@LipstickLady. " I have always found those who are able to maintain privacy admirable and extremely trustworthy. Strength is often found in silence." Thank you.

I posted this in my thread but figured it was relevant here.

Should we "out" all the men who use Viagra? Make them loud and proud? Maybe women who need lubricants due to menopause?

Why not be proud out loud if you have a little padding in your bra or a fake breast due to breast cancer or because you were born lopsided?

I know! Let's get those people who have had to have lip hair removed or women who have had hair transplants due to unfortunate baldness to let the public know, too!

Plastic surgery to remove a nasty mole or fix a birth mark? Shout it out! It's the world's business, right?

<eye roll>

Just my two cent's worth (I am pre-op, so maybe I shouldn't even be responding).

I think there are a lot of reasons to keep such a private matter to yourself. I think some valid responses to questions about how you are losing a lot of weight could include "mostly, a LOT of hard work," or if you are being consistent with your reasoning about how your sex life, plastic surgery, etc. are nobody's business then "that's a personal issue," or "I don't want to talk about it."

I do think it's dishonest to say "I'm just eating better and exercising more." An obese person (or family member/friend) who asks with genuine interest will get a false sense of what is possible and may put off surgery because "if he/she can do it with diet and exercise - then so can I!"

About a year ago, someone posted on one of these threads (or maybe on another site) about a friend of hers who lost a lot of weight after VGS. She was telling friends and co-workers that she did so with the help of an "herbal supplement" and the proceeded to sell it to these "friends." Dishonest. Even if she did use the supplement post-op.

It's also dishonest in my opinion to make up fake surgeries as explanations for your time off of work. Once again, can't "I'm sorry, but that's personal" be used in a tactful way instead of falsehoods?

Lexie, All good points. And I'm not talking about shouting it off the rooftops or posting it on social network venues. It's more about the excuses and fibs told when directly asked about our obvious weight loss. I proudly stand up for my decision, but a lot of people don't and I believe there is an element of embarrassment and shame that people aren't admitting to and that isn't being talked about on these forums.

Just because someone asks, they are not entitled to my personal health information. It is a PERSONAL decision about whether to tell or not. If people are embarrassed or ashamed, then that's their personal decision and they are entitled to their privacy, for whatever reason they choose. For those who feel they should educate the world and share their stories, more power to them. That's also a personal choice.

Just curious - why is there a need for people to "admit" their feelings? Why should they be obligated to tell? People in this country are very private about health information for many reasons. That's why there are such strict laws protecting it - HIPAA. The law says health care workers can't know or share information unless it's for care or treatment, so why would we as individuals feel it's our obligation to answer nosy people's questions about our weight loss?

I chose not to tell many people. I didn't want people watching me and judging what I was eating, how I was succeeding/failing, or generally being too interested in my weight and diet. I don't regret that decision. Of course, my picture is on here, so I think if anyone came across it, they'd recognize me, so I'm not all that incognito!