So in no way shape for form am I ashamed of my decision but I am a very private person. And if I am totally honest with myself I don't want people judging me for my decision. I have only told my dad (my mother passed away last year) and my husband about my decision to have weight loss surgery. I don't want anyone trying to talk me out of it and say "you can do it on your own" and "don't you think this is a bit extreme." I am making this decision for me and my immediate family. I will be taking a little time off from work but have not told co workers yet anything. I honestly don't know If I want to. I may have to have "emergency surgery" and come back after Thanksgiving break. I failed to mention I am a teacher. What would help my story seem a little more plausible for work?Gaulbladder issues? Kidney stones? Hernia issues? Thank you all in here for the advice and support!

I don't lie, I just omit. I tell people that ask that I am eating less (truth) and I drink lots of Water (truth). I also tell them that I exercise about 2-3 times per week (truth) also.

None of it is a lie. When I feel comfortable with someone or feel that I can trust someone, I tell them that I had the sleeve surgery. If they choose to tell others in the office, then it is shared by others on my behalf. I'm happy with the way I look and feel and don't care if they gossip about me behind my back about my choice.

Studies have shown that to build a positive work environment with high morale, it is important to demonstrate that you genuinely care about the people that work for you and their lives outside of work.

I could not expect people that work for me to share their life with me and see that I genuinely care if I withheld such an important part of my life from them. It's a two way street.

I have only told my immediate family and my best friend. Everyone else believes that I was on a liquid diet and now I watch what I eat. Which btw neither of those things are a lie.

I only took 4 days off from work but just incase something did happen I told my boss I was having hernia surgery. Which was the truth as my hernia was fixed at the same time. Unless you work a manual labor job you don't need 6 weeks off. I was fine going back to work after 4 days. If I had to do it again I MIGHT take 2 weeks off at the most.

One person at work did figure it out because she herself had surgery also, and my mother works in the same building as me, so when this person began talking to her about it my mother thought I had told her and confirmed that I did have surgery. I don't believe she has told anyone but I really don't care at this point anyways.

Edited October 21, 201411 yr by 4andcounting

I also work in a school - a school nurse. I told a few-non work people, friends - didn't get the most supportive responses from them. After that I decided that I wasn't going to share with the people at work. I was confident with my choice, not embarrassed, but didn't want to hear peoples negative remarks.

I told work I was having Hiatal Hernia Repair. I took two weeks off from work. When I came back you could really tell that I had lost a significant amount of weight. I had one person approach me and asked what surgery I really had - that I looked amazing. Another staff member pulled aside the other nurse I work with (who was one of 2 people at work who knew the truth) and asked her if I was ill. I had been out for awhile and came back and lost so much weight.

Now that I am 4 weeks post op I have shared with some more people in my social life - still haven't shared with work people. Heck, yesterday I told the guy at the fish counter at the supermarket. I was getting fish for dinner and was having a hard time deciding how much to get for me and my husband. He asked me how many people I was getting fish for - and I explained two - but not really two. LOL

I get it, cause I'm pretty open, and I feel weird about lying. I just told my boss that I am having surgery in January and left it at that. She didn't ask. I told her I plan on working at home for 2 weeks. I'm sure she can figure it out though, becuase we are office mates, and she is nice and seems supportive.

However, I am starting a new job in November, and I'm not as close to my new boss, plus he is a male, so I'm not comfortable telling him why. I just told him after I accepted the position that I would be having a surgery in January and will need to be off a couple days, but can work at home for about 2 weeks after. If I need an extra week I should be ok. I've started my pre-op diet and I'm losing already, so it shouldn't be a big surprise.

Edited October 21, 201411 yr by Chrystee

Thank you all for these great thoughts. I am also in the same boat. I am nurse in a primary care office. So not only am I worried about explaining to my patients but also my co-workers. I talked with one co-worker I am very close with but that is it. I talked to my boss regarding surgery and she assumed it was GYN related and I am ok with that. Due to losing weight pre-op at the gym and making better food choices I am going to go with that. I don't feel that people need to know everything. I am going on the bases of less they know the better and if they want to assume anything let them. I hate the negative comments that come along with this surgery.

Thank you all for the great thoughts.

I told very few people at first. Some guessed. I was okay with it. Some saw my loss and asked. I was honest. If they have an issue with my decision that is their problem. I'm going to do what I am going to do and I can't stop anyone from judging me.

In this age of social media it seems like people need to shout their personal decisions from the rooftops. It's really no one's business but mine... however it is the most open, worst kept secret ever.

The one thing I AM open about is how healthy I eat and how much I work out. Whether they know or not, I don't want people to see me sitting around eating Bon Bons and dropping 100lbs, like everyone THINKS Weight loss surgery works.

I'm not being mean or attacking anyone when I say this. But why are you hiding it at all? Every single one of my coworkers is behind my surgery, they help me every day, we talk about it, they see me on my post op shakes and Protein drinks. etc. They are looking forward to me being able to run a 5k with them someday, etc. My friends, family even friends of friends, heck John Q public can read my blog!

I only ask because I am writing an e-book out of my blog, and I am trying to fight the stigma that men have, where if you tell another guy ,hey I am having bariatric surgery they say, just stop eating crap and go workout more. Yeah right.

But it appears a lot of you are hiding it for other reasons? I would love to know why. I do have a friend and a friend of that person had a sleeve done a year and a half ago, never told a soul well my friend had not seen this person in a long time, finally did and said how beautiful she looked and eventually found out from someone else that she had been sleeved. When she approached the sleever and asked why she didn't mention it, she responded with " I didn't want people to think I had help, I wanted people to think I did it on my own."

Which drives me insane because that's exactly what I am railing against, there is no cheating, you CAN fail. Only you can succeed. I do worry a lot about people having this surgery for vanity reasons alone. Those are the high failure rates according to a lot of research I have done.

So do not take this the wrong way I really am very interested in why people want to lie about it?

P.S. if you are interested I am taste testing many Protein Shakes and drinks in videos on my blog at http://cuttingthefatwithaknife.blogspot.com , I am not being paid, no referrals or ads, etc exist or anything like that.

Glad your coworkers were supportive. For others, clients and coworkers may not be so supportive. Each individual case is different. So many factors bear weight on the decision to share or not to share. It really should be left up to each individual how and if they chose to share their own personal journey. I wonder how many men discuss their Viagra scripts. :-). As I see it WLS is a very private subject and one I will share only as I deem necessary and only if I think the sharing of such info would be considered helpful.

I personally have told virtually everyone including putting it on my facebook. I am proud of my decision to take control of my life and my weight problems. I think of it this way if they don't like it that is more their problem than mine.

Stevehud, oh boy! You need to check out the thread I started "when you can't even be honest with yourself" in the rants and raves section. I called BS on those that choose to lie about their surgery, and was met with HEATED opposition and resentment. You may find some answers to your question there. But don't use the words lie or dishonest...they don't like that.

Good to hear from some others that share the great news openly. I hate to ask this, but.....is this a male female issue?

@@Stevehud I can't speak for anyone but myself, but the only person that knows anything about what I am doing is my daughter, and I have no intentions of telling anyone else.

For me it has nothing to do with lying, this is just a very private matter to me, and I'm not interested in sharing my private business. If someone asks me how am I losing weight, I won't have a problem telling them I had surgery, I'm not going to lie about it, but I'm not interested in volunteering the information.

not surprised people were heatedly opposed to being told they were liars and dishonest when they simply didn't feel like discussing their personal business in the workplace.

not surprised people were heatedly opposed to being told they were liars and dishonest when they simply didn't feel like discussing their personal business in the workplace.