So in no way shape for form am I ashamed of my decision but I am a very private person. And if I am totally honest with myself I don't want people judging me for my decision. I have only told my dad (my mother passed away last year) and my husband about my decision to have weight loss surgery. I don't want anyone trying to talk me out of it and say "you can do it on your own" and "don't you think this is a bit extreme." I am making this decision for me and my immediate family. I will be taking a little time off from work but have not told co workers yet anything. I honestly don't know If I want to. I may have to have "emergency surgery" and come back after Thanksgiving break. I failed to mention I am a teacher. What would help my story seem a little more plausible for work?Gaulbladder issues? Kidney stones? Hernia issues? Thank you all in here for the advice and support!

I'm not ashamed of my decision either. I currently do not work, so that isn't a big deal, family, only a close number of people know.

I'm thinking after the surgery I will feel ready to discuss my process. On my terms and when I am ready.

Thanksgiving will be interesting this year...no big plate for me!

Good luck on your journey.

Hey Crystal, I am in the same boat, although I did tell my boss and a close coworker. The reason being that if heaven forbid, anything did go wrong and I needed more time off, someone would at least know what was going on. That being said, I still think it's a very personal choice and it's ultimately up to you to decide who and what you tell people. I have told my family (because my surgery is 7 days before Christmas and I'll be drinking turkey broth instead of eating turkey and dressing) and a few very close friends. Surely there is someone in the office at the school that you can confide in? I wouldn't tell a fib about it though. It's too hard to cover your tracks and it starts a string of lies that you won't have the energy to keep up with, when you need to be focused on healing and your new life. xoxo

@vsgcrystalg. Well all those reasons are great, but they will come with you losing a large amount of weight. Some of them will probably figure it out. I told no one, including my grown kids and one teenage son. I don't plan to. Every one sees that I'm eating less. No one has questioned me yet. Mainly, I was NEVER a junk food eater. I always tried to eat healthy. My issue and how I got to this point? HUGE portions. I ate way too much food. I would start of with three pieces of chicken. That sort of thing. So people see me eating, just much less.

I told people I'm on a meal replacent program which is actually offered through kaiser where u drink protein shakes etc and a small meal which I eat at night. They see me drinking shakes already now so hopefully no more questions.

I told everyone everything

However you could have an ulcer but that doesn't require emergency surgery.

Gallbladder would be a good bet and with it comes a change in diet and lifestyle.

You can have gallbladder attack with a hernia discovery and repairs

My surgery is next week; 10/24. I am SO very excited. I did not tell my boss and co-workers. My career is WAY to conservative and would frown on me for taking matters into my own hands. So, I scheduled vacation and no one will be the wiser. I told them that I plan on working hard on my weight since my mother has terminal cancer, diabetes, etc. So, they see that I am eating healthy at the office and turning down team lunches. I plan on keeping work and life separate. But, not every industry is conservative and private...

I would recommend sharing the positives; that you are working towards a healthier lifestyle by eating very well and exercising as a new, positive, permanent lifestyle.

Hope this helps!

I told my work I would be off 3 days for surgery then work from home a week (I have office job). I did not say what type of surgery as I am a private person. I had already been on a "diet/healthy eating program" before the surgery so no one commented too much about my weight. starting at 300+ pounds even 25 lbs in a month was hard for them to notice as I had never worn fitted clothes. and after that the weight loss slowed down to 2 then 1 lbs a week. so not dramatic fast loss. just steady.

eventually I did tell people when they complimented me after some significant weight loss. (100lbs).

but you are not obligated to tell anyone what type of surgery you are having. if people get concerned just say it's low risk but something you need to take care of. they may think it's on a very personal reproductive or bowel issue!

I have been wondering what to say too. My work knows I'm having surgery because I was told to expect 6 weeks off. I applied for FMLA and will be applying for disability but my job does not know what type of surgery. Someone did ask and I said I'm not ready to discuss and it's preventative. They assumed I am having a hysterectomy. I didn't correct them. I don't know what I am going to say when I go back to work.

Although this thread doesn't reflect it so much, having read hundreds and hundreds of posts about this topic on several WLS boards and forums, it seems to me that a disproportionate number of people who are obese / very overweight have set some very different personal boundaries about what are essentially private issues. In short, there is a strong sense among many WLS patients that they don't have the right to withhold information.

There's also considerable confusion (and misunderstanding) about what information WLS patients are obligated to tell employers about the nature of their surgeries or any medical conditions.

In my very personal opinion, unless you are being questioned by federal investigators or have sworn to tell the truth and nothing but the truth in a deposition, hearing or trial, you have no obligation to answer anyone's questions about anything. You have the right to ignore their questions, deflect their attention, or lie to them.

Of course, you may choose to tell anyone anything. But if you share information with others because you think you HAVE to satisfy their curiosity or you just feel guilty about being untransparent or they wormed it out of you, you are the kind of person who's liable to be easily manipulated in numerous circumstances.

Edited October 18, 201411 yr by VSGAnn2014

Amen @@VSGAnn2014!

one of

my pre op test was a sono gram of stomach and liver .I have a big polyp on my gallbladder so gallbladder has to be removed. I would stick with that for your story.good luck to you hoped that helped

Only my mom, dad, step dad, siblings, and in laws and a couple very close friends know that I'm getting the surgery. If anyone asks how I'm losing weight i plan to tell them I made a life style change and am working out more. Which won't be a lie and it's not giving too much information either

I told my whole family and several good friends before my surgery. My work partner also knew. I had nothing but support as well as the usual concern for any type of surgery I would have been having, especially since it was in Mexico. Postop there is no way to hide your weight loss and with the exception of a few clients I don't really like, I've told everyone about my surgery when they ask. Usually it's a brief conversation. Some people want details but mostly we just move on to other topics.

Direct honesty has made everything so much easier for me. Telling fibs to everyone I know would leave me feeling very uncomfortable. I cringe when I read all the posts on here from people trying to hide their surgery. I see every inquiry as an opportunity to educate others about WLS. No one benefits and stigmas won't ever disappear if we all keep our "dirty little WLS secret" in the closet. Stand up and be proud of your decision to improve your life!

Edited October 19, 201411 yr by Kindle

@VSGAnn2014. Thank you for being in my head and eloquently sayiny all the things I wanted to say on this topic. Very well said. My decision to have WLS surgery is absolutely no one's business. Therefore, I told no one and feel darn good about my decision. On another note, the part about being questioned by federal investigators.....hella funny! I had a good old laugh. Thanks.

I have some time to go yet 3 more weigh ins. Not sure how to tell my boss. She won't give me a hard time because I need time off, but she is a very gullible person. Someone told her years ago the surgery is a bad alternative and she is against people having it. She doesn't understand how it really is a last alternative tha gives us a better chance. I thought of not saying anything and doing the emergency route. However I think I will be honest but not tell her for about another month yet. I also think it will be hard to cover up the pre surgery diet. I'm a private person as well. Only my wife, mom and in laws know. I'm not embarrassed but feel I need to keep it on a need to know basis.