Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Dating after sleeve!



Recommended Posts

Okay for all you single ladies out there in wondering how you deal with dating and when you tell someone about your surgery? I was sleeved July 25 and am down 55lbs so far, but still have at least 100lbs to go! But I've recently joined the dating world again and I'm wondering how to deal with going out for supper or drinks with someone, and how soon to tell them that I'm shrinking and have all these limitations! TIA!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I might be the weird one out...but I am completely honest with telling men who I go on dates with that I have chose this option. Majority of the dates I have been on the guys where really nice and sweet about it, I have only been on one date that ended sour because he ran his mouth about his own agenda about WLS which was very negative (cocktail was in his lap by the end of the date). I am now dating somebody who is in awe over what I have done and still striving to do, and is a totally awesome support as well. And I have even inspired him as well.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I was on a date last night. She ordered a chicken fried steak, baked potato, steamed broccoli and Texas cheese toast.

I ate about one fifth of her chicken fried steak or about two fingers almost and a couple of bites of her baked potato and a few small broccoli tops. Stuffed!

Had a good time!

My wife is awesome!

;)

:D

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hey Mick.. Sounds like you and your wife ar both keepers. God Bless on your journey.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I know you didn't ask... but I wouldn't date yet. I know that sounds kinda weird, but losing massive weight creates all sorts of changes. I had a lot to loss - 160# plus - and I need to focus on it to get there. My friends and i joke - dating is fattening! I regained 5# last summer when i did start dating. (I have since lost it and a bit more, so no worries, but just a word of caution)

I am almost 3 years out and I really dont like to go on big dinner dates even now. I do not choose to tell casual dates about my WLS but i do tell them that i need to eat light to maintain my weight and health. The guys I prefer totally get that and it has generally not been a problem since they tend to be fit/lean types.

I often eat a fancy small dinner salad with perhaps a shrimp skewer... I like to order ala carte or off the appetizer menu. If it is with a close friend, we share meals, but a date I wouldn't do that. I love small quantities of wonderful food.

I did see someone this last spring for a few weeks who was a food pusher and I kinda realized that was one of many reasons to not keep seeing him. He made me feel uncomfortable if i didn't eat a big meal with him.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm typically up front within 1 or 2 dates, as I am with most people about the fact I've had WLS. Funnily enough, I ended up on a date a few weeks ago with a guy who said "his thermostat" was broken since surgery... "Oh, didn't I tell you I had 85 % of my stomach removed"? I said nope, and I hadn't told you that I had 90% of mine removed! We LOL'd about it. Date never went anywhere, but that was one I won't son forget!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I was seeing someone a little while back and I told him pretty quick - I think the second time we went out. We were having a big "this is my life" sort of discussion. He took it in stride and told me I looked great. Every so often if I got full extra fast he'd say "that's it" and I'd say "you know how I eat" and he'd sort-of smile a little and say "I know how you eat" and that was the end of it. The acceptance and non-issue reaction from him was appreciated by me.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I always tell them after I know it's getting serious. I've been sleeved for 5 years now and I didn't tell my bf that I was with for the first 3 years for at least 6 months. I just avoided going to dinner at places where I knew they served huge portions. I always said I had a late lunch.

I can eat quite a bit of salad, so like CCJ said, I order salad and usually they will add chicken or shrimp on top.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I definitely date, as often as I can, ever since the surgery I have a newfound confidence that I felt that I had to share with everyone. Over time that has gotten less, probably due to the extra skin I have now. However I still date, and frequently. Usually I tell guys if I feel it is relative to the conversation or something that we are doing or going to do. Sometimes it just comes up because I barely eat and its just not normal. Most people are very supportive, I have met very few naysayers.

What I had the hardest time adjusting to when it came to dating was getting hit on and approached by men or friends that knew me before. It felt like a slap in the face at first, but I did a lot of thinking and I must say a lot. With some I ended up telling them to ef off due to horrible attitudes and no attraction and such. With others I had a great time, and found at times meaningful connections. I was even able to get past hangups I had about intimacy, sex and relationships.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

When I get back into the dating scene I honestly don't want to go out for dinner and drinks. I wants to do something non-food and fun! :P And I think it will depend on the person at the moment when I decide to tell them.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Lol!!! People I didn't read this before posting my question! Sorry!!!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Eve411

      April Surgery
      Am I the only struggling to get weight down. I started with weight of 297 and now im 280 but seem to not lose more weight. My nutrtionist told me not to worry about the pounds because I might still be losing inches. However, I do not really see much of a difference is this happen to any of you, if so any tips?
      Thanks
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Clueless_girl

      Well recovering from gallbladder removal was a lot like recovering from the modified duodenal switch surgery, twice in 4 months yay 🥳😭. I'm having to battle cravings for everything i shouldn't have, on top of trying to figure out what happens after i eat something. Sigh, let me fast forward a couple of months when everyday isn't a constant battle and i can function like a normal person again! 😞
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • KeeWee

      It's been 10 long years! Here is my VSG weight loss surgiversary update..
      https://www.ae1bmerchme.com/post/10-year-surgiversary-update-for-2024 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Aunty Mamo

      Iʻm roughly 6 weeks post-op this morning and have begun to feel like a normal human, with a normal human body again. I started introducing solid foods and pill forms of medications/supplements a couple of weeks ago and it's really amazing to eat meals with my family again, despite the fact that my portions are so much smaller than theirs. 
      I live on the island of Oʻahu and spend a lot of time in the water- for exercise, for play,  and for spiritual & mental health. The day I had my month out appointment with my surgeon, I packed all my gear in my truck, anticipating his permission to get back in the ocean. The minute I walked out of that hospital I drove straight to the shore and got in that water. Hallelujah! My appointment was at 10 am. I didn't get home until after 5 pm. 
      I'm down 31 pounds since the day of surgery and 47 since my pre-op diet began, with that typical week long stall occurring at three weeks. I'm really starting to see some changes lately- some of my clothing is too big, some fits again. The most drastic changes I notice however are in my face. I've also noticed my endurance and flexibility increasing. I was really starting to be held up physically, and I'm so grateful that I'm seeing that turn around in such short order. 
      My general disposition lately is hopeful and motivated. The only thing that bugs me on a daily basis still is the way those supplements make my house smell. So stink! But I just bought a smell proof bag online that other people use to put their pot in. My house doesn't stink anymore. 
       
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BeanitoDiego

      Oh yeah, something I wanted to rant about, a billing dispute that cropped up 3 months ago.
      Surgery was in August of 2023. A bill shows up for over $7,000 in January. WTF? I asks myself. I know that I jumped through all of the insurance hoops and verified this and triple checked that, as did the surgeon's office. All was set, and I paid all of the known costs before surgery.
      A looong story short, is that an assistant surgeon that was in the process of accepting money from my insurance company touched me while I was under anesthesia. That is what the bill was for. But hey, guess what? Some federal legislation was enacted last year to help patients out when they cannot consent to being touched by someone out of their insurance network. These types of bills fall under something called, "surprise billing," and you don't have to put up with it.
      https://www.cms.gov/nosurprises
      I had to make a lot of phone calls to both the surgeon's office and the insurance company and explain my rights and what the maximum out of pocket costs were that I could be liable for. Also had to remind them that it isn't my place to be taking care of all of this and that I was going to escalate things if they could not play nice with one another.
      Quick ending is that I don't have to pay that $7,000+. Advocate, advocate, advocate for yourself no matter how long it takes and learn more about this law if you are ever hit with a surprise bill.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×