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The real reason I chose the band
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OK folks...here's the god's honest reason why I chose the band. I expected it wouldn't work. I was sure it wouldn't work. Nothing worked so why would a friggin' piece of plastic work? I was getting the band so that I could remove it in six months and continue my downward spiral towards being wheelchair bound and likely suffering a premature death.
So...when people talk about being in the right frame of mind to tackle this process and be successful, I was so not one of them. I was awfully cranky during the pre-op phase...and then sick and tired of the monotony of post-op liquids. Thinking about having to watch every little thing that went into my mouth was overwhelming for me. I used to scarf down two bowls of spaghetti without taking a breath. And then I'd eat Cookies and candy and still not be satisfied. Awful...just awful.
Well....guess what happened? I realized not long after the surgery that I was no longer ravenous. I didn't trust myself to eyeball my food so I weighed everything. And when I was done eating it.....I didn't feel hungry. I didn't feel full either...but I didn't feel hungry. And holy mackerel...the weight started to come off. The knee pain didn't get better....and now my hips were hurting bad as well, but I kept thinking five more pounds, then five more...then yes, five more...and I'll feel better. Well it took 70 lbs. off to finally find out that I needed both hips replaced. The orthopedic surgeon told me he had no idea how I was even walking..that's how bad it was. I knew that by the skin of my teeth, I barely avoided that damn wheelchair.
I had the surgery in October and there's barely any hip pain. That alone is a miracle. Unfortunately, I have residual back issues and continue to see a sports medicine/pain management doctor whom I've been a patient of since the summer of 2012. Today he said something to me that felt so good. He knew what I looked like at my heaviest because I started going to him six months before being banded. While we were talking he asked me how much weight I had lost in total and when I told him I was down 115 lbs., he said that he can't even remember me that much heavier and that he's gotten completely used to seeing me at this size. All I could think of was how much I hoped that would really be my new normal and that eventually, no one would remember the old me and then I could finally bury that fat bitch once and for all.
So what's the point of this story? Easy... if I can manage to be successful at this, well so can you. No excuses. Have a great night everyone.