I have my surgery in 8 days and this morning I went to get my final labs. I've been wondering how I would handle people asking me questions regarding my weight loss after the fact, and haven't completely made up my mind. So imagine my suprise when the woman behind the counter asked me what I was having surgery for, and out my mouth pops "bariatric, or weight loss surgery". I didn't think twice, I just answered her.

Now comes the look of disbelief and the raised eyebrow. She stands up and looks me over head to toe. Says no way, you aren't big enough. Then she asks me how much I weigh and my height. I tell her - 5'-7" and 228. She laughs at me and says proudly, well I weigh 350 and I would never have that done. She continues to persist in questioning me, even asking me at one point to "show her my belly". I politely declined. Ten minutes later, there are 2 people in line behind me getting pissed off, the conversation has turned to her and her inability to not lose weight, what she eats daily (2 eggs and sardines for bkfst - nasty!) and she has shown me her stomach and arms and won't shut.up.ever.....

Here I've been worried about what people might think after, never once did it occur to me that I would be looked down on by anyone who deals with weight issues themselves. She must have told me I was crazy at least 5 times, and that I just wasn't fat enough to have this surgery. She insisted I needed a second opinion that my Dr. Was just trying to "take my money"..... REALLY!???! WTF?! You've got to be kidding.

That Fat b***h was jelly lol

Just know that this is one where there is no one right answer. I told some close friends and they were SOOOO supportive that i was like....what the heck?? Is no one going to say "You don't need it??" So THAT pissed me off too hee hee.

Hey you know what? People are insensitive. They mean well but it doesn't always translate. Can't let it bother you. She was trying to be "helpful".

ya know.....I would have been tempted to ask for her supervisor, if not then perhaps I'd call back later... Maybe I'm just a beyotch. But you didn't walk up and ask her professional opinion, and it's not her job to give it to you (not that she's qualified!) nor is it to go on about her personal problems in a professional setting. I don't tell a lot of people about my surgery, but I do tell doctors and other medical professionals and I expect them to use the utmost professionalism. Why would the fact that it's WLS give her the right to make any comment on it at all? Much less start talking about herself. Or judging you OR your surgeon. Shame on her. She doesn't know your circumstances. I'm sorry that happened to you, but you handled it well. If it had been me, she might have gotten seriously reprimanded!

1. "thanks for your concern, but my doctor and I have decided this is the best plan for me." then if they persist, "if I didn't make myself clear, I'm not interested in discussing this with you."

I had my surgery in Mexico. I met another lady there having surgery the same day, same surgeon. After we met she looked me up and down and said, "Girl, you don't need to have this surgery, you just need to do a little Zumba!". I just about fell over, 270 pounds, yes I did need surgery. Her and I share a bond and to this day she is one of my dearest friends.

I think the lady you spoke with crossed a line but try not to let it bother you. You know what your reasons are for having surgery and it doesn't matter if anyone else agrees with you or not. Deep down she probably wishes she could have the surgery, too.

Some people are so paralyzed by fear that it spills over into any conversations about that topic. Also weight is relative. It wasn't until I hit 300 lbs that people saw me as overweight. I'm almost 6 ft tall so they always say, wow, I never would have guessed it.

Good for you for keeping your patience. That type of poor service is amazing.

OMG, she would be on the wrong side of the bosses desk rethinking her mouth control right about now if it were me. I had several nurses act like I was not a candidate on my surgery day. was 5'5" and 229 (down from 240). I had a list of co-morbidities. I was mad at them and almost felt like if they said it louder I would be snatched off the gurney by someone declaring a mistake lol.

Get a load of this one. I'm a hairstylist and have told a few of my clients that I will be having the surgery. Well, the men have been very supportive, but the women have not been so much. What really hurts is the fact that they aren't even worried about me, they are worried about who's going to do their hair while I'm out. One of them even said and I quote "well I hope you come back alive, I need you to do my hair!" Needless to say I have decided not to tell anymore of my clients, they will just have to think I'm out on an extended vacation!

One of them even said and I quote "well I hope you come back alive, I need you to do my hair!"

Just goes to show that some people totally don't think before they speak. I mean I love my hairdresser, but health is so much more important. Especially given that for most people who have the surgery they are back at it in less than a month.

Oh the nerve of you getting all healthy and stuff. Wow...just...wow!

To each his/her own.

I personally was so confident in my decision by the time I finally made it, nothing anybody could say would discourage me. People just "don't get it" and trust me when I say that fat people are often the least supportive. My thin friends have been da bomb - super supportive!

I have come accursed more people that are overweight then are skinny that get upset when I told them I had surgery.

I don’t know what is and why it is but it’s weird for sure.

Just be you. You did this for you not them. I tell everyone about the surgery and have found that more people support me or are interested in it then questioning my decision. If they don’t like it oh well it’s my life not theirs.

To each his/her own.

I personally was so confident in my decision by the time I finally made it, nothing anybody could say would discourage me. People just "don't get it" and trust me when I say that fat people are often the least supportive. My thin friends have been da bomb - super supportive!

I feel like the fat people/friends are just jealous. Sad to say but I think its true.

I also believe friends/family who are overweight are jealous..... like they can't get the surgery themselves.. I have one close friend and every time I talk to her about my surgery she gets quiet ... She never has nothing to say so I'm just not gonna tell her nothing Anymore.., I was against the surgery before until I did my research as soon as I told her I'm considering surgery shes like " oh it's funny you wanna do it now when before you said you wouldn't" smh!

I quote "well I hope you come back alive, I need you to do my hair!"

My (smart ass but often right) husband says you should just let her know that even when you DO come back alive, she'll still be needing to find someone else to do her hair.

Could a person be more narcissistic than that?! how rude.

I would hazard a guess that by saying the word 'bariatric' you held up a mirror to her own predicament.

Consequently and as a means to rationalise, she went on her highly personal interrogation to compare and contrast your positions because she sees you as the same (hence the 'let me see your belly' comment). Apart from some people being unable to censor some of the things they say in the real world, most of the time and when it's 'gut shot' like that, it is rarely about you, the recipient.

It is just an outpouring of their own sensitivities just being projected onto you and your situation. It is coming from someone who is in her head trying to justify why a) she's overweight, knowing it has impacted her life significantly hasn't been approved for/cant afford/is scared of the surgery and c) is probably a bit jealous of your courage or position.

Take it for what it is.. The outpourings of someone who's probably a little lost, a little jealous, a little vocal and with limited social awareness.