Momonanomo

Just....feeling a bit blue in regards to my progress, and the stall I've been in. So I created a "before and after" and yes, it does make me feel better to see a side by side comparison! I've been stalled for a while. I've lost 110 lbs since May 2013 and want to lose roughly 25-30 lbs more. But AT LEAST I want to lose another 15 so I can be at a"healthy" weight. I feel so very much better now than I did before surgery! Went from size 24+ to size 10-12. Onward!

Woo HOO!! Today marks one year since surgery!! Wowser! I am down 106 lbs since the beginning of the 2 week pre-op diet, and 96 lbs since surgery itself. I am 100000% glad that I did it. No regrets whatsoever! I still would like to at least lose another 15 lbs to put me at a “healthy weight” for my height. I’d really looove to reach an ultimate goal weight of minus another 34 lbs…..but I dunno if I can, or if I could, would I be too thin. I have been stalled for a couple of months now, but I will admit I have not done anything yet to shake things up and stop the stall. I think there was this combination of factors – late December, I got a depo shot (to cover me between taking an old iud out and putting a new one in), and I really think that triggered some serious appetite increase with the hormones. But I will NOT blame it all on external forces; I take responsibility for my actions. At that point I was a good 7 or 8 months out from surgery, so my stomach had become completely healed. Being completely healed meant I was reaching for a wider variety of food. I’m not saying I was pigging out, just that I had begun more going to the crackers & bread whereas prior to that, I did not. And is is SO true that those types of carbs just increase the desire for more. Protein First is the only way to really work this sleeve tool. THEN, Life happened – as it has its way of doing. Not going to go into details, but it involved a family member, and it involved cancer. There such a short time between diagnosis and amputation, during which I ate whatever the hell I wanted. Granted, it was a noticeably different kind of pigging out than what I used to do back in the day. It wasn’t even really bingeing, but I certainly wasn’t even trying to eat mindfully. I did notice that not only did eating poorly not make me feel better, I physically felt like crap because of the sugar & carbs. You live you learn, you pay the price. So I gained 8 lbs. Surgery 6 days ago went well, and my loved one is doing well, and we think this will be it and the cancer is gone. This past weekend I woke up to what I had been doing with my eating, and I’ve been doing Boot Camp diet (Protein First, veggie juicing, protein shakes, no bread/rice/pasta/ carbs, lots n lots of water), and I am happy to report 4 lbs are gone already. And I am ready to make a run for those last 15 lbs…or more, if can. I’ve wondered what I would tell pre-surgery me if I had the chance to talk to her. Obviously I’d say – "do it!! It will be worth it!!" I’d also say "Good for you for doing this, it is scary, but you are brave. And it is what you want and need." …... I’ve never shared this with anyone: I have a very clear memory of the morning of surgery thinking “stomach, I hate you, you have caused me so much sorrow, and now I am going to have you mostly surgically removed. Thanks for nothing.” I liken it to the cancer that my loved one recently had amputated. The feeling was “get rid of it!” But my stomach surgery was voluntary, it was not emergency. I’m sad to say my feelings toward my stomach the morning of surgery, the stomach which I felt had betrayed me all my life by constantly torturing me with insatiable hunger, those were feelings of hate. Not the most positive thing in the world, eh? But it’s what I felt. I got over that, although I am still glad that the majority of that buggah is gone. I love my new tiny tummy. It suits me just fine. I just think it's kind of sad that I had to hate a part of my own body so much that I was willing to surgically remove the majority of it. I just need to remember to use this tool I have given myself, and to practice gratefulness, and to remember where I came from a year ago. So! Today being my 1 year surgiversary, is a little bittersweet. I am SO incredibly happy to have lost 100+ lbs. I am a bit sad that I went backwards recently. But I’ve just got to dust myself off and go forward again! And, because I am SUCH a Look-On-The-Bright-Side kind of gal, my contemplations have led me to believe that in a way, this little stall has actually been a good thing. I say this because I lost 100+ lbs with never really a stall. I had the week 3 thing we like to call a stall, but it was like for a single day – when you’ve lost so much every day after surgery and then you go a day or two without losing, you can get melodramatic. But my week after week trend has ALWAYS been down. I think I’ve been lucky. So my time finally came for a stall. Also, having lost so much in less than a year, I was getting a lot of unwanted attention. I’ve kept my surgery to myself outside of a couple of close family members and my boss & 1 office mate. Other people at work started going all ga-ga on me when I finally started buying new clothes and they realized how much smaller I’ve gotten. I have been quite uncomfortable with all the attention. So I think slowing down a bit for a while will allow these people time to get over the novelty and get me out of the hot seat as far as answering questions. Similarly, I think having this stall is a good way for my mind to (maybe? Hopefully?) catch up with my new body. Being body dysmorphic from losing a lot of weight quickly is very real, and a very weird thing to go through. I don’t even know how to describe it, except for that the general feeling is that I am still big. The specific feelings are like looking in a funhouse mirror or something at times. Or not being able to believe that I weighed 100 lbs more at one time. Pick up 100 lb weight. It’s heavy! Carrying that around 24/7 was hard. I am glad the weight is gone! So anyways, I am thinking that perhaps I need to be at this weight for a while to re-learn how I feel about my body. It’s been a few months, and I think the consensus between me, myself, and I is that I would like to lose at least another 15 lbs. So that is exactly what I’m going to do! Onward!

what a great metaphor! I don't have an m&m, but I do have a little foil-wrapped chocolate heart that sits on my work computer as a token to remind myself "I am stronger than the chocolate, I do not have to eat the chocolate just because it is in my sight, I will not eat the chocolate" It's a visual anchor to keep me strong -- just like your m&m!

I sadly agree. I read a post by someone who was within a week post op who was having problem getting liquids in. I suggested sugar free popsicles, because that's what helped me. Pretty benign, right? Well I guess not! Fairly quickly, someone went to the trouble to actually quote me, then say "No, no, no! Drink G2!" Now, either answer is reasonable advice; these are suggestions. I personally find G2 intolerable, but to each his or her own--- who cares? My point is there was neither a right nor a wrong. But why would someone feel the need to be so aggressive? The only thing I can think of is that this person gets validation from such behavior-- and probably this person is ONLY getting validation from being rude on the message boards. It was so absurd that I didn't bother to reply and honestly, it turned me off of the boards. It's not worth fussing over, but it was REALLY off-putting. I'm now just not as active on the boards as I used to be. I think to myself: if THIS is what makes you feel important -- then it's all yours, there ya go. Pretty sad really. So, all I can say is, when people are bullies like that on here, I just consider what may be the source of it.

QUOTE: I am strongly considering the Lap Band and I am trying to find out as much as I can about every aspect of the decision. I have done research on the good and the bad, one thing that I am not sure about right now is the loose skin issue, have you had much of a problem with that. How funny, I almost included that my skin isn’t so bad and I never had hair loss (2 things many people are concerned about), but the blog entry was so long already! Btw, I did not have the lap band; I had the sleeve. I applaud you for doing the research – I did too and I felt that for ME, the sleeve was the answer. Turns out I was right! But since you asked – I do not have a significant problem with loose skin. I am 42 so it’s certainly not perfect, but I’m not going for perfect --- besides that, it’s early & only time will tell the end result. I knew going into this that severely loose skin was a possibility, and there are so many variables (genetics being one of them). For me it’s not severe, but even if it was, I had decided that it was a small price to pay to get to a healthier weight where I physical felt better, could move more easily, could take some pressure off my knees, feet, and back. The risk of loose skin was worth it to me to improve my overall quality of life. I stopped snoring, so my husband and I both sleep better. I have more energy, and I have hope for the future. For me, the possibility of loose skin was not a determining factor when I thought about all the other reasons I needed to lose weight. I have heard a theory that with lap band you lose more slowly and thus can possibly reduce the risk of loose skin? I have no idea if that’s true, and I don’t think there’s any way to prove that because like I said, genetics plays such a strong role in your skin’s condition. As does staying hydrated, keeping the skin moisturized, eating healthy fats (which I believe kept my hair from thinning), along with how long were you obese, how obese were you, and what is your age. See – so many factors it’s impossible to know until you get there. So, think about all the other benefits of getting to a healthy weight, and decide – is it worth it to have the possibility of loose skin? For me, it was.

Well Well Well..... It’s been 9 months (roughly) since I had my surgery on 5/22/13. That’s enough time to have gestated and given birth to a baby --- I am 105 lbs lighter. That would have been a really big baby! LOL First – I will say -- the weight loss is slowing down, it is much more irregular. And, my eating is much more, shall we say, irregular as well. So it’s not the weight loss slowing down all on its own. I take some responsibility. I have gotten more lax in some ways. Still don’t eat very much in the way of bread, no rice, no pasta. Those things just no longer appeal to me. Which is – shocking! I never would have dreamed of that! And this will be my saving grace in the long run I bet. But I’ve had sweets here and there. And more cheese than I should have. Time to get a handle on that. I’m not in denial about it, and I have goals to reach so dammit I will do what it takes! The weight loss began to slow a couple of months ago --- it was bound to happen and I expected it. I went all that time with no real stalls at any point. Funny thing is – I swear I lose a bunch in inches when the scale is NOT moving much. I’m sooooo glad I took my measurements and logged them into spark people way back in the beginning, because when the scale isn’t moving I can see that my circumference is getting smaller I have lost – gulp --- 15 inches off my waist and 14 inches off my hips. WOW. I do have more of an appetite now. Nowhere near where it was before, thank GOD. But some days I have to catch myself grazing. So, when I began to struggle a bit I decided to try what a lot of vets are trying, the 5:2 plan. I am going to put something out here that on the regular board may invoke an uprising, but this is my blog, so I want to put forth this theory: the 5:2 plan has been bad for me. I have been reading on the boards the vets raving about the 5:2 ( 5 days of normal eating and 2 intermittent days of really low calorie “fasting” days) and I think it harkens back to my old unhealthy eating habits so much so that it has caused me some problems. I have tried it for the last few weeks, because I could sense that my weight loss was slowing down (as it naturally does when you get closer to goal). Well it has really felt like my old days of strict dieting and then going a bit crazy on the non-fasting days. I think falling into this pattern is to blame for my weight loss to stagnate further than it would otherwise have. I think I need to get back to a consistent and reasonable, healthy daily diet routine. With an occasional treat meal. Now, the vets out there who love 5:2 --- well it seems to be working great for them and I don’t fault them a bit for doing it. I just think for me, it is too similar to my old disordered way of eating. The thing is that I believe in 5:2 in theory, and I know that the 5 non fasting days doesn't mean these are Go Crazy days. It's just that for me, the 2 fasting days trigger me in such a way that I can easily go crazy on the non fasting days. It isn’t going to be something that works for me, at least at this point in my journey. It seems to work for me as a maintenance tool – I have stayed in roughly the same place for several weeks lol. And an interesting thing I want to comment on with clothing and sizes. I weigh 184 today. Fifteen years ago I was (briefly) at my Weight Watchers goal weight of 165. I wore a size 10 then. Today, I am also in a size 10. Which means that when I get down to 165, surely I will be in at least an 8? So I can’t figure out if I am actually smaller this time due to more exercise and having more lean muscles this time (muscle weighs more than body fat) or is this vanity sizing in action? My husband says it’s probably a little of both…. Another funny thing with clothing and the body dysmorphic disorder that losing a lot of weight fairly quickly can bring on: when I go to put on my size 10 jeans, and they look so impossibly small in my hands that I think there is NO WAY these are going to fit or even come up my thighs let alone over my hips and be able to be buttoned. But then, as I put my feet in the pants legs, one at a time, the seemingly tiny jeans seem to grow until they do indeed effortlessly slide up my legs, over my hips and are easily buttoned. It's like some crazy movie special effects. It is a very strange visual phenomenon! I know my mind is playing tricks on me. I wonder how long this will last? Anyways, I am still SO grateful to have had this life changing opportunity. Couldn’t be happier with the results, and I know the journey continues. I am committed to the process and to myself Onward!

Awesome awesome awesome! Your surgery was a couple of months before mine so we're in the same graduation class so to speak I am so stoked to hear you've reached (and passed!) goal! You've done SO well and you're very inspiring to me & hope I can get to my goal as well You look gorgeous! And happy and healthy! All the hard work you've done has obviously paid off! Congratulations!!!!!!!!!!!

I have had the same thought -- but then I think about the people who would have to risk their lives just to recover the vehicle from the bottom of the cliff I don't want to be morbid, but you might find interesting the story of Martin Manley. I applaud his philosophy and what he did is certainly very...well, thought provoking. Here's an article about him: http://news.msn.com/us/martin-manley-details-suicide-sets-off-treasure-hunt Even now after all these months, his website gets so many hits that you can't usually get to it. But there is a mirror site that was set up (the link is in the article but here it is too: http://www.zeroshare.info/ ) It's really fascinating...and like I said, thought -provoking. He's kind of a hero I think. Not sure if I agree 100% with every thing he said/ did....but what he did he thoroughly thought out and was extremely practical about and ... wow. Please don't anyone jump on me if you disagree with the subject of the article/website. I am merely sharing access to information. And much love.

I am so sorry you are having to go through this, and I completely agree with you on your rant. God bless. I'm sending you much love.

A couple of nights ago I awoke at 2 am to go to the bathroom. On a whim, after I was done I stepped on the bathroom scale…to find that I have lost 100 lbs since the start of my pre-op diet; and 90 lbs since surgery on May 22, 2013. I had a hard time going back to sleep I was so excited! I want to lose (I think) about 39 to 44 more. I will be a healthy BMI for my height when I lose 20 more, so I will reevaluate then. I cannot describe the mindf*** having reached this goal is! I knew it would be though….I had faith I’d get here, and yet I am still shocked that I got here. I’ve worked hard, but because of so many failed attempts in my past, the fact that my hard work is actually paying off this time is mind blowing. I am thrilled beyond belief and am filled with wonderment! I need to post before and after pics maybe -- just to help me wrap my head around this. I can’t believe I’ve lost 100 lbs. I can’t believe I weighed 100 more lbs than I do now just 8 months ago. I still feel like me, so how can this be? I do feel SO much better. I feel totally different and very much the same – all at this same time! It is so bizarre. I feel so different in all good ways, and very much the same, also in all the good ways. All the clothes that were once too small for me are now too big. The size 12’s I got so that I could shrink into them, now all of a sudden are too big, and I think “How can this be? What is this strange phenomenon? “ LOL The holidays were an interesting learning experience for me. I got to “onederland” the morning of Thanksgiving, which was Nov 28. Between that day and Dec 30, a month later, I had lost only 4 lbs. Don’t get me wrong, I do see the value in losing 4 lbs, especially during the holidays, when in years past that was a major gain time. But it was a significant slow down from recent months. Over the holidays, I had alcohol, I had sweets, I had bread – no never in large quantities, but I loosened the reigns compared to how I have been eating. I also during this time did not always follow the “protein first “ rule, and I sometimes sipped a beverage with my food. I did all of this mindfully, fully aware of what I was doing, I went slow so as not to over do it, but I was definitely “celebrating” -- I was doing so to enjoy the family holiday meals and such. I knew the consequences would be slow weight loss and/or maintaining. But it was MY decision and I was in complete control. Ah, it was so liberating. I believe I have seen a glimpse of what maintenance might be like when I reach goal. I feel strong, ….and I feel taller I was doing some Pilates on the living room floor the other night and my husband came in. He admired me for a minute and then said “My wife has nice long legs” and I just giggled and said “They’re getting longer all the time!” Nowadays when I take the dog out for a hike, I sometimes jog for half of it. ME. I freekin jog. Unheard of! And really, aside from just being more active in general, I have not started any kind of hard-core grueling exercise routine. I don’t go to the gym, I don’t watch a clock that says I have done cardio for x minutes. I happily take my dog out & frolic a bit until my heart rate goes up, and sometimes, just because my body feels good and strong and happy, I do some Pilates-type moves on the living room floor. I suppose I may need to incorporate more formal or stringent exercise into my life as some kind of routine as I try to get closer to goal. It’s certainly not a BAD idea. But my point is, I haven’t had to break my neck to get to this point. I’ve just naturally started wanting to do more and more. And that, my friends, is what I believe is a true life style change. Hooray! So yes, I am happy. And yes, I have faith that I will achieve my goals. What do I look forward to most? Getting to goal and being there long enough that THAT is my reality, not a novelty. I want people to just know my at my healthy weight in my healthy life style, and not think of me as the girl who lost all that weight. I am so ready to have this be the rest of my life. Onward!

I’ve been wanting to do a blog entry, but then the website went all wonky. I’m going to try this today, and decide if I want to continue blogging or not. So far I’m not a real huge fan of the new site. I chose VST over the “other” WLS websites because it was specifically for VSG people; now bariatricpal mixes us all together again. Yes there is a certain amount of segregation, but now I find it difficult to navigate. I don’t really like the name even! I know people do not like change & I am one of them. I find myself less involved in the message boards because of the change. I am grateful that the change to the site took place when I was 5+ months out. I can’t imagine having gotten to where I am without the old board. Perhaps I’m ready to fly on my own now anyway. I am down 85 lbs since the start of 2 week preop diet, and down 75 since surgery. I am wearing clothes from the back of my closet, and people are finally really starting to notice I’ve changed. Amazing to me that it’s taken this long for them to see! BUT in a way, I would rather not draw attention to myself in this way. I am ready to be at goal weight and having people just know me as a girl of a healthy weight so that they don’t feel the need to compliment me on my loss. Some days are easier than others with the weight loss. I KNOW at this point that I could eat whatever I want. I have been very diligent thus far, and I am averaging a loss per week of 1.24%. I am occasionally tempted by the wrong stuff (i.e. “treats”) but I haven’t given in, and it is SO much easier since surgery to stick to a healthy plan I’ve devised for myself. I contribute this largely to having gone through detox in the time immediately after surgery. I’ve never been able to eat this clean for this long, and it feels good! I don’t look at it like a diet – that’s so cliché, but I have always WANTED to have a healthy lifestyle I just never had the control before. Now I know I have the control if I work it right. If I am hungry, I just have to make sure I eat dense protein first so that I can feel restriction. If I do not do that always, I will have a hard time getting to goal. I can’t say that I track my food anymore regularly, and I don’t count calories, etc. I stay away from bread, rice, pasta, except for one or two days per week. I have for the most part foregone sugar and processed food. I don’t stress over things being low fat. My breakfasts are coffee and protein drinks, then I have a green shake (spinach, fruit, protein, avocado, almonds) mid morning, then some lean protein for lunch, then a chike protein drink mid afternoon, and a “lean & green” dinner – but it’s mostly lean protein and just a spot of green vegetable. I feel my green drinks keep my veggie intake up. Routine is key for me. I take my vitamins daily, and drink as much water as I can. I enjoy sugarfree popsicles in the evenings. More than one. Sometimes I wonder if that’s a problem. They are essentially frozen crystal light, but am I playing into old behaviors by going back for several per evening? Yes I am still seeing weight loss but I want to change 40 years of bad habits, so I wonder about eating several of ANYTHING. I will ask my NUT tomorrow when I talk to her. I had bloodwork done and saw my endocrinologist yesterday. He said my iron is slightly high and my blood pressure is slightly low. The episodes of feeling worn out can be blamed on the low blood pressure. Even when I was 85 lbs heavier my blood pressure was on the low side, so you can imagine how it is now. I’m a bit of an anomaly in that way. So I get to indulge my salt cravings, and I need to make sure I stay hydrated even that much more! I fully intend to get to goal. I have yo-yo’d in the obese range for several years now. I’m now beginning to enter territory weight-wise where I haven’t been in 10 years, so I am really beginning to feel different. It’s fun and exciting and a bit scary. But I want to do it anyway – I want to lose about 59 more lbs.! And, 2 lbs from now and I will be merely overweight and no longer obese. That’s cool! I never lost hair, and I figure I’m in the clear. I’ll say it again: I never had hair loss! I will be at the 6 month mark in a week, so I pretty much figure I’m in the clear!! Yay! I had accepted that as a side effect long ago, but lo and behold it didn’t happen to me. I am thankful, but I would have dealt with it. I just didn’t want to cut my hair, because I’ve been growing it out for years. I got my claories up to 900 to 1000 fairly early after starting real foods, and I think this helped me hang on to my hair. I have half a small avocado in my green shake every day, as well as almonds. These things are high calorie but are “good fat”. And good fat is good for the hair and skin. So far excess skin isn’t horrible, but I know I won’t know until I get there how much of an issue it will be. I won’t get plastics though – it just looks too painful! And I hope that after years at a healthy goal weight perhaps the skin will go back to a reasonable shape. All in all I am very happy with how this is turning out! I knew immediately after surgery that I just needed to get on with living a new lifestyle and that as time passed I would see results. And I am! Onward!

Omg L i just saw your post....like 7 months later You are so sweet to make that offer! Now dr comes to maui for my appts yes mary asked me a goal & i said 150....butimgoing to try to go for 145....

I'm not really going to comment on the "easy way out" stuff, because everyone here absolutely knows what that's about. You are a wonderful, caring, compassionate woman to have those feelings about the others who are struggling. I guess it's like survivors guilt in a way. You can't be responsible for saving all these people. You can, however, be kind to them, and treat them as you wanted to be treated when you were in that condition. You can share your story if and when it's appropriate. I've chosen to keep my surgery private, but at work if one of the people here that I work with who are obese were to ask me what my "secret" is to losing weight I would tell them. It would be cruel not to I think. But, if they don't ask me, I will not give unsolicited testimony to them. People know that WLS exists -- it's not a big secret in this day and age. Some choose not to go that route, and it is their choice. We made the choice that was best for us. There are a myriad of reasons the people you see haven't chosen surgery. You are not responsible for those reasons. Try to enjoy your choice, your empowerment, your health. You might also consider talking with a counselor about these feelings -- just to help you sort through them. Extreme weight loss is not just about changing the body -- it can really do a number on your head as well.

Today is exactly 16 weeks since surgery & I’ve lost 55 lbs since then. That plus the 10 lbs I lost pre-op mean I am down a total so far of 65 lbs! 65.4 to be exact, but who’s counting lol. I am excited! I am about 7 lbs away from being half way to goal. I am doing a lot of closet shopping, and now I realize if I don’t try on things frequently, I am in danger of several items becoming too big before I even get a chance to wear them! My sweet & generous husband thinks I should buy new stuff whenever I feel like it, even if I know I will only wear it a short time, & he says there are worse problems to have and that I should treat myself for having earned it. While I certainly agree with him in theory I cannot bring myself to go out and buy brand new things when I am not close to goal yet. I’m cruising ebay a lot. I have maxi dresses that I can wear quite a bit longer without them getting too obviously big, and a Donna Karan wrap dress that will just need to be wrapped tighter and tighter, but my pants and jeans…oh boy when you can take off your jeans without unbuttoning or unzipping them, you know they’re getting too big! So I need to get a smaller pair of jeans….and that’s where ebay comes in. I’m bidding on my favorite kind of Levi’s in the next smaller size and if I can get them for less than $20 I consider that a success. I’m so grateful for the sleeve. I’ve really had no problems with it, except for a bout with stomach acid a few weeks ago. I’m managing it with OTC meds and hoping eventually I won’t have to take it much. If I do have to take it every day forever, then so be it. It’s a very small price to pay, in contrast to the laundry list of health problems that I was headed for with obesity. My relationship with food has turned a compete 360. It is a bit of a mind trip though, because having loved food so much for all my 41 years, I still get excited about it. And then I eat it and after 4 bites I’m like “ugh, that’s enough”. So in some ways I feel like I live with a ghost – the memory of how satisfying stuffing myself used to be. And yet, now after a couple of bites I don’t want – can’t have – any more. (please note this is when following the "protein first" rule) It’s a very strange thing to wrap my head around -- this new ambiguous feeling about food, but it is actually a good thing. It’s what I wanted. I’ve always envied people whose lives weren’t driven by the urge to eat – food was always my obsession. When to eat, what to eat, when to eat next, what to eat if no one was there to see. Now I don’t have that uncontrollable urge, and it is lovely. I hope it lasts forever. I easily & happily stick to pretty paleo type eating, and have recently added one day a week where I have some good starch like whole grain bread. I think that revved my metabolism a bit, although I think it dampens my energy some on those days. I just don’t eat many carbs in the way of starches any more, and I absolutely do not miss them! I think I’ve had some dark chocolate maybe twice and my reaction was “meh” ....so why have it again? I have to say I am detoxed from refined sugar and thank God for it. I was a slave to sugar before. That evil is behind me and I do not ever ever want to let that monster out of its cage again. Because I fear sugar could sabotage me in the future, I am going to be very cautious about ever reintroducing it. My husband, who really wasn’t entirely on board with me having the surgery, has recently talked quite a bit about how happy he is with how things are turning out Go figure. LOL. We bought a 42 lb thing of cat litter at Costco last week, and as he said “ooof!” while hefting it into the shopping cart, I said “Yeah, well I’ve lost 1 ½ the weight of that” and it Absolutely. Blew. His. mind. Now, that was more than a week ago, and he’s remarked on it several times since – contemplating the weight I used to carry like that really had an impact on him. I said, “now you understand why I never had energy, right? Aren’t you glad the 65 lbs is gone? And, think about me losing another 65 lbs! You’ll have to put a tether on me or I might just float away!!” LOL Really, my energy has gotten so much better and I’m less than half way there….it is hard to imagine how good I’m going to feel when I get to goal! (please do note that I say ‘when’ not ‘if’) I’m stoked. I had a great week, and a great month. I track the patterns in my weight loss – regardless of intake or working out, every third week it flat lines. I accept it. The big picture is important; meeting mini goals are important. Meeting goals that are not related to numbers on a scale are important too. I’m all over this! Onward!

Just read this on tumblr by someone called runsleepygirl: "Even when the scale doesn’t change, the image in the mirror looks the same, when you feel like all of your efforts are for nothing, they’re not. Slowly, your body changes day by day. Your goals creep up on you until one day you look at an old progress picture and realize your words have become actions, your hopes have become reality and it was all worth it." i love that

Omg look how cute you are! Can totally tell you work out - your posture is nice & strong. Im sure thats also confidence! You've done such an amazing job!

You are going to do great. I can tell this by the way you are handling this. You have admitted what you did -- you are not in denial, you are not asking permission nor forgiveness. You have identified the reasons WHY you did it. You have created a strategy to keep it from happening again. I too have issues with carbs - MAJOR ADDICTION. I can tell you that the time immediately after surgery will allow you to detox completely. After that you should think long and hard about reintroducing bread, etc. But find some comfort knowing that the sleeve will help you during the detox part. I wish you success,and I believe you can conquer the Carb Monster!!!

Awesome Awesome Awesome! Good job!

Haven’t blogged in a month, so this will be long. Today marks 12 weeks since surgery and 14 weeks since the beginning of the pre-op. I’ve lost 43 lbs since surgery and 53 lbs in total. I’m damn happy with that! How funny….at the end of that last sentence, I made a typo, and instead of an exclamation point, I typed a question mark. If that’s not my subconscious peeking through, I don’t know what is! No really, I’m happy. No way would I be at this point if I hadn’t had the surgery. I am impatient. I am dismayed that the weight loss is slowing a bit. But, I do find hope in knowing that if I apply myself, the losses will continue and time will pass and every little bit adds up to a lot. So much of weight loss is a mental game. This is the true test. To make sure that I stay the course, not just because eating healthfully is actually good for me, but because I cannot – will not – comfort myself with the wrong kinds of food. I will lose weight at exactly the rate that I am supposed to. Now, I take this time to analyze what I am responsible for. I believe that I am eating the proper way and that I am getting a balanced diet. I am tracking my food, another plus for me. I will be downloading my sparkpeople logs and submitting them to my NUT so that she can review and give feedback. I am taking my vitamins. I am definitely reaching my protein goals. I do not feel that I am under eating nor do I feel that I am overeating. What could I be doing better? I probably am not getting my fluids in. I am not tracking that, and how would I know for sure if I don’t track it? I am hiking 6 evenings a week, up the hills behind my house, for at least 30 minutes & sometimes longer. That is waaaaaay more than I used to do, so while I applaud myself for that, it is time to step it up again. And I have not been doing the strength training I should be doing. I do sometimes have the fear that I will be someone for whom this surgery only gets me half way to goal. Or that the weight loss will stop altogether. I remind myself frequently that there are still things that I am responsible for, and I have no choice but to take responsibility. I have this sleeve as a tool, I have been lucky that my body has taken so well to this surgery, and I also have a tremendous source of support in the resources my surgeon’s team provides. I can contact my NUT and exercise specialist any time I want. For the rest of my life I have these tools. What has changed for me since surgery that seems to be a Forever change for me now? Well, like I said, I am much more active. I am much more mobile and my balance is better. I love that because I can see evidence of things to come! As far as intake, I am still following a pretty pure, unprocessed, paleo type diet. I have had bread on about 2 occasions, in the form of ½ of those whole wheat skinny buns. Other than that, no bread, no rice, no pasta. No sugar! I am having fruit once a day and more vegetables than I was eating at the beginning of my diet progression. The sleeve has certainly relaxed, so I am being careful to do the protein first thing. That definitely does the trick for filling me up, and it gives me peace of mind that I have the ability (for the rest of my life!) to be in control of my appetite. I got the sleeve because there have been times in my life that I felt insanely hungry. Now I know that I just need to eat some good dense protein and I will not feel that way! No doubt if I ate slider foods (and I could now if I wanted) I could eat and eat and feel that out of control hunger and keep eating. So I love that I have that control measure. I ALWAYS eat the protein first. And often I find that one last bite, the one bite that would be the One Bite Too Many, I discretely spit into my napkin. I will not push myself and make myself sick. I’ve gotten over the whole clean-my-plate thing. I’ve had alcohol on a couple of occasions and have been fascinated to discover that I have become a one-drink-nurse-it-all-night kind of gal. I was never like that before. I always felt driven to be gluttonous with food and drink in my previous life, and I no longer feel that way. I am so happy about that! This is an amazing journey indeed. I am so very grateful to have been given this opportunity. Onward!

I think you are a wonderful, sweet, thoughtful wife, and he will LOVE your surprise! Your post brought tears to my eyes. You have a wonderful husband, and you will be rewarding him for his love & devotion by becoming a healthier, happier you. Be honest with him about why you didn't want to have the rings up-sized, he'll understand and be glad you shared that with him. There is every reason to believe that you will get to a healthy weight -- isn't this journey amazing? It has given hope to those of us who thought we were doomed. I wish you every bit of luck and an early "Happy Anniversary!"

Awww thank you!! I sooooo look forward to being where you are!

This is a good one, that i had somehow missed. Thanks for reposting!

I agree with Mokee -- go ahead and get rid of them. Maybe take a QUICK paw through them and pull out a couple of special things, but get rid of the rest. As you progress on your weight loss journey, you will have earned the right to buy new things

It’s Wednesday, my check-in day! The scale starting moving again – I’m now down 35 lbs since surgery & 45 since starting the pre-op diet. I am so grateful. I feel like my body has taken so well to this. I haven’t really had difficulty with anything I’ve eaten, but I’m only really eating good clean food. The only problem I had was early on when I first started real food I ate a Morningstar farms sausage patty too fast without chewing well and omg that hurt. Lesson learned. But as far as tolerating foods, I chose wisely and chew well. I can even do ice berg lettuce! I’m quite proud of myself. I always kind of knew that this was my one last time to embark on the proverbial “lifestyle change” I’ve always sought, and this time I was going to have the very best tool I could possibly have. And that’s exactly what it is. I have the desire to stay on a healthy eating plan, and with the sleeve I’m able to do it without feeling like I’m a wild-eyed-raving starving maniac. I could totally eat ice cream and French fries now I bet, but I really don’t want to. Still haven’t had bread, or rice, or pasta. It’s been 10 weeks! Someday I will have it again I’m sure, but I want to maybe be at the halfway to goal point before I indulge in some serious carbs like that. And it will be a small indulgence. Small tummy dats why. Right now I am at a point where I have exactly 100 lbs to lose. And I really feel like I’m going to do it! It’s just a matter of how long will it take? Up til now, I’ve wanted to do a blog entry each week, but honestly, I’m at a point where things are a bit repetitious, and the progress is nothing earth-shattering in just a week. So I think I’m going to start just blogging on a monthly basis. I’m SO looking forward to seeing where I am in a month!! Onward!

as I read your post, I am sipping my green smoothie similar to what you're describing! Mine is: organic baby kale, local organic fresh pineapple, 1/4 small avocado, 1/2 oz raw almonds, and vanilla protein powder. I'm 2 months out from surgery & have been doing these nutriblasts for a few weeks. I have felt a LOT better since I started drinking them-- more energy, more 'regular', etc., and it's reassuring to me to know I'm getting my fruits & veggies in. At meals I pretty much only have room for the protein So I can say from experience that your plan is a good one!