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Hi all -- I haven't been around much cos I was avoiding this thread for a while, during the time I was sooooo down and depressed cos I was just a huge bummer. I need to catch up on what I've missed as well as update you on news from my side, but have to carve out some time to do so!! I have to go on a biz trip next week and anticipate a lot of hurry-up-and-wait, as well as jet lag mid-night awakeness, so hopefully can do it soon.

The short version is: I'm doing MUCH better, thank you all for your support while I was in the $h1tter of life...

xoxoxo

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Always happy when you check in Swizz! Now if we could just hear from Chimera, SarSar, Brown...

Well the scale is being a real ass, after four days of stuck I was so happy when I thought it had jumped down 4 lbs, I got on and off the scale several times just to be sure. Then the very next morning (after having only had 600 cals the prev day) the damn thing said 219 and today it says 220 so, that is crushing. Gonna go see Jurassic World tonight, very excited, not because the last few were so great but because that first one was ... well there isn't a lot that will incite genuine wonder, but I won't forget seeing it with my little friends, every kid I ever knew seemed to be there, it was a packed theater, and that opening music.... awesome ^_^.

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Always happy when you check in Swizz! Now if we could just hear from Chimera, SarSar, Brown...

Well the scale is being a real ass, after four days of stuck I was so happy when I thought it had jumped down 4 lbs, I got on and off the scale several times just to be sure. Then the very next morning (after having only had 600 cals the prev day) the damn thing said 219 and today it says 220 so, that is crushing. Gonna go see Jurassic World tonight, very excited, not because the last few were so great but because that first one was ... well there isn't a lot that will incite genuine wonder, but I won't forget seeing it with my little friends, every kid I ever knew seemed to be there, it was a packed theater, and that opening music.... awesome ^_^.

I want to see that on the big screen too!

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I'm sorry you're having such a hard time Florinda. You have MS though and I am sure that contributesto everything. Depression causes weight gain.

 

I am really depressed. I can barely walk, let alone go to the gym, dance or hike, all the things I love.

 

I have an appt. with two therpists and I will pick one to do some counseling.

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Denise, depression only causes weight gain when you overeat to self soothe - I am eating 600 calories a day!!! I am doing a post-op diet and I weighed in at 218 this morning - which means that in 14 days I have lost only 5 pounds. and I had MS last year when I took off my regain, and I had MS (even though I didn't know it) when I lost my weight the first time around. So, GRRRRRRR, I don't get it!! My daily carb totals are super low but maybe they aren't low enough? 60g or less per day. Today I had sardines with sauteed vegetables, a coconut flour and Protein Powder cookie, and several tiny nutritional yeast/coconut flour crackers. 59 carbs, 637 cals.

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Florinda, I'm no dietician and I know you know your body better than anyone but is your daily low calorie count enough for your body? I can hear your frustration at the slow weight loss. Would it help to have a couple of days at higher cals to see if it shakes things up?

My own weight is up and it is totally my own fault, I have had a weekend in Turin (Italy) and we ate and drank. It was the drink more than the food- it goes down too easily. The weather and the atmosphere was great and we took advantage of it, glass of wine before lunch, same at dinner and then sitting out in the squares people watching with a drink later. I think it is no alcohol for me this week so that my poor liver can recover.

We went to Turin to see the shroud and it was an amazing weekend, made all the more amazing by meeting a Muslim lady and her elderly mother who were also there to see the shroud. We were able to discuss with each other the things our religions had in common. It was really special. It also follows on from an amazing exhibition I saw in Marseille recently which was about the things that the Christian, Muslim and Jewish faiths have in common. One fact I took from that is that Mary (mother of Jesus) is mentioned more in the Koran than in the Bible! And that the Muslim faith have a deep respect and reverence for Mary because she is The mother of Jesus who they acknowledge as a prophet (as does the Jewish faith). As humans that is what we should focus on - the things we have in common, not the things that might/could divide us.

Anyway a lean day for me I hope!

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Cathy, that Turin trip sounds great!

Dee so glad to hear from you and happy you are better!

Denise, I thought you were mending and getting more active...No? That is so disappointing but don't let depression stop you from getting therapy or whatever needs to happen.

I just did a girls weekend of riding eating and drinking and I do feel bloated!

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Part of this post is a clip from another thread... but thought it was worth posting here....

First there was this 3 year Kaiser study... one of the largest samples done on WLS results so far....http://asmbs.org/wp/...14-SOARD-1.pdf and the numbers dont lie....

Vertical sleeve gastrectomy (n ¼ 1,079)
---------------------------- ------one year---------------3 years------
% Patients >100% EWL 3% (n ¼ 31) 3% (n ¼ 24)
% Patients >50% EWL 60% (n ¼ 556) 46% (n ¼ 384)
% Patients <50% EWL 40% (n ¼ 373) 54% (n ¼ 455)
% Patients <0% EWL‡ 1% (n ¼ 10) 4% (n ¼ 30)

This shows that after 3 years out, only 3% of patients are below the 100% excess weight loss mark.

46% are above the 50% EWL mark

54% are below the 50% EWS mark and 4% are at 0% EWL mark..... I think we all are doing very well... I am guessing even you Florinda.... try this calculator to see where you fall...

I know we ALL want to be at goal or even below goal... but the stats tell us we are swiming upstream... which is OK, but a reminder to not hate oursleves because we are not in the 3%!

Here is a percent EWL calculator.... check it out. I am down 82.5% EWL at 4 1/2 years. According to the research paper... thats damn good. Funny, look at the numbers one way and feel like a failier, look at them another way and feel proud.

http://www.percentagecalculator.net/

I used the second calculator... I put the number of pounds I have lost at this time in the first slot, and the number of pounds I lost at goal in the second slot.

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Kim, I saw that other post. Interesting and I agree - you have done AWESOME! We are so self critical at times...

I didn't download the article but one of the crazy things is the weight they use for ideal. My NUT told me

142 is what they would use for me, i did get down to 140 but I was really quite thin and not healthy feeling (that was last year when I was struggling so much). In my mind I have lost 100% of my excess because I think my goal in the 150s is more realistic, but I get that mathematically I am more in the losing something like 90% of my excess. I'LL TAKE IT!!!!!

I went on a girls weekend this last weekend and one of them is a dietician. She claims that many many people have a complete regain about 10 years out - I haven't seen studies of that type so I was curious about it. I didn't press her because I didn't really want a big group discussion AND dieticians are not necessarily that educated about these things. Just curious if anyone else has seen it?

Saw a very young elk calf this weekend. A "late born" calf still had his spots and was wobbly legged. My hunter friend said he was a week or less old. He was well camoflauged and just stood up next to us on the trail when our horses startled him into moving. Thank goodness my horses just looked and thought same things we did - that is a MIGHTY BIG DEAR FAWN - ha! Then my friend and I were like... wonder where mama is... I don't want to be between that baby and anyting big enough to have given birth to it! It was very cool though. We also startled a number of grouse, flew right up under my horses and they were both awesome. Got to see their eggs too. We heard a bear huffing, never saw him, that is an unnerving feeling since with the hills it was hard to tell how close it was. We listened and could hear it moving along a ridgeline next to us so we calmly made our way... making a quiet but deliberate exit from the scene. Bears don't want to attack, but it is cub season.... and I know that huffing is a warning noise "you are in my space and I don't like it"....

My younger horse Mia can be a pill and she isn't the best trail horse in my mind, however she was AWESOME through all this. Especially compared to this lady that joined us (an aquaintance of one of our little group). She was arrogant about how her horses had this advanced level of training but you would have never guessed that based on what we saw this weekend.... bolting, disobeying, crowding other horses etc. Made Mia look like a champ. :)

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Sounds like a wondrful trip! And Cathy, Turin!? So cool, I have always wanted to see the Shroud.....

My doc and nut didn't give me a goal number, they said they didnt want anyone to be disapointed with their loss. I just decided on it when I got there. How I looked and felt mostly... and it was pretty clear my body wasnt going to put up with any less. So my goal was maybe a little higher than some... but it works for me.

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Well meaning sleevers have repeated suggestions to me over the years as a response to why I am such a slow loser and I've tried them all; I've had all my thyroid levels checked, I have done 5:2, I have done strict post-op, I have done cardio I have lifted weights I have stopped exercising. I have loaded up on Water and Vitamins, I have done severe carb limiting I have done high Protein I have gone raw. This is day 19 of the new diet and I have lost only 3 pounds. FU** THIS SH**.

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Well meaning sleevers have repeated suggestions to me over the years as a response to why I am such a slow loser and I've tried them all; I've had all my thyroid levels checked, I have done 5:2, I have done strict post-op, I have done cardio I have lifted weights I have stopped exercising. I have loaded up on Water and Vitamins, I have done severe carb limiting I have done high Protein I have gone raw. This is day 19 of the new diet and I have lost only 3 pounds. FU** THIS SH**.

:(

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Well, it has finally happened - Scott and I have stopped seeing each other. It is tough on me because we are quite compatible, I like being with him and have grown attached - it is mutual actually. In April when we did the weekend trip together I came to realize how deep his emotional struggles are.... I pretty much knew then it was over. We didn't have a sexual relationship anyway because he is really pretty traumatized by intimacy - having to do with his his divorce, ex wife etc. Anyway, we both wanted to give it all more time but he is in pretty bad shape emotionally and finally just decided that he is becoming increasingly paranoid and afraid of letting someone close to him. He admitted that the only people he feels even a bit of trust toward are his mother, young daughter and two pals he has known forever. Everyone else is a potential threat - I am glad he is seeing a shrink because I feel like he is crashing . I am grateful that he is smart enough to let me go and not bring that trauma into my life, but I also feel sad how lonely and isolated he is making himself.

It is hard to let go of the idea that it might work since my friends all like him, he fits my life very well and all that sort of stuff so I am a little blue, but okay.

I have a plan for my summer of regaining fitness that is probably better without spending time with a guy who likes to cook and fatten me up anyway!

So, it goes to show that it isn't just the formerly obese who struggle with those internal battles. Life seems at times like it is harder and lonelier than it should be.

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