I started gaining weight around 12, before that I was thin. I don't remember what it felt like not to be fat. I feel like all of my mannerism, my personality, my understanding of people, my empathy, who i am as a person is because I am fat and had to learn how to exist in a skinny world. I feel like I am me, because i am fat. So now i am worry about not being fat, that as the pounds leave me, other pieces of who i am will to. that i will wake up and be different and that scares me the most. Don't get me wrong i know my quality of life will improve 100 times over when i lose weight, i will be able to do things i can't do now because i am to big to slow, and i get to tired to fast. I know my health will get better, health is the biggest reason i am doing this. but I am just scare of not being fat.....

I have the same worry. Being overweight has been a huge part of who I am for over 20 years. The good news is im not losing very fast, so I have time to adjust to it.

Nope.. not weird at all.... Being a fat girl is part of WHO I AM.. I have been fat for 40 years. I actually never agonized over being fat and it wasn't until I started being concerned with the health aspect and certain things that I felt limited by.. that I seriously considered this surgery. Fat IS part of my identity.. just like ethnicity, or height might be for many people, it's just what I have always been and it has shaped me. I have absolutely NO idea what it will feel like to be normal weight or who I will be then... It's scary.. but kind of exciting too.

You've learned many things. Those lessons will not leave you with the fat. They are stored in your mind and heart. The real you is not the fat. Fat is excess storage. It contains no personality.

You may have relied on your big size to give you space in social circumstances. I used mine to intimidate at times. You will have to find your power in the force of your personality. Your empathy remains, your compassion as well. The fat did not give it to you. Your heart did. Now you will have a greater capacity to express your love with your new vibrancy. You can do more for more people because you are free from the drag down that fat was, you are stronger.

Your self image will change but your identity will remain the same. You will adjust to the sleek version.

Wow! What Gman said.

One day at a time Corey and you'll do great!!! Gman is definitely the man to listen to!

Thanks everyone makes me feel a lot better knowing it not just me. Gman great words... I can only wait and see what the future holds.

It is funny, I said this are thing on just yesterday. I am pre op and was talking to a friend about never weighing under 200 lbs in my adult life. I don't know my self as a "average or regular " sized person. Scary but exciting. My personality out weighs my body size is what I concluded.

and it's not just us that has to adjust. My adult daughter told me, "But Mama, I've never known you not-fat. How will I relate to you?" It is a big change and although GMan is right, we are not our fat, we are going to change. I think a big part of remaining true to oneself is being aware of how we are changing. Be conscious.

I'm new to all this, just had my surgery on the 7th, but just as others have said here being fat does not define us, hell I'm still 19 inside my head even though the calendar says I'm 56. I'm starting this journey weighing in at 450 on an under six foot frame, in a very skinny military G.I. environment where everybody else has to go to PT every day and if their waists get over 36 inches the world will come to an end. Embrace yourself, be yourself, your personality is yours and as long as we are true to ourselves we can persevere. I don't know that I'll ever be "skinny" but I'm not going to be "fat" either...I want to be me...

I know exactly what y'all mean. I was sleeved on 12/6/12 and I've lost 85 lbs to date. There are times when I don't recognize myself in the mirror. It's hard to take that. I've been used to a certain image of myself and it freaks me out. People look at me differently now and that's hard too. I don't have to constantly feel like I have to be defensive anymore. I'm sure i'll adjust in time but its going to be a while. It's ok to be afraid.

wow! the closest i can remember i have been overweight since about 8. i am now 39. i have never been someone to obsess over dieting. i have never believed i had will power. i have just accepted who i was. i have confidence in myself but i know deep down i am self conscious about my weight. i have watched biggest losser since day one and i know the biggest battle is finding out why you are overweight and fixing the problem. i have never been able to pinpoint the reason. i think the op hit the nail on the head and i am concerned about the inner me that i love. just today i was looking at pics of before and after on this site. i was thinking wow look at what they have become. i realized then i am excited to see what is under all of this. i may not believe that i have will power but i know i have determination. i have surgery 6/18/13. i am starting to calm the butterflies.

p.s. i have decided i am going to begin life at 40. embrace the journey!!!

I haven't been sleeved yet, but I am worried about the weight loss too. In the last 14 years, I have doubled my weight..and then some. It took me a long time to realize how big I am- I still don't 'feel' like I am big...nor do I feel small. I don't know how I will feel when I am small again.

No, it's not weird at all. I'm waiting for insurance approval and I'm terrified of how people will look at me after surgery. I used to get a lot of make attention when I was younger and thinner and even then, I wasn't normal BMI. I haven't had to deal with being hit on or stares or anything like that for 20 years. All my friends that know keep telling me I'm going to be so hot and all this kind of crap. To be honest, I never liked a lot of attention. I had a destination wedding because the thought of people staring at me was uncomfortable.... So NO, your not weird for being scared about losing weight. I'm with you.

I started gaining weight around 12, before that I was thin. I don't remember what it felt like not to be fat. I feel like all of my mannerism, my personality, my understanding of people, my empathy, who i am as a person is because I am fat and had to learn how to exist in a skinny world. I feel like I am me, because i am fat. So now i am worry about not being fat, that as the pounds leave me, other pieces of who i am will to. that i will wake up and be different and that scares me the most. Don't get me wrong i know my quality of life will improve 100 times over when i lose weight, i will be able to do things i can't do now because i am to big to slow, and i get to tired to fast. I know my health will get better, health is the biggest reason i am doing this. but I am just scare of not being fat.....

I understand completely. You will see that as time goes, a new but better "you" will surface & you will get to know the new you. It's a great experience. I'm going through it now. I love my new found confidence & parts of me that lay dormant for so long are resurfacing....good parts. Best wishes! Go for it! Therer is a saying that says "Do it, even with fear."