I was on the phone with a friend I met in the hospital. She met my hubby and asked about how my husband was handling eating. I said " girl he doesn't care. He drove me to Chick-fila on the way home from the hospital. He was eavesdropping at the door. Now he won't talk to me. Just what I need! He did take me to chick fila and they have been eating in front of me and it is hard, but I really didn't mean to say he hasn't been helpful, because he has been a tremendous help. I was really just talking and he heard the worst of the conversation. Am I evil?

No...you didn't lie.

No you are not evil. I was telling someone about my husband, who basically does the same thing. A week out from surgery we were in a neighboring town and had done some shopping and running around and suddenly he was hungry and had to have a burger. I luckily had just bought some protein powder in individual packets and bought a milk and while he ate his double burger and fries I had my protein shake. He is always saying he feels guilty while he is eating in front of me, and I tease him that he should, but in reality we will have to endure this situation many times, many places and I just tease him and he knows it. You just might have to have a heart to heart with your hubby and let him know how much you appreciate his help, but that sometimes this is hard for us. Teasing is a way of letting him off the hook without letting him off completely. Good luck.

I guess he's mad because I said he didn't care. He said he only went because I said it was ok, but was I supposed to tell him no, don't pick up food for the kids?

No, but maybe he needs some reassurance and help with how you're experiencing things. He doesn't understand and won't unless you tell him. He might be frustrated too because he felt you were telling someone else how you felt and not him. This is a tremendous change for you, and for him. Often times spouses will feel rejected, and neglected as their significant other suddenly changes (physically and emotionally) before their eyes and they have no way to cope with it. I'm not saying either of you is wrong, but I think you both need to talk about it. Try to know he is going through a lot too, he doesn't have his 'partner in crime' the same way he used to. He is probably mourning the loss of eating with you. It may sound silly, but our culture puts a lot of emphasis on food as reward, food for bonding, food for comfort, when you stop using that bonding tool, he is stuck holding the other end of it, not knowing how to communicate his feelings to you. I hope you're both able to talk it through!

Apologize, tell him you used the wrong words to get your point across. Do something nice and unexpected for him, let him know you care and you appreciate him. If that doesn't work smack him on the rear end, he may like that . Good Luck!!

EDITED:

What I wrote made some assumptions that may not have been fair to your husband.

If he did ask you if it was okay and you said yes, then maybe it wasn't very fair of you to say he didn't care. Evil? No. But probably not the right thing to do.

Either way, you still need to talk to him. Make sure he knows you were just blowing off steam and you didn't really mean he didn't care.

Good luck.

Lmao no your not evil and my hubby does the same but his is a huge bag of Reesie cups EVERY week he Has a very athletic build 6"0 175lb and eats junk all the time. Lucky for him I could care less about junk chocolate food he brings home a bag of chips I'll kill him lmao

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Good advice for me..so I don't make the same mistake. I just told my family tonight that they are cooking thier own meals and I will just have my yummy protein shake..they said that is fine.

EDITED:

What I wrote made some assumptions that may not have been fair to your husband.

If he did ask you if it was okay and you said yes' date=' then maybe it wasn't very fair of you to say he didn't care. Evil? No. But probably not the right thing to do.

Either way, you still need to talk to him. Make sure he knows you were just blowing off steam and you didn't really mean he didn't care.

Good luck.[/quote']

He really is supportive in most ways. He actually is trying to do the diet with me even though he is already small. Still, I am hungry and I wish there was a way to not watch him eat red Beans and rice or Chick fila sandwiches or anything for that matter because I'm still on soft liquids. I'm starving and I just want to chew something. I really didn't mean it as a "bad" thing. Seriously. He is a great husband!!

Lmao no your not evil and my hubby does the same but his is a huge bag of Reesie cups EVERY week he Has a very athletic build 6"0 175lb and eats junk all the time. Lucky for him I could care less about junk chocolate food he brings home a bag of chips I'll kill him lmao

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Ha ha ha ha. My hubby's thing is reesies cups as well. Thank God I HATE chocolate so that will not be a problem after surgery, but the fast food is going to be the death of me Pretty sure the kids are going to learn to forget what McDonald's is. He he.

I might get flak for this...but pretty sure a BJ will solve the problem!!!

I might get flak for this...but pretty sure a BJ will solve the problem!!!

Ha haha hahahaha!! Well you may get flack BUT you are so right!!!!! Lmao.

I might get flak for this...but pretty sure a BJ will solve the problem!!!

You know. I thought about that, but I have this weird hairy tongue thing going on. It makes me want to gag anyway. I don't know how well that would go. ????

You know. I thought about that, but I have this weird hairy tongue thing going on. It makes me want to gag anyway. I don't know how well that would go. ????

I have three words for you:

Hitachi Magic Wand

You won't be sorry and neither will he!

I might get flak for this...but pretty sure a BJ will solve the problem!!!

Nope, I'm pretty sure this will take at least 2, maybe even 3.