Spouses reaction 2 weight loss

[Pelekania 156]

Oh he actually told me that he couldn't commit to me that becz of my weight that he would cheat.. so at that point i decided he doesn't deserve me heavy or skinny.. so you're right that's on him.

Girl toss him to the side. If cheating is in him, he will cheating whether you are big or small!

[PdxMan 4,292]

But you cant stay if youre miserable. Not fair to anyone

There is the belief that marriages should not be disposable. Hit one road bump and toss it out the window. Committed relationships are hard. Sometimes, there are miserable times. I have found the level of rigorously honest communication determines the level of my misery in about all of my relationships.

IF I am open and honest about my life, struggles and victories with my significant other, then I find they will be more likely to do the same. Misery can be transformed into being closer than you ever knew you could be.

But, of course, you have to be honest with yourself, first. What is your motivation for wearing outfits you know your spouse finds questionable? Is it to feel better about yourself? If that is true, then that points to needing attention from men and women who are not your spouse. Is it to upset your spouse because you know he doesn't like it? Hopefully you can see the issue there.

Anyway you look at it, you are seeking attention and there must be a root cause for this.

[chitowngirl 884]

I think pdx man is right on the money. I love getting compliments from people, but the ones that matter the most are those from my loved ones. When I need attention I do make it a point to let my husband know. I have no problem with letting him know that he needs to take me someplace nice so I can dress nice and sexy for him and with him. There have been a few times when my head has gotten a little big, and I just have remember while my confidence is boosted, I don't want it to be at the expense of my husband or our marriage.

I'm not sure of all of the specifics of your situation, but it may be that your husband needs reassurance. Sometimes just saying it isn't enough. I wish you the best of luck.

[Nicole Chavez 87]

I'm pre-op but surgery is around the corner. My hubby has always been a "chubby chaser" as I've heard it referred to as lol. I've also been wondering how he'll react to me losing a lot of weight. He says he'll still be attracted to me cause he is also a milf lover lol so I'm glad that he'll still be in to me! But over all he would live me through anything thick and thin lol he is a good hubby:)

[tpietrowski 102]

I had a discussion with him... Expressed my feelings and fears. He does have insecurities but asked him that we work on them together and he not push those onto me. Told him right now all as I needed to support I don't need any fighting again I'm happily married and not going anywhere and at this journey is For me to be healthy and be a good mom and a good wife.

[UTGal99 327]

I had a discussion with him... Expressed my feelings and fears. He does have insecurities but asked him that we work on them together and he not push those onto me. Told him right now all as I needed to support I don't need any fighting again I'm happily married and not going anywhere and at this journey is For me to be healthy and be a good mom and a good wife.

And how did that go????

[PdxMan 4,292]

I had a discussion with him... Expressed my feelings and fears. He does have insecurities but asked him that we work on them together and he not push those onto me. Told him right now all as I needed to support I don't need any fighting again I'm happily married and not going anywhere and at this journey is For me to be healthy and be a good mom and a good wife.

So, you told him what he needs to do, but have you examined what your motivations are behind why you need to dress provocatively? Did you read the third paragraph in my last post?

In every conflict, we each have a role and a part. It is too easy just to put it off on the other person.

[Huntingnurse 510]

So' date=' you told him what he needs to do, but have you examined what your motivations are behind why you need to dress provocatively? Did you read the third paragraph in my last post?

In every conflict, we each have a role and a part. It is too easy just to put it off on the other person.[/quote']

She probably wants to enjoy LOOKING good and FEELING good about herself for probably the first time in quite some time. I know when i hit goal im seeing myself do everything i can to look and feel my best. If someone has a problem with it then forget them. She ahould be able to feel good about HERSELF without feeling bad or answering to someone with insecurity issues. One thing i dont tolerate is controlling jealousy - nobody should. Its not healthy.

[tpietrowski 102]

Didn't realize it was a crime to dress and feel positive. Maybe some of you should look in the mirror before judging other people's lives. This post was meant for positive help and some suggestions as to how to keep my marriage thriving during this process. Just because I choose to dress my age and not hide all of God's gifts does not make me any less of a woman. Obviously you're 1 of the jealous men who like to tell their women what they can and cannot wear and that's why you have an issue with this post...

[PdxMan 4,292]

Wow ... must have struck a nerve. Re-read my posts. If you can argue that each person doesn't have a role in a disagreement, then ... god bless you.

All I said was to take a look at the motivation behind your own behaviors. That is all any of us can do. We cannot and should not attempt to read the other person's mind as I am not trying to read your. I didn't say you were wrong whatsoever. All I said was to look at root causes.

[Huntingnurse 510]

Just because someone wants to dress nice or look sexy doesn't mean they are out to have an affair. She wants to feel good about the way she looks and feel attractive. I get that.

[SummersGirl 41]

Just because someone wants to dress nice or look sexy doesn't mean they are out to have an affair. She wants to feel good about the way she looks and feel attractive. I get that.

Absolutely! Wearing clothes that make you feel good about how you look doesn't mean you are seeking attention from others. It simply means you want to feel good when you look at yourself in the mirror instead of cringing, not running away from cameras, etc. I've spent my adulthood looking frumpy and choosing clothes that cover my body instead choosing clothes that look good. I cannot imagine that my husband would want to control what I wear. We have mutual respect for each other and are very secure in our relationship.

[mark! 449]

My wife dresses pretty conservative right now, but as the weight comes off, I know she'll be wearing little sun dresses and such, I can't wait for that, I enjoy seeing her looking good, turning heads in public. Not that anyone would make a move with me holding her hand, plus she's told guys off before in the past, it's a lot of fun to see.

Guys who are controlling and overly jealous, I get where they're coming from. They've found a good thing, hell, a great thing, and they're worried it's gonna get up and leave, find something better. I'm sure you're an amazing woman, and the best wife, and he KNOWS that, he's just worried that after everything is said and done, you won't be his.

Too many people take it as just being an a*****e, but there's usually always an underlying cause as to why he acts a certain way. Most of the time, it has very little to do with you, or what you're actually wearing. Continue to talk with him, don't talk at him or down to him talk with him. Sit down, and just ask him what he feels and why he thinks the way he does.

I agree that after a while, once every effort has been made to salvage a relationship, there comes a point when two people simply just can't make it work, and need to go their own ways. BUT, to me, that's abso-freaking-lutely the absolute very last step one should take. That's just me though. Not everyone thinks the same way I suppose and marriage means different things to different people, especially to people who haven't even been married.

It's going to take some push, and some pull, some sacrifices on both ends to come to a resolution, but I think two level headed mature people who love each other should be able to come to a peaceful conclusion regarding anything that happens.

[PdxMan 4,292]

Just because someone wants to dress nice or look sexy doesn't mean they are out to have an affair. She wants to feel good about the way she looks and feel attractive. I get that.

Wow, now I said or implied she was looking for an affair? You are really reading a lot into my posts. Amazing how they can be so mis-interpreted.

Have you even read my posts or just gave them a quick glance? Try re-reading them without cynicism.

I'm really not trying to be negative but supportive. Especially in relationships, it does everyone good to examine your own role in a disagreement. Pretty much in EVERY situation, each party has some culpability.

[SummersGirl 41]

What is your motivation for wearing outfits you know your spouse finds questionable? Is it to feel better about yourself? If that is true' date=' then that points to needing attention from men and women who are not your spouse. [/quote']

Getting attention from others is not why all people dress the way they do. Some, sure, but not all. Some people just want to look good for themselves. Looking good can make you feel good. It doesn't mean you need attention from others. Even if I know I won't be leaving the house and seeing any other adults in a day, I still like to dress nice and put on makeup so that I look good for myself and it makes me feel good.