Ok so the other day I was watching Oprah, and there was a woman on there who had had RNY. She looked great, very much health improved. Anyways she said something that sparked my interest. She said that she is not attracted to overweight men or men who are attracted to overweight women. She was like 600 pounds to begin with, and is now about 200.

So I thought, hmmm Im gonna do a poll! I want to know how you ladies and gents feel about this issue. Just for the fun of it, just out of curiosity, and just because I really like polls.

I wonder if these statistics are the same as the general population? Hm I guess theres no way to poll them on LBT lol.

I work for a webcam chat site with 3 million members. Part of my job is running the weekly survey. I've posted the following question there and will post the results from it here next week. Usually get a few thousand responses at least... should give us some idea.

I am physically attracted to people who are:-

A. Skinny - the skinnier the better

B. Fit and trim

C. Curvy and cuddly - I like something to hold onto

D. Large - the bigger the better

E. I don't care about appearance - it's what's on the inside that counts

F. Other - please specify

I work for a webcam chat site with 3 million members. Part of my job is running the weekly survey. I've posted the following question there and will post the results from it here next week. Usually get a few thousand responses at least... should give us some idea.

I am physically attracted to people who are:-

A. Skinny - the skinnier the better

B. Fit and trim

C. Curvy and cuddly - I like something to hold onto

D. Large - the bigger the better

E. I don't care about appearance - it's what's on the inside that counts

F. Other - please specify

My experience tells me that many people will chose E, but they will live A, B or C. People lie to themselves. They do not want to admit their prejudices even to themselves, let alone a survey. :puke:

A friend of mine who is MO (220kg/485lbs) a few years back went to a "chubby chaser" nightclub in Melbourne.

She HATED it!

She said most of the guys were very creepy and seemed to have a "fat fetish". They were all over her telling her they love her fat and one guy told her that heaven for him would be burying himself in her fat.....Yuck.

She felt like they didn't want to know her or date her just treat her like a big fat blowup doll.

She also met a guy who described himself as "fat curious" and just wanted to have sex with a MO to see what is would be like.

Now it's one thing to love a bit of meat on a woman's bones (like many men do...my hubby included...god bless them) but to ONLY want to be with a woman because of her rolls of fat....that's a bit sad.

I work for a webcam chat site with 3 million members. Part of my job is running the weekly survey. I've posted the following question there and will post the results from it here next week. Usually get a few thousand responses at least... should give us some idea.

I am physically attracted to people who are:-

A. Skinny - the skinnier the better

B. Fit and trim

C. Curvy and cuddly - I like something to hold onto

D. Large - the bigger the better

E. I don't care about appearance - it's what's on the inside that counts

F. Other - please specify

Cool Parvathi, It'll be interesting to see what you come up with. Thanks!! :puke: :bolt::bananapowerslide:

Now it's one thing to love a bit of meat on a woman's bones (like many men do...my hubby included...god bless them) but to ONLY want to be with a woman because of her rolls of fat....that's a bit sad.

If it is wrong to exclude someone for being fat, then how can it be right to exclude EVERYONE for not being fat?

I have known people who would exclude people for the weirdest reasons. In men's cases: her 34c breasts were too big, her 38D breast were too small.

In general: he/she wears glasses, he/she doesn't wear glasses, his/her butt is too big, his/her butt is too small, his/her hair is the wrong color, his/her race is the same as mine, his/her race is different than mine.

In women: he is bald, his hair is too long, he has a beard, he doesn't have a beard.

People claim that they are looking for a mate, but they act like they are shopping for a piece of furniture to match their decor. Even well into my marriage, I have gotten along with women. The women are friends of both me and my wife, but tend to ask me for advice regarding men. I tell them "look for a guy who treats you nice and you can talk to. Look for someone who even if he was married or both of you were married, you would still enjoy his (non-sexual) company".

Most women bring home the same losers, time after time. We as people of weight know what it is to make bad choices because that food LOOKS so good or smells so good, though we know the consequences of eating it. Sometimes we eat it anyway and suffer for a few minutes with PB's or sometimes it tastes bad and disappoints us. Many of us keep making that same mistake over and over. Well, people who are dating sometimes make the same mistake over and over; they shop for a mate with their eyes to the exclusion of almost everything else.

I would not want a guy if he was a fattie lover.. no way..

I understood what she was talking about (on oprah)

I do think that we have the same rights as anyone else to exclude a potential lover on the basis of his looks, though we do not have a right to exclude a potential friend.

When we go hunting for a house we have a set of criteria that we want met for we are searching for our ideal home. When it comes down to the practice we all find ourselves making compromises. We may opt for fewer bathrooms in order to get that dream kitchen for example. But one thing we all have in common is this: nobody is going to buy an ugly house. It is fortunate that your idea of looks is different from mine and so most of us go away from our hunting experiences (for a house or a mate) relatively content.

We not only live in a lookist society, we are lookist ourselves. It is just a simple fact of nature. We are all initially attracted to that which looks beautiful. This is why industrial zones are never featured on travel brochures. This is why Hollywood puts their thin beautiful actors into the fat suits or spends 4 hours before a shoot putting their ugly make-up on. This is why you want your home to look pretty and why you have had the lapband operation.

My ideal of male beauty was influenced by my father who was short, dark, thin and very, very handsome. This is what turns my crank. Most of the guys I have been involved with have been tall and thin and there has been one or two blondies in the mix. (For some reason they are often younger than I am, too. Go figure.) But I had a 7-year relationship with a fat guy who was one of the best looking guys I had ever seen - from the neck up. Initially I was too freaked out to look at his body and so we spent the first 4 months of our relationship in the dark but, man, I have never felt as petite and protected and feminine as when I was cuddled up against him in bed. I grew to love his bulk. There is nothing wrong with being a lookist. There is something wrong with being rigid and inflexible.

My DH was big when I met him, and is still a little big now. His 44 inch waist is fine with me. I love him for him.

My husband is 6' 1" and I am 4' 11 1/2". That presents more problems than the fact that he is 215 pounds and I am 125. I was the shortest girlfriend he ever had, and he is the tallest guy I ever dated. Dancing is awkward and photos are difficult to frame properly, but who cares? "Equally yoked" has nothing to do with height or weight....it means are your hearts in the same place.

Ok... this won't be a popular answer. But I prefer men that are more lean and fit. Its true... I am not lean or fit BUT thats what I prefer. Mark Whalberg in his day had a perfect bod, still not bad! My husband is about 6 ft and 170#'s. He actually looks better now than when I met him 25 years ago. He's more fit and not just so thin. I on the other hand have went from being a aerobics teacher @ a size 5 or 7 to a size 18! He would prefer as he has told me gently that I was smaller. However we do have a great marriage and friendship so we go on.......Things are not perfect BUT your size is not everything either!

I like guys that are tall....6'0"+...and especially in the 6'3" - 6'5"+ range! I want to feel totally encompassed when they hug me - maybe it is a security feeling thing. I think 'thin' can be attractive but I like the "football/hockey player" build....very broad shoulders, a little meat/muscle, and great legs. Then add in dark hair or shaved head, fair-ish skin, light eyes, and a fantastic personality - HELLO!!!!! My biggest thing....must have great teeth and smile!!!!! But I agree that the inside makes a HUGE difference!!

I'm a little scared to date someone that is morbidly obese due to eating issues....because I do not want to fall back in to my old habit. It's more a selfish fear. I would absolutely make them my friends!!!

Is that biased? Maybe. I look at the profiles on Match and you would be AMAZED at how specific people get when they describe their perfect mate. I describe myself as "Curvy"....my curves just happen to be a little bigger than others!!!

As for chubby chasers - I think the situation could be very difficult to control because they will not want for us to change our bodies in to something that we have worked so diligently to obtain. I have heard of guys that will strongly urge food on their S.O. to get them to gain weight...I just cannot handle that after the significant changes and sacrifices I have made in my life to get this far! There are clubs out there specifically for chubby chasers?!?!

~Tiffany~

I want a guy to have a huge heart and a decent size brain. Size of other body parts is negotiable.

A guy must:

• Be taller than me, so at least 6ft. DH is 6'4 and it's just about perfect.
  
• Have broad shoulders (no guys who look like a pyramid with a head stuck on top).
  
• Have a chin (don't care for weak chins), preferably not a cleft chin.
  
• Clean fingernails (because the condition of the hands can tell you a lot about the person's overall habits).
  
• No what I refer to as "Chicklet teeth"... where there are oversized gums and teeny, tiny little teeth. That kind of creeps me out.
  
• Not be skinny, like "bean pole" skinny.

That's pretty much it for must-have physical traits. Aside from the above, hands & arms can make or break a guy's sexiness. Some women are butt women, some are bulge women, some are back women... I like hands & forearms.

OK, fellow bandsters. I'm just talking about IN GENERAL, and first impressions: When it comes to men, I am attracted to the ones who are a little on the scrawny side; whereas I tend to be more attracted to a plumper, more substantial woman.

Guess this was the topic a few days ago, but i wanted to put in my two-cents' worth.

Quote from previouse post

"think it is so interesting that 80% of the ppl so far on lbt who have voted (79 votes thus far), are attracted to overweight ppl. I would really like to know what the general populations votes would be. I wonder if our time as being overweight ourselves change what our attractions are. "

I am a little behind the times but I don't think you can interpret the results that way. I would say that 80% of the vote indicates that people are here are less likely to be atrracted to the other folks who they are interacting with on this forum, especially before banding.

Only response 1 and 2 are responses that indicate to me that the respondants have no problem with weight and even then only 2% prefer it.

Response number 3 is very subjective and it would indicate to me someone who many times does not want to admit they would prefer someone who is not obese and definetly not morbidly obese.

On a personal note I am married to the love of my life and no matter how heavy she became she would still be the love of my life. The big question, and the one I am afriad to answer is; would I be attracted to her today if she was overweight and we just met? I wish I could say yes but I am ashamed to admit that I may not be being honest with myself.