Ok so the other day I was watching Oprah, and there was a woman on there who had had RNY. She looked great, very much health improved. Anyways she said something that sparked my interest. She said that she is not attracted to overweight men or men who are attracted to overweight women. She was like 600 pounds to begin with, and is now about 200.

So I thought, hmmm Im gonna do a poll! I want to know how you ladies and gents feel about this issue. Just for the fun of it, just out of curiosity, and just because I really like polls.

So, TOM....do you like fat chicks, or would you prefer sporting around town with a Barbie doll on your arm? Be honest now. Not asking if you love your wife despite a few extra pounds, just what your druthers are. If Julia Roberts came on to you, would you turn her down?

ok so maybe this changes my answer...when i am walking down the street when i see someone who i think is HOT, generally they are...

manly, probably overweight but in general not MO or SMO. i like a tall man, a thicker build. i want him to be able to pick me up, throw me down and...

just kidding. in general though you dont see someones 'personality' when your walking down the street checking them out so its strictly superficial.

the man i married is perfect (for me) inside and out! :clap2: :clap2: :clap2:

Mmm. yeah, that adds a bit of complexity.

Will a MO man turm me on, in a first physical impress kind of way? No.

Could a MO man that I know and respect turn me on? Yes.

That's what I was referring to earlier, when I said I *could*, but probably *wouldn't*... because it's all too true that the first impression is usually a physical one, and first impressions can definitely drive whether or not there's opportunity for a second impression.

I wonder if these statistics are the same as the general population? Hm I guess theres no way to poll them on LBT lol.

So, TOM....do you like fat chicks, or would you prefer sporting around town with a Barbie doll on your arm? Be honest now. Not asking if you love your wife despite a few extra pounds, just what your druthers are. If Julia Roberts came on to you, would you turn her down?

I am married for 39 years and when I met my wife she was 18 years old, 5'4" & 118 pounds and if she hadn't been a 38DD, she might have been 112 pounds. We dated, broke up got back together, broke up (I could copy and paste ad nausea, but I won't) and got married. Things were tough at the beginning and for the first 15 years, we were on the verge, but we grew, both inwardly and outwardly. Me to 327 and her to 180. I am now in the 250 bracket and she is in the 150 bracket. I never loved her any less at 180, not more at 118. She is my women and I would like to say, "no one could tempt me" but I will be honest and say, "I think I could resist Ms. Roberts, Angelina Jolie or a host of other movie stars".

See...I think women are less shallow than men, generally speaking. (You and all the other males on here may be the exceptions, okay? I'm just saying "in general".) I think women value integrity more than washboard abs.

You are 100% wrong. Men lie to women about sex and their desires. Women lie to men, women and most importantly themselves. Women have to get themselves drunk so they have have an excuse for their failings (or conquests in a man's eyes). I hung out with women for many years because I never got along well with men. The women would always ask my advice about their prospective boyfriends and current boyfriends. I was like the gay guy that a lot of women hang out with, except... They would always say, “Oh, I wish I could meet a guy like you, who I can talk to, share secrets with, who can dance, take me for motorcycle rides, knows how to treat a women, etc., etc...” But there I was, but I was not the “Prince Charming” with movie star looks or Schwarzenegger abs. No, women are just as shallow as men, maybe more so.

When I was freshman in college, I fell in love over the phone. I had a radio show on the campus radio station. I took phone requests and dedications. I started getting calls from this girl who would not tell me who she was. After 7 weeks, I tracked her down and we finally went out. She wore clothes to hide her fantastic shape, but it didn't matter to me what she looked like. She was a junior, 3 years older than me. We dated my freshman year and half my sophomore at which point I left school. I came back after a year and she had graduated. We lived in different states and went our own way, but about 5 years ago, we started corresponding again. She is now a 64 year old grandmother and my wife would have more to worry about in her than about Julia or Angelina, that is if she had to worry at all. We now are all friends. Her new husband, her, my wife and myself all got together at their home recently when my wife and I went to Disney World (for a visit, not what you people are thinking).

No, I don't get turned on my overweight women. My biological sexual reflexes respond to the movie star, no not fashion model, types. That is ingrained in my genes and can't be helped, but I don't come on to anyone.

TOM

PS: Oh, a few weeks ago, I seduced a young chick at the mall and when we got to here house and got on the bed, she stopped me at the last moment (when I was nude). She was afraid that at my age, I might have a heart attack on top of her and die, and at my weight she might not be able to push me off and would die herself from suffocation. :faint:

LMAOROTF Tired old Man...my ass! At least you're honest! Whoever said that women aren't shallow isn't exactly wrong, they are just confusing shallowness with compasion, love, and emotion. Women are probably, generally more attracted to the emotional, intellectual and sexual prowess of a man than just to their looks or their bodies. I am any way. I do love a nice ass on a guy, but sexy eyes turn me on just about as much. I also love a chiseled jawline and Marlboro man ruggedness and big bicepts, But I love the feeling that a confident man can give me too.

Most of my lifetime best friends have been men. I have only had about 5 or 6 women in my life who I can truly say are friends. Why?? probably because women are much much more shallow when it comes to judging other women than men are when it comes to friendships. BUT...when it comes to men judging women for sexual relationships that when the gloves come off. A mans woman is a reflection of his sexiness and his manliness...blah, blah, blah...I don't believe that most men are comfortable enough about themselves to not be ashamed of a fat woman, even if that fat woman is their best friend and lover, until they are at least 50 if ever. Notice I said most men, there are the few specimans out there who have reached emotional maturity early and can appreciate the unconditional love of a best friend/lover who happens to be a bit chunky...so who cares...I love her...those men aare few and far between and are as rare and precious as gold. I have one...I know.

Sorry for rambling....love ya'll

They would always say, “Oh, I wish I could meet a guy like you, who I can talk to, share secrets with, who can dance, take me for motorcycle rides, knows how to treat a women, etc., etc...” But there I was, but I was not the “Prince Charming” with movie star looks or Schwarzenegger abs.

See...you proved my point for me. Those women all wanted you (or someone like you), in spite of the fact that you weren't the buffest guy around.

I still think that to most men, looks are everything unless they fall in love with you BEFORE you get old, gain weight, lose your teeth, develop saggy boobs, etc. I whine all the time to my husband that I wish he had known me when I was young and pretty. I think when they have that picture of you in their mind's eye from 35 years ago, it really helps.

I like my men (and women lol) to have curves. I am not attracted to someone who's morbidly obese, but I'm *really* not attracted to stick figures.

I know this is so hypocritical, I just posted a blog about this a few weeks ago on MySpace about this. Its so weird how Im not in any way attracted to overweight guys. A little pudginess doesnt bother me, but for some reason a bigger guy just doesnt turn me on, I dont see them as desirable, I dunno why? Its just how Im made up I guess. I have only dated guys that could work (or do work) for Abercrombie and Fitch and thats really weird to me. My recent just got a job there! The strange thing is I dont EXPECT normal size guys to be attracted to me, so I do make it a point to show that Im losing weight, even tho they really probably dont even give a rip?! I know, sounds strange

My Brothers Are 6'6" And 6'5" And Because I Have Been Big And Then Mo, I Have Always Liked Tall And Large Men. I Guess It Made Me Feel Smaller. Or Normal.

Ladydi

See...you proved my point for me. Those women all wanted you (or someone like you), in spite of the fact that you weren't the buffest guy around.

I think you missed my point. I was everything they wanted, except for looks, so they never gave me a chance. They would constantly pick guys who mistreated them and gave them heartache, but were "so cute". One girl who I hung out with for quite a while (at least 6 or 7 boyfriends) would tell me, "Oh TOM, I met this wonderful guy last night" and then go on to tell me, blow by blow what they said and did. After she was finished talking I would say, "I don't like him because..." and give her good reasons. She would say, "You are wrong this time...". But 6 weeks or 3 months later, I would be wiping the tears from her eyes. I would hear, "why can't I find a guy like you...?" Each guy she would meet was a model for this fashion magazine or had done TV commercials, some were personal trainers, all were fine physical specimens, looking to put another notch on their bedpost.

I still think that to most men, looks are everything unless they fall in love with you BEFORE you get old, gain weight, lose your teeth, develop saggy boobs, etc. I whine all the time to my husband that I wish he had known me when I was young and pretty. I think when they have that picture of you in their mind's eye from 35 years ago, it really helps.

We live in a society where looks are paramount. People (both male and female) brag about how good their dating or mating partners look. I see no difference. My female friends always said they knew which guy they wanted as soon as they walked into the room.

The major difference IMHO, between men and women is that men allow their hormones to point them at the choice woman in the room, but only to mate (though not with conception on their conscience mind). After sex, they want the next fine looking one. Men needn't care what stupid things come out of a women's mouth, they just want to put something in. No matter how stupid a women might be, if she is great looking, she will have a hard time chasing the man away with stupid conversation.

Women do the same thing except they want a long term relationship with "Prince Charming". Women, therefor will not allow too much stupidity from an air-headed "dream-boat". She will make excuses for awhile and rationalize his dumb moves, but after a few weeks, she will move on to someone who can think.

But the result was the same in both cases. Wasn't it? :faint:

I better stop now. Too much honesty is hard on you women.

I would hear, "why can't I find a guy like you...?"

I get it! Why can't a find a guy like you, but not you? I've found you, and you have all the mental/emotional qualities I want, but I still want someone like you and not you yourself... herego, you're not what I want physically. :heh:

It's that "I'm glad we're friends" syndrome.

I know this is so hypocritical, I just posted a blog about this a few weeks ago on MySpace about this. Its so weird how Im not in any way attracted to overweight guys. A little pudginess doesnt bother me, but for some reason a bigger guy just doesnt turn me on, I dont see them as desirable, I dunno why? Its just how Im made up I guess. I have only dated guys that could work (or do work) for Abercrombie and Fitch and thats really weird to me. My recent just got a job there! The strange thing is I dont EXPECT normal size guys to be attracted to me, so I do make it a point to show that Im losing weight, even tho they really probably dont even give a rip?! I know, sounds strange

In most cases men have no ability to decide who turns them on. When you feel something growing between you legs, you know. Women that I am close to have told me about a tingling sensation when they see “Mr. (physically) Right”. Of course as thinking animals we should be able to overlook the sensations and deal with the personality rather than the looks, but many times we never get to talk to the one we are not attracted to.

I always tell the story of my first meeting with my wife (over 42 years ago). It was love at first sight. I walked into a friends party and my wife was dancing next to a her best friend. I took one look at my wife's best friend and I was enamored. I started renting an apartment from my wife's parents and broke my angle the first day after I moved in so for the next few weeks, I kept giving my wife messages to give to her friend who I had gotten to know at the party. After a while, my wife and I became friends, then a couple. The other girl? Haven't seen her in 40 years, though her sister is my son's Godmother. The funny part about it was my wife was being chased by dozens of guys, she was even a model for a while. I could see she was beautiful, but then other girl made my head spin.

I don't believe that most men are comfortable enough about themselves to not be ashamed of a fat woman, even if that fat woman is their best friend and lover, until they are at least 50 if ever. Notice I said most men, there are the few specimans out there who have reached emotional maturity early and can appreciate the unconditional love of a best friend/lover who happens to be a bit chunky...so who cares...I love her...those men aare few and far between and are as rare and precious as gold. I have one...I know.

The exception to the rule seems to be Black men. I have a lot of Black friends and I went to a wedding recently between a mid-40's, 5'9”, 150 pound man and a late 30's 5'6”, 400 pound women. All sizes are guesstimates. I know the man for many years and he has previously dated women in the same weight class.

When I was working and we had union picnics, a lot of the white guys were meeting in clusters the next day at work to discuss the sizes of the dates and wives of many of our Black coworkers. “Did you see the size of the elephant that Jones brought to the picnic?” Or, “did the see the whale that Barny is married to?” The Black guys if they were ashamed could have skipped the picnic, but they were not. Many of these Black men were young and the women were fat when they were married. Many of the Black men I worked with would bring in family pictures to show the other guys. They habitually contained photos of normal to slim men with huge women. Even if the coworker's wife was slim, his brother or friends in the pictures would invariably be with huge women. White guys would never bring in pictures like that.

I think men and women (of my generation which is the only one I know about) are the same.

We can all want someone model type sexually in 1 second flat. And if the guy can get it he'll take it, and not care what else she may or may not have going for her. But a woman (at least a good girl lol) won't endulge her libido unless that model type has something big between his.. err..ears haha.

When it comes to an actual relationship we all want the same things. Love, respect, friendship, honesty, intelligence, humor etc. And I think we can all get a crush on someone if we get to know them if they have the virtues we desire, even if they are lacking in the looks dept. The exception being if their physical attributes actually repulse us. And you can't always help that.. the heart wants what the heart wants.. and some other body parts too lol.

The divorce rate is so high because many make excuses for the short-comings of the prospective mate until they marry and living together proves more unbearable than they thought it would be.

And many people I know who have been divorced repeatedly go back repeatedly to clones of their previous partners. :faint:

Personality and who they are as a person, (morals, values) are what matter most to me. That being said, I do want a man who looks like a man. I like to see some meat and muscle on my man. He has both and I just love him and wouldn't trade him for the world.