Carlene

I adopted a newborn (long ago, granted) from an agency that uses a sliding fee scale - the less income you have, the less you pay them. We were responsible for our own attorney fees and court costs related to the actual adoption.

BJ....I have friends of the same mind-set. Reality sometimes has a way of humbling people like that. Should one of them experience the heartbreak of a drug-addicted child, they will change their "kill-'em-all" tune in a hurry. Should they have a child, or a grandchild, born with serious birth defects not covered by insurance, they will put their pride in their back pocket and BEG "the system" for help. (Trust me, I know all about that one.) Bad things happen to good people all the time. And many times, people do bring adversity on themselves. But as long as there is breath in the body, there is hope for the spirit. I pray today for all the troubled souls who need the help and guidance and encouragement of their stronger friends and neighbors. It takes a village....not just to raise a child, but to care for and lift up one another.

One can only hope. A black man or a white woman....those appear to be the choices for the Democratic nomination. I just wish the Republicans would run Condoleza Rice. That would make it perfect. All those redneck racists and chest-thumping macho men pulling their hair out at the same time.

How so? The Princess did not say that black men are more generously endowed....only that her criteria for marriage is size, rather than color.

Not a philosophy I would endorse, but I love your free-thinking spirit, Princess.

I agree with you, G Lady. That would be a lot like me buying one of Ann Coulter's books. I'd rather staple my head to the floor!

I married a single dad, although his kids did not live with him until AFTER we got married. My advice to anyone marrying a non-custodial parent.....custody arrangements can change, so don't count on part-time parenting forever. Really, anyone over the age of 35 or so who likes kids probably has one or two of his/her own, so I'm surprised it's such an issue. Unless, of course, you are looking to date younger women.

Questions like "Why are so many white women marrying black men"? won't spark a debate because the proposed topic isn't controversial - it's racist. Why are so many creepy old men buying themselves trophy wives? Because they can, I suppose. Besides, I don't know that "so many" white women really ARE marrying black men. Do you have some stats you'd like to share? Is the number higher than black women who marry white men? Does anyone even keep track of stuff like that? This is, after all, the 21st century. I have lived my entire life in the South and I do remember a time when interracial marriage was actually illegal, but that ship sailed a LONG time ago. In 1967 the United States Supreme Court ruled that all bans on interracial marriage were unconstitutional. Since then, it has steadily become a non-issue and now - 40 years later - we are raising children and grandchildren who are truly color blind. And that's a good thing. Marry whomever you like. Just be sure you like the person you marry and treat him/her accordingly.

I'm with you, Christine. I tell all and let the chips fall where they may. Just last week, someone asked me for advice on how to win the weight loss pot at their work. Everyone chips in $25 and the one who loses the most after 6 months gets all the money. I said, "Have Lap Band surgery....that's what I did." And you know what? She replied, "That's what I heard, but I wasn't sure." So remember, if you tell one person, it's not a secret.

I don't think anyone is trying to deter you. In fact, I don't believe anyone CAN. As you said yourself, you will do what you want to do. But remember that you did come here looking for input...."Do you think Filipino women make good wives"? Obviously, you were hoping we would be more encouraging, but that's the chance you take when you ask an honest question....people assume that you really want an honest answer. I only know two men who married foreign women they met through an online marriage broker. One chose a very attractive, very young Russian woman and they lasted about 5 years. The other married a Filipino woman (also much younger than himself) and they are in the process of being divorced as we speak. They have been married about 4 years. Both of these men were disenchanted with American women, but the biggest problem (IMHO) was that these men have unrealistic expectations. I have yet to see a fat old man with a hottie half his age unless there was money involved - and I don't mean the price of dinner and a movie. But that's not to say that buying yourself a trophy wife (or girlfriend) is a bad thing. If it works for both of you, that's great. I think girls who trade creature comfort for affection probably earn every dime. And as for the guys.....well, they get exactly what they paid for - nothing more and nothing less - and I don't have much sympathy for them when the rose colored glasses finally come off. I think if you really wanted to know the true measure of these girls' feelings for you, you would pretend to be a poor, but honest and hard-working, single dad looking for his happy everafter. Tell them you live in the slums, but are hoping to hook up with someone who shares your strong work ethic and thrifty lifestyle. See how many love letters that line gets you, then come back and tell us it's not about the money.

Pay toilets used to be very common in the USA. Airports had pay toilets, as did many department stores, etc. Someone filed a civil rights suit (the right to pee freely?) and thereafter, at least one stall had to be available gratis. That kind of killed the pay toilet business, so now they are totally a thing of the past.

Really? You must be acquainted with a whole different genre of Republicans than we have around here, 'cause none of our Republicans have that survivalist mentality - at least none I've ever met. Flame away, hoss.....if that's what blows your skirt up.

I went thru the Starbucks Drive Thru yesterday to buy a pound of coffee, and they had a tip jar on the outside of the window. Everyone has their hand out for a tip these days, or so it seems. I have a great tip for all of them.....don't put bananas in the refrigerator. Yep....that's the only kind of tip you'll get from me, unless you actually provide exceptional service. Mediocre wait-staff get zilch, or 5-10% at best. There are actually a couple of restaurants in my area that don't allow tipping, and I have e-mailed them to say how much I appreciate their policy. Tipping is fast becoming sanctioned begging, if you ask me (although I realize no one did), and I resent that "give me more" attitude.

Boy....that's some system! In Texas, you sign up for Medicaid and then wait several weeks for an appointment. Then you spend ALL DAY waiting to see a caseworker, only to be told you need more documentation. Getting a second appointment takes at least another month. If you successfully manage to jump thru all the hoops, you might get a Medicaid card for your kids after 3 months or so. And 6 months later, you have to re-qualify all over again. Just being a single mom won't get you squat in Texas. In fact, it can create insurmountable problems. The recent homicide/suicide in which a young woman hanged herself and her daughters in Ft Worth is a sad, but true, example. She was denied Medicaid because her husband was supposed to be paying her child support and those funds (which she was not receiving) were counted as income, making her ineligible for Medicaid.

It is a myth that any particular culture, religion, race, etc of woman will treat you better - over the long haul - than another. These women (Filipino, Russian, etc) become Americanized VERY quickly and once they do, they can't leave that old subservient wife stuff behind them fast enough. And if your intended is a lot younger/more attractive than you and you still think she isn't in it for the money, I'd like to talk to you about a bridge I have for sale. Twenty five year old Barbie dolls do not fall in love with overweight, balding, middle-aged men unless there is a pay day in their future. Sorry, but that's the truth. If you have several failed marriages in your past, you probably need to work on some issues. Just looking outside your ethnic group for a new relationship won't be the answer. Some counseling might be a good idea before you take that long walk down the aisle again. At any rate, it certainly wouldn't hurt. Ever heard that song.....Looking For Love In All The Wrong Places?

I don't disagree with you, but "those who cannot" would include children without medical insurance, in my reality. They are every bit as vulnerable and as needy and deserving as anybody's grandma. You have a good memory. Mantle received a liver quite quickly and, contrary to accepted procedure, after cancer was discovered in his existing organ. I spoke personally and at some length with the team that did his transplant, however, and their story was that (a) they did not realize the cancer had spread and ( it was "literally raining livers that month"....meaning that the organ MM received did not deprive another matching recipient from getting one. That's one of the bad things about organ transplantation....it doesn't matter how high up on the list you are, an available organ can only go to someone who's a tissue and blood type match.

I'm confused....How does Lucy's comment reflect bigoted thinking?

As someone who has seen the organ transplant program up close and personal, I'd like to set the record straight regarding this misconception. Liver transplants for alcohol related Hepatitis and/or Cirrhosis are VERY closely scrutinized. No one gets an organ unless he/she has been completely sober for at least 6 months, and they are tested regularly while waiting for a liver. Same for smokers (lung AND heart transplant patients). The transplant programs will not touch a smoker - insured or not - or a drinker. Even Mickey Mantle (an alcoholic) was routinely tested. I know this because my late DH was in Baylor's liver transplant program at the same time as Mantle and I had many conversations with his wife, Marilyn.

It isn't an either/or issue, Derick. As I said before, you will/would sing a different tune should your (or yours) be so unfortunate as to need health care that was totally out of reach, financially. Medicare is a great example....Surely you don't believe their monthly premiums even begin to cover the cost of elder care in today's medical arena? I have NO parents and NO grandparents, however. So I am subsidizing health care for YOUR aging relatives. Shouldn't I be pissed about that?

And your point would be??????

Spoken like a true Republican. GW Bush must be so proud of you, Derick.

Well, for starters, because there is always the chance that "some other person" might some day have to pay for YOUR health insurance, or maybe your parents (grandparents) are on Medicare? If so, "some other person" is subsidizing their medical care. And if your insurance is thru your employer, it IS paid for, in part, by others, since the cost of doing business (including employee benefits) is passed on to the rest of us. No man is an island....we all pay into the system, and we all take from it, sooner or later - us or our parents or kids, etc. I had a grandchild born 17 yrs ago with a life-threatening birth defect. Medicaid paid for hundreds of thousands of dollars in treatment, because his dad's insurance did not pick up dependents until they were 10 days old, and excluded pre-existing conditions. Never say never, Derick.

We got another 3 inches of the wet stuff today. At this rate, we will all be needing boats to get from place to place. Good luck with the dogs,BOH. I am a resuce person myself. I just wish I could stick to rescuing dogs and let the people take care of themselves.

BOH... I can soooooo identify with what you are going thru - including the 87 year-old mother (MIL, in my case). The joke here is that we live in Seattle, TX. It is raining as I type - pouring, actually. My DH, a compulsive grass cutter and avid golfer, is near his breaking point. In addition, while I don't have 6-8 stray dogs, my daughter left her abusive husband (again) and has been at my house since Wed (3 AM Thurs, to be more precise). She walked 8 miles (in the rain) with nothing but the clothes on her back. I had to take her to get new documents (still have finished that). We were finally able to retrieve some of her clothes (and the two kids' clothes) yesterday - most of them damp and moldy. Her older child is visiting an aunt in San Antonio and comes back in less than a week. The younger one is at my son's but they are leaving Tues on vacation, so we have to find a place for the three of them very soon. We called the Battered Women's Foundation, but they are full. Check back in two weeks, they said. Thanks....that's very helpful. My son-in-law is in jail (he violated his probation from a previous assault charge, in which she was the victim), as of two days ago, but who knows when he will get out and start making all our lives truly miserable. His dad plans to bail him out as soon as possible, because he is supposed to be the best man in his brother's wedding next Sat. Best man my Aunt Fanny! That's the cruelest joke I have ever heard! The man is a psycho jerk! My DH has never lived with a lot of people, nor has he raised kids, so he is not pleased with any of this. My MIL is very critical of my family under the best of circumstances, so she keeps up a constant stream of whispered compalints - from her mouth to my DH's ear. It has not been a fun week.

Both the moms knew about the relationship and approved of it?????????? What could they possibly have been thinking?