Ok so the other day I was watching Oprah, and there was a woman on there who had had RNY. She looked great, very much health improved. Anyways she said something that sparked my interest. She said that she is not attracted to overweight men or men who are attracted to overweight women. She was like 600 pounds to begin with, and is now about 200.

So I thought, hmmm Im gonna do a poll! I want to know how you ladies and gents feel about this issue. Just for the fun of it, just out of curiosity, and just because I really like polls.

Ok maybe I'm just tired but where is the poll? Or do you just want us to post it?

LOL it took a while to type it out.. sorry!

So am I misunderstanding or did she basically say, "I'm not attracted to any man that would be attracted to me?" (assuming 200 lbs would still put her in the overweight category)

Well she said that she went to clubs for singles who are overweight. And that the men there who prefer to date only overweight women, really turned her off. She said she thinks she felt that way because inside she does not feel like an overweight person. So when thats what someone really likes about her.. she feels like they aren't really liking what she perceives as her real self. At least thats how I took it.

This is a fun poll. Ok so i put Within reason MSO's weight isn't an issue for me. But i must say i find myself attracted to thinner guys but i feel too uncomfortable being with them. Yeah i gotta go work on my self esteem. LoL But on the other side i find that bigger people are more caring. And yeah it does sound like she dosn't like people that like her.

I like beefy guys. Not skinny at all. Not particularly "obese". Kind of what I would describe as a gootball player build. Just substantial men. I don't know that I would be initially attracted to an overweight man... well, I have been attracted to overweight men, but never to a morbidly obese man. Then again, I don't really know any MO men. I do find it somewhat unattractive, though I believe it's true that some people carry themselves better than others and that too can make a difference. Large man carrying himself with pride, large man carrying himself like his self-esteem is dripping out of his shoes every time he takes a step... totally different attractions there. But once I get to know someone... I've found myself very strongly attracted to people I wasn't initally attracted to at all, once I got to know their personalities. Unfortunately that initial attraction usually makes or breaks whether or not you get to know them.

Same here Wheets, what I initially find attractive is a substantial man too. But I voted I didn't care how overweight MSO was, its other virtues that attract me. But im not sure thats true... my husband was a real looker when we were first together lol. He's still very handsome but if he were to lose his looks it wouldnt change how I feel about him one bit. I love him more today than I ever have.

I voted "Within reason MSO's weight isn't an issue for me." As much as I'd like to think I have the character to say honestly it doesn't matter, it does. MO guys don't turn me on. Obese guys probably wouldn't turn me on. Chubby - ok.

Ok, all of the following takes place pre-op when I'm at my highest, but it's easier to explain that once, then try to explain it throughout the story.

I asked my husband, "If we just met for the first time, and I looked the way I do now, would you go out with me?" and he said he didn't know, so I asked him why. His answer was pretty much the same -- he's generally not attracted to obese women, spo if he didn't already know me for who I am, he might not be attracted to me, but since he already knows me and loves me for much, much more than my outer shell, it doesn't matter to him now. Kind of like a "You're attractive because I already know you, but if I didn't know you I don't know if I'd find you attractive."

I appreciated his his honesty. If I don't find MO people physically/"first impression" attractive, how could I expect him to?

I thought that was interesting. I was not fat when I met him. He was a lot thinner too, but he put on maybe 40 lbs while I put on about 180 lbs. When the women at work talk about how their men have gained weight I say, "Well, he wore a 36 when I met him, and now he wears a 42, but who am I to talk? I could wear his jeans back then, and they were baggy."

I'm not a great sympathizer. I think I hold people too acountable for that. I know that already I'm starting to bug my husband about the way he eats. Part of me says, "Who am I do criticize anything anyone else does?" but another part of my says, "I don't want him to have to go through what I did". So if I WAS turned on/attracted to a MO guy, I don't think I would be very good at just accepting it.

I voted for "I am overweight but my MSO to be slightly overweight..." I dont know why but I enjoy a little bit of arm candy on my side...lol...Thats a very interesting question tho...Then again, the personality does make a big difference, man am I wishy washy!

Thank goodness my guy has always loved curvey women - I always liked a bigger, beefier guy but I ended up with a very thin although muscular one with a very thin extended family - its just the way it turned out. While I've always appreciated a toned body, it has always been personality that attracts me first and keeps my interest. My friend met SEVERAL hunks - mostly of the 'normal size' range from joining a big beautiful woman dating website - She is currently seeing a wondeful man from NY she met - they are planning to move in together in a few months - He is a larger guy and loves larger woman - there are tons of men and women out there (of all sizes) who prefer a larger person. She previously dated a fireman, a banker, a lawyer, a musician - a wide spectrum of gorgeous, interesting men...

Can't wait to see how the guys weigh in on this one. No pun intended.

Honestly..Weight doesn't bother me..Fluffy people tend to me more caring, lovable, compassionate. If he has a great personality that is more of a turn on for me then weight..

~Kristen

Ok so the other day I was watching Oprah, and there was a woman on there who had had RNY. She looked great, very much health improved. Anyways she said something that sparked my interest. She said that she is not attracted to overweight men or men who are attracted to overweight women. She was like 600 pounds to begin with, and is now about 200.

Another example of prejudice among people who hate prejudice.

i voted that i dont care how big they are etc. its the inside that RAELLY matters.

i wouldnt want someone who had given up and was on an all out binge everyday and steadily gaining though. its a pretty sad existance, its where i was before i heard about the band.

So, TOM....do you like fat chicks, or would you prefer sporting around town with a Barbie doll on your arm? Be honest now. Not asking if you love your wife despite a few extra pounds, just what your druthers are. If Julia Roberts came on to you, would you turn her down?

See...I think women are less shallow than men, generally speaking. (You and all the other males on here may be the exceptions, okay? I'm just saying "in general".) I think women value integrity more than washboard abs. Or maybe that's just older women. When I was in my early 40's I had a not-so-secret admirer - a cute kid (mid 20's) who insisted that he would never be happy until he was married to me. (He had dated my daughter briefly; that's how we met.) It was a great ego builder - HUGE, in fact - but I wasn't even tempted. What would we have done with the other 23 hours in the day?

PS....I was married to an overweight man 10 years my senior at this time, the man who had raised my 4 children as his own, and who was destined to die in my arms 10 years down the road. Sadly, by the time he lost his battle with Cancer, he was almost skin and bones. I definitely liked him better fat!