Ok so the other day I was watching Oprah, and there was a woman on there who had had RNY. She looked great, very much health improved. Anyways she said something that sparked my interest. She said that she is not attracted to overweight men or men who are attracted to overweight women. She was like 600 pounds to begin with, and is now about 200.

So I thought, hmmm Im gonna do a poll! I want to know how you ladies and gents feel about this issue. Just for the fun of it, just out of curiosity, and just because I really like polls.

Okay, I'm gonna put in my two cents here. I chose "within reasons my mso's weight isn't an issue for me". I will say this, beauty and sexiness come from within. I know that there are some people who just can't ever imagine being with an overweight/obese person...they cannot get past how the person looks. That's not me at all and thankfully my husband still finds me sexy and attractive even though I put on so much weight since children. He does want me healthy though, so is totally supportive of my lapband and life with the lapband. He's even lost some weight, too. I do believe that I'm as sexy and attractive as I was when I was an average size, maybe even more so as my "inner woman" has grown and developed. But, I do look forward to the outer woman and inner woman matching, although at times, I "forget" that I'm overweight if that makes sense. Pictures, plane seats, amusement park rides, knee pain, etc. help me to remember though and I'm so looking forward to those "reminders" being eliminated.

I also think your age has a lot to do with it - not so much who you are attracted to, but who you choose to pursue. Up to probably age 30 most people only date the ones they find physically attractive. They can't be bothered with searching out the "inner beauty" when the outer shell screams "ugly duckling".

Most single women my age (past 50) are looking for security. They might secretly drool over the guy who has a full head of hair and a 34" waistline, but if he doesn't have a decent portfolio, he's not going to make the short list. And that's just as self-serving as the old fool who buys himself a trophy wife/girlfriend.

Carlene, that's a great point. Hubby and I had a conversation the other night about, "If you somehow lost me, and were getting remarried, what would you look for in a spouse?" Now THAT was a really interesting conversation to have!

Hubby and I had a conversation the other night about, "If you somehow lost me, and were getting remarried, what would you look for in a spouse?" Now THAT was a really interesting conversation to have!

Did you tape it? :straight

Not at all. But it made leaps and bounds in helping us see how our interests, priorities, and values have changed -- not always for the better, or what you'd like to think of yourself as valuing.

I also think your age has a lot to do with it - not so much who you are attracted to, but who you choose to pursue. Up to probably age 30 most people only date the ones they find physically attractive. They can't be bothered with searching out the "inner beauty" when the outer shell screams "ugly duckling".

So true. Remember the teenie boppers fainting in their seats over the Beatles in the 60's, Frank Sinatra in the 40's, and the "Boy Bands" this past generation? Females are no less awed by looks than males. In fact we don't make public fools of ourselves (to quite the same degree) as girls.

BTW, the #1 physical trait that attracts the opposite gender? A slim waistline-tight abs.

Most single women my age (past 50) are looking for security. They might secretly drool over the guy who has a full head of hair and a 34" waistline, but if he doesn't have a decent portfolio, he's not going to make the short list. And that's just as self-serving as the old fool who buys himself a trophy wife/girlfriend.

And if you don't believe Carlene, just ask Anna Nicole Smith or "The Donald's Bimbo De Jour".

"Why do you love Donald?"

"He has such a wonderful sense of Humor!!"

Charlene, I don't think that's limited to your age bracket - but perhaps in terms of long-term vs. short-term security. There's the short-term security of "can we pay this month's bills?", the mid-term security of, "can we pay our child's tuition?", and long-term security of, "will we make it after we retire?" DH and I do consider all of these, but I'm not yet going to think about someone's 401k plan if I'm looking for another SO. Though I would consider their financial status, and how it would impact the household financial status, and what that could mean mid- and long-term.

And if you don't believe Charlene, just ask Anna Nicole Smith or "The Donald's Bimbo De Jour".

"Why do you love Donald?"

"He has such a wonderful sense of Humor!!"

SURE he does. Do these people really think anyone believes that crap? I wish they would stop insulting our intelligence and just own up to it...."Do I look desperate? I married him for his money, of course."

By the way, guys....there is no "h" in CARLENE. It's just like Darlene, but with a "C". Thanks....

I did it b/c that's how TOM did it. Not my fault. Notice I had it right before he went and messed up your name. :guess

I did it b/c that's how TOM did it. Not my fault. Notice I had it right before he went and messed up your name. :guess

Come on, don't blame it on the only man here.:help:

Sorry CARLENE. :phanvan I corrected it.

Copy and paste doesn't seem to work for the "quote" feature.

It doesn't really matter to me what kind of body a guy has. It's actually the face that I am attracted to. Anyways, my DH is a little chubby, not too much, and I love it. When I met him I was slim and curvey, and was told I had a hot body. Well, after gaining over a hundered pounds, I no longer think I am hot. But, thank GOD my baby is not superficial, and still thinks I'm just as beautiful. I could not imagine being turned off by him if he became morbidly obese.

I think it is so interesting that 80% of the ppl so far on lbt who have voted (79 votes thus far), are attracted to overweight ppl. I would really like to know what the general populations votes would be. I wonder if our time as being overweight ourselves change what our attractions are.

I think it probably does make us more sympathetic, more willing to get to know someone first, before making any judgments. See we are better ppl people because our weight struggle. This probably holds true for every struggle.. like the old adage says.. 'What doesn't kill us makes us stronger', so we are stronger in empathy, stronger in caring, stronger in personality. Definitely stronger in typing skills from being in this forum!!

I met a guy once who openly admitted he was attracted to my body - he prefered "meat on the bones". While at the time I was flattered - thinking back its almost like "I like you because you are thin".

Actually at the time I thought "OMG, there is hope for me - some guys LIKE big girls!"

People will always have a preference - but I try hard to look beyond the body type into the person - I've dated both smaller guys and larger guys *talking about body type, keep your mind out of the gutter* - its the guy that matters.

I have a very dear friend who has a saying...

"Big boobs, big butt, = big fun" (Well he used different words, ya know where I am going with this)

His wife calls me his girlfriend and she was the first to tell me he was going to be upset!! I was completely flattered, but I told her I am doing this to be healthy...lol...

My ideal man used to be short and very thin, built like a gymnast, and brunette. This is because this was how my father looked. Most of the men I have been involved with have been tall and thin and as I have gotten older they have gotten much better looking. I did have a plump significant other once and we were together for seven years. He was a very intelligent, very good looking man but he was big and though I liked him a lot it took me months to go to bed with him with the lights on. LOL! And yet I never felt more at home, nor more feminine than when I was lying against his body. I love my husband but he is the one man that I still think of with love and affection out of all my exes.

And as for the men, my husband didn't want me to have the lap band. He was afraid that I would get too thin. I know a few men who do prefer a fleshier woman.