Is Keeping The Secret Possible?

[lifechanges 3]

I did not tell anyone that I work with. If folks asked I told them that I was working with a professional on my life style change. Technically, not fibbing because this is going to be one for you.

It's been over a year since my surgery and the cat hasn't come out of the bag yet.

[Ren<3 11]

who's judging? we're all not children here we clearly know a lie is a lie or not the whole truth. whatever helps you sleep at night lol this topic is humorous smh!

[Lilu 65]

I have decided today, that I do not want to tell anyone at work about having surgery. Lets just say there are a lot of snotty little b*****s who snarl and look you up and down when your eating.your own birthday cupcake.

So, is there any way possible to keep it a secret? Any expieriences? i was toying with saying i was having abdominal surgery but now after today im thinking of taking vacation for a week and not saying anything about surgery. I work a desk job. But we do some lifting of boxes on occasion?

Agghhhb

My story is I need emergency surgery to remove a from my stomach. Because after surgery did not do so well. I was okay about what I did. Only my household know and my mom. I now tell people I am change my life and doing some for my self to eat healthier.

[aviiva 140]

I chose to tell very few people 3 friends at work know but on the other hand I am a therapist and some of my clients are very obese and asked me how I am losing weight I did share with them in the hope of helping this was personal decision and I do not feel bad about not wanting to shout it from the rooftops. We are all entitled to live our lives the way we choose. No one has the right to judge another what is the saying about living in glass houses

Sent from my SPH-D700 using VST

[workingonme 11]

I only told my husband and one of my sisters. I made that decision over 10 months ago and I have no regrets. Its an personal choice and everyone should do what's best for them.

[ocean_ophelia 31]

As much as I love your quote, most cancer is preventable. Smoking, pollution, living near power plants, working in a popcorn factory, living and working around mold, microwave foods, sugar free agents and a bunch of other things cause cancer. Just like obesity, our environment has changed from when we use to run around and chase our food or pick our food. Most of us work behind a desk, have fast paced lives and/or eat all the good tasting foods of the world. Cancer and Obesity is no one's fault, just the nature of our environment.

That's about the point I was trying to make. Some cancer is preventable, and one can argue obesity is preventable too, although just like some people have a predesposition toward cancer, some have a predesposition toward being obese.

[ocean_ophelia 31]

To all the people who do not agree with my decision to not tell every person that I come in contact with, well who are you to judge my decision. I did not come on here and start bashing you for revealing your personal medical decision, WLS, so don't bash me. I have told the people in my life that matter the most and to everyone else, its none of their business. I am not living a lie, just choosing who to tell and who not to. Throughout my life I have had other personal medical issues and I did not choose to broadcast them either. And I am no way embarressed about having WLS. It is one of the best choices I ever made but it is MY life and I choose to live it MY way.

And to the person 'Tell who you want or don't tell, but don't try to redefine the meaning of the word LIE just so you can feel better and make everyone else here feel better. Ok here goes-

lie/lī/ a false statement made with deliberate intent to deceive; an intentional untruth; a falsehood.

I am not redefining the word lie to make myself feel better. It is bully people like you who bully others into having to think like you. Last time I looked this is a free country for all to live their lives the way they want.

I have not made any false statements or intended to deceive anyone or intentionally told non-truth information. I just do not give the personal details to people who I feel have no business knowing my personal life.

Yes, exactly. Not revealing a personal medical decision is NOT lying. It's PRIVATE information.

[TrumpetTinklers 196]

Only my husband and a friend who also had the surgery know. That is IT. everyone else thinks I had my gallbladder out... & it works GREAT for me.

[shangefan 193]

I still don't understand why this is such a controversial topic. Folks who want to talk about their medical procedures should do so and should leave folks who choose not to do so alone! Why is that so difficult? I think it is reprehensible to make people feel inferior for deciding to be private. Frankly, there is something obscene about such focus on the lives of other people.

I intend for this to be my last comment on this topic because it is silly and I have other things to do. I am saddened, however, that in what is supposed to be a safe place, people are assaulted that they aren't making the decisions other folks want them to make.

I would encourage folks to stop trying to justify their decisions to not share with folks about their surgery. Do what you think is best for you. In the words of Mary J. Blige, they can love it or hate it. But they don't have the power to change it. They also don't have a Heaven or Hell to give you, so you don't need to convince them that you are right.

[Wheetsin 714]

It's really simple. We all signed a consent form of some kind or other. None of our consent forms included an obligation to be VSG ambassadors. That means it is 100% personal choice. Any time something is personal, it is by definition the most subjective ingredient. If what you choose to do does not hurt you, and does not hurt others, then it is not a problem.

I'm not even that smart, and I've still got that much figured out.

[minnie20 8]

I still don't understand why this is such a controversial topic. Folks who want to talk about their medical procedures should do so and should leave folks who choose not to do so alone! Why is that so difficult? I think it is reprehensible to make people feel inferior for deciding to be private. Frankly, there is something obscene about such focus on the lives of other people.

I intend for this to be my last comment on this topic because it is silly and I have other things to do. I am saddened, however, that in what is supposed to be a safe place, people are assaulted that they aren't making the decisions other folks want them to make.

I would encourage folks to stop trying to justify their decisions to not share with folks about their surgery. Do what you think is best for you. In the words of Mary J. Blige, they can love it or hate it. But they don't have the power to change it. They also don't have a Heaven or Hell to give you, so you don't need to convince them that you are right.

Thank you! So well said

[isntsheclever 38]

What's killing me about this whole thread is that people are getting so upset. Everyone is accusing everyone else of 'attacking.' You know what it makes me feel like? It makes me feel like I can't be honest, or express a differing opinion, without people accusing me of being a bully (or worse). I have NEVER set out to bully anyone EVER. I have NEVER told anyone that they are a bad person just because they have a different opinion than I do. We are all adults and should be able to have an open discussion without people getting upset because someone else is trying to come at the situation from a different point of view. You don't agree with me? Cool. Let's talk about it. Maybe we can each learn something. I'm not going to call you a bully because you think I'm wrong.

VST is usually such a wonderful place full of information and the experiences of many different people. I miss that...

[missmeow 156]

I think the point is that people shouldn't be asking or commenting in the first place.

If, when, and how we lose or gain weight is personal, private, and really no one's business except perhaps close friends and family who may have a true concern for our well being. Personally, I think it is super rude to comment on someone's weight unless they have been open about it and/or are giving pretty clear signs they are OK with comments. I know many like it when someone notices we're a bit smaller. But some of us do not like the added attenttion.

It is not lying to omit a personal medical decision if people are so rude as to ask. Telling people you are on a liquid diet or VLCD and exercising is the truth. The surgery helps you do it, but you could have the surgery and drink milkshakes all day. The majority of the work is done by the individual and you are not being deceptive by not opening yourself up for a lot of "helpful" advice or commentary. Like someone stated earlier, people get WLS to be normal and not to be the former fatty who had to have surgery.

I was at work when someone commented on another coworker's weight loss. It was in a total congratualtory way, as in "wow, you've lost a lot of weight! How are you doing it? I need your secret!" The answer: "Cancer. I have cancer and am going through chemo."

That's why people should mind their business and keep their comments to themselves unless otherwise elicited. You never know what someone is going through and you might feel like a total heel for asking.

[weight_no_longer 64]

I also choose not to tell my co-workers except for the immediate 3 people that I am also friends with. I had my surgery 2/13. My family and a few close friends outside of work also know but noone else. It is nobody's business what you do. I just felt that people would judge me if I didn't succeed.My surgeon also told me that if I felt more comfortable not telling anyone at work that I could just tell them I was having abdominal hernia surgery. The length of hospital stay and the amount of time needed to be out of work coincides with hernia surgery. I am now 4 months post-op' date=' down 56 lbs and feel great. People are daily telling me how good I look and how am I losing the weight and I tell them that I went to a nutritionist ( not a lie ) and I am on a high Protein, low carb, low calorie diet.( also not a lie ) I also tell them that I eat much smaller portions ( again, not a lie ) I just omit the surgery part which is not lying just not revealing all the details. Good Luck with whatever desicion you make about your surgery but I just wanted to let you know it is possible not to tell people. Afterall, you wouldn't reveal personal information to everyone you came across so just think of your surgery like that.[/quote']

EXACTLY!!! its not lying choosing not to tell someone & if it were some other surgery would we feel the nned to have to tell everyone? Its a personal choice .... well said minnie

[weight_no_longer 64]

To all the people who do not agree with my decision to not tell every person that I come in contact with' date=' well who are you to judge my decision. I did not come on here and start bashing you for revealing your personal medical decision, WLS, so don't bash me. I have told the people in my life that matter the most and to everyone else, its none of their business. I am not living a lie, just choosing who to tell and who not to. Throughout my life I have had other personal medical issues and I did not choose to broadcast them either. And I am no way embarressed about having WLS. It is one of the best choices I ever made but it is MY life and I choose to live it MY way.

And to the person 'Tell who you want or don't tell, but don't try to redefine the meaning of the word LIE just so you can feel better and make everyone else here feel better. Ok here goes-

lie/lī/ a false statement made with deliberate intent to deceive; an intentional untruth; a falsehood.

I am not redefining the word lie to make myself feel better. It is bully people like you who bully others into having to think like you. Last time I looked this is a free country for all to live their lives the way they want.

I have not made any false statements or intended to deceive anyone or intentionally told non-truth information. I just do not give the personal details to people who I feel have no business knowing my personal life.[/quote']

Go Minnie !!! totally agree AGAIN!!