Wife Is Being Really Negative

[jared 0]

Not sure how to react I want to have the sleeve done but my wife is trying to talk me into the band because its not permanent but I want a permanent change but she thinks I will have issues later down the road with the sleeve because its so new I really want it done but she is scaring me now with all of the negative comments any advice

[ILKrista 36]

If I were you, I would look at the part of this forum that is dedicated to people who had the band & have now had to switch to the sleeve because of complications. Show your wife this. I initially thought that I wanted the band because it seemed less drastic. But research convinced me the sleeve was the better way to go... The long-term complication rate for the band was too high for me.

[LilMissDiva Irene 3,281]

Why would anyone (myself included) try to fix a permanent problem with a temporary fix. The lap band will need to be removed someday. It's not a forever, permanent fixture.

I had my lap band for almost 3 years, and right now is twice as long as I've had my sleeve, yet the band didn't do half for me what my sleeve helped me accomplish.

The ultimate decision is yours, you just need to help educate your Wife on the Sleeve more and help her to understand the pros and cons of either. One surgery is far safer than 2, no matter how you slice it.

[MINI-Me 196]

I know about 10 people with lap bands (support groups, friends, etc). None of them have met goal and 4 have had them removed due to issues. The most recent is a very close friend - in fact, she was the one who inspired me to look into weightloss surgery.

The Band did so much damage to her esophogus/stomach - she was in surgery for almost 6 hours repairing the damage (and this was after having no fill for the past year)! She was in the hospital for 4 days. Her surgery was 2 weeks ago and she is still only able to tolerate small amounts of liquid without nausea. It will be several months before she is able to eat solids again and there is no guarantee she won't have food issues once she gets to solids.

If this is my "network" experience with the band, think of what else is out there!!!! She was advised that there is a Civil Action Suit against the Band makers and was asked if she wanted to take part.

Yes, there are risks in any surgery, but the Sleeve seems to have the best outcomes of what is availalbe today to help the obese. I would RUN from the BAND!!!!!!

[Ms skinniness 3,003]

I am so lucky I decided against the band. That is what I wanted, the band. But I didn't like the ideal of temporary fix and having to have surgery a second time to remove the band. I love my sleeve, it works!

[atkinsoncl 62]

As a quote from my weight loss surgeon, "the band isn't as safe as people think it is and bypass/sleeve isn't as scary as people think it is." I originally was going for the band, until my surgeon said that to me. I did my research and decided the band was definately the wrong way for me to go. You can find success stories with the lap band, but there are not that many and I don't believe the band can stay in you forever, like they say it can.

My husband was fine with me having the band. He didn't know of the complications that can happen. When my surgeon and I switched the surgery to the sleeve, I didn't tell him until about 3 days prior to surgery because I knew he didn't want me to get cut. He had a little bit of a meltdown until I explained everything to him and then he was okay.

Good luck!! Show your wife the statistics . . . maybe that will help.

[mesaucedo 207]

In addition to all this great info, the sleeve is not as new as people think. It was originally part 1 of a 2 step procedure that was found to work well enough on its own. So you should let her know that as well!

[Wheetsin 714]

I had a lapband about 6 years ago. Honestly I lost a lot of weight with it without having to try too hard. But the stats are miserable. Through people I've met IRL and virtual, I've seen hundreds of people having their bands taken out. Of the 40+ I personally know who have been banded 5+ years, I know of one person who still has their lapband. She is showing symptoms of a slip, but is too scared to seek follow-up and opting to "live with it."

I have 0% trust in it as a long term tool. Zero. It is virtually a fact that it will have to come out within 10 years. And then what? Lots of people think they can keep the weight off themselves (me included), but there are some powerful mental physical reasons why most people will fail. Those who fail tend to develop eating disorders to cope.

Show your wife some of the current lapband stats. Have her look (as someone else suggested) at the band -> sleeve revision forum here. Or have her look in the complications area at lapbandtalk.com. I started a thread there a while ago called something like "Who has their band 5+ years out?" - very sad thread.

I understand that marriage is a partnership, but this really does need to be your decision. You're the one who will have to live with it.

I wasn't a candidate for re-banding when I found out I had slip. After a day or two I was completely OK with that. I knew, no doubt, that if I got a band again I would be in the same place - again needing surgery for a band complication - 1, 2, 5 years later and that time I would probably have longer term health conditions because of it (the upper GI can only take so much of nasties like GERD).

[kemo46 82]

You need her to get on the forums, search the internet and gather as much information as possible. The key is education. Once she finds out the facts, she will be more open to the situation.

[Caradina 65]

I looked into the band. I qualified for it through my insurance... I paid CASH for the sleeve, because I didn't want the band. I didn't want the potential for complications, the pain in the rear of the fills, and the substandard results that were so frequently reported with the band. The sleeve is new as a stand alone bariatric procedure, but it has been used for decades to treat cancer and ulcers. My own great grandmother had it done in the 80s for cancer, and she was just fine for her entire life, and died of natural causes at 98, after a very healthy life. I'm pleased with my decision for certain.

[Lissa 2,631]

I, too, started out researching the band. There is a forum for Lap Banders just like VST and I spent a ton of time over there, reading and researching. One of the major things that stood out for me was the rate of complications with the band. Once I went to my surgeon's seminar, I was sold on the sleeve. Then I started researching the sleeve and it was so dramatic that the sleeve did NOT have the complication rates I saw for the lap band.

[cookies 56]

I paid for a band out of pocket over ten years ago. It functioned for ... three or four months. That's it. No restriction at all after that.

I have confirmation that my band is defective (it "balloons" up on one side when filled rather than equally around the stomach), but as a self-pay there wasn't much I could do about it because I had spent all the money I had on getting the band.

Now I'm hoping to be able to do a revision to the sleeve in one procedure. I may need two procedures (one to take the band out, another for the sleeve). As a self-pay this is all very frustrating.

Do your research. There are people that are very happy with the band, but there are lots that are not. In the end, it's your decision. Whatever you decide, just make sure you are fully educated and you know what awaits you.

[enid 8]

I would let her see this link and she would probably realize its not as drastic as the bypass as theres no re- routing or anything else than just make ur stomach smaller. I had the same problem with my husband and he finally gave in. Not that it was his decision but u want ur significant other to be able to encourage u and be there for u. I satrted showing him lots of videos on youtube and he looked for himself on the internet about complication with the sleeve and found none. When i talked to him at first i told him i was going to Mexico to get it done cause it was cheaper and that time he really hit the roof and went crazy looking for someone within the US to do it for me and even helped me come up with the money. My surgery cost is $11,000 not including plane tickets and car rental and other expenses but his going with me and he'll be there for me. By the way, HE was the one that even found this doctor for me.

Sent from my iPhone using VST

[CindyGo1313 13]

In addition to all the wonderful points people are making, sleeve gastrectomy is not as new as people think. It was actually used for decades as treatment for people with stomach cancer. It was while treating the cancer that doctors started noticing that weight loss was actually a side effect. Look into it, it might comfort your wife a little to know that there are people out there who have lived with the sleeve for years

[esheldon76 50]

My wife had the bad three years ago and did really well, and I was going to get it too, but then I saw how she stalled, and how she had to keep going back for fills and I didn't want the hassle. Sure, it's more invasive and things "could" go wrong, and you can't reverse it, but the more I looked at it, it seemed like exactly what I wanted. I wanted something I could get done, and then from there, learn how to eat right...not keep going back and forth to the doctor to add/remove fluids in a band.