Having been on this forum for 2 years now I have read many posts and participated in numerous threads. At first I sought help as I was learning about the banding process. People were wonderful about answering what seems now as basic questions. I also enjoyed the conversations of like minded people who were going through or had been through what I was embarking on.

Now that I have lived with my band almost 2 years and been rather successful I have alot to offer others in the way of motivation, tips and support when I see questions or conversations which I feel I can help out with. In turn I too still have questions about different subjects and appreciate the answers when I post them.

That said... this is a public forum with people from all walks of life... some of whom may not be similar to mine. But when I post a question and read the opinions and answers I appreciate them at face value and respect that someone took the time to provide me with an answer...even if it isnt something I want to hear. If I didnt want opinions I wouldnt post a question.

And in turn if I dont respond to a thread its because I have nothing to offer that has not been said or in some case because I just really have nothing noteworthy to say or maybe I feel someone is just whining and I havent the time or energy to reply.

I am discussing this because recently I have received a few personal messages which have been from people saying I am too cut and dry, too black and white, or the best one was.... Just because you are thin now doesnt mean you are all that. That one actually cracked me up because yes I am very proud of my accomplishment but now its time for me to give back and help others... and if someone thinks that is self absorbing... I have no time in my life for their insecurity.

In a nutshell... I think it would be wise for people to remember that if you ask a question about your band, diet or eating habits... expect an answer. In fact expect lots of answers from people which will be to the point and based on their own personal experience. It may open your eyes to something which will help you. Or you may choose to ignore it.... But If you do not want an answer...do not ask the question.

Your post is so 100% spot on. I totally agree.

For what it's worth, I've dealt with the same thing. I've been bashed both in private messages and in the forums for simply stating facts. Though I have been told similar, "just because you lost all this weight you think you know it all". It makes me wonder if the same insecure whiners are targeting us both.

Regardless, I love your posts. You have been a huge inspiration to me since I got here back in January. Please, don't change a thing because of a few childish people. You are a huge asset to this forum and we need more people like you.

I love you all for your honesty!

Keep up the great responses that are going to help us. I for one appreciate them. Thank you!

I went to my doctor for my three month check up and he told me to be wary of these forums.

Thank you for the nice thoughts. I had to giggle.... early on when I was seeing my Dr monthly I would ask him about this or that... or challenge his opinions with a question I read on this forum... he would say.. Are you reading that internet site again?..... I would laugh and say yes. And he said that most of the information you will read is positive and helpful but know you will see lots of failures because people who failed have nothing better to do with their time then post about how miserable they are. I thought that was excellent advice.

I enjoy learning & reading everyone's posts & advice. I absolutely love when I get slapped upside the head with the truth!! I wouldn't be in this situation if I had that level of honesty to begin with!! I feel you should shout your accomplishments from the mountaintops & I hope to be joining you at the top soon

I am with you... I enjoy reading various perspectives on many different topics. The lap band has worked wonders in my life and I want to help everyone have the same success I am having! I fear however that I am turning into that reformed person everyone hates. LOL You know like a reformed smoker....

On Saturday I was at a picnic with a long time friend... it shouldnt matter but for conversation sake she and 2 of her 4 daughters are very heavy. She opened the cooler and there was white bread, processed american cheese, turkey, ham and mayo to make sandwhiches... a bag of cheese doodles, chips, fried onion something and a huge bag of candy from Halloween. I was biting my tongue to keep from saying... ummm didnt you bring anything nutritious?

I rolled up a slice of turkey and ham for myself and my toddler granddaughter.... and paired it with the cups of fruit I always keep in the diaper bag thankfully and she and I had a healthy lunch. (we eat about the same amount...LOL) So lunch was progressing and my friend said ... give the baby some cheese doodles. I was like... no thats ok we have some cheerios if she is still hungry. My friend said... you are turning into a health freak. This from the same person who has barely mentioned my loss. I just smiled and made light of it... everyone laughed and we moved on... but it was a classic case of have the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference...

Your post is so 100% spot on. I totally agree.

For what it's worth, I've dealt with the same thing. I've been bashed both in private messages and in the forums for simply stating facts. Though I have been told similar, "just because you lost all this weight you think you know it all". It makes me wonder if the same insecure whiners are targeting us both.

Regardless, I love your posts. You have been a huge inspiration to me since I got here back in January. Please, don't change a thing because of a few childish people. You are a huge asset to this forum and we need more people like you.

You may be right Mis... there may be some similar people who have alot of free time on their hands.

But dont worry... I learned a long time ago if someone isnt paying my bills they cannot force their opinions on me or make me change on their behalf.

Thanks for your positive words... Our posts are always so similar on many points... And we both have been very successful.... hmmmm

I appreciate all y'all s help

In answering my questions I know some questions may sound dumb to a lot of ppl but I'm just getting started on my wight loss journey and I'm so gratefully for all the help in answering a lot of my questions

Thanks so much to everyone

I wanted to reply.... you darn right I am all that... I have worked long and hard for the right to say it. And if you want to make excuses and spend the next few years wondering why the band isnt working for you.... go right ahead. I am going to take my "all that" self and get on with my life. LOL

Even I get my feathers ruffled.

But of course that wouldnt have been appropriate and I should be burned on the stake for thinink such cruel things so I heeded my late mother's advice...if you dont have something nice to say...dont say it. So I kindly asked if he/she had a particular question I could help with. I never received a reply.

Yes you are "all that". You have worked hard to get where you are and us newbies appreciate your wisdom and advice. Keep it up!

Girl you are all that and more... that weight didn't melt off you had to put lots of effort in it. And you should feel darn good.... I am 4 years out didn't have this forum when I was losing and I had lots of questions I refused to go to support group because it was a whine and b***h sesssion and finally the Dr. called a halt to them . There were a couple of sister that were really large women and they just dominated the sessions whining about their 30 lb loss in 1 year. .

I try to be as honest as possible on this forum , I too have gotten mean comments, I tend to be sarcastic I guess. What I see as obvious answers others are not always happy to hear. I can be sympathetic but sometimes it just pops out, but I am not going to sugar coat anything and I will tell you why.....

When I was heavy my husband loved me and never said a word, if I asked my boys if I looked fat in this ... they said no mom you look nice......my mom always told me I had such a pretty face and I just took after the otherside of the family .. my friends and co workers loved me because I was the life of the party the fun wise cracking girl. And everytime I looked in a full length mirror I hated me..... I thought my husband was nuts to love me, my kids were afraid of hurting me and my friends well for real they had lifes of their own and I was the comic relief.. No one ever said ...sweetie you shouldn't be eating half of the pizza, you have already had 3 brownies stop, wheres the other half of that pie??? So I went on eating and hating me.

So you can imagine the surprise I felt when I had the surgery and everyone said Oh I am so happoy for you.. I was so worried about your health.. I noticed you were packing it on...They talked about me but never to me. So I won't do that if someone needs a shoulder or help I"m here , if they want to ask if they can have food 2 days after surgery they will get an answer. If they want to whine sorry don't have time... So I say what I say Because I just wished some one would have been honest with me . It might have hurt but I sure would have gotten down to business sooner. I'm rambling on sorry.

Floridays you are 100% right! Don't change a thing. I for one look for the postings from the successful bandsters, you being one. I think honesty is the only approach to successful weight loss, so stay true & honest.

As for the users who are hostile and negative, I hope you seek out counseling for your aggressions. You will not be successful at weight loss unless you address all your issues.

hmm...no when I post a question I want a brutal honest answer, especially if it means it could lead to weight loss or to help me from making a huge mistake and end up hurting my band!!! naaahhh I can handle it, or I should be able to, last time I checked I put my big girl undies on, but in a smaller size..

Floridays you are all that!!! You have every right to stand on the highest mountain and shout it out at the top of your lungs. I'm only five months banded so still very new to all this. If I have any issues I will come to the forum to see if others are experiencing the same issues and I read the responses. Your posts are posts I seek out often. You've had great success and have invaluable advice and information to give us bandsters starting out and I appreciate that you care to share. There are a couple of others whose opinions/ answers I highly respect also. Missy is another fav of mine, she is also a great inspiration and gives sound, correct advice.

I've been staying away from the forums lately as I was so sick of the nastiness going on and all the wrong info being posted and the personal attacks on others. Ffs we are all adults here with a common problem but most act like little kids in a playground.

So I appreciate your responses and the time you take to still give us advice, if people want to take it take it , those that don't then move on. And just as importantly to those that just post for the sake of posting do your homework before posting wrong info because that can be very harmful.

You go girl!!!

Well Floridays, I think you are all that! Your weight loss and before and after pictures are amazing and you are an inspiration!

keep posting because it will reach the ones that need to hear it.......the ones who dont care or know it all anyhow will just criticize or ignore it...so do it for people like me who want to do well.

i learn from successful people....

We all learn from successful people. Sure, I have been less than gushy in some of my responses, but I am human and I get frustrated too. Let's all agree to try not to take it out on someone else. Those with genuine questions, ask on. BUT those who want to get permission to ignore doctors' advice and the program they signed up for,... Please don't waste your time asking questions YOU KNOW the answer to. Just because you don't want to do it does not make it right or good for you!

Those who advise I value are the successful ones, like Floridays. Look for ways to make the journey more fun, because no one ever said it would be easy!

I've been reading this site for a couple months now, I will be having surgery on Friday for my band. I just wanted to say I really appreciate the advice you put out there, I also appreciate the 'black and white' I think some people may want to be (hate to use this term) coddled and have everything painted in rainbows, but you say it like it is and I admire that about you!

Congratulations on your success, you are very inspiring!