I know this shouldnt hold me back but everyone at work is trying to talk me out of my surgery. I just started my pre-op diet and they think if i can do this diet for 25 days than why cant i just lose the weight on my own. I mean alot of people stress eat but what makes me think the lap band will help me with that. I try to explain this is a life style change but nobody can understand me. They dont know why i cant do this on my own. What can i say to them to make them understand and why does the things they are saying effect me so much.

My brother in law posed the same question to me... if you have lost so much "pre surgery" why go through with it? Just as someone stated previously, this is a lifestyle change. The band is a tool that we will use to aid in our healthier eating choices. Negativity get's under my skin in the worst way but do your best to ignore and stop explaining. This is your choice, your body, your life! Best of luck to you!

I'm more concerned with how they are affecting you. I hope they are not scaring you. The truth is that WL surg is the ONLY known WL method that statistically works. That means that while we can always find a few exceptions where people have lost and maintained a large amount of weight---almost all people who lose without WLS end up gaining it all back. If anyone doubts that -- all they have to do is go to Pub-Med and read the abstracts on weight loss methods over the last 40 yrs. Research very clearly shows that WLS is signficantly successful for most people who get it.

I got the LB in spring of 2008 and it has changed my life. Now everyone at work tells me that I'm a great inspiration. Even the ones who are not overweight say that I'm inspiring them to take better care of themsleves. Most of the overweight ones have asked me for a heart-to-heart talk about WLS. They have found someone they can confide in about their weight problem. Some of them have now gotten the LB too. I'm now 1 of the oldest people in my workplace but I now look like the youngest. My boss came to my office to tell me how pleased she is to see so many people in my office taking better care of their health and she says it's because they are following my lead. So ---- you GO girl! Don't let people bother you!

What is your pre-op diet?

I had a similar experience with a close friend who tried to talk me out of it.

I explained in doing this for my health, that they don't understand the struggle I have with the desire to want to consume more than what is a healthy portion of food, and yes I can lose the weight without surgery, but the band is going to help me keep it off, which the dozen other diets I've been have shown that yes I can lose it, but keeping it off is the issue.

In the end, I just had to block out those unsupportive comments and focus on the supportive comments and behaviors from other friends, all with the mindset that the lap band surgery is something I'm going for myself so my opinion is the most important.

There are a lot of great responses here that I hope provide some encouragement and support for you. If they cannot be supportive, I suggest focusing your attention to those that will be. If you do not have people in your immediate circle that are supportive, there is this site and my hospital has free support groups where they provide a safe haven and loads of encouragement and support. Only you have to approve of what you are doing.

I, too, had "nay sayers" thinking I was going to such an extreme but I know my habits and my body and this is what I needed to do for me. Please don't let anyone discourage you. I can tell you from anyone I have talked to that had the lapband before me, the most prominant comment I heard was "I wish I would have done this sooner". You can do it and don't let others steer you away. Not only are you empowering yourself to make the decision you feel is right for you but you are empowering yourself to a healthier, happier life by doing so.

Are any of these people smokers? My next door neighbor would say the same thing just diet and excersie. She smokes. I ask her from this minute on don't pick up another cigarette ever. She looked at me like I 2 heads. She got after me again saying bad things she heard about the band. I brought to her attention again the horrors of smoking. Have you seen the anti-smoking commercials? I just told her I'll take my chances. Smoking is a bad habit just like overeatting.

Negativity prior to surgery is extremely difficult and I'm so sorry you're going through that. Everyone here has posted great things, all sound advice. My biggest thing to add is to maybe tell them that you're open about it b/c you're not ashamed, it's not a big secret, but just b/c you're open doesn't mean you want to talk about it all the time.

I was pretty secretive up until 2 days before surgery. Now, most people know but respect my wishes about not wanting to talk about it all the time. I'll answer questions, just not deep discussion.

One good thing is this will prepare you for post-op. Honestly, it's going to get worse. They will turn into food-nazis - "isn't that too much?" "are you sure you can have that?" "omg! why are you having 2 bites of dessert?!?" And from other overweight people, it will be worse.

Praying it gets better. Be blessed.

Neither of my daughters was truly in favor of surgery. One now is happy for me, the other never talks about it. Net is, it is not for them, it was for me. Only you can determine what is right for you. Tell you co-workers you would apreciate their support. You cannot do the pre diet forever. If you could none of us would have ever needed surgery. Think of the the band as a tool. It is a significant life change, but you can do it. I would also recommend being more selective about who you share the surgery with. People just don't need to know for the most part, and tend to downpay the WORK you will have to do even with the band to be successful. I only told two very close friends, my spouse and my daughters because I felt they should know about the surgery. No one else "deserves" to know how you lost weight. We will support you all the way!

This has been the most replied to topic since i"ve been on lapbandtalk.com! We're a proud bunch aren't we? And don't want noone messin' with our peeps!

Thanks everyone! You guys have been wonderful and taught me not to care what they think. Now that i have lost some weight they are starting to back off and i found out that if i just dont talk about it they have nothing to say. I was just so excited that i had to tell everyone and i felt like i had to say everything i felt. But now i know to just keep it to myself and just tell me family and well you guys as well! I could ask for a better lap band family!

Oh and my diet is 2 protein shakes 2 fruits 2 veggies 2 proteins (i have fish chicken or eggs) 2 calcium 1 vitamin but unlimited water tea (no sugar which is hard for me) and diet soda. i can have up to 2 cups of milk 1 cup of juice 100% and 3 dairy’s. Its not that bad of a diet. I have been doing it for 6 days and its not that bad. I started to lose in the beginning but now i have stayed the same.

The More You Love Your Decision, the less you need others To Love Them!!!

...a quote that's gotten me through some rough decisions- hope it helps;)

I like that quote! It helps make things alot easier. I mean im almost 9 pds down and more excited that i have been in a while! I just cant wait to finally say IM BANDED!

Hey Cassie!

This was one reason why I felt like I couldn't tell a whole bunch of people. My work knows in having surgery but not lap band surgery. I have struggled with my weight my entire life. I don't remember being under 200 lbs (how crazy is that) I have had to answer to myself everyday for 29 years don't eat that eat that, what can't you do this. Having lap band survey is going to end that talk! Yes I have to make the right decisions, but I sure as hell do don't want to answer to anyone but me! I have told 5 people! My mom, sister, husband and 2 of my closest friends. No one else will even know I'm having surgery. I like it that way.

If your coworkers talk to you about it, simply say, thank you for your concern, but this is my decision and there is nothing left to talk about.

You are making this decision, and you have to live your life. As long as you are okay with it, that's all that matters!

I know i shouldnt have said anything and i was kinda wishing i would get more support. I mean the girls i work with are like family we do alot together outside of work, so i just thought i would get more support. But whats funny was at work last night they started asking me questions and wanting to know all about it. I think they may have realized how much this ment to me.

I havent seen under 200 either so your not alone. And it sucks but we are one the right path and soon we will!