Did you tell everyone that you were having surgery and what it was for?

My surgery is scheduled for June 28th. I haven't told very many people yet, but I'm wondering about what I should say when I get back to work after a week off. On one hand, I can see telling people so they can watch and hopefully encourage if they know what you're going through. On the other hand, the judging, oh the judging! So for those of you out there who have been through it, do you wish you had told more people or fewer?

I'm excited, but starting to get nervous!

My husband and I were banded on the same day—Rick has told everyone about his surgery, me, on the other hand, have told only a hand full of people. The first person I told was my sister; I got such a negative response from her. Three of my co-workers know—one has had the surgery herself and she is a wonderful support system for me, another co-worker was worried because I never miss work so I told her and she promised not to tell anyone, the third co-worker actually found out because we are TACT instructors and we had to go to training and when she reached around me to put me in a maneuver, I flinched and she saw the huge bruise on my abdomen. I had to reassure her that she did not put the bruise on me. All three of my co-workers have been very supportive and have not told anyone. The last person I told was the owner of the daycare where my children go. I have known her for a very long time, and I trust her with the most precious things in my life, so I know she will keep my ‘secret’.

I have only told 5 people I think that number won't change

I told absolutely everybody that would listen. Friends' date=' family, coworkers. I even told the guy at the pizza joint because I knew he wouldn't be seeing me anymore!!! Everyone was supportive....except the pizza guy. I was a "cash cow" for him! LOL!! The only person I didn't tell beforehand was my mother, but that was because she's elderly with health problems and I didn't want her worrying and I certainly didn't want her at the hospital. I told her after I got home. There are always going to be people with negative comments and judgmental attitudes but they are few. I find those are the ones who just don't understand. Use the opportunity to educate them. Even now, 4 years and 140 pounds later, I still have no qualms about telling anybody. I keep my before picture on my cell phone and show it to people....I don't particularly like looking at myself though![/quote']

Pictures are great I carry my fat pictures on my phone to. It's great to watch people's expressions!

I told my family and a few very close friends. My boss knows, but all my coworkers think I had hernia repair. I like that not many people know. I didn't want to be judged for having the surgery or for any slip ups in my eating. Almost just as bad are the people that constantly ask how much you've lost. I've had to ask a couple of people to stop asking me that.

Ditto what DeAna said:

"My friends & coworkers know I had the scope so my plan is to tell them I'm having surgery to fix my hiatic hernia that was discovered during my scope so it would explain my food changes in the beginning weeks"

I don't like the idea of lying, so I've shared the part that's true (hernia repair), and the rest is my personal, medical information. My husband is the only person I have told or plan to tell about the band. I really don't want to hear anyone's opinion or advice. This is between me and my doctor. I don't want any input from anyone that might be discouraging in this part of my life. I need ONLY positive input. No criticism, no judging eyes, no unsolicited opinions or thoughts.

I had hernia repair along with my lap band, so I didn't feel too bad about omitting the lap band part with my coworkers

It'a an individual choice as to who and when to tell that you had surgery.

It was troubling for me to read about all of the people who felt that they needed to be dishonest, and then felt bad about not being honest with others.

Just because others ask you a question, it does not mean that you have to provide an answer. If you do, you choose if you want to disclose any or what information. And be ok with your choice. If others seem to become judgmental towards you, that is really their issue, and not yours.

Other people cannot make you feel any emotions; you choose to feel the way that you do. If you get angry in a situation, it's because you permitted the situation to "get to you". If you are not truthful and feel bad about not being truthful, it's only you putting a guilt trip on yourself.

Just a different perspective; if I am asked a question which I do not want to answer, I say something to the effect of "I don't feel comfortable discussing that with anyone". I find you usually don't have additional questions asked.

Also, as a side note, your rights to confidentiality regarding medical issues does extend to your employer. If there is a "need to know", (ie, you have some temporary physical limitations in doing your job) then it is possible to disclose that information to only the HR staff, and still be within the parameters of the law. If it is for time off, a note from your physician to verify "medical necessity" for the time off required should suffice. There is no need for the physician to disclose your specific medical condition to your employer if there is no on the job injury.

I have only told my husband, my parents, and my best friend who is banded. I told everyone I was going on a diet when i started my pre-op diet. I've told no one at work. I'm having surgery Friday morning and I'm hoping to be bback at work on Monday. If I have to i will call in sick on the Monday. Depending on how I am feeling I may tell them I had a hernia repaied. Dont know if I have one yet or not, they wont know until they get in there but work doesn't need to know that!! I have a desk job but can also get up and go for a walk if I need to so I'm hoping i can push through it.

I don't want the pressure of people watching me, I don't need people judging me for my decision, and I don't want people to say I didn't earn my weightloss because I was banded. Down the road if/when I am successful I will probably tell people if they directly ask, but not until then. I'm doing this for me and no one else

Hopefully I will be able to do it and I wasn't going to tell anyone only my bff who is a nurse and might get it also and my bf-- who I found out announced to all of his family before I got a chance to tell him not to say anything. Got to love him.

Didn't want anyone to watch everything I put in me or judge me. My opinion its no body's business. Good luck!

I told some family and a few friends. I have one friend who was negative, it felt so bad. I thought she would be supportive or I wouldn't have said anything! I do not try to convince anyone, not my job! She had been working out and losing weight so I thought it would be ok. I have far exceeded her weight loss, maybe it's her stuff, not me. I don't know but I do not want to feel that bad again.

Be careful, this is such a personal journey, you need the best with you.

There are still so many people who think we are getting a free ride, oh if they only new! we work hard for the lbs. we lose, this is a tool, not a miracle!

I told everyone and anyone. I figure everyone would find out anyway and I really don't care about other peoples opinions about what I do to my body.

I agree. Those who matter don't mind and those mind don't matter!

I told everyone, as I was proud of taking control of my health with my band as a tool.

I have honestly told everybody. Sometimes i sit and i wish i didnt but its already done now. I want everybody to know that i am making a change in my life and i am so excited i just decided to scream it out to the world i guess. but to each their own.

I usually post major things on FB.but I didn't do that with the surgery.I have told a few people and an aunt who cant hold water so I'm sure other family know but I haven't seen them since I told the aunt.everyone has been supportive but you can tell they are wanting to see major changes and even though I've lost 40 lbs my body hasn't changed that much.when I say I've lost that much they smile buy u can tell they don't believe it.so I'm glad it's out there but people do have an expectation once they know.

My friends & coworkers know I had the scope so my plan is to tell them I'm having surgery to fix my hiatic hernia that was discovered during my scope so it would explain my food changes in the beginning weeks

During my surgery they repaired my hernia so that is exactly what I am telling people...and technically it's not a lie