I have only told a few people about my choice to have surgery (May 25th). I don't really want people to know because I think that they will judge me. In fact, one of the people that I did tell told me that they didn't think that I needed it. I know she means well. She is a large gal, as well. I know she knows what it is like, but she is a good deal bigger than me. I considered the idea that I just don't look big to her because she is bigger than me. Does that make sense? Don't get me wrong, she wasn't cruel to me or anything. She just felt that I was doing something radical. The other 2 people I have told are very supportive and totally understand. I do wonder what I will tell people once I start losing weight, however. I have contemplated making up something a little more "natural" sounding as an excuse for my sudden weight loss. What are you folks doing? Who have you told? What did they think about it? Please share!

LOL... Me too! I have told very few people. I told work the hernia information which is true . I am afraid of the "diet police" and failure. I told one of my friends who said your to small for that. Really? Im 5'3" and my bmi is 33. I have a solid 60lbs to loose. That doesn't make me small in my book! I do feel bad to think I can't loose the 60 on my own. However I now realize that my PCOS is a HUGE reason for my issues. Counting the days till May 18th and my new love affair with myself! Best of luck to all and thank you for sharing this. Its so comforting to know I am not the only one feeling this way!

'

i told my family & friends and they were 100% supportive. They knew i had been struggling with my weight for years and weightwatchers didnt work for me ( God bless them ,they tried !) I casually mentioned it at work and also got 100 % support. I got a few normal healthy questions on why and how does it work ? But nothing remotely negative, and when i started loosing weight i got nice compliments too from coworkers and family. I wish i had known about it 10 yrs ago so im happy to spread the word in hopes that someone else will look into it too. If i do ever get a negative comment, oh well ! Thats their problem , not mine ! Good luck !

Choosing NOT to tell people is not about being ashamed. I took the view that this was a medical decision I had made and therefore it was no one else's business. I only told immediate family in case of issues during the actual surgery. Now as I am happily losing weight and keeping it off, I do tell people, especially if they ask directly if I have a lapband. Basically, I still believe it is no one else's business but my own, however, I will not lie to people either.

I was worried about the food police in the beginning but, guess what - they appear even if they think you are "only" dieting!

It truly is a case of telling whomever, whatever you feel comfortable in sharing with them.

One major advantage of telling is that it does allow you to ask people for their support and that is critical.

I totally understand. I have told my family (mom, sister, brother), 2 friends, and one co-worker. I decided to tell the one co-worker because I know that she will be supportive...she will also help me if I need/want to get out of staff "foody" meeting/parties/etc. I just don't think anyone needs to know right now. I have told them that I am having surgery on Thrusday to fix a hiatal hernia (which I am having done) and that's it. I guess I figured I really don't want to be interviewed or watched everytime we're together at work. I guess at some point I may tell them, but for now...it's a secret.

I have only told 2 friends because I knew that I really needed support from them on a daily basis. They also have kids close to my son's age and I also knew that they would be willing to keep him busy during the first couple days of post-op.

I am a relatively private person and I guess that I just don't feel that this life changing surgery is anyone's business but mine--especially at the beginning. Maybe I'll change my mind in a few months but for now that's the way it is.

I was given some advice by a lady in the waiting room at my surgeon's office. She had lost 110lbs and was THRILLED with the surgery. Her advice was that while it's fine to tell anyone you want, just keep in mind that once you tell them, you can't un-tell them. So be selective.

I thought that was great advice. I have no problem with the decision or what other people think and I'm usually a blabber-mouth when it comes to stuff like this... But I decided in this case to protect my privacy. My weight issues are public enough without having to be at someone else's mercy for when they feel like discussing it...

So far I've told my parents and in laws, 8-9 close friends, and 3 coworkers. I assume I'll tell others as time passes, but I'm in no rush. Once it's out there, it's really out there and I just don't know if I'm going to want to talk about it.

i'm not sure what to do. i don't want to tell anyone but on the other hand i'm proud and excited about lapband and want to share the good news. after hearing about people whose friends abandoned them i'm not sure. i don't have many friends to begin with. i also wonder about how my family will react. our other issue is child care. if we get my mom to watch them i wouldnt feel right not telling her what's going on. plus if God forbid something happened in surgery they'd be really upset that i didn't tell them. i think the main reason i'm worried is fear of not losing weight. if people know i've had surgery and then i don't drop weight i'd feel like a loser, and not the good kind of loser.

Only my wife will know when I get the band. Mostly because I don't want to have a conversation about why with my parents or family. I'm not permanently physically altering my body any so there's no need to tell everyone. Technically my boss knows I'm doing something at a bariatric office since I've taken a few days off over the past few months, but he doesn't specifically know.

Wow! I had not expected so many people to have so much to say! I think that I have had almost every thought and feeling that I have read in this post at least once or twice. I teeter back and forth with telling everyone and telling no one.... then telling 2 or 3 people, etc. I sort of like the "need to know" basis idea for now. I think I have similar fears about failure. I look at all these posts on this forum and it seems like every single person on here (save for newbies like many of us) has managed to lose something in the neighborhood of 100 pounds (give or take a little). I want it to work, but I keep thinking.... what if it doesn't? I sometimes feel like that is just how my luck rolls..... I actually think that I will have and okay time because I do have a relatively sound diet (not that much junk at all really) and I actually used to be an aerobics instructor!!! No crap-o-la.... I just never seemed to lose any weight. That may be what worries me the most. I have put in some MASSIVE efforts over the years and have not been able to lose more than about 30 to 40 pounds. Obviously it all comes back, too!! Again, I think it all goes back to the idea that you can have to much of a good thing. Just choosing fruit and salad and lean protein is useless if you hork back 2500 calories worth of the stuff over the coarse of a day. I absolutely think failure is my biggest concern......

I think the most difficult part of telling lots of people is that the lap band is not a quick fix. The research says you can loose up to 2 pounds a week but some of us are more like 1/4-1/2 pound a week. I eat very conservatively and exercise up to 2 hours a day; so I am certainly putting in the work. Most people only know bypass so they expect you will loose weight much faster. So you could be loosing at a reasonable rate but people may comment that you are'nt loosing fast enough. This is a life marathon not a sprint.

I feel it's your own personal choice. I'm choosing not to tell because even though the public can see I am overweight what goes through my mind is private. I'm the type of person to do things in my own. I have enrolled in karate class that starts a month after my surgery which is may22nd. I had brought it up to one of my friends that I might do it and she shunned it. I started going to the gym and I believe my friends are sabotaging me. They always want to go out to eat n drink. I have turned them down quite a few times.

I have only told my sister and plan on being very selective on who I tell. One I am a private person, two I don't want foodolice watching me and lastly my mom is such a gossip. I love her but she can't keep a secret and she tends to get her facts confused. So for now I am keeping quiet, but who knows shat the future will bring.

I have only told my sister and plan on being very selective on who I tell. One I am a private person, two I don't want foodolice watching me and lastly my mom is such a gossip. I love her but she can't keep a secret and she tends to get her facts confused. So for now I am keeping quiet, but who knows shat the future will bring.

That's exactly why I only told a select few when I had it done. I sort of "went public" with it when the weight started seriously coming off. Now, 75 lbs lighter, people ask me every day and I am honest with them about how I did it. But only after the fact and in response to their questions. It's certainly nobody's business and absolutely a personal decision to tell or not but for me it worked so well and if I can inspire people to maybe take the same step then I am glad to share my experience. So many overweight people suffer in silence and maybe look into options but don't feel comfortable discussing them with others. So if I can help open a discussion I am glad to do it.

I have been pretty open about getting banded. The church prayed over me this past Sunday. I figure the more people that know will be more motivation for me to do well.

ok, when I first had my lapband surgery and had to take a 6 week emotional eating class there was a lady who did not tell anyone except for her husband. And she did say it was from fear of her failing. Well, over a year later I am friends with her on facebook and I see her looking exactly the same. I feel like she set herself up for failure from the beginning. I'm not saying you have to tell the world, but you need to go into this surgery KNOWING it is going to be successful for you if you follow the rules. I feel like having people know at work helps keep me accountable to myself. It also helps that I work for my brother and he had it done a year before me!