Oh my god.

I had gone almost 3 months post-banding without what you people so lovingly call a "PB," and let me tell you, those two little words do not do the deed any justice. I kept reading about people throwing up and I wondered what the hell was wrong with you all. I would almost rather die than vomit, as I have a very sensitive gag reflex, and once I get started, I can't stop. I thought you had to be crazy to eat so much or so wrong that it came back up.

Oh, little did I know. Now, I've had the golfball. I get the golfball, in varying intensities, several times a week. I figured it was just first bite syndrome, and it would always pass by walking around or trying to wash it down.

Until last night. I was on the San Antonio River Walk with some friends, and we were having some appetizers and margaritas. All of a sudden, I got the worst golfball ever. No warning. I went to the bathroom to try to walk it off. I paced the bathroom for about 10 minutes, and my mouth was filling up with slime. And then I threw up. It was mostly slime, and only a tiny amount of food. The most impressive part to me was that the slime came out in a 9 inch diameter BUBBLE! Like when you're using that string and wand thing and blowing bubbles! Crazy. If I didn't feel like such total shit I would have examined it more closely.

I thought I was better, and someone was trying to come into the bathroom, so I returned to my seat. I still had pressure in my chest, but nothing too bad. A few minutes later, the excrutiating golfball returned. We got up to leave, and I thought the walk back to the hotel would clear it.

But no. The more I walked, the more painful it became, and my mouth continued to fill with slime. Finally, I couldn't stand it, and I ran into the nearest restaurant to use the bathroom. Or, what I thought was a restaurant. It was actually some sort of bar that was checking IDs. I tried to hurry past the guying yelling "Ma'am!" until he manhandled me. I was at once flattered that I looked younger than 21 and terrified that I might vomit on this lovely young man. I turned to him and urgently whispered "I'm going to vomit. Please let me use your bathroom." If I have learned anything about men, it is that they are most afraid of a crazy bitch...especially a crazy bitch about to throw up.

I found the bathroom and immediately began vomiting. Another HUGE bubble. (Could I make money off this talent?) It is this vomiting session that I now consider the OFFICIAL WORST MOMENT OF MY LIFE. It was so painful, both in my chest and my pouch, and not at all PRODUCTIVE, like vomiting before the band was. Little chunks of food were coming up and getting stuck on the back of my tongue, making me gag and heave more.

Eventually, everything that was going to come up did, and I was left sobbing and shaking uncontrollably. And trying to rinse foot long slimes out of my mouth for the next five minutes.

Ok, so if you're still reading, a few observations:

1. Are you fucking kidding me? This has happened to you people more than once? My mom was banded a month before me, and I know that she has had this kind of episode on MANY occassions. I do not comprehend. Last night's situation has scared the pants off of me, and I have been eating VERY carefully today. I can honestly say that I would rather die than go through that again.

2. Are you telling me that I PAID for this? I should start another thread about the GIANT SCAM that is the lapband, but I'll be brief here. This was NOT in the power point presentation. The golfball was NOT ever mentioned to me. The imaginary feeling of fullness that doesn't register with your head was NOT ever acknowledged pre-banding.

3. Productive Burp? How about Excrutiatingly Painful Gagging Sliming Heaving Feels Like You're About to Die Vomitation? (EPGSHFLYADV) Seriously, the acronym is EXCEPTIONALLY deceiving. I had no idea what I was in for.

And, no, I'm not too tight. I've had this fill for a month, and have eaten much worse than I did last night. In fact, I ate half a pizza last week with no problems. Please don't judge me and tell me to eat Protein.

So, basically, I'm pissed, and I'm getting more pissed as I write this. I'm terrified of ever going through that again, and I'm angry that I was misled. I am convinced that this procedure is entirely experimental and will be contraindicated in about 10 years. And physiologically, it makes no sense. How can my pouch hold half a pizza one day and just a few bites another? I need a scientific explanation beyond "the band is finicky."

I know this isn't the right forum for I Hate My Band discussions, but maybe there are a few others like me lurking. Anybody?

Ok, that is really terrible. I can see why you are so worked up about it. I haven't had a pb yet, but I have thrown up fluids I was trying to swallow when something got stuck in my band. I haven't had a fill yet.

How are you feeling about it now? Man, I am going to be super careful when in public now! Your friends must have been really freaked out. I hope you are better.:confused:

I was banded 2-9-06 and had the same exact experience you described. I ate a chicken strip wrap too fast, and oh my god, I thought I was going to die. I was sitting in my car, cup on my face, slime - well, you know the rest. It did make me stop, slow down and chew completely since then. I did this and I still have not had my first fill. I get it this week! I have already lost 30 lb since 1 week preop. I have found that eating grilled blackened fish, like salmon (yes, I dip it in drawn butter) along with a fried green tomato is my favorite. I have no problem getting it down, but I only eat that 1 time a week (my reward). Good luck and remember why you have put yourself through this so far. You are so funny, thats the best laugh I have had in awhile. Take care!

Just wanted to thank you for letting me know what PB meant. I've been trying to figure it out for a month. God bless you all.

Such an eloquent description of such a disgusting experience. You had me cracking up.

I am sorry to report that this happens to me about once a week or so. And my band is insanely finicky. And I am certainly not one to offer advice because it happens to me so much. But I will certainly monitor this thread to see what good advice comes from it.

Well, as Funny as it is....I am 5 days post op and will NEVER eat real food again. You have officially scared the crap out of me !! BUT, I do have to say two of my friends were banded before me and when I at the FINAL deciding moment (Like my plane leaves tomorrow AM) asked them ,"Is there anything, anything at all that I should know about that would make me want to Not do this ?" and they did tell me of a little burping (kind of like throwing up, but food never reached stomach so non of that nasty acid). Well I am sure neither one of them have experienced this kind of torture or Christian as I am, I will have to break the commandment and KILL them! and darn I really did want some real food, was even looking forward to it.......Gosh I hope tht never happens to you again, but you sure can tell a story!

I am not even a newbie, I a virgin. And that decription would have been funnier had I not been freaking out. My question would now be, was it worth all this ladies?

Pam:eek:

I am not even a newbie, I a virgin. And that decription would have been funnier had I not been freaking out. My question would now be, was it worth all this ladies?

Pam:eek:

So far my answer is a resounding: YEP!

Ask me when I've lost all the weight. My answer now is a resounding....eh.

It is worth it for me. It just reminds me that my body has changed and it is a new life. I just find the funny stuff and hoot about that instread of getting upset.

My biggest problem is I eat with people who I haven't told that I have had this surgery. I am pretty sure they think I am a nut, but it is ok. I also check out the bathroom when entering an eating place. You never know when you may need it quick!

I would have to say i would do it again 1000X's over! I have had PBing before but not the horrible story that is above. I would be freaked out too! I have been banded 3 years. I have had episodes of what i call "backwards burping" that is the only way i describe it. I had a small set back with my band. i had it loosened and gained. So i am starting over right now. I have been tightened about 2 weeks and i have lost about 10 or so pounds. I have never PB'd and had any kind of gagging to it. I do feel like i am gonna throw up, watering mouth, slimes, etc but never any gagging. I will fight to the death to keep from throwing up! I have had only one PB since getting "re-filled" It was at dinner sunday with my DH's family. I had less than 1/2 small chicken breast, 1/2 sweet potato patty, a bite of cream style corn, and a bite of my roll.... I was SICK i ate WAY too much!

I have learned over the few years i have been banded the thing that makes the biggest difference for me and my restricition is drinking while i am eating. If i take a drink with every bite i can almost eat like a normal person. What i have to do to get the full effect from my band/fill is to not drink ANYTHING while i am eating. Eat slow and stop when i start to feel pressure in my chest. I then put my food up and that is it. I don't wait and see if it will go down because i know i will end up defeating the purpose.

About the band being fickle it is true. I think though that alot of it with me has to do with textures. Some textures do better than others. I personally can not handle bread, cakes, Cookies, brownies, chips *worst PB of my life* i fought it for about an hour, my chest hurt so bad!

Ok well enough rambling... hehehe

April, I don't consider it rambling. That was all good information for me because I literally know nothing about this as of two days ago. So thanx for your openness and honesty. Its helping me make a decision that should change my life for the better, overall, despite a few inconveniences.

Thanks

Pam

Don't even talk to me about fickle. Yesterday, I barely had to chew. This morning, I was violently throwing up my own saliva for four hours. I had to take a cup to class with me and spit out my saliva so that I didn't have to run to the bathroom every three minutes.

I've been nursing the same cup of tea for an hour now listening to it gurgle down. And I'm fucking hungry. I hate my band.

Hey Kathy - I think this thing is working. Remember how I bragged about eating half a pizza? Well, I have been good lately and eating real food that comes from the earth instead of processed shit, but tonight I heard the word "pizza" and had to have one.

But I was full after one piece! That's 1/8 of a pizza, not half! Woohoo!

Ok, just because 1 piece was enough doesn't mean I didn't have 2. But I didn't really need it, so I'm not counting it against my band.

You mean you were eating and drinking ? Do you do that often Strawarts? And if you do why do you suppose they advise against it? I have occassionally done it, too thirsty to wait the required time, the food always is returned in a matter of seconds. You got away with it, now you feel entitled to continue. Hey if it all worked like that, what would be the point of it all ?! If you can eat it all...... Im floored... Geez Strawarts everybodys tip toeing around you saying "poor you "...... lol I bet you try it again

There ain't no magic sister !

Reading all of the postings is making me tear up. I was so glad to hear someone express frustration and irritation over the fact that none of the negatives were explained in the presentation! Wow, if I haven't thought that 100 times. I have had the bumpiest band road ever. That horrible vomiting (I hate that word) incident happens to me several times a week. Reason being, I never know how my band will react day to day or moment to moment. Too tight in the AM and loose as a goose in the PM. But always with surprises. I started out not being able to keep anything down at all until after 1pm yesterday......even sips of Water or hot tea, etc. came back up. Then at dinner with friends I realized I had no restriction, got carried away and ate with abandon.....no problems at all and I unfortunately, overate.:Banane13:

Frustration is my constant companion! Can anyone relate???? Please tell me I am not alone!