Oh my god.

I had gone almost 3 months post-banding without what you people so lovingly call a "PB," and let me tell you, those two little words do not do the deed any justice. I kept reading about people throwing up and I wondered what the hell was wrong with you all. I would almost rather die than vomit, as I have a very sensitive gag reflex, and once I get started, I can't stop. I thought you had to be crazy to eat so much or so wrong that it came back up.

Oh, little did I know. Now, I've had the golfball. I get the golfball, in varying intensities, several times a week. I figured it was just first bite syndrome, and it would always pass by walking around or trying to wash it down.

Until last night. I was on the San Antonio River Walk with some friends, and we were having some appetizers and margaritas. All of a sudden, I got the worst golfball ever. No warning. I went to the bathroom to try to walk it off. I paced the bathroom for about 10 minutes, and my mouth was filling up with slime. And then I threw up. It was mostly slime, and only a tiny amount of food. The most impressive part to me was that the slime came out in a 9 inch diameter BUBBLE! Like when you're using that string and wand thing and blowing bubbles! Crazy. If I didn't feel like such total shit I would have examined it more closely.

I thought I was better, and someone was trying to come into the bathroom, so I returned to my seat. I still had pressure in my chest, but nothing too bad. A few minutes later, the excrutiating golfball returned. We got up to leave, and I thought the walk back to the hotel would clear it.

But no. The more I walked, the more painful it became, and my mouth continued to fill with slime. Finally, I couldn't stand it, and I ran into the nearest restaurant to use the bathroom. Or, what I thought was a restaurant. It was actually some sort of bar that was checking IDs. I tried to hurry past the guying yelling "Ma'am!" until he manhandled me. I was at once flattered that I looked younger than 21 and terrified that I might vomit on this lovely young man. I turned to him and urgently whispered "I'm going to vomit. Please let me use your bathroom." If I have learned anything about men, it is that they are most afraid of a crazy bitch...especially a crazy bitch about to throw up.

I found the bathroom and immediately began vomiting. Another HUGE bubble. (Could I make money off this talent?) It is this vomiting session that I now consider the OFFICIAL WORST MOMENT OF MY LIFE. It was so painful, both in my chest and my pouch, and not at all PRODUCTIVE, like vomiting before the band was. Little chunks of food were coming up and getting stuck on the back of my tongue, making me gag and heave more.

Eventually, everything that was going to come up did, and I was left sobbing and shaking uncontrollably. And trying to rinse foot long slimes out of my mouth for the next five minutes.

Ok, so if you're still reading, a few observations:

1. Are you fucking kidding me? This has happened to you people more than once? My mom was banded a month before me, and I know that she has had this kind of episode on MANY occassions. I do not comprehend. Last night's situation has scared the pants off of me, and I have been eating VERY carefully today. I can honestly say that I would rather die than go through that again.

2. Are you telling me that I PAID for this? I should start another thread about the GIANT SCAM that is the lapband, but I'll be brief here. This was NOT in the power point presentation. The golfball was NOT ever mentioned to me. The imaginary feeling of fullness that doesn't register with your head was NOT ever acknowledged pre-banding.

3. Productive Burp? How about Excrutiatingly Painful Gagging Sliming Heaving Feels Like You're About to Die Vomitation? (EPGSHFLYADV) Seriously, the acronym is EXCEPTIONALLY deceiving. I had no idea what I was in for.

And, no, I'm not too tight. I've had this fill for a month, and have eaten much worse than I did last night. In fact, I ate half a pizza last week with no problems. Please don't judge me and tell me to eat Protein.

So, basically, I'm pissed, and I'm getting more pissed as I write this. I'm terrified of ever going through that again, and I'm angry that I was misled. I am convinced that this procedure is entirely experimental and will be contraindicated in about 10 years. And physiologically, it makes no sense. How can my pouch hold half a pizza one day and just a few bites another? I need a scientific explanation beyond "the band is finicky."

I know this isn't the right forum for I Hate My Band discussions, but maybe there are a few others like me lurking. Anybody?

Salt is the main ingredient, but I also think there is some other thing in there. Not too sure.

Thanks for the info. I am so swelled from pbs and not having any liquids (other than Water available) that I couldn't keep papaya enzymes down last night.

I will buy meat tenderizer by the gallon for my move. Celeste

Hi everyone...........ok help me out does it atter what kind of meat tenderizer or brand?

that was what I call a PB a real humdinger of a pb awww

it happens when the food sits on top of your band and cant get into your tum because it just wont break down ie bread (in my case) or you dont chew enough or leave enough time between swallows to allow the backlog to go. I had quite a few of those including one where sitting outside a restaurant I had to grab my handbag and throw up into it. when I emerged from under the table my friends were lookign at me in horror at the slime that was hanging from my mouth down to my chest !!

you will learn what you cant and cant have as time goes by, I think my last one was about 4 months ago because Im cautious now about what goes down. lol

its perfectly normal and gets worse after your fills as your used to being able to eat x amount then it all changes again. worth it though as you see the weight coming off

Ugh...I have to tell you what I was eating? Didn't you notice how I was cleverly avoiding that?

1. 3 barbeque chicken wings (I think they were breaded in addition to being covered in goop)

2. 2 spicy chicken wings

3. 2 jalapeno poppers (those fried, cream cheese filled gooey bundles of goodness)

4. maybe 4 fried mushrooms

5. margarita, baby!

See, Kathy, you keep blowing my cover! As you all sit here and say "And she wonders why she doesn't lose weight..."

Wow, this accountability thing kind of works. New rule - if you're too embarassed to admit that you ate it, maybe you should just have a carrot instead.

But...in my defense, I've eaten similar consistency foods with no problems before. That's what threw me off about this episode.

YOU GOT TO BE KIDDING ME! (I have to post here).

I am not banded!

But I would have a hell of a heartburn with spice chicken and jalapeno.

And margarita on the top? wow!

dam I probably have to put the finger to really get it out...because I would feel sick.

I do not have appointment for the band yet, but is interesting to learn about your comments.

Good thing I can't eat that now. And definetly avoided later.

Yea I like pizza.... but still get heart burn and load myself with tums and still have heartburn, can't even imagine what would happen with the band...

Good luck!

ahh the fond memories of my first PB, like hanging over the sink and in between burrps screaming to my husband

"CALL THE PARAMEDICS IM DYING HERE" !!!!

all on a bit of sugar free Jello

so as for chicken wings ect arrrrgh I can only imagine !!

I have had two attacks like yours. I don't think I would call it PBing. It is just the food getting stuck! Once time it lasted about 5 hours and the next time about 3 hours. What happen with me is my nose starts to run and then the saliva starts to form, I think this is our bodies way of trying to eliminate the food being stuck. I had to spit the saliva in a cup because it wouldn't go down for hours.Finally vomitted up what ever was stuck. Thank goodness both times happened at home. I am trying to learn to listen to my body and when the goft ball feeling happens STOP. I do carry the baggie with the napkins in my purse or under the seat of my car. I have never heard of the meat tenderizer thing!

Angel Eyes thats a full on PB

lol

awww horrible isnt it

I went and ate some chicken tonight (I know I know) at 5.30pm its now 11pm and its still stuck, though its not a pb no saliva etc but its lodged and its going NOWHERE

*sigh

I usually lift my arms up and down like a chicken and stretch as high as you can. I swear that helped get things moving! Just make sure no one see's you do it!

someone told me that if your having trouble dislodging the blockage, to take a drink of fizzy soda, it hurts but it brings the "lodge" right up

only to be used in dire emergencys !!

lol

WHOOO HOOO

OR SHOULD THAT BE

COCKK A DOOODLE DOOOO

I did the chicken thing and the chicken went !!

thanks for the tip

(the cat has left home) :nervous

Ohmigod that was by far the funniest post I read in a long time, sorry it was so bad for you, but I sure enjoyed reading about it!

p.s. The papaya tablets work wonders for me, never leave home without them.

I tryed drinking liquid and it didn't work. Spit didn't even go through so it couldn't either.

ordinary water or drinks dont work they make the pb worse, it has to be fizzy but beware its darned painful

Have found thru horrible personal experience that hot foods (especially spicy but also temp if liquor i.e. a hot toddy will bring on horrible pb followed by gastritis - yes, i ate 4 pringles barbeque chips, had a horrible pb attack then decided to stick to liquids for rest of night and took a big sip of an irish coffee and almost died that night (slight exaggeration) from gastritis - went on liquids and malox for one week - the only good thing of course was dropping a few lbs. today i did the dry cereal - about 3 flakes in the MORNING and havve paid dearly all day - another 'true' pb as oppossed to some of the other 'false' pb where it was just bad bad golfball eventually going down, not too much slime - yep major barf followed by pain and liquids all day - just starting to feel better. :)bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb

Im new, this is only my second post but, what is PBing?