Oh my god.

I had gone almost 3 months post-banding without what you people so lovingly call a "PB," and let me tell you, those two little words do not do the deed any justice. I kept reading about people throwing up and I wondered what the hell was wrong with you all. I would almost rather die than vomit, as I have a very sensitive gag reflex, and once I get started, I can't stop. I thought you had to be crazy to eat so much or so wrong that it came back up.

Oh, little did I know. Now, I've had the golfball. I get the golfball, in varying intensities, several times a week. I figured it was just first bite syndrome, and it would always pass by walking around or trying to wash it down.

Until last night. I was on the San Antonio River Walk with some friends, and we were having some appetizers and margaritas. All of a sudden, I got the worst golfball ever. No warning. I went to the bathroom to try to walk it off. I paced the bathroom for about 10 minutes, and my mouth was filling up with slime. And then I threw up. It was mostly slime, and only a tiny amount of food. The most impressive part to me was that the slime came out in a 9 inch diameter BUBBLE! Like when you're using that string and wand thing and blowing bubbles! Crazy. If I didn't feel like such total shit I would have examined it more closely.

I thought I was better, and someone was trying to come into the bathroom, so I returned to my seat. I still had pressure in my chest, but nothing too bad. A few minutes later, the excrutiating golfball returned. We got up to leave, and I thought the walk back to the hotel would clear it.

But no. The more I walked, the more painful it became, and my mouth continued to fill with slime. Finally, I couldn't stand it, and I ran into the nearest restaurant to use the bathroom. Or, what I thought was a restaurant. It was actually some sort of bar that was checking IDs. I tried to hurry past the guying yelling "Ma'am!" until he manhandled me. I was at once flattered that I looked younger than 21 and terrified that I might vomit on this lovely young man. I turned to him and urgently whispered "I'm going to vomit. Please let me use your bathroom." If I have learned anything about men, it is that they are most afraid of a crazy bitch...especially a crazy bitch about to throw up.

I found the bathroom and immediately began vomiting. Another HUGE bubble. (Could I make money off this talent?) It is this vomiting session that I now consider the OFFICIAL WORST MOMENT OF MY LIFE. It was so painful, both in my chest and my pouch, and not at all PRODUCTIVE, like vomiting before the band was. Little chunks of food were coming up and getting stuck on the back of my tongue, making me gag and heave more.

Eventually, everything that was going to come up did, and I was left sobbing and shaking uncontrollably. And trying to rinse foot long slimes out of my mouth for the next five minutes.

Ok, so if you're still reading, a few observations:

1. Are you fucking kidding me? This has happened to you people more than once? My mom was banded a month before me, and I know that she has had this kind of episode on MANY occassions. I do not comprehend. Last night's situation has scared the pants off of me, and I have been eating VERY carefully today. I can honestly say that I would rather die than go through that again.

2. Are you telling me that I PAID for this? I should start another thread about the GIANT SCAM that is the lapband, but I'll be brief here. This was NOT in the power point presentation. The golfball was NOT ever mentioned to me. The imaginary feeling of fullness that doesn't register with your head was NOT ever acknowledged pre-banding.

3. Productive Burp? How about Excrutiatingly Painful Gagging Sliming Heaving Feels Like You're About to Die Vomitation? (EPGSHFLYADV) Seriously, the acronym is EXCEPTIONALLY deceiving. I had no idea what I was in for.

And, no, I'm not too tight. I've had this fill for a month, and have eaten much worse than I did last night. In fact, I ate half a pizza last week with no problems. Please don't judge me and tell me to eat Protein.

So, basically, I'm pissed, and I'm getting more pissed as I write this. I'm terrified of ever going through that again, and I'm angry that I was misled. I am convinced that this procedure is entirely experimental and will be contraindicated in about 10 years. And physiologically, it makes no sense. How can my pouch hold half a pizza one day and just a few bites another? I need a scientific explanation beyond "the band is finicky."

I know this isn't the right forum for I Hate My Band discussions, but maybe there are a few others like me lurking. Anybody?

I have to say I was some what confused as to what a PB was until now .

That was some FUNNY shit. HOWEVER it was informative. I had a pretty good idea what a PB was but that was very descriptive . I think someone should sticky this simply because it describes a PB So well .

I was just banded and have not had a PB yet. I hope I never do . But MAN do i know what im in for now .

Thanks to the OP for that description.

Love

Mindy

My PB story!

I was on vacation, at the pool at the condo we stayed at on Cape Cod. I had breakfast earlier, but it was now almost 4pm, and we had reservations at 7:30. I decided to have a "snack" (from hell). I had 2 deli meats and cheese roll ups, and a few chips (it was the meat that was evil). I was at the pool, slowly eating and wham...I had the sharpest pain in my right breast (actually under the breast in my chest, but the boob is what it felt like). I walked away from the pool, and my girlfriend asked, "are you ok?" I shook my head no and walked out of the pool area...where I leaned up against a building, holding my right boob. Just then some guys come out on their way to the liquor store. They jokingly asked, "are you hiding?" I could barely smile and shake my head no. Some weird noise came out of my mouth like a "No". They were barely out of sight, and I started spitting...then whamo...one quick puke and I was fine. I mean...FINE... It was so painful, but once I got it out..I was fine. It was the weirdest sensation ever.

What is this papaya stuff? Pill or what? When do you take it? Before, during, after? Is it easier than meat tenderizer? What does everyone think?

:cry

I have had several pbs since being banded at the end of Dec. They were just

like the description of a pb. I burped and some food came with it. No big deal.

UNTIL the other night. I ate some fish and it was very dry. I thought some tartar sauce would make it easier to eat. Got the golf ball, went to the bathroom and threw it up. I thought that would be the end of it. But NO!

I ended up throwing up white foam for the next two hours. I couldn't figure out why nothing was coming with it. I was really afraid I was going to

have to go to the emergency room. I couldn't stop puking this white foam.

Eventually, it stopped. I have been on liquids ever since.

They say to go on liquids for 24 hours after something like this, but since I made it 24 hours on liquids without being hungry, I decided just to stay on liquids and maybe I will break this plateau I have been stuck on.

By the way, I have the same fill as you. 2.5 in a 4cc band. I usually have no trouble with this sort of thing. I can pretty much eat anything as long as I chew well enough, but that episode has given me a new respect for my band.

Sure hope that does not happen to me. It sounds really bad. Your telling of it was really funny though. Donna

I have had several sliming episodes during the process of learning what I can eat. Only one that was even close to what you described though! Some days I dont dare look at bread or other things, other days I can eat it no problem.

I have stopped focusing so much on what my band reacts to (unless I had a horrible experience with a food) and eat very small bites of whatever food it is I am wanting. Yesterday I had some bread at an italian place with no issues at all. I just eat really slowly and look for signs that this may not work before it gets me to the sick point of no return.

As far as the weight loss goes I guess I dont need to tell you if you eat like crap all the time youre going to get crap results. I have found if I eat pasta, especially lasagna I can eat a ton of it no problem! My solution is not to order that kind of food or to get something with meat and a small amount of pasta as a side. The band alone will not give us results, you have to want to work with it which I have found is a stuggle until you finally concede to it.

Good luck! I am so sorry you had to go through that in public at that! What a horrible feeling! I think any of us would have been upset about that.

I am thinking about getting the band and all of your posts have been very informative, thank you. This whole site is awesome! How often can I expect to get these horrible sounding pbs?

If you all knew what the pb felt like before you got the band would you still go through with it?

Thanks, Michael

i just had my first really bad PB last night. i just recd my last fill Thursday and ate about 1.5 oz of salmon and no "one more bite and you'll be in pain" warning. it hurt so bad, my chest felt like an elephant was sitting on it. it was also the first time i slimed and then it all came back up. it was quite violent. i am on liquids and very mushy mushies today and probably tomorrow.

I am thinking about getting the band and all of your posts have been very informative, thank you. This whole site is awesome! How often can I expect to get these horrible sounding pbs?

That depends on how quickly you learn to take very tiny bites and chew

until there is nothing left to chew-until it's liquid. After you have a few fills

you will be surprised. Something that you have been eating without a problem can turn into a problem with a new fill. You have to learn to eat very slowly,

and see how it feels.

If you all knew what the pb felt like before you got the band would you still go through with it?

Thanks, Michael

I would! My last pb was very nasty. It was by far much worse

than any I have ever experienced. I don't know why. Food must

have been caught and wouldn't come up, that's why I continued

to throw up white foam.

All the rest of the time, it has been no big deal.

Food gets stuck, up it comes and that's the end of it.

How many have you had since you have been banded Denise? What was the hardest thing to get used to? What do you miss most? Do you ever feel hungry?

This site and your comments have really opened my eyes that this is not a miracle cure. I thought that I would be able to eat and drink anything, just not as much. Could you please tell me what and how much you ate the past few days?

Thank you so much....................................................MICHAEL

I really don't know how many I have had in the almost 8 months since banding. I threw up two days in a row, after this last fill. I threw up my vitamins . I have learned to be really careful the first few days after a fill. I threw up a piece of broccoli once out in a restaurant from a salad bar. If I had to guess, I would say that I have probably thrown up a dozen times since being banded last Dec. But most of the time, it's not a big deal. It's painful when something is stuck. I raise my hands up above my head and it goes down. If it doesn't I know now to lean over the sink, and out it pops.

This last one with the fish was very unusual. I ran to the bathroom and out popped the fish. I don't know why I kept throwing up "slime" which is white foam after I got home. There must have still been a tiny piece still stuck.

I do get hungry when I haven't eaten for several hours. I eat cottage cheese with yogurt mixed in, I eat a lot of spinach leaves made into a salad with chicken breast mixed in, I eat some South Beach frozen meals, turkey chili. I eat fruit every day. I had two tiny pieces of pizza on vacation. I chewed very well and they didn't get stuck.

Usually, I can eat whatever I want, as long as I chew very very well. You have to chew until there is nothing left to chew and eat slowly.

How much do I eat? It depends on what it is. If it's soft and mushy and goes right through the band, I can eat more. If it's hard protein like chicken breast, I eat less.

please feel free to private message me if you have more questions that I didn't answer, or you can keep asking here. There are a lot of people that have trouble with certain foods. I don't eat rice, not because it gets stuck, but because it's fattening and has no nutritional value. When I eat, I am trying to eat protein.

I know I shouldnt giggle, but I kind of did!! great writing..I had surgery 5/31 and have pb'd quite a bit..the thing I have decided is that there

is no rhyme or reason to when or what I eat to feel restricted...and yes,

that sucks!!! I had been doing great, then was able to eat a whole

chicken thigh, 2 slices of eggplant & a couple pieces of bread(baguette)..i was shocked that I could eat all of that with no problems, then started my period 2 days later...of course, premenstual time was always a hungry time but how can hormones affect the band?? Then last nite I took one small bite of the meat of a burger and it was stuck for 30 minutes..

most mornings, I cant eat anything, then this morning about after being

up 3 hours, was able to eat some raw veggies with no problem..I

think the lack of consistency is just something we have to deal with,

I remember reading about that somewhere..

I am sorry your pb experience was so horrible, mine has not happened

in public, but that is because i only drink, eat soup or a very small

amount of something mushy that I chew forever!!!! take care!! Sheila

Ok so I'm on mushies and last night I had some mushes chicken in a can and mustard and mushed it up well.

I got a huge golf ball feeling and a hirroble chest pain after two bites of it.

But no pb or sliming or vomiting.

Is it only when you get a fill?

I haven't had my first fill yet.

I think I had my 1st pb after my 1st fill...then more often

after my 2nd..it doesnt bother me too much to do it, not

as much as "worst experience of my life" at least (thank

goodness!!) ..It usually happens at home..maybe because

I am much more aware and careful if I am eating out or

at someones house...I did it probably

daily for about a week after my 2nd fill..even after only 1 or 2

little bites of something..but only once a week or so now..

I was able to eat tortellini that they served at work yesterday

and ate the whole serving + a few raw veggies with no

problem..but then a little bit of chicken last nite got stuck..

You just never know

For me it is just a burp but the air cant come out so some

of the food comes up...doesnt hurt me and does give relief

to the golf ball..the sliming seems to happen more if you

have a golf ball and are not able to get to a place that

you can burp anything up, so you try to keep it down..then

the sliming is too weird...but again, doesnt hurt me..just

not something you want to do around anyone!! Hope this

answers a few of your ?'s..