Still hate my band

[Humming Bird 275]

I think sometimes people may not realize they are doing some self sabotage. In that case, no matter how nice we are with trying to help, it won't work. It's is as much a mind thing as a matter thing. Like I said before, it's the attitude sometimes. I could look at the band as a blessing or a curse and make either one come true. Is it a curse because I can no longer eat fried food (which I loved) or is it a blessing I can no longer eat fried food? I say blessing. The OP says curse.

We all have different things that are important to us. For some, cheeseburgers. french fries, cake, fried food, and pizza top the list.

For some health tops the list. For some, like me, wearing smaller clothes and feeling great wearing them is very close to the top. If I had a choice between a cheesburger and a size 10 pair of jeans I choose the size 10.

[Formerly Fluffy 5]

Lol, stalking is NOT in my job description!

This will be my last word on the subject. You 'called me out' (as you put it) on something you 'perceived' (wrongly). I did not call anyone stupid, nor did I insinuate that they were. I can't decide whether your bitterness over your band is causing you to attack me...or whether you're just my previous stalker under a new name. In either case, I'm done with you.

.

[Cleo's Mom 257]

CM,

I make no judgments and I'm not suspicious when someone says the band isn't working for them. I do take time to ask questions because one thing I have learned is that many do not know how the band operates. There's an awful lot of misinformation out there and much of it coming from the doctors!

.

I was not talking about you specifically, I was talking in general terms. Even for those for whom the band works successfully, I don't think it works the same way for all of them. I think for some it helps to curb hunger, for others small amounts of food provides satiety, for others it has caused them to rethink the whole way they approach food and the choices they make and for some it is all of these things. Each successful person's experience is different just as each unsuccesful person's is.

I couldn't agree more about doctors. I think the WLS field is filled with surgeons who jumped on the bandwagon to make money. Expanding their general surgery practice, they assumed that they had the surgical skills. But too many are all over the place with advice from the pre-op diet to how to do adjustments, to how much to eat when starting solids, to being anti-carbs, etc.. All you have to do is read what people post about their doctor's advice. There should be a consensus about how this band works and how to approach it before and after surgery. That's called standard practice of care. If I have a certain type and stage of cancer I can probably expect the same treatment no matter what hospital of excellence I go to. That's not the same with what I have read on here about doctors and the lapband.

[LollyMoe 1]

To FF: Actually I have had times when I needed advice and help from others on this forum. You are the only person that has ever been rather accusatory towards me, so, I have considered the source and will leave it at that for now.

Well sometimes what goes around does come around. And for you I'm hoping when you start having problems with YOUR Lap Band that those you chat with on this forum are less accusatory then you were to the poster.

[Formerly Fluffy 5]

That was a very supportive post. I appreciate it when others who are losing well with their band can understand that many others do not do well at all with it, and give the support that u just gave instead of having the "blame the bandster" mentality!

Unfortunately there are a percentage that dont lose weight with the band and that is the sad part. You have done nothing wrong and if I were you I would either have it taken out and maybe consider the sleeve or just have it removed. You did all you can do and thats what counts. I would say just do what your heart tells you too. Some days Im surely not happy with my band but not about losng weight but eating has become a chore since my fill trying to find things and not eat the same thing every single day. Its not that it gets stuck but there are so many things I cant eat and Im really tired of just barely eating enough calories to live. I am happy with my weight loss but some days its hard to fathom that I really have to eat like this for whatever time I have left on earth. Yes I love being healthy but a darn piece of pizza would surely be nice once in a while but I in no way can eat any kind of bread. It is a big decision and no one should take it lightly. Hope you find peace girl.

[Formerly Fluffy 5]

Good point. Ultimately it is our opinion only that counts as to weather we feel our band was a success or a failure. I'm glad you have done well with yours.

I think sometimes people may not realize they are doing some self sabotage. In that case, no matter how nice we are with trying to help, it won't work. It's is as much a mind thing as a matter thing. Like I said before, it's the attitude sometimes. I could look at the band as a blessing or a curse and make either one come true. Is it a curse because I can no longer eat fried food (which I loved) or is it a blessing I can no longer eat fried food? I say blessing. The OP says curse.

We all have different things that are important to us. For some, cheeseburgers. french fries, cake, fried food, and pizza top the list.

For some health tops the list. For some, like me, wearing smaller clothes and feeling great wearing them is very close to the top. If I had a choice between a cheesburger and a size 10 pair of jeans I choose the size 10.

[HeatherinCA 10]

Thanks for your response. I was beginning to wonder what I had gotten myself into! I've studied this procedure for a year and have concluded that you have to work on yourself first. I'm trying to remind myself that all I did was choose life over food. If it helps control my appetite, it will have been money well spent. Obviously I can't control it alone!

Honestly, I feel totally normal, I eat my food, and exercise, it's just life. Maybe it's just me but I don't feel deprived or anything really. I'm never hungry unless I wait too long to eat a meal. I don't want to do any serious cheating, I'm scared I'll get sick, I know I'll be fuller if I eat healthy foods, Protein rich foods and I don't want to sabotage this super expensive surgery! I do like to watch what goes in.. I've been looking at calories and things (i'm not anal about it and I don't really write it down, but I will check if I'm out to dinner and see what has lower calories), to me it's just not worth it to eat these things anymore. For some reason, since i had the surgery, I don't want these things, I don't know why this is, but I actually don't really crave junk.

I think sometimes people may not realize they are doing some self sabotage. In that case, no matter how nice we are with trying to help, it won't work. It's is as much a mind thing as a matter thing. Like I said before, it's the attitude sometimes. I could look at the band as a blessing or a curse and make either one come true. Is it a curse because I can no longer eat fried food (which I loved) or is it a blessing I can no longer eat fried food? I say blessing. The OP says curse.

We all have different things that are important to us. For some, cheeseburgers. french fries, cake, fried food, and pizza top the list.

For some health tops the list. For some, like me, wearing smaller clothes and feeling great wearing them is very close to the top. If I had a choice between a cheesburger and a size 10 pair of jeans I choose the size 10.

Yea that's true! I love food, but since I had the surgery I don't physically want the junk anymore. I know I can have a bite of something if I really need it, but I'm pretty content actually.

[Melissannde 41]

Actually I think a lot of ppl probably read it that way but I was the only one that called her out on it.

Like ElfiePoo, I am going to comment one more time on the "stupid" comment and then let it go.

It is really unfair for you to make blanket comments such as "I think a lot of people probably read it that way" or the one you made earlier (perhaps I'm paraphrasing, but this is close enough) "the band doesn't work for most people".

When you take other people's words into your mouth (well, fingers as we are typing) you ruin your own credibility. Also screaming in posts when you type all in caps and in violent colors is a huge turn off. Calm rational discussion will appeal to much more people.

I'm really sorry you and your band don't get along. I'm really sorry you feel like you wasted your money. I can understand where you're coming from as the only reason my insurance covered my band is that I had had to have a life saving surgery 16 months earlier that met my deductible. The life saving surgery? We had to pay for a majority of it out of pocket. Being self employed sucks sometimes.. insurance wise.

I have no idea, other than the 14 fills/unfills, what or how you have tried to make the band work. If you'd like to discuss it without making accusations or recriminations, I'd be happy to make suggestions and I'm sure others would here too. If you just want to complain about wasting money and bash surgeons.. oh well. It seems to me that the money has been spent, might as well try everything you can to make the band work before spending even more on another surgery (which will still require a life-style change).

Best to you

[Formerly Fluffy 5]

Violent colors??????????? Your kidding, right?!

Like ElfiePoo, I am going to comment one more time on the "stupid" comment and then let it go.

It is really unfair for you to make blanket comments such as "I think a lot of people probably read it that way" or the one you made earlier (perhaps I'm paraphrasing, but this is close enough) "the band doesn't work for most people".

When you take other people's words into your mouth (well, fingers as we are typing) you ruin your own credibility. Also screaming in posts when you type all in caps and in violent colors is a huge turn off. Calm rational discussion will appeal to much more people.

I'm really sorry you and your band don't get along. I'm really sorry you feel like you wasted your money. I can understand where you're coming from as the only reason my insurance covered my band is that I had had to have a life saving surgery 16 months earlier that met my deductible. The life saving surgery? We had to pay for a majority of it out of pocket. Being self employed sucks sometimes.. insurance wise.

I have no idea, other than the 14 fills/unfills, what or how you have tried to make the band work. If you'd like to discuss it without making accusations or recriminations, I'd be happy to make suggestions and I'm sure others would here too. If you just want to complain about wasting money and bash surgeons.. oh well. It seems to me that the money has been spent, might as well try everything you can to make the band work before spending even more on another surgery (which will still require a life-style change).

Best to you

[Humming Bird 275]

Honestly, I feel totally normal, I eat my food, and exercise, it's just life. Maybe it's just me but I don't feel deprived or anything really. I'm never hungry unless I wait too long to eat a meal. I don't want to do any serious cheating, I'm scared I'll get sick, I know I'll be fuller if I eat healthy foods, Protein rich foods and I don't want to sabotage this super expensive surgery! I do like to watch what goes in.. I've been looking at calories and things (i'm not anal about it and I don't really write it down, but I will check if I'm out to dinner and see what has lower calories), to me it's just not worth it to eat these things anymore. For some reason, since i had the surgery, I don't want these things, I don't know why this is, but I actually don't really crave junk.

Yea that's true! I love food, but since I had the surgery I don't physically want the junk anymore. I know I can have a bite of something if I really need it, but I'm pretty content actually.

I am the same way with some foods. Some things I thought I would really miss don't even sound good now. When I was newly banded it was worse, but as time passed some things just don't sound good enough to eat anymore. In my lifetime I was the queen of fried food. I can fry anything! Now I don't even crave fried stuff. It's a very strange benifit of my band, but I'll take it! Fried foods and fast food is half the reason I got obese. I still give the other half to genetics.

[jingleboob 5]

I understand why you don't like your band. It's taken more from me emotionally than I thought it would. I didn't realize how much of my life revolved around food. Get togethers, holidays, parties... anything social is FOOD FOOD FOOD. I couldn't have my grandma's banana bread on Christmas morning... I tried a bite and got stuck and cried and cried. It's something I always looked forward to and I can't have it anymore. I hated the band that day. I find a lot of those issues.

I admit that I don't love my band like I had thought I would. I just had my 3rd fill on Friday and am hoping what I'm feeling is "restriction". But I don't start solid foods again until tomorrow. BUt, unlike my previous fills, I can feel Water slowly draining from my upper stomach... pudding and chicken salad are making me feel full after a few bites. I didn't feel ANY of that until now. I think I expected it to "work" for me sooner than 5 months after surgery. I lost more weight in the 3 months before surgery than I have since... so I'm frustrated, feel like I wasted money and should have had the sleeve or bypass. But in the end, I'm not following the rules entirely. I'm eating less than before but not always the healthiest of foods. Money is tight and the healthy foods are expensive. Trying to make the best choices out of what I have, but I know it's not ideal. I also know that I'm still not chewing enough, still drinking too soon after meals etc. So I can't entirely blame the band, I'm responsible for a lot of my band dismay. I'm hoping that this is actual restriction I am starting to feel, hope to get that boost I need to kick myself into gear.

If I could go back I would choose another WLS, but I'm stuck with this band and I'm going to try to make it work for me. Looks like you've got plenty of people who understand you here, but if you ever want to chat or complain together send me a message!

Shannon

[ElfiePoo 109]

But in the end, I'm not following the rules entirely. I'm eating less than before but not always the healthiest of foods. Money is tight and the healthy foods are expensive. Trying to make the best choices out of what I have, but I know it's not ideal. I also know that I'm still not chewing enough, still drinking too soon after meals etc. So I can't entirely blame the band, I'm responsible for a lot of my band dismay. I'm hoping that this is actual restriction I am starting to feel, hope to get that boost I need to kick myself into gear.

Shannon,

With this kind of attitude, I believe you'll be successful in the long run because you're being honest about why your weight loss has been slow *and* you aren't giving up. This is a journey, not a race. We're changing a lifetime of habits and, while some people seem to be able to do it seemingly effortlessly...most of us take one step back for every two forward *but* we're moving forward!

Good luck to you!

Melody

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[TN_girl21 1]

I've debated replying to this thread. But here it goes...

I'm almost 13 months out. I had lost 50 pounds, and had to have 1 slight unfill. Right around Christmas I started getting this horrible pain in my upper abdomen, then the pain started radiating through my back and up between my breasts. I went in for a complete unfill. When I had Fluid in my band, I never knew if I was going to vomit my food up. And I was eating slow, chewing really well (basically to a mush), and eating right. But not knowing if I was going to get sick, I started eating around the band. And I will admit that. I have now gained about 15 pounds. Yes, I am devastated. And it is partially my fault for eating around the band, but I partially blame the band because I was following the rules and I was still getting sick. With a complete unfill, I can't notice too much difference. I am trying to keep my portions small. I am basically eating about 5 small small meals a day. I'm trying my hardest not to gain anymore until I figure out what is going on with me.

The band doesn't work for everyone. An employee of my mom's had the band and got very very ill from the band. She now has the bypass. The band can be a curse or blessing...it all depends. I was able to still eat what I wanted, but I didn't. But at a birthday party or something like that, I would have maybe a couple bites of cake (instead of 2 pieces). Sweets and carbs are my thing so yes it has been hard.

I'm not going to judge anybody because it's not my place. Plus there is a possibility that my band is causing my problems. I go to the GI doctor for an evaluation on Wednesday, and they will schedule a scope.

I really hope you find a way to lose weight that will work for you!

[Cleo's Mom 257]

I've debated replying to this thread. But here it goes...

I'm almost 13 months out. I had lost 50 pounds, and had to have 1 slight unfill. Right around Christmas I started getting this horrible pain in my upper abdomen, then the pain started radiating through my back and up between my breasts. I went in for a complete unfill. When I had Fluid in my band, I never knew if I was going to vomit my food up. And I was eating slow, chewing really well (basically to a mush), and eating right. But not knowing if I was going to get sick, I started eating around the band. And I will admit that. I have now gained about 15 pounds. Yes, I am devastated. And it is partially my fault for eating around the band, but I partially blame the band because I was following the rules and I was still getting sick. With a complete unfill, I can't notice too much difference. I am trying to keep my portions small. I am basically eating about 5 small small meals a day. I'm trying my hardest not to gain anymore until I figure out what is going on with me.

The band doesn't work for everyone. An employee of my mom's had the band and got very very ill from the band. She now has the bypass. The band can be a curse or blessing...it all depends. I was able to still eat what I wanted, but I didn't. But at a birthday party or something like that, I would have maybe a couple bites of cake (instead of 2 pieces). Sweets and carbs are my thing so yes it has been hard.

I'm not going to judge anybody because it's not my place. Plus there is a possibility that my band is causing my problems. I go to the GI doctor for an evaluation on Wednesday, and they will schedule a scope.

I really hope you find a way to lose weight that will work for you!

I think you make some very valid points. There is a not too subtle message out there from many sources that says if we want to be a normal weight we must eat things we don't like and don't eat things we do. Do you think thin people think this way? No. My former nutritionist said there is only one purpose for eating - nutrition. Really? Food is an integral part of our social network. Have you ever been to any social or holiday gathering that didn't involve food? And what did they serve? Tofu? No. Food has a lot of tradition with different ethnic groups, too. And carbs have been demonized. The poor baked potato is the cause of our obesity?

Obvioulsy making wrong food choices on a daily basis is wrong. But it doesn't make you a bad person for longing for your grandmother's banana bread or a big mac. And there is nothing wrong with having a bit of either once in a while. If a person's band is so tight that many or most foods are eliminated from your diet, then they should re-think about getting a slight unfill. And this is especially true if you are vomiting, have heartburn, reflux or pain.

Those of us who are obese have been made to feel guilty about eating all our lives. Food is bad. I remember doing a mental mantra "Food is evil". Food is not evil. Thin people don't look at it that way. Maybe we should quit studying about what makes us obese and study what allows adults to remain thin all their lives. Do you observe thin people when you are out eating? Aren't they eating pizza, fried foods, etc.? They are where I go. But they probably do it once a week, not every day.

We've got to stop demonizing food and our desire for things that taste good. It's okay to want to be able to eat all the stuff that tastes good. It's just not good to actually eat it on a regular basis. We can come up with a way to incorporate it into our lives without it causing a problem. Maybe some are like recovering alcoholics who can never have alcohol again, but I suspect most of us can handle the occasional cookie, piece of pizza, etc... without going overboard.

[andrea0121 28]

I don't have anything to add; you guys have the patience of a saint though. The support on this forum is amazing. FF, I wish you could see that people are only trying to help.