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thank u all for your responses.... I guess sometimes I feel like im going crazy bc unlike your experiences I can't remember. I wish i could, so I can say "ok this is what it is and now I can deal with it." I am so lost. I Love my husband, but I feel guilty all the time for the lack of sex, I've even gotten to the point where passionate kissing is upseting. I feel like a failor of a wife. My body tells me something happened...

amy

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Don't feel like a failure! Sometimes your mind blocks things like that from you...sometimes completely and sometimes only enough to make it hurt less. You mnd is trying to protect you in a way. While yes being on top for me was hard because I did feel exposed it was better than the feeling I had when a man was hovering over me and baring down on me...It took some time to get used to being on top, but it would have been even more difficult under him. Everyone is different and different things will work for you. I have heard some people use hypnosis to uncover their past, but that wasn't an option for me because, again, I wouldn't feel 100% in control and would be vunerable :confused: Good luck in you journey...it's hard...sometimes it's very long, but you'll get there. I'm here if you need to talk or vent....I hope you find what works for you..what gets you the comfort you need!

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Since there is a lot of talk about toys in this thread, I thought I would share this. Dreamscape has a toy recycling program. Have a toy that broke or you don't use? Clean it and send it to them. They break it down into raw material for recycling so it doesn't end up in a landfill and will send you a $10 coupon toward a new toy.

Sex Toy Recycling Program

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