I swear I am so tired of hearing that! "Your getting too skinny" "your going to start looking sick" "Stop losing weight" "I don't want to hurt your feelings but you should just eat a little more"

Like I realize this is the smallest I have ever been in my adult life, but I assure everyone that I am healthy and not starving myself. Even the surgeon and dietician said that I am eating more calories than someone at the same stage. I refuse to stop working out and refuse to stop eating how I eat to appease people.

Ran over thanks for listening!

3 hours ago, ShoppGirl said:

You would be surprised they can be quite hurtful. Even the well intended ones that say you look so good are usually followed up by commenting on how big you were before which pretty much sucks. This can be especially difficult if you put a little weight back on or in my case a lot and then you have to go around those people knowing they are for sure judging you again. And even if you don’t gain it still kinda stings to know that people who are supposed to love you were judging you before for something that was out of your control. I had one person who had known me for years tell me that they just realized what a pretty girl I am about five minutes after they asked if I had lost weight!! I don’t think people think before they talk sometimes. Bottom line is any comments about weight CAN be hurtful and it’s something that people should tread really lightly about in my opinion. Or better yet learn to see a person for who they actually are and not even notice a persons size amongst other physical things (only in a perfect world I know).

Why do you say you wish you were getting these comments? Have you not lost what you expected to with the sleeve? Are you still losing? That’s what I had first and I never did get to my goal weight. I am doing a revision surgery to the SADI in early August. My dr said that the sleeve is a great surgery for a lot of people but obesity is a complex issue and it is not the best fit for everyone. Some people just need more of a metabolic change to be successful.

I am sorry to hear about the top part.

As far as your question, I am gaining weight so fast, I am back on my liquid diet. My surgery was only a year ago. It has been hard to lose weight despite not eating much and changing diet.

2 minutes ago, T O P said:

I am sorry to hear about the top part.

As far as your question, I am gaining weight so fast, I am back on my liquid diet. My surgery was only a year ago. It has been hard to lose weight despite not eating much and changing diet.

That’s exactly how I felt. I got down close to my doctors goal for me (18’ppunds shy) stalled there for about three months and then the hunger came back and I started to gain. If you haven’t spoken to your surgeon yet, definitely do that. They have some weight loss meds you may want to try (I couldn’t take because of other meds I’m on) and also the GLP-1 that some people are having a lot of success with (my insurance doesn’t cover but some do now). Plus there is the option of revision if/when you are ready. I am learning that it’s not super uncommon for people to have to revise the sleeve. Don’t quote me but it seems like it was 26%! Of people need revision within 3’years. Dom‘t personalize it like I did. I felt like I was such a failure that I stopped going to my follow up appointments and gained it all plus some. Hopefully they can help you before it comes to that.

Hugs. Some people never get where they want to be and thats just cruel

Edited July 3, 20242 yr by summerseeker
wrong post

8 hours ago, ShoppGirl said:

That’s exactly how I felt. I got down close to my doctors goal for me (18’ppunds shy) stalled there for about three months and then the hunger came back and I started to gain. If you haven’t spoken to your surgeon yet, definitely do that. They have some weight loss meds you may want to try (I couldn’t take because of other meds I’m on) and also the GLP-1 that some people are having a lot of success with (my insurance doesn’t cover but some do now). Plus there is the option of revision if/when you are ready. I am learning that it’s not super uncommon for people to have to revise the sleeve. Don’t quote me but it seems like it was 26%! Of people need revision within 3’years. Dom‘t personalize it like I did. I felt like I was such a failure that I stopped going to my follow up appointments and gained it all plus some. Hopefully they can help you before it comes to that.

I got on my scale 2 weeks I was 315 now this week I am 322. Massive gain in that short time. Everyone says I eat like a chicken but chicken don't gain that much weight.

2 hours ago, T O P said:

I got on my scale 2 weeks I was 315 now this week I am 322. Massive gain in that short time. Everyone says I eat like a chicken but chicken don't gain that much weight.

Well you really do have to lot your calories if you have not done that (and measure things- don’t just eyeball it (because you would be surprised how little the portions look that we actually need after years of feeding an obese body and don’t go by what others think because they are used to seeing you eat so much more so it’s just as much of an adjustment for them as it is for you BUT, if you have tied all that, don’t just give uP, you’ve still got options

16 hours ago, T O P said:

I wish I was hearing these comments

you will then it gets annoying lol

after reading the rest of the comments, maybe getting into a routine. I measure and weigh everything. I track everything. I don't really pay attention to fat and carbs, but usually with eating a lot of protein I am able to keep fat under 25-30g and carbs under 60g. movement is super duper important too! I workout min an hour everyday. I know that seems daunting but I started with walking 25min during my lunch break and I built up then about 2-3months ago I started to incorporate weights. I don't drink alcohol (mainly because I have alcoholic tendencies and I did try to have a drink a month ago and it ended up being a 3day binge of a lot so I know I cant) I don't drink carbonation just water, Gatorade zero, coffee, ect.... I know it sucks because we want to be able to eat whatever we want but the reality is that our bodies don't let us and we gain. It is something that we will struggle with the rest of our lives, BUT we choose our hard. to be overweight and hurt? or sacrifice all the treats or just indulge a little bit. I still eat ice cream off my husbands bowl, or have a sip of his soda. I dont restrict myself crazily. You got this!!! dont give up!!! were here to help!

Edited July 3, 20242 yr by AmberFL

I get comments and I haven’t even had the surgery yet. My surgery is on 7/25 and when i talk about my goal weight, I get the whole that’s too much weight loss, you won’t look good. How are you going to tell me that a healthy size I once was before I started having weight gain issues will make me look unhealthy. I learned not to talk about it with certain people because they really aren’t supportive. Some people don’t want to see you change for the better because then you are leaving them behind.

On 7/13/2024 at 5:25 PM, Trina45 said:

I learned not to talk about it with certain people because they really aren’t supportive. Some people don’t want to see you change for the better because then you are leaving them behind.

I hear you! I feel like the social side-effects of my surgery have really taught me to tell the difference between truly supportive friends & family, and those who claim to care but seem to be more concerned about how my weight loss (& lifestyle) will affect their life. There are some I don't talk to about dieting/health of any kind anymore, and others I just don't talk to period.

On 6/27/2024 at 7:11 PM, AmberFL said:

I swear I am so tired of hearing that! "Your getting too skinny" "your going to start looking sick" "Stop losing weight" "I don't want to hurt your feelings but you should just eat a little more"

Like I realize this is the smallest I have ever been in my adult life, but I assure everyone that I am healthy and not starving myself. Even the surgeon and dietician said that I am eating more calories than someone at the same stage. I refuse to stop working out and refuse to stop eating how I eat to appease people.

Ran over thanks for listening!

My standard reply when people begin this cr*p is to say, ‘have I ever discussed my weight with you before? No? Well I’ll not be starting now’, because my weight is not your business’ . that shuts them up.

If it’s a friend, I just change the subject, but if pushed they get told, with a smile, my weight is not their concern.

when i first started getting the "you are too skinny" comments, i was annoyed...because i was still considered overweight for my height and i thought the people saying this to me were blind. or stupid.

then i started to feel secretly good about it, cuz i felt i looked great and was super proud of my weight loss and thought people saying this were just jealous. or stupid.

THEN i started to doubt myself and be self-conscious about my looks as i began to take these people's comments to heart. i thought these people were mean. or just well-meaning (this was the worst stage...luckily this phase didn't last long...maybe a couple months).

after a little more time, the comments began to just get boring. i finally knew i looked and felt awesome. so those people went back to being stupid.

now, no one makes any comments at all (despite me weighing LESS now than when all their "concern" started showing up). almost all the people that knew me as fat are now used to me being skinny. others never even remember knowing me as fat.

i'll be six years out in October.

so long story short. eff all the people and their comments. so long as YOU feel great, you're golden. try not let others' opinions change your own good opinion of yourself.

❤️

Oh I get these all the time!

My own brother made a disgusted face the last time he saw me and was like "You don't look good". The funny part is that he was also sleeved and is the definition of skinny LOL, so that tells you, don't take it personally! My MIL keeps telling me that I'm "disappearing" and people generally tell me I've lost a lot of weight the minute they see me.

I don't think it comes from a bad place, I think it's the shock of how they're used to how you've looked (for me it was only the past 5 years as I was always slim and fit) and I remind them that I looked like that my entire adulthood before my ankle injury and then they go quiet.

Sometimes people are simply jealous. People who genuinely say it to compliment me will say things like "you lost a lot of weight and you look so good!" or "good on you!" or "you look amazing" and I know these people mean well and there's no hiding green monster, so there you go.

At one point - when tipping into 50's (kgs) I did worry that I was going too low - but guess what, I feel AMAZING and I'm really happy with the way I look (flat backside and all ?) and that's all that matters. Also, hubby can't get enough LOL!!!

Edited July 17, 20242 yr by Lilia_90

8 hours ago, Lilia_90 said:

Oh I get these all the time!

My own brother made a disgusted face the last time he saw me and was like "You don't look good". The funny part is that he was also sleeved and is the definition of skinny LOL, so that tells you, don't take it personally! My MIL keeps telling me that I'm "disappearing" and people generally tell me I've lost a lot of weight the minute they see me.

I don't think it comes from a bad place, I think it's the shock of how they're used to how you've looked (for me it was only the past 5 years as I was always slim and fit) and I remind them that I looked like that my entire adulthood before my ankle injury and then they go quiet.

Sometimes people are simply jealous. People who genuinely say it to compliment me will say things like "you lost a lot of weight and you look so good!" or "good on you!" or "you look amazing" and I know these people mean well and there's no hiding green monster, so there you go.

At one point - when tipping into 50's (kgs) I did worry that I was going too low - but guess what, I feel AMAZING and I'm really happy with the way I look (flat backside and all ?) and that's all that matters. Also, hubby can't get enough LOL!!!

One of my VP's at work walked by me and said if you keep losing weight your going to disappear...I just smiled and he laughed and said no really your doing great and you look great. Like I get it people want to comment on it, I have lots of weight and I have never ever ever been this size in my adult life. I think the last time I weight this was when I was 11-12 no joke. we had a new hire and I was training him, he saw pics of me when I was bigger at my desk with my family and said whoa is that you?! so its encouraging to know that new people who meet me or see me in the outside world they only see how I am now.

I am battling with my own stuff, being so small now I have no boobs, my butt is 3/4 gone. I mean I workout and I look lean. I am not sure how I am feeling. This entire thing is a whole mind game lol

On 7/2/2024 at 4:23 PM, ShoppGirl said:

You would be surprised they can be quite hurtful. Even the well intended ones that say you look so good are usually followed up by commenting on how big you were before which pretty much sucks. This can be especially difficult if you put a little weight back on or in my case a lot and then you have to go around those people knowing they are for sure judging you again. And even if you don’t gain it still kinda stings to know that people who are supposed to love you were judging you before for something that was out of your control. I had one person who had known me for years tell me that they just realized what a pretty girl I am about five minutes after they asked if I had lost weight!! I don’t think people think before they talk sometimes. Bottom line is any comments about weight CAN be hurtful and it’s something that people should tread really lightly about in my opinion. Or better yet learn to see a person for who they actually are and not even notice a persons size amongst other physical things (only in a perfect world I know).

Why do you say you wish you were getting these comments? Have you not lost what you expected to with the sleeve? Are you still losing? That’s what I had first and I never did get to my goal weight. I am doing a revision surgery to the SADI in early August. My dr said that the sleeve is a great surgery for a lot of people but obesity is a complex issue and it is not the best fit for everyone. Some people just need more of a metabolic change to be successful.

I think most just want to compliment you on your great accomplishment and we can be too sensitive. What I mean is no matter what someone says (yes some don't think it through AND do say hurtful things) it can be kinda hurtful if you think about it to much; " Oh you've let weight, you look great!" - So what are you saying, I didn't before when I was fat!? "You lost a lot of weight in your face, you're beautiful! - Again, I wasn't before? Its a very difficult mine field for ppl to transverse - I just take the compliment and move on.

"better yet learn to see a person for who they actually are and not even notice a persons size amongst other physical things (only in a perfect world I know)." - After all the work I've gone though to lose the weight, its nice to have it acknowledged. I'm not sure I'd be happy if they just kept talking after not having seen me in awhile and not at least mention my weight loss...but, to each their own, we're all different.

I try my hardest to not read into what or how ppl say things, I just take it as hopefully a compliment, but if it's not, then the hurtful thing is on them - not me.

17 hours ago, BlondePatriotInCDA said:

we can be too sensitive.

+100000000000000000000000000000000

@T O P how are you doing?