Mad at myself

[newmebithebypass 713]

So as the title suggests I am mad at myself. Not looking for sympathy just more as a warning to those who are about to have the surgery or just had it.... I went back to all my old bad habits. I lost my mom less than a year afterwards and the depression set in. I'm gonna try and get help for where my brain is at. I've gained just about all my weight back. And I know I can get it off but it will take time. Any advice on where to start as far as the gym. Hugs

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[summerseeker 1,846]

I am so sorry that this has happened to you, its so tough loosing your Mum especially during this pandemic. You have woken up and have asked for help and thats all that matters. There is a lady on here called @GradyCat Who has started her diet from the beginning again and she may be the best one to advise you. Good luck and be kind to yourself, depression is awful. Hugs x

[LilaNicole20 250]

36 minutes ago, newmebithebypass said:

So as the title suggests I am mad at myself. Not looking for sympathy just more as a warning to those who are about to have the surgery or just had it.... I went back to all my old bad habits. I lost my mom less than a year afterwards and the depression set in. I'm gonna try and get help for where my brain is at. I've gained just about all my weight back. And I know I can get it off but it will take time. Any advice on where to start as far as the gym. Hugs

Sent from my SM-A326U using BariatricPal mobile app

Hi! Good job on getting yourself together to move past the trauma and towards getting your life back on track. You can read some of the posts I have made on here - on various threads to understand that I, too, know loss. I maintained a 180lb weight loss from 2005-2019 with just diet and exercise.

my suggestion for you in the gym would be to start with stretching. Stretch in between everything you do there. While you're walking on the treadmill or doing cardio, stop after about 10 minutes and stretch. Get into your body!

The stretching will allow you to feel your body in ways that you may have not before. This can become like a meditation and also improve your flexibility. You body will love it and it will help to propel you.

Feel free to reach out if you want a more guided approach.

[Sleeve_Me_Alone 654]

I'm so sorry for your loss. Everything you are feeling is valid, and there is no shame in struggling. You are recognizing it and taking action to get back to health, that first step is the hardest part! As for the gym, I would say just do what you can and be consistent with it. If that's the treadmill or weights or swimming - whatever it is, do it regularly. Once you've made going a habit, you can add in another machine or heavier weights or whatever. But the first step is just making it a habit. We are rooting for you.

[Guest]

Life throws this stuff at us. You're doing great - you know where you are, where you want to be and how to get from here to there. You've done it before and you'll do it again.

[Guest]

Hugs.

Don't be mad at yourself. We do our best. Sometimes, that means taking care of other things in life, and treating ourselves badly. Then we learn, and our best gets better next time.

Head first. Then see what your options are as for the weight. First step is to stabilize, not to dive head-first into a crash diet. You can't make good plans when you're screaming with hunger.

[Toomany#s 59]

I did the same thing after my sleeve except that I never really allowed it to work at all. I lost my mom, my father, and my dad within 16 months and my husband was being treated for cancer plus my brother and his family stopped speaking to me. I was horribly depressed and really was hoping to die so I wouldn’t have to cope anymore. I went to grief therapy, then a therapist. Now I’m on an even keel again and was just revised to a bypass on the 8th. Don’t beat yourself up, sometimes we simply have too much to deal with and we tend to be hardest on ourselves. If you were talking to a friend, you wouldn’t beat them up. Just try to take things one day at a time and do the best you can. That’s really all any of us can do. I highly recommend grief therapy if it’s available. Our local hospice group offered it for free and so do some churches. There’s a really good speaker, Dr. Alan Wofelt if you look him up. Maybe he will be in a town near you. Listening to others dealing with grief at different stages helped me feel less alone although I still miss my folks every day. My best lifelong friend died in December and I was able to not go back off the deep end. Be kind to yourself.

[I♡BypassedMyPhatAss♡ 800]

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. I firmly believe that. I've had many hiccups in my bariatric journey and each time I make it through to the otherside and get back on track, I understand myself a little better, and each subsequent hiccup was easier to navigate for me. Because I understood how I responded. So I knew how to prevent beating myself up and how to get through the bump in the road. Beating yourself up only takes you further backwards and away from your goal.

Most of my hiccups have been physical issues with injuries at the gym or flare ups of a chronic disease that decides to make life miserable sometimes. But it's the same concept... learn from this hiccup and be more prepared to deal with the next bump in the road. Because honey, life has a way of tossing them our way quite often. Don't be mad at yourself. Only be mad at yourself if you completely give up and throw in the towel. Which you haven't, so you're on the right path and in the right place... here on BP, where you have support from many others that have walked where you're walking now.

Best wishes on your journey!

[Spinoza 1,171]

Good advice here. It sounds like you're ready to start your journey again. I hope you are healing and continue to heal from those big losses. Your plan sounds excellent - as MGBD says, head first. Keep telling us here how you're getting along - we will all be rooting for you. I believe that in no time at all you'll be shedding your weight and claiming your new life. Good luck x

[GradyCat 3,692]

First, I'm sorry for your loss. Second, it happens. It happened to me. I gained close to 30 pounds back during COVID, but the good news is that the WLS still works and I was able to successfully lost that 30 pounds back just recently. It's possible. You can do it. Take care of yourself and get back to the basics and you'll be successful.

[Tomo 1,135]

Hugs. Treat yourself as you would a close friend. What would you tell them in a difficult time in their life? I am so sorry for your loss. I loss someone dear to me a few years back. It hurts so much. We tend to fall back on old addictions for comfort.

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[Candace76 211]

Sending hugs, and I'm very sorry to hear of the loss of your mother. Thank you for sharing your experience with weight gain after surgery. I think it is a fear that many of us have & it is unfortunate how easily the weight can come back. I hope getting the help you believe you need gets you back to where you want to be. I wish you well, and know you can do it. 😊🍀

[ShoppGirl 3,356]

I am sorry for your loss and that you gained weight. As others have suggested your tool is still there you just have to get back In your groove with your nutrition and exercise. I agree that where ever you choose to begin with the gym is a great start by just making it a habit getting there (I could take my own advise here). I think your idea to talk to someone may be your best. Keep posting your progress here as I’m sure you will have several of us here in your corner along the way.

[ShoppGirl 3,356]

I am sorry for your loss and that you gained weight. As others have suggested your tool is still there you just have to get back In your groove with your nutrition and exercise. I agree that where ever you choose to begin with the gym is a great start by just making it a habit getting there (I could take my own advise here). I think your idea to talk to someone may be your best. Keep posting your progress here as I’m sure you will have several of us here in your corner along the way.

[shriner37 249]

Sorry to hear of your loss and challenges. We all deal with stress differently, so the thought of seeking assistance with that is good advice.

I will say from the weight perspective, I was six years out from my sleeve and had gained back about 45 pounds. I found that what worked for me was to go on a 'time restricted feeding' schedule, and to eat a diet that was generally Keto when I did eat. I skipped Breakfast and only ate from Noon to 6pm. For those two meals I would have a serving of Protein, and a green vegetable or salad. I was able to drop about 20 pounds in a couple of months. I stopped because my hiatal hernia had worsened enough that it had to be fixed with revision to bypass, but the diet program was working well.

There is a nutrition doctor named Dr. Jason Fung who develops programs for insulin control diets, which is what I based my program on. You might want to Google him and check out his information.